Bachman Twilight
by Mortissues
Summary: Four love stories and centuries of drama combine to create a unique family.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Prologue**

**RPOV **

I cannot believe I've ended up in this podunk, one horse, shit ass town. You have to collect your own pizza for fuck's sake!

There aren't words for the level of horror.

My stupid parents have been trying to ruin my life forever and now they've finally hit a fucking home run.

There really are no redeeming features to this cluster fuck.

When Mom left Dad here all those years ago I was broken hearted. Too young to appreciate what a break leaving for Phoenix was, only old enough to be crushed that I was losing my Dad.

But as I got older things kind of settled down. She may be a slightly dodgy Mom but we rubbed along well together in the warm desert heat and Dad felt so bad that I was growing up without him that vacations, whether I visited Forks or he came to me, were always fun and filled with the sort of spoiling Mom couldn't afford.

Then she had to go and fall in love. Like she hadn't learnt her lesson the first time?

He's a complete dick and there's an irony in the fact his name is Richard, Richard Royce King, King of the Dicks.

I tried to be nice to him, I really did.

But jeez, he made it fucking impossible.

In the end I was 'so out of control' that everyone decided to exile me to Dad's. Surely a Chief of Police can straighten out one excessively surly teenager?

We'll see.

Though they might be right.

It's not like I can get in much fucking trouble in Forks, Washington. Is it?

...

Somehow in all the chaos I'd completely failed to register that I'd be starting class at the local High School mid semester.

Total fucking yay.

Its _complete_ shit, even though I'm probably a foot taller and a degree of civilisation better educated than the local losers. Being tan, blonde and beautiful isn't exactly gonna hurt either.

Still.

It sucks to be me this morning.

I can't afford a car and Dad won't buy me one so he's dropping me off in his cruiser.

My normal school attire is borderline appropriate, as in as much tanned skin on display as I can get away with, but it's so fucking cold in the rainiest town in the continental US that I'm wearing jeans and three t-shirts under the thickest sweater I own.

I seriously need to go shopping.

"Rose?" Dad hollers from downstairs. "Ya ready?"

"Yeah Dad!" I shout back.

"As I'll ever be." I whisper with one last practice scowl at the mirror.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter One Shiny New Toy**

**RPOV **

Seriously?

This is it?

It's . . . . miniscule . . . . surely it's the Community Center, not the High School?

Holy shit, I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb, even more so than usual.

"That's Mike Newton's boy." Dad says, pointing to an athletic looking blonde with pale blue eyes hovering near the entrance. "Mike Junior, he's promised to show you around. They own a store in town. Be nice, maybe there'll be a job in it for you."

"Humph."

"Rosalie." He sighs, using my full name. "You're stuck here baby, take some advice from your old man, suck it up and make the best of it."

...

Dad's still at work when I get home so I fling my bag onto the sagging couch and run up to my new room.

Make the best of it he said.

Yeah. Right.

I tried. I really did.

Mike was okay, easy on the eye, friendly enough if a little handsy for a first meeting. At least he got the message after the third time I leapt away from him and gave him the Rosalie Hale death stare. Not that it curbed his enthusiasm any.

The rest of them were almost as bad, though the only names I remember are Tyler and Eric.

Jeez.

Did they even realise they were drooling?

And the girls?

Pfft.

Lauren and Jessica. Two blonde wanna be bitches. A platinum version and a girl next door one.

I only met one girl I wouldn't spit on if she were on fire and that was Angela, though as she's a Minister's daughter I doubt we're destined to be besties. He's probably hosing her down in holy water as we speak, if he heard any of the gossip before I hit town.

It was kind of okay up until lunch and then _they_ arrived.

The Whitlocks.

Relatively new arrivals to Forks too.

Every one of them completely gorgeous and it isn't often I'm compelled to acknowledge that. Doctor Whitlock and his wife have apparently adopted the best looking family available to medical science and the gene pool.

Esme Platt and Carlisle Whitlock are seniors and a couple. A petite beauty with caramel hair and a blonde Adonis with a future in underwear modelling.

Then there were Edward and Bella. More adopted kids, living as a couple with the Whitlocks, she's apparently in some of the same classes as me. He was, briefly, the best looking guy I've ever laid eyes on, tall, lean, with the wildest bronze hair. And you could almost lose your heart to him at first sight just for the way he looks at Bella, his lips curling into a crookedly perfect smile every time he does.

My jaw was ready to smack down onto the lunch table by that point but the beauty pageant wasn't over because _he_ walked in.

Emmett, Em, Whitlock. The most beautiful, well built, boy I will _ever_ lay eyes on.

My eyes followed him across the cafeteria and Jessica's eyes followed mine.

"Don't bother." She'd growled bitterly. "You won't be good enough. No one is _ever_ good enough for Emmett."

I could have kept quiet. I probably _should_ have kept quiet.

But it wouldn't have been me.

"Turn you down?" I'd asked sweetly.

Lauren laughed out loud and Angela hid her face to cover her smile.

In the ensuing quiet I could hear her girl next door teeth grinding, but there obviously wasn't a lot she could say in front of witnesses to her previous humiliation.

Anyway, the temperature around our table began to slide down to frosty at that point.

Bitches know when they've met a superior model.

It's the pheromones or something.

And yet it could still go downhill from there.

The only seat free in Biology this afternoon was next to the very same Em Whitlock.

I've always prided myself on my poise with boys.

Yeah, that rhymes.

But.

There was something about his smile as I walked toward him.

Cocky. Yes. Knowing, seen it tried before but never quite so successfully as he was managing.

I was all over that.

But there was a predatory quality to it too that made my stomach flip with unknown anticipation and curl in on itself with fear.

You usually have to have a firm grip on both my shoulders to shake me.

But he shook me to my very core with that smile.

So shaken even my inner voice was spouting fucking clichés apparently.

I spent the whole lesson hiding behind the heavy curtain of my hair and I was the first one out the door when the bell went, knocking down a couple of fellow students in my haste.

Tomorrow can't come soon enough . . . . they're all gonna be so pleased to see me again . . . .

...

Well, I survived my first week.

So what if I spent the nights crying into my pillow.

We're all entitled to our weak moments and there has been a shit ton of stuff going on in my life recently.

...

By the end of week two I'd recovered enough from my bout of self pity to notice that Em Whitlock was watching me as much as I was watching him.

And to notice that the other boys were watching me, so starved were they of anything else attractive to fixate on.

And that the Bitches of Forks didn't care if I was a bigger or more popular bitch as long as some of my 'out of town' glamour rubbed off on them.

Familiar territory.

...

"Be home by midnight." Dad orders as I check my reflection in the hall mirror.

"I will Dad." I assure him, blotting my lipstick again. "Angela's driving and she's going to bring me back."

"Say hello to Jacob Black if you see him." He reminds me. "His father and I are still friends and you two used to play together when you were little."

"Will do." I murmur, having no idea what he's talking about.

"Behave." He growls and I feel compelled to look at him.

"I will Dad, I promise."

He nods and stomps back into the den just as Angela rolls to a stop outside.

"First Beach." She announces as we pull up amongst a sea of other cars. "Party central. Watch out for the wolves. And don't drink the punch."

The huge bonfire reminds me of Phoenix except for the blue green flames.

Cool. But a bit wrong.

The sound system is epic though.

Eric and another boy, Ben I think, accost us as soon as we step onto the sand, shepherding us over to the rest of the kids from Forks High. Despite the warmth of the fire there are two distinct groups hovering on either side of it. Us kids from town and the kids who live in La Push and go to school on the Res, and its fascinating to watch the interaction unfold, the more drink is consumed the more the lines blur until after an hour or so we're just one bunch of inebriated madly dancing kids.

It's a typical party, although its the first one I've attended outside in weather that's cold enough to freeze a witch's tit.

I deflect Eric.

I avoid Tyler.

I dazzle the boys from the Res all of which alternately pleases and scandalises the Bitches of Forks who are in awe of my finesse and apparent pickiness.

And I remove Mike's hands from proximity to my body repeatedly and with increasing levels of violent annoyance.

A truly typical party, though there is one other thing different, the whole time I'm keeping a look out for Em Whitlock.

...

He didn't show and none of the Whitlocks are at school on Monday, which annoys me because their absence has my interest piqued, even though the sun is out and the rest of us are soaking it up in the grounds between lessons like addicts.

"Enjoy it Hale." Mike urges as he stretches out beside me. "It doesn't happen very often, you might need to hire a sun bed to keep that tan topped up."

"I'd rather be see through than orange." I growl, slapping away the hand that was about to alight on my exposed midriff.

"Have you heard about the dance?" He asks.

"I have."

"Would you like to be my date?"

No.

"I can't Mike, I'm sorry, I'm flying out to visit my Mom that weekend. Maybe you should ask Jessica, she's really into you."

"Maybe I should . . . ." He drawls.

Yeah, Mike, it will be a cold day in hell before you can make me jealous, move it along . . . .

...

Mike wasn't the last loser to ask me to the dance.

My rejections were varying levels of bitchy depending on how much their entreaty annoyed me.

None of which did anything to enhance my popularity.

By the end of that week Angela was pretty much the only person still speaking to me and the wildly unnerving Em Whitlock was pretty much the only one still smiling at me.

Though it was still having the same effect, anticipation and terror.

...

"Hi."

I look up from my catastrophically strewn books to find Bella Whitlock smiling at me.

What a time to trip over my own feet, I really need to spend less time on the internet at night and more time sleeping.

"Can I help?" She asks in that low musical voice I don't hear very often.

"No, thanks, I've got them."

"So you have." She laughs quietly. "I'd still be scrabbling around on the floor if it were me."

I gape at her.

"Clumsy." She smirks, pointing at her chest.

"Bella." Edward interrupts and I across to find him giving me the stink eye. "Are you ready?"

"Of course." She demurs, winking at me. "See you later Rosalie."

...

Biology.

I've been thinking about nothing but this all day and I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved when the stool next to me is vacant.

I sort my books out and straighten out the homework assignments I've balled up and squashed into my bag while Dr Banner faffs about like the motherfaffer he is. I've torn the math one and so I'm frowning at it unattractively when the door opens again and Em Whitlock breezes in, oozing confidence and danger.

God he's good looking, it almost makes you need to squint . . . .

Jaw up, I order as he smirks and slides behind me onto his stool.

It hardly seems fair on ordinary boys that such a big guy can move so gracefully, he must be quite an athlete . . . .

And what is that smell? I have to get me into Port Angeles to find a bottle of that, it's, _heavenly_.

Ew. I just said heavenly, even in my head that's . . . . lame.

"Hi."

I gape at him, a lot of gaping going on today.

His voice is deep and smooth enough to qualify as audible silk.

Jaw up.

"I didn't introduce myself last time we sat together." He continues, dark gold eyes sparkling with amusement. "Incredibly rude I know. You must be Rosalie?"

"Rose." I correct.

"Nice to meet you, Rose."

By now I've recovered enough to incline my head in cool acknowledgement, pointedly ignoring his proffered hand.

This seems to amuse him even more and he's smiling as he organises his own books.

He has the sexiest smile . . . .

"Rose?" He asks quietly.

I nod, watching in wonder as his full perfectly sculpted lips form around my name for a second time.

"Dr Banner is trying, and failing, to attract your attention."

"Oh shit . . . ."

His rich unrestrained laugh does terrible, terrible, things to me as I turn to the front of the class.

I'm more than happy to appreciate a fine looking boy and I'm mostly okay with one appreciating me.

But that's it.

I have issues.

I know this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Two Attention Detention**

**RPOV **

As the days moved on it turned out that I didn't have to worry about Em, in fact I can honestly say I prefer him over every other boy I've met since I moved here.

We look at each other. We flirt, in our own weird way during Biology. But other than he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me.

And though he sends me into a girly spin every time I glimpse him across campus I can deal with that.

What I'm struggling with is Mike.

I'm pretty sure he's harmless but his constant need to touch me is pushing every single button I have. I'm kind of okay with that causing me to haul off and smack him one, it's not like I haven't tried to indicate to his obtuse ass that I don't like it.

But I'm not okay with the other reaction I can see coming.

Not in front of these kids, the ones I'm condemned to live out my school life with.

...

Mom finally gets in touch.

By email.

Which is nice.

And so does Dick.

Not so nice.

I don't show that one to Dad, as much as I'm tempted.

...

"Miss Hale you really need to consider the tone of your interaction with your fellow students."

I shrug because I'm sorry but I don't see what saying so adds to anything.

Rose done bad.

That's something he's going to get used to, my new Principle.

"A volley ball is not a weapon."

It is when it's thrown by me, I never miss, and she had a massively fat face, what was I supposed to do?

"What made you do it?"

Truth.

Lie.

Truth.

Lie.

Well, the truth doesn't work, that much I do know.

"I thought a ball to the face might make her more attractive."

"Fine Miss Hale, I will see you in detention."

...

"You too?" Bella Whitlock snickers as I take the desk beside her.

"I guess."

"What did you do?"

"Volleyball exocet."

"Cool. I wish I had the talent for that."

"What did you do?"

"Pointed out that being married to a Spanish speaker didn't make you fluent. Seriously, her accent makes me want to hurl, she'd be better off teaching us how to make paella."

"I know what you mean but isn't that a little sexist?"

"Pfft." She shrugs, opening a random text book. "You think the sexual revolution means we're all entitled to a leg up? Stupid is stupid. Doesn't matter what color, sex or creed you are."

"Amen sister." I mutter as I find a book of my own.

Romeo and Juliet.

Romance or epic uselessness, discuss in a hundred words . . . .

...

Edward is waiting for Bella as we exit detention, naturally, and he pushes his long body away from the wall and folds it round hers like he hasn't seen her in a week.

Sigh, too much time around some of these Whitlocks and I'm going to turn to mush.

"See you tomorrow Rosalie." Bella calls as I push my way out the double doors in into the dreary drizzle.

Ugh.

I pull up the hood on my jacket and splash across the parking lot, it's only a short walk home but I'll be soaked to the skin and blue with cold by the time I get there . . . .

...

I'm saved from another depressing Forks weekend by Angela who wants company dress shopping in Port Angeles.

I'm only too happy to oblige and I'm kind of impressed that she plucked up the courage to ask Ben to the dance because god knows she'd have been an old maid before he managed to do it. Shy does not do his issues justice.

"Shops!" I squeal, leaping out of her car and spreading my arms wide.

"Steady there Phoenix." She giggles. "PA isn't exactly Seattle."

"Quick." I grab her arm. "Before the mirage disappears!"

...

"It depends what impact you're going for." I hedge as she asks my opinion on another dress.

"Impact?"

"Impact. Do you want him to ask you to marry him? Jizz his pants on sight? A nice romantic night out with gentle kissing? Gropage?"

God she blushes easily.

"Somewhere between romance and light groping?" She whispers.

"In that case try the dark blue one on again. This one will probably remind him of his Mom."

"It is a bit Sunday School." She admits with a laugh.

A few hours later we're done, shoes and accessories bought for Angela and many, many, thick sweaters and socks bought for me.

We tried all the men's colognes in PA's one and only department store but none of them smelt like Em Whitlock.

And then we caught a movie.

Back home I might have called it lame but its one of the best days I can remember having in pretty much _forever_. No expectations, no games to play or roles to fulfil, nothing but nice safe boredom waiting for me at home . . . .

...

Surprise, surprise, it's too wet to do Phys Ed outside.

More volleyball.

They put fat face on the same team as me, like that was gonna save her . . . .

Maybe if she'd kept her mouth shut, but no, that would have been asking _way_ too much.

Oh well.

...

"What are you in for this time?" Bella asks as she slips into the seat next to mine.

"The same. You?"

"I've branched out." She laughs, pulling out some homework. "It's not my fault I know more about the subject than the teacher is it?"

"Possibly not Ms Whitlock." The Principle growls as he makes his way to the front of the room. "But perhaps you can learn the manners not so say so?"

Bella rolls her eyes at his back and I stifle a laugh, I really don't want to be in any more trouble, Dad's already making me detail the cruiser this weekend and fuck knows who's been in the back of _that_ thing.

...

It's the dance tonight and I'm hiding out at home.

I wouldn't have really objected to visiting Mom but she and the Dick are a package deal and there's no way I would have been invited.

Dad's friend Billy Black is coming over for dinner with his son and in the interests of never having to wash the cruiser again I'm making an enormous lasagne for the occasion.

I remember Billy, the wheelchair and the back story is kind of hard to forget but I've still got a mental blank where the very large, very handsome, very awkward Jacob Black is concerned.

He's so cute you just want to jiggle his cheeks, and so ripped you wish he'd strip. What are they feeding these boys on the Res, steroids?

The boy didn't manage to address a single word to me all night although kudos to him for not drooling like the morons at Forks High.

His epic and immediate crush was kind of sweet, even Dad didn't seem bothered by it, just exchanging the occasional smirk with Billy when they didn't think either of us was looking.

...

"If you manage not to get detention again I can pick you up tonight, we could have dinner at The Lodge." Dad says as we swing into the parking lot.

"Okay."

"What does she say to you that sets you off?" He asks yet again.

"She thinks I'm a slut because I'm blonde and boys like me." I repeat yet again.

"And this requires a violent response why exactly?"

"I am not a slut."

"Have you told her that?"

"No."

"Why don't you try it?"

"Yeah Dad, I'll get right on it."

"You know, Rose, I went to High School too, I know what it can be like."

"No offence Dad but men are from mars and women are from venus, you and I are not on the same planet with this."

"Fine." He huffs. "But at least try and remember you're the Chief of Police's daughter, don't make me come down here and arrest your ass."

"Gotcha. See you tonight."

...

In the interests of heading trouble off at the pass I confront fat face in the locker room.

"If you don't want another ball to the face I suggest you lay off this lesson."

"Bring it. _Slut_." She croons.

"_Sweetie_." I croon back, using my superior height and physique to push her into the nearest locker and trap her there. "The only difference between you and me is that I could be a slut if I chose to and you probably couldn't get fucked if your life depended on it.

You leave me alone and I'll leave you alone.

Otherwise its game on sister and you won't like the way I play."

At least she shows _some_ intelligence when she doesn't answer and just pushes past me into the sports hall.

...

I'm rather proud of myself as I make my way to my next class.

She muttered a couple of things but she didn't use the slut word again so no detention for Rose today, if I keep this up I could be getting a burger and a banana split at The Lodge later. Go me.

Dr Banner, or Dr Faff depending on the presence of the patience gene in your make up, is once again late starting our lesson which gives everyone the time they've been craving to talk about the dance. I'd have happily stayed out of it but Mike has other ideas.

"You should have come." He informs me, leaning into my personal space.

"Its okay, I don't mind." I reply, backing up into Em's.

He slides himself onto the lab table.

"I'd rather have taken you than Jessica." He murmurs, leaning in again.

"I hope you haven't told her that." I snap, inching so far back I can feel Em's knee against my backside.

"Of course not." He whispers. "But I would if you asked me to."

Words have failed me, which is unusual, but then he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his warm fingers trailing across my cheek.

Uproar, the whole place is in uproar . . . .

...

I open my eyes to find Em hovering over me, his gold eyes shining with concern.

"Are you alright?" He asks, studying me intently.

"Where am I?"

"Nurse's office. You passed out."

"Is that all?" I ask, dread knotting in my stomach.

"Not exactly." He drawls.

"How did I get here?"

"I carried you."

"What happened?"

"After you head butted Mike and broke his nose?" He asks, fighting back a smile.

"Yeah. After that." I ask, struggling to sit up.

"Don't." He urges, resting a hand lightly on my shoulder. "Lie down, you might have a concussion."

I obey but I'm acutely conscious of his cool hand on my body, breathing a sigh of relief or something as he removes it.

"Where's the nurse?"

"Waiting for the EMTs."

"No, shit, really? My Dad will totally freak out."

"Yeah." Em chuckles. "The Chief is already on his way apparently."

"Is Mike okay?"

"Sadly yes." Em confirms. "His equally slimy father has already collected him to drive him to the emergency room."

I giggle snort but it does actually make my head hurt so I close my eyes and try to relax.

"You know." He observes quietly. "Not that I don't think he deserved it, and wasn't very pleased to be fortunate enough to witness it, but I can't help but wonder if your reaction might have been a little _extreme_."

"No one touches me without my permission."

"Duly noted." He chuckles again as the door bursts open spilling people into the room.

I keep my eyes closed and let him explain that I am in fact conscious and coherent, I need all my brain power to work out what the fuck I'm gonna tell Dad about this latest debacle . . . .


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Three Thunder in the Aisles**

**RPOV **

Doctor Whitlock, who is every bit the fine piece of ass gossip has reported him to be, eventually gives me a clean bill of health and releases me into Dad's custody.

The drive home is silent but I know better than to head straight up to my room, there's no such thing as getting off easy in my experience.

"I don't understand you." He sighs, locking up his gun belt and collapsing into this chair. "You couldn't have just slapped his face like a normal girl?"

Oh Dad, I have no idea where to start with that one.

"I know he was putting the moves on you, the class was full of talkative witnesses and I've already had a word with him about it. But Rose? You broke his nose, don't you think that's a little _extreme_?"

Of course I do, that makes three of us now. I keep quiet though, since I don't know how much else they told him . . . .

"Lauren Mallory said you had a complete meltdown, that you were screaming and lashing out until Emmett Whitlock got hold of you and you fainted."

"I don't remember."

Yeah, all that brain power and that's the best I can come up with.

He levels a look at me and I look back.

We _are _related, he should know better than to try that on me and expect any kind of result.

He sighs, stretching his legs out.

"I don't know what's going on with you." He admits. "I love ya Rose, I want you to be happy but I'm just a man. I don't know why you're not or what I can do about it. I need you to talk to me . . . ."

"Dad." I sigh, patting his shoulder awkwardly. "I'm fine, just going through a phase like Mom said. You don't need to worry about me. It's better for me here, I've only gotten in trouble at school and my grades are up anyway, that's an improvement, right?"

"Rose, I'm not completely st . . . ."

"I'm sorry Dad. He's a creep and I overreacted, maybe I need an anger management class or something?"

I left the poor man looking online to see if such a thing exists for teenagers in Washington State and dumped myself in the tub. There's something about a locked bathroom door that makes it seem like the whole world's been made to take a step back.

...

I decided to walk to school, maybe because it wasn't until I was across the street from it that I was sure whether or not I was actually going to go.

The problem, however, with being a Hale is that we don't back down from shit.

Nevertheless I'm as pleased as fuck that I don't have superhuman hearing because it's hard enough not overhear them all whispering about me as it is.

When I was little and I scowled Mom used to warn me I'd get stuck like it if the wind changed. Well the wind's changed Mom . . . .

I steeled myself for a lonely lunch but Angela wasn't having any of it, she just butted up to the table with me and proceeded to tell me all the details of her tame but cute night at the dance with Ben. And by the time she'd done we'd been joined by the Whitlocks.

They didn't say much to us, which was probably just as well because we were in as much shock as the rest of the student body but they'd certainly sent a message. They have their own table, at the back, in the corner, they always sit there . . . .

Some school days just call for a rousing chorus of hairbrush 'I Will Survive', sue me.

...

Mike came back the next day, with two mahoosive black eyes and Jessica fawning all over him like a wet blanket.

He didn't speak to me, for which I was grateful.

And she kept glaring at me, which I couldn't give a fuck about.

...

By the end of the week the world had very quietly shifted on its axis.

Angela, Ben and I were a regular trio at lunch, somehow always surrounded by the largely silent and more than a little strange Whitlocks.

They are really starting to fascinate me . . . .

Bella is by far the easiest to interact with, she has a snarky sense of humour I can get behind and a very mature way of looking at the world that makes me want to hang on her every word. If I'm honest her other half gives me the heebie jeebies, he's far more serious and intent than a teenage boy should be and his obvious dislike of me is more than a little off putting, but she seems to love him.

Esme and Carlisle, seriously where did they get those names, are the quietest of the bunch but possibly the happiest and most relaxed. They go to class, they get straight 'A's and all of that without apparently even noticing that the rest of us are even here. When one of them speaks even the Whitlocks seem surprised.

But of course this is my life and it's clearly fucked because it's Em that fascinates me most of all.

He's clearly no idiot but seems to be a natural clown, always saying and doing something to make the other's laugh. He and Bella seem real close and I wonder if they're related, Edward and Esme are apparently twins despite the polar opposite personalities, although quiet she kind of exudes warmth while her brother is frosty enough to freeze hot air.

...

By the weekend I have committed no further acts of gratuitous violence and Dad rewards me with that banana split at The Lodge.

Om, nom, nom.

Who doesn't like ice cream?

...

Angela invites me to go with her and Ben to the next party at La Push but I decline, I'm not really in a party mood.

Instead I opt to do the grocery shopping.

I can't keep eating what Dad eats and by the looks of him he shouldn't either.

Although he's working he drops me off at the store promising to pick me up if I text him when I'm done, there's not exactly a great deal of crime for him to thwart in Forks, he's probably bored out of his skull.

Speaking of which, I can eke this out . . . .

I plug my ear buds in and slouch down over the cart, lost in my own little world as I saunter up and down the aisles reading all the labels and perusing all the recipe cards.

I'm scowling at the pasta selection here, paltry, when the cart comes to sudden stop and I nearly bash my teeth out on it.

"Sorry." I mutter automatically, yanking out my ear buds and look up into a set of eyes that send a chill down my spine.

Is he wearing red contacts, what the fuck?

"No blood no foul." He says, staring at me, unblinking.

The skin on the back of my neck prickles and every cell in my body goes inexplicably cold. And I thought Mike Newton was creepy, I'm outta here . . . .

I mutter another sorry and steer my cart round him rapidly.

"No hurry sweetheart." He chuckles, his hand snagging in the back of my hoodie.

Oh no, no, no, no . . . .

"Rose!"

"Bella?" I gasp, my eyes darting to her sparkling gold ones.

She's appeared at the end of the aisle, with Edward standing behind her, his familiar ferocious frown aimed at the guy holding my hoodie rather than me, for once.

The piped muzak is incredibly loud in the ensuing silence.

"I'd let go of that, if I were you." A familiar voice growls behind me.

I'd love to turn around and make sure its him but my muscles have locked down and I'm frozen.

My hoodie pulls tight for a moment and then it's released and the cart and I career down the aisle, crashing into Bella who flicks me behind her with consummate ease.

Edward steps forward and looking past him I can see the red eyed guy trapped between he and Em in the aisle.

"Rose?" Bella whispers.

"Um?"

"Whatever happens stay right by me, okay?"

No problem.

The three guys just seem to be staring at each other in eerie silence as she backs us round the corner into the next aisle and toward the cash registers at the front of the store.

Behind us the doors swish open and I glance over to see Esme and Carlisle enter, both of them looking tense.

"The cavalry." Bella murmurs, guiding me over to them and before I know it they've ushered me outside and into a black SUV.

I don't know what the hell's going on but I'm scared to the marrow of my bones and not really surprised when an epic thunderstorm breaks out as we hurtle down the road, seems appropriate somehow. I have many, many, questions but terror has robbed me of the power of speech, who knew? It doesn't stop me trying though, my mouth must have opened and closed a dozen times before Carlisle pulls the SUV into my driveway. And I feel like a Hollywood starlet as Bella hurries me across the grass and into the house, practically covering my head with her long coat.

"You alright?" She asks as she regards me across my own kitchen.

No. I'm freaked the fuck out, what was that?

What _was_ that?

"I think I need some coffee." I mumble, stirring into life.

"I'd help you out with that but I'm completely useless in the kitchen."

I wave my hand slightly to let her know it doesn't matter.

"We were picking up some stuff for Alice when Em saw you." She says as I lumber about like a zombie. "I think my brother's a little taken with you to be honest, he certainly didn't seem too happy when that guy made a grab for you, he didn't think you would be either. I hope you don't mind us interfering like that?"

I shake my head. I mean I'm perfectly sane and reasonably au fait with self defence, my Dad is the Chief of Police after all. I was in a fairly crowded store, there wasn't an awful lot that could have happened to me, right? Why then am I still shaking with fear, my heart pounding in my chest? Apart from dubious taste in contact lenses and some pretty major boundary issues the guy wasn't that much of a danger to me was he?

"Coffee?" I offer.

"No thanks." She demurs.

"Do, um, Esme or Carlisle want any?" I ask, peering out the window, the SUV is still there but it looks empty. Fuck knows where they could have gone though, Dad and I are on the ass end of nowhere out here.

"Nah, they're fine too, Alice doesn't let us drink coffee, she can be a bit old fashioned. They were waiting for us in the car, at the store, I texted them to come in, just in case things got ugly."

I sip my coffee, not caring that it's burning the skin off the roof of my mouth.

"Em and Edward should be here in a minute." Bella says, checking her watch.

Not if they're walking.

Thank god that storm is over, I might finally be starting to calm down. I don't want to be one of those women, the ones that go to pieces faster than shrapnel whenever the slightest little thing goes wrong. I don't want to let this beat me, how the fuck am I gonna explain to Dad why I need to see a counsellor?

If Bella's finding the silence awkward she doesn't show it, she just watches me quietly like she can actually _see_ my heart rate slowing.

"Here they are." She announces as heavy boots shake the boards on the porch.

I stir myself to let them in but she beats me to it.

Edward immediately sweeps her into a hug, so desperate to get his arms round her in fact that he completely forgets to give me the stink eye first.

Em just looks at me.

"Are you alright?" He asks finally, after he's inspected me carefully from crown to toe. "We brought your groceries."

I never ever want to appear weak or afraid but I also don't want to appear ungracious, he, they, did after all save me from what might have been another embarrassing meltdown, not to mention also inexplicably saving me from being a total pariah at school. Not that I needed saving from either mind you, but still, it isn't often anyone does anything for me.

"Thanks." I murmur, taking the bags from him. "And thank you."

"No problem." He says with that cocky grin. "He didn't look like the asking permission type, I was just trying to save him the two black eyes."

Instead of being offended or defensive I bark out an unexpected, and possibly not very attractive laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Four Delirium**

**RPOV**

I was still a bit of a mess as I dashed out of the house into the teeming rain the following morning, on course to be catastrophically late for class.

What I actually managed to do was catastrophically collide with the monstrous great truck I wasn't expecting to find in my driveway.

"I'm sorry." Em laughs, as I stagger back swearing like a trooper. "I meant to offer you a ride to school, not injure you."

"I'm not injured and don't you guys have rules for this sort of thing in Forks?"

"Rules?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. 'Rules' Em. A guy only gives his _girlfriend_ a ride to school one on one."

He throws his head back and laughs.

"What?" I huff.

"Sorry." He snorts. "I hadn't got you pegged as the kind of girl who was over worried about rules."

"I'm not." I toss over my shoulder as I launch myself into the passenger seat and out of the rain. "I was just checking you weren't."

...

Yeah, chew on that bitches.

Em Whitlock gave me a ride to school.

There must have been a lot of chewing in fairness because he gave me a ride in and dropped me back home every day that week.

And he made me laugh, every single time.

...

Dad dragged me down to the Res with him on Saturday, not that I minded, I'd only have spent the time killing brain cells on the internet.

Jacob, or Jake as he's asked me to call him, managed to scrape up the nerve to introduce me to his friends and we spent the day riding up and down the beach on their motorcycles while Dad and Billy fished.

And that night we joined them for dinner, cooking it over a fire on the beach and telling horror stories. Dad even let me have a beer, maybe because he felt ashamed of having told the lamest vampire story of all time, Billy's was way cooler and I know now why the kids in Forks call the kids on the Res the Wolves.

Sunday Dad and I reached a magna carta of sorts on the household chores and had at it, with one teenager and one single cop on the premises the place was starting to make my skin crawl.

...

I wasn't expecting Em to pick me up on Monday morning, we hadn't discussed anything, so an odd warm and fuzzy feeling stole over me as I found his testosterone monstrosity rumbling in the driveway. He's absurdly proud of that thing I've learned and spends a lot of his spare time taking care of it and modifying it, the kids on the Res regard it with some kind of lustful awe. Not that I'll tell Em that, the boy's ego does not need the stroking.

...

"Taken down another teacher?" I ask Bella as I plonk myself down beside her.

"You know it. Volleyball?"

"Yeah but it was actually an accident this time, I guess no one was going to believe me with my track record."

"Yep." Bella sighs, flipping her feet up on the desk. "I get that, you should talk to Edward about it, he'd be more than able to sympathise."

I snort.

"What?" She asks.

"Me talk to Edward? I don't think he likes me."

"It's nothing personal Rose." She laughs. "Edward doesn't like anybody very much, he isn't exactly a people person."

"He seems to like you well enough." I point out.

"Yes, yes, he does." She snickers, eyes glinting wickedly. "And I must remember to thank him for that as soon as we're done here."

"Ew." I groan, fishing out my math homework. "TMI."

"Oh Rosalie Hale." She sighs happily. "You have _no_ idea."

This time we exit detention with two boys waiting for us.

Edward, who swoops on Bella like a man possessed and Em, who laughs at my detained ass and chivalrously lets me carry my own books.

...

"So." Dad says, sticking our plates in the sink and running the water like the good man I'm training him to be. "The Forks Rumour Mill seems to think you and the Whitlock kid are an item."

I gape at him.

"Chief of Police." He says, puffing out his chest.

I shake my head and roll my eyes to let him know I'm less than impressed with his sleuthing skills.

"We're just friends Dad." I explain, at least I think we are, it's not like we hang out outside school or anything.

"Hey, I didn't mean nothing by it." He says, laughing at me. "Just you know, if you were dating, it would be okay for you to invite him over the house, while I'm here."

"I don't date Dad."

"You used to, who was that kid you were plastered all over last time I came to Phoenix?"

"Cain, Dad, and that was like four years ago."

"Shit." He huffs. "Really?"

"And I wasn't plastered all over him, I don't think we ever even kissed, we just liked holding hands."

He looks at me funny for a moment.

"Shouldn't you, um, date? A girl your age?"

"No Dad, there's nothing says I have to. I'm picky."

"Fair enough." He decides, nodding to himself. "As a Dad I can't really complain about that I guess."

"Good." I drawl. "Are we done with this highly awkward conversation?"

"Only if you finish the dishes."

"Lousy magna carta breaker." I mutter as he grabs a beer and ducks out of the kitchen laughing.

...

Another weekend looms and I wish for about the millionth time I had a car, even some old beater, just something that could get into PA so I can pretend I live in the civilised world. Forks is kind of growing on me but god, its, dull. Dull, dull, dull.

Am I desperate enough yet to get up at the ass crack of dawn on a Saturday and catch the bus?

Apparently yes.

Jesus, it's fucking cold, I can _see_ my _breath_. I know this is normal but _shit_, I grew up in the desert, I'm not cut out for this. And my feet, two pairs of socks and they're ice blocks already.

Since there's fuck all to do in Forks my allowance is burning a hole in my pocket, or maybe that's just because its subsidised by Dick and I can't get rid of it quick enough, either way I feel a deep need to spend . . . .

...

Half the kids in Forks have also escaped to PA today but they all seem to have cars. I'm going to have to get a job, but not at Newton's, obviously, which is a serious dent in a teenager's earning potential in Forks. Maybe Dad could pay me to clean the station or something.

I spend half my money quickly since I have a seriously limited range of interests and then I get a coffee and a window seat to soak up the atmosphere and people watch.

I spot Angela and Ben across the street, strolling along hand in hand, and hide behind my book for a minute. They're always inviting me to tag along with them but I don't want to be a third wheel, I get enough of that at the lunch table. They are nauseatingly cute though, somehow it doesn't even matter that she's taller than him.

Then my interest really perks up. Strolling down the sidewalk is Doctor Whitlock, hand in hand with a woman as tiny as he is tall. Must be the Mom, Alice. They're laughing together and as I watch he lifts his arm and twirls her underneath it, like they're dancing. They look so happy, him taking loose strides on his long legs and her a graceful ball of energy at his side. One thing is pretty obvious, Forks can gossip about his fine ass till the cows come home but that ass is definitely off the market. I wonder what possessed a couple so young to adopt so many older kids?

It must be couples day because not long after Jessica and Mike walk by though it looks like they're in the middle of an awesome argument and would rather be anywhere else than together.

I sigh and then scrunch up my napkin in annoyance.

Time for more spending I think.

...

Its dark and surprise, surprise, cold and raining as I wait for the bus back to Forks with all the other unfortunate non car owners. Too late for shoppers and too early for a night on the town the streets are eerily deserted and I've an overwhelming urge to get home.

Finally it rocks up and we all pile on with undue haste and a total lack of regard for each other's personal safety, even the Forks born and bred feel the cold apparently.

The journey takes forever and I can't even look at the scenery, trees, because the lights inside the bus make the windows black, all I can see through the steamed up windows is the occasional bead of moisture rolling down the glass.

Hurry up, this whole day is making me as depressed as fuck, I need reality TV and ice cream and I need it now.

Of course, when I'd sloshed into town this morning I completely failed to appreciate that I'd have to slosh back after my day out, I could text Dad but he's probably got his feet up with a beer by now.

My jeans are soaked through and chafing my legs by the time our porch light comes into view and I groan when I realise there's no cruiser in the driveway, I could probably have texted him after all, still once I'm dry and warm there won't be anyone to fight for the remote, or the ice cream.

...

I'm reclining happily on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry's when Dad texts to let me know he's probably going to be at the station all night, I text back my condolences and settle down for some serious non sports related channel hopping.

Why is it, when you pretty much have a free pass to stay up all night and watch what you want you start yawning at midnight?

Maybe it was the beer, I'm not much of a drinker but I like to chug a beer every once in a while like any other teenager.

Groggy and tired I shut off the TV and drag myself upstairs, curling up in my blankets as the rain hammers down on the roof.

God, that sound is going to drive me demented before I even get a _whiff_ of graduation . . . .

Is this the first time I've slept here alone? I guess so. It never bothered me back in Phoenix, Mom and Dick used to go out a lot . . . . mind you there wasn't a tree outside my bedroom window there and there were no branches to scratch at the walls and tap on the roof . . . . it sounds like it's trying to get into the house . . . . not that I can blame it, it's dry and warm in here . . . . thunder . . . . I'm so tired . . . . why can't it . . . . just . . . . leave . . . .

Mmm, warm sun, I don't care if I am only dreaming . . . . gonna make the most of the feel of it . . . . miss the sun . . . . don't laugh at me Em, not cut out for the cold and the dark . . . .

...

"Rose!" Dad yells. "Are you coming to La Push with me or not?"

"Wha . . . .?" I croak.

Oh, ouch, throat hurts. Voice malfunctioning. Weakly I try to fight my way out of my blankets, groaning as I fall back with my head swimming.

Of course, it figures, Forks has finally managed to kill me, or at least make me massively sick.

Boots thud up the stairs and the bedroom door sweeps open to reveal Dad's frustrated face.

"Jesus Christ." He exclaims.

"Thanks Dad." I whimper.

"What happened to you?"

"Sick."

"Yeah, um, I can see that." He scratches his head. "What do I do?"

"W-water . . . . pills . . . . sleep."

"Right, um, shit, okay."

...

I have no idea if I'm dreaming or hallucinating but I keep seeing gold eyes and Em and random people bringing me food and water, I don't know how long this head spinning weirdness goes on for but it feels like _forever_.

And I don't even care that its dark the first time I wake up and feel like me again.

With a sigh I stretch out, testing my aching muscles and the wooliness of my head.

Better. Definitely better.

"Ew, I stink."

Someone laughs and I lurch upright, blinking.

"Great Dad, leave the window open in Forks, are you trying to kill me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Five Consistent**

**RPOV**

Something's bugging me, kind of gnawing at me like a rat, no idea what it is though so I'm gonna choose to ignore it.

Dad drops me at school my first day back and I realise at least one thing that's bothering me, I'm anxious about seeing Em again. What sort of anxious I'm not sure but I feel a little sick, like I did the first few times I saw him.

No one seems pleased or displeased to see me in the first couple of lessons which is okay, a few people ask if I'm feeling better but only Angela actually cares.

My sick stomach knots up a bit more as I make my way to lunch, I don't know what to expect and I don't like it, I'd much rather expect nothing.

Ben is busy whispering in Angela's ear at our usual table but she waggles her eyebrows at me and jiggles the chair next to her with her foot.

Okay, cool, good.

I grab a slice of pizza and then join them.

Ben commiserates with my recently flu ridden self and Angela gently teases me about the weight I've lost but despite their easy welcome I'm still hyped up.

Which just gets worse as the lunch period ticks by with no sign of the Whitlocks, maybe they just aren't in school today . . . .

...

"Sun." Angela groans, falling back against Ben and stretching her legs out.

"Only just." I gripe, it's so weak I don't see how it counts.

"You're spoilt Phoenix." Ben drawls.

"Yeah." I sigh, flopping down beside them. "The stories I could tell you about real sun tanning Ben, they'd blow your mind . . . ."

Angela laughs and kicks me with her foot.

"Enough Rose, he's a simple Forks boy, let's not give him any ideas."

"Hey! I have ideas." He growls, flipping her under him and tickling her mercilessly.

Ew. Time to go try out for track . . . .

Rosalie Hale. Highest, longest, fastest.

Such a shame the local weather is fairly sure to cut into our training time.

Oh well.

...

The next morning the rain is back and so are Em and his truck.

"Your chariot awaits." He says as I slam to a stop on the porch.

I'm not sure what the fuck is going on in my stomach but I don't like it.

"I have legs." I inform him.

"Yes." He laughs, cocky again. "I have noticed those."

"Then you will notice them carrying me to school." I drawl as I stalk past him.

...

Lunch, and the Whitlocks are back, apparently not remotely bothered that if looks could kill their brother would be twitching his last on the craptastic cafeteria floor.

I don't know what my problem is with him all of a sudden but I don't seem to be able to hide the fact that I have one.

His constant cocky smirk really isn't helping either, I've an almost irresistible urge to smack it right off his handsome face.

...

"Not volleyball again?" Bella enquires as she slips into her usual spot.

"No. I'm branching out too."

She raises an eyebrow and I turn back to my book. No way am I telling her that I got thrown out of class with a clump of Jessica Stanley's hair in my hand because she'd sweetly asked me if I'd broken up with Em.

No one is waiting for me when we get out of detention and I'm fine with that, the walk is good for my calf muscles.

I toss the note from Dad in the trash and make myself a 'leftover supreme', something I can pick at while I watch TV and pretend to do my homework.

...

Em's truck in is my driveway again the next morning and I throw him a wave as I stride past it.

...

And the next.

...

And the next.

...

Saturday.

I lie in, curled in my blankets with my laptop, gladly letting the internet suck out those brain cells.

Dad's at work so I eke it out till lunchtime when my stomach urges me downstairs for a bowl of cereal and ice cream.

Feeling noble I head back upstairs to gather up all the washing, dumping it on the landing so I can kick it downstairs when I'm ready, so what if I commentate on my performance while I'm doing it, entertainment should be taken where you find it. And so what if it takes me ages to sort the mess out afterwards, what the hell else am I going to do?

Good, two neat piles. Whites in the washer, colors and darks waiting to go in. What now?

I wander back into the kitchen, maybe I can find something absorbing to cook for dinner?

I chug down a glass of water while I peruse my very slim recipe card collection, the freezer is full of fish, surely I have something for that, if not I'm sure my very packed day could accommodate a trip to the store, as long as it's not raining.

I set my glass down to check out the window. It isn't. But Em's truck is parked in the driveway.

How long has he been out there and what the hell is his problem?

I wrench the door open, careless of my rumpled PJs and haystack hair.

He's leant against the side of his truck.

"Rose." He says, turning to greet me. "Looking lovely as always."

I brandish my middle finger at him, which makes him laugh.

"I was planning to head into PA this afternoon, I wondered if you wanted a lift?"

"There's a bus."

"Yeah." He chuckles. "_A_ bus. You missed it."

"I don't need to go into Port Angeles."

"Neither do I, that isn't the point."

I narrow my eyes at him and he stares back at me with a complete lack of embarrassment.

"Fine. I need half an hour."

"I'm okay right here." He responds.

Good because I am not inviting your ass into my house.

...

He cranks up the music as I climb into the truck and throws me that cocky grin as he backs out onto the asphalt but he doesn't appear to want to talk about anything which is fine by me.

School is a short trip from my place so this is the first time I've really seen him drive and he's fast, which I approve of, my Dad's so slow I can feel the wrinkles forming every time he takes me somewhere.

It's cold in here and I shiver, causing him to turn up the heating and point the center vents at me.

Mmm, that's more like it . . . .

I close my eyes and bask in the warm air and the beat of the music, tapping my toes, it's been so long since I've danced, I used to love to dance.

Port Angeles is once again packed, with tourists as well as those of us who have escaped Forks for the day.

We exit the truck and stand on the sidewalk looking at each other.

Awkward.

"So, Mr That Isn't The Point, what do we do now we're here?"

"Shop?" He suggests with a grin.

"What do you shop for?" I ask him, curious.

"Cars, car parts, electronics, video games, athletic equipment, camping gear, occasionally socks."

"You are _such_ a boy."

"Aw, Rose." He chuckles. "You noticed."

I swat at him but he dodges me easily and we set off with him telling me things I do not need to know about his new favourite video game. I have decided to suspend my misgivings about agreeing to this trip, my gnawing sensation that there's something I'm not seeing and my oddly sick stomach for the day and just go with the flow, there doesn't seem to be another way with Em anyway . . . .

We shopped for boy stuff, I watched him sniff colognes while I pretended to shop for makeup, anything to work out where his incredible scent comes from. We hit the arcade and he beat me at every single game we tried, which was annoying, and we ate a late lunch at a kitschy tourist place overlooking the water, which was, _nice_.

"What now?" He asks as we emerge into the last of the afternoon sun.

"We ought to get back." I sigh, watching the weak light on the water. "I have chores to do."

He laughs.

"Sorry rich boy, but some of us have to pick up after ourselves and cook our own dinner."

"Want to catch a movie before we go?" He asks, watching me carefully.

My stomach flips over.

I'm having fun, I don't really want this afternoon to end, not with two piles of dirty laundry to head back to, but this isn't a date, I can't date . . . .

My heart starts hammering in my chest and my breathing picks up.

"Rose." His gentle silky voice forces me to look at him. "You mentioned wanting to see this movie at lunch the other day, we're here, its playing, if you promise not be grossed out by the amount of junk food I'm going to consume while I watch it why don't you come see it with me?"

"Em, I . . . ."

"Its not a date Hale." He snorts, flashing his cocky grin at me. "Credit me with slightly more smooth moves than that."

He doesn't want to take me on a date?

I'm confused . . . . and a little _disappointed_.

Oh hell, I knew this stupid boy was trouble, why can't I just go with my instincts . . . .

"Look Rose." He says with a smile. "Its real simple, you put one foot in front of the other till we get to the movie theatre, you let me buy you a ticket and any sweet treat you fancy, you park your butt in a seat and we watch a movie. When the movie is over I'll drop you home and we can _both_ do our chores. Can you manage that?"

I scowl at him but he just keeps smiling, damn him.

"Okay. Fine. But I want ice cream."

"No problem."

Jeez, ungracious much there Rose?

...

Sunday we establish that Dad has been holding out on me and can actually cook edible food. He is not, however, able to iron anything other than his uniform.

On Monday I am neither surprised nor freaked out when Em picks me up for school, it honestly hadn't occurred to me that he wouldn't.

And I'll need to think about that.

I used to have a BFF, back in Phoenix.

She and I went everywhere and did everything together, for years.

We had fun, graduating from dolls and make believe to shopping and socialising in the same way all little girls would do. We discovered boys together, discussed them endlessly, learned their mysterious ways and learned not to take them too seriously so they wouldn't interfere with our fun.

One day I told her something, something that had been bothering me that I'd never told anyone else.

She hugged me, she cried with me and I thought, for a minute there, that everything would be okay.

But it wasn't.

She was the first person to let me down but she wasn't the last.

There's a reason I'm the way I am.

...

"Here we are again." Bella giggles as she joins me in detention.

"So it would seem."

"You okay?" She asks, studying me thoughtfully. "You seem even more, um . . . ."

"Bitchy than normal?"

"That's the thing." She laughs, apparently not remotely put off by it.

Seriously is there no end to the weirdness of these gold eyed Whitlocks?

I shake my head at her and then slump over the desk, might as well get some shut eye while I can.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Six The Living is Easy**

**RPOV**

Driving people away is a particular speciality of mine, since I don't especially care about anyone's feelings, not even mine.

I can't bring myself to do it to directly to Angela though, she's just too damn nice and she and Ben aren't really a threat to my well being anyway, as I predicted we aren't exactly besties, more like comfies.

Bella and Em are another matter though.

I've decided that I'd very much like them to fuck off and leave me alone.

It can't be that hard, they may be weird but they're still just people.

And no sane person hangs around for a heinous bitch.

...

First up, no more detention trysts, I'm going to be a good girl even if it kills me.

Next, no more rides to school.

"Em. I don't need a ride to school any more, thanks, though."

"O-kay." I hear him say as I swing away down the corridor.

Now, no more lunch table, big breakfasts and hanging out under the dripping bleachers with the pot heads. They aren't exactly pleased to have me join their group but then they aren't really coherent enough to do anything about it most lunch periods either.

And, stonewall . . . .

...

Was I disappointed when Em's truck wasn't in my driveway the next morning? Maybe?

Did I touch Jessica and Lauren when they wanted to know if Em and I had broken up again? No, though I may have started an ulcer that day. Bitches.

Is Biology as awkward as fuck? Hell yes.

Anyway, life goes on, the days and weeks crawling past . . . .

...

The school year is coming to a close and its only just dawned on me that I'm going to be spending the summer in Forks. Fed up does not do it justice, although it isn't as cold as it was it isn't any less wet. Still, I'm sure I'll find something to do to stop me going completely _insane_.

Mom invited me to spend a couple of weeks in Phoenix and after careful consideration I declined. I didn't want to leave but now I have I'd rather not go back.

Dick sent me plane tickets and Mom got Dad to tell me I was going.

I declined.

...

"They didn't want me to live with them, fine, I don't want to visit them."

"_Rose_." Dad pleads. "She's your mother."

"Then she can come see me here."

"How about just a long weekend?"

"No."

"You know Rose, it must be hard when a parent remarries but honey, don't cut off your nose to spite your face."

"Platitudes Dad?"

"Its not a platitude Rose, its an idiom."

I fold my arms over my chest.

"I won't make you go, even though your poor stepfather has paid for the plane tickets, but I want you to think about it, you only get one family Rose."

...

Mom actually rang me to berate me for wasting Dick's money, which was great because I'd pretty much forgotten what her voice sounded like.

Dick's calls went straight to voicemail and the joy of delete.

And with all of that rumbling on in the background the High School year squeaked to a close.

Angela and Ben strong armed me into going to a couple of parties with them, which I didn't exactly _not_ enjoy and then it was over. Not even a vacation with Dad to look forward to since he's short staffed and can't afford the time off.

I'm gonna go bat shit crazy . . . .

...

Turns out the Olympic Penninsula is awash with tourists over the summer and even Forks gets in on the action, I managed to find work, the goal, a car of my own.

Working most days, hanging out down at La Push while Dad and Billy fish, riding motorcycles, running around PA with Angela and Ben, hiking, somehow I get through the summer and before I know it its time to go back to school.

I have no real feelings about it either way, its a step closer to getting out of here I guess.

I've barely laid eyes on the Whitlocks all summer but for someone reason the world and his wife have been more than keen to keep informed about them. Esme, Carlisle and Edward are taking a year out before college so they can all go together, makes sense for a family that does everything together and is as rich as Croesus I suppose. Em has a girlfriend, some willowy blonde who looks like a supermodel, considering she was only glimpsed twice by the entire town they sure had a lot to tell me about her.

Mom threatened to visit a couple of times but never followed through.

Someone actually likes me, Mrs Reynolds, so I still have a part time job at the hardware store even though the 'season' is over and only the locals will be in looking for bait and tackle. Mrs Reynolds is about two hundred years old and can be more than a little strange, but she's determined not to let Mike Newton Sr buy her out so she's okay in my book.

...

"It's not much Rose." Dad warns me as we swing into La Push.

"If it has wheels and its in budget its good enough for me." I inform him.

We pull up in front of Billy's and Jake rushes out, grinning from ear to ear to give me a fist bump, he's so cute and adorably dorky you can't help but like him.

"Ready to see your new car?"

"Potential, new car." I correct.

"Come on Rose." He whines. "This will be my first sale, have a little heart."

Dad snorts and I glower at him.

We round the side of the house and there it is, scrap metal with wheels on.

I swallow.

"Does it run?"

Jake leaps in and starts it up.

It sounds okay.

"And you'll fix it for nothing, parts and labor, every time I have a problem with it between now and graduation?"

"Damn Rose, you're hard." Billy laughs from the wrap around porch.

Jake cuts the engine.

"Yes Rose, yes, yes, yes. You'll be my first official customer."

"She ain't a customer if she ain't paying." Dad observes and I elbow him in the midriff.

I hand over my hard earned dollars and am rewarded with the broadest whitest smile I've ever seen.

Sucker, that thing's gonna be a millstone round his neck till graduation.

...

It feels great to drive myself to school in my own car, it doesn't matter that I wouldn't have been seen dead in it twelve months ago, Dave is awesome, Dave is freedom.

Angela and Ben are waiting for me in the parking lot.

"Ready to get it done?" She asks.

"As I'll ever be."

...

I didn't see him till lunch and the sickness in my stomach when I did was enough to convince me that I'd done the right thing.

He's just as gorgeous and just as dangerous.

He smiles at me but he and Bella make no attempt to sit with us, thank god.

I hope he isn't in any of my classes this year but I warm a bit toward Ma and Pa Whitlock, at least they don't seem to have adopted his supermodel girlfriend, that would have sucked.

...

The week flies by fast enough.

I've managed to make sure I'm just as unpopular as last year with the people who count and Dave hasn't let me down once.

I pat his battered dash affectionately, Jake's idea of restoring a car is all about the boy stuff that makes it go, he hasn't even filled any of the holes in the body work, Mrs R says she has just the thing for that though, before it gets good and rainy round here again.

There's a shiny new car in our driveway and I chuckle to myself as I make my way into the house, expecting to have to rescue Dad from some over eager salesman.

"Baby!" Mom squeals, launching herself at me. "We've missed you, Rich managed to get away for the weekend so here we are!"

Oh fuck no . . . .


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Seven There**

**RPOV**

I lived with them, him, for quite a while. It wasn't great but I had my coping strategies, I knew what I was dealing with. But he's here, in Forks, and that's just so wrong somehow I don't even know how to process it.

"Irina, please." Dad huffs. "Give the child some air."

"Phil, I haven't seen her for months."

Dad levels the look at her and she lets me go, they aren't related, she isn't immune.

Oh my god, oh my god.

Dick emerges from behind Dad and opens his arms for a hug.

You have got to be _fucking_ kidding me.

Twelve months ago I would have gritted my teeth and endured it . . . . because he'd have made me pay if I hadn't . . . . but now . . . . I _can't_ . . . .

I snarl and Dick narrows his eyes at me.

"So." Dad says into the ensuing awkward silence, clapping his hands together loudly for good measure. "Pizza?"

...

Dad and I go to collect it, he lets me drive.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Humph." He observes.

"They're, um, not, um, staying with us are they?"

"Hell no." Dad snorts.

Okay. Okay. Good. I can eat pizza, I'm starving, how bad can it be . . . .

...

Not so bad, my bladder will never be the same again but no way was I leaving whatever room Dad was in, not even to lock myself in the john.

Tomorrow Mom and Dick want me to show them PA.

Fuck.

...

I punch my pillow for the hundredth time but there's no way I'm gonna sleep.

Fuck.

I can do this.

I don't have a lot of choice.

They're staying in PA. I can drive there tomorrow after work. Survive and come home after dinner. They're flying home Sunday morning, I won't have to go back, I'm working again.

Fuck.

I need something to help me sleep . . . .

...

There are some obvious drawbacks to a communal stash that haven't occurred to the local pot heads.

Whatever.

I skin up and lean back on the bleachers to smoke, swigging from the unbranded bourbon I stole from Dad.

I can do this. I can do anything. I can do this.

Gradually I calm down, so much so I don't even jump when he speaks behind me.

"You know it's dangerous to be out on your own this late at night."

I laugh because really, it could be a lot worse.

"What are you Em? My guardian angel?"

"Maybe."

"I don't need one."

"Sure you do, everyone does."

"Maybe I don't deserve one."

"What makes you think you get to decide that?" He chuckles.

"Whatever."

Silence.

"What are you doing out here?"

I wave my joint around, it's obvious really.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"But you haven't."

"Fine, Em. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night, a clean cut young man like you?"

"Hunting."

I giggle, there's something funny about the idea of him standing on the bleachers wearing a deer stalker and carrying a rifle. Or wait, is that Sherlock Holmes? Whitlock Holmes. Fuck, am I that trashed already, I am _seriously_ out of practise . . . .

"I punched him, do you know that? Knocked him right on his saggy ass. Didn't do any favours to this teeth either. Dick."

He hums quietly.

"Mom wasn't pleased, they were going to some shindig thingy, with a photographer, spoilt his beautiful face. Bad Rose."

I sigh.

"Should have punched him a lot sooner. Really bad Rose."

"Permission to touch you?"

"Why, you wanna feel me up too Whitlock? Go right ahead. Come one come all, I'm a slut."

"Who told you that?"

"Mom."

Silence.

See, Mom knows best.

I shudder as he sits in the row behind me, his knees resting lightly outside my hips.

But I'm too stoned to care.

Besides, it doesn't really matter, does it?

I only have to get through tomorrow and then they'll be gone.

I take another toke on both my poisons, determined to ignore the self pitying tears that are leaking out of my eyes.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I did research. I know.

Nothing to complain about here . . . .

"I'm tired." I complain.

"You're stoned."

"That too." I nod judiciously. "Mom and Dick won't be surprised. Dad'll have a shit fit. Poor Dad. He's got no idea why I'm such a monumental pain in his ass."

"Don't under estimate him, he loves you." Em murmurs, taking my joint and pinching it out between his fingers. "Come on dopey, I'll take you home."

"Can't walk."

"I've carried your fat ass before Hale, I'll manage."

"Can't leave Dave."

"Who the fuck is Dave?"

Comfy, I'll tell him when I wake up.

"Is. Reliable. Dave. Can't take Dave to dinner with Mom and King Dick tomorrow night have to manage on my own . . . ."

...

I wake up the next morning, fully dressed, in my bed, window wide open and in desperate need of a couple of gallons of water.

The night before gradually comes back to me.

Shit.

On a stick.

Mrs R has no sympathy for my pathetic state, the federal authorities have apparently been 'hassling her ass' I'm guessing that means she'll have another innocuous form for me to fill out for her at some point.

Right now I just have to focus on getting through the rest of today.

...

Em enters the store just as I'm getting ready to leave.

Fuck.

I can't remember exactly what I said to him last night but I'm pretty sure I don't need to.

I spilled and I'm gonna pay for it.

I sigh as his stands in the doorway, blocking out most of the light with his large body.

I don't suppose there's any point asking him not to tell anyone, been down that road before and look how well that turned out. Fuck, half the town probably knows already. I can deal with that. I will have to deal with that. But anything known by more than two people in this town gets back to Dad. And that I'm not sure I can deal with.

The best defence is offence I guess.

"What are you doing here?" I snarl.

"I came to see you." He answers matter of factly.

"Well you've seen me." I toss back, shrugging into my coat.

"I came to talk to you."

"Done that too now, I need to leave."

"I'm not stopping you."

No, he's not, but I will have to squeeze past him to get to the door.

Alright, might as well get used to that too, if last time is anything to go by I'm gonna be brushing off assholes left right and center.

He doesn't move out of my way but he doesn't crowd me either.

Okay, good.

I gulp down fresh air as I rush to Dave.

I can't worry about the rest of it now. One disaster at a time . . . .

I open the door and then yelp as a long arm appears from nowhere and pushes it closed again, hard enough to rock Dave on his wheels.

Whirling I'm ready to let rip but Em is so close to me, without touching me, that my mouth closes with a snap.

He studies me for a moment, his gold eyes intense and then steps back, giving me the room to run, or open the door again, or haul off and smack him one.

"Are you alright?" He asks.

"No."

"Can I do anything to help?"

Yes, don't tell anyone what a fuck up I am.

"No."

"You're driving to Port Angeles. To have dinner with your . . . ." He shakes his head, looking annoyed. " . . . . _relatives_."

"How do you know that?"

"Last night."

"Look Em, about last night, thanks for taking me home, but, um, you don't need to worry about whatever it was I said, I was fucked up and I'm a total drama queen. I'm sure I embarrassed myself really badly, so, if you could just laugh at my stupid ass and forget it ever happened, that would be great."

"No."

I gape at him, my stomach revolving slowly, there's no cocky smirking Em here now, not the type of boy that would tell everyone so they can all laugh at what a loser I am. His eyes intense eyes are flashing with something like danger but I don't know who or what to, only that he has many different kinds of physical beauty, the ones that make me want to be mush and the ones that make me think I, or someone, is in mortal danger.

"No. I will not forget." His voice is deeper, darker, making the skin on the back of my neck prickle under my hair.

I shiver, afraid.

And he closes his eyes for a moment, frowning.

When he opens them again he's less scary but still not much like the cocky clown who used to take me to school.

"I'm sorry." He says, sounding tired. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." I snap and the corner of his mouth twitches slightly, like he knows I'm lying.

"I want to help you."

I want to laugh but this whole encounter is so tense all I can manage is a strangled squeak.

He just looks at me.

"Alright." I snap. "Just how exactly are you planning to help me?"

"I thought you might like to introduce your _Mom_ and . . . ." He hesitates distastefully. "Dick, to your boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"They don't know that."

"Why?"

"I don't think it would hurt Dick to meet me, do you?"

I shake my head. Scary Em is just the sort of person I'd love to introduce Dick to. It was always a pointless daydream of mine. Dick, bane of my life, meet the person who cares enough about me to beat you to a pulp if you ever so much as look at me funny again. Trouble was there wasn't anyone, not really even me.

"No, Em, um, why?"

He smiles for the first time, not a scary smile or a cocky one, just him, smiling.

"How about we get through tonight and I tell you that tomorrow?"

"It's dangerous to let people help me."

"Why?" He laughs quietly. "Is Dick going to pull a gun on me?"

"No. Dangerous for me."

"Why?"

"Because there won't be anyone there the next time I need help."

"Rose." He sighs.

"Look Em, I'm kinda like I am for a reason. It works for me. I'm not looking to fix what isn't broken."

He sighs again and I can't decipher the look on his face but I can feel my anger spiking because I want to _try_.

"Alright Rose, I can respect your wishes if not your reasoning."

I start to relax.

"So how about a deal?"

"A deal?"

"I'll take you to dinner with Mom and Dick. Tomorrow I will explain to you why I want to do that. And then, if you don't like any of it, I promise I will never speak to you again."

"God you're irritating." I breathe, unable to believe what's happening.

And the cocky, sexy, smirk is back.

"Come on Rose, you're nothing if not brave enough to take on a challenge."

...

"You look beautiful." My dutiful boyfriend observes as he joins me on the sidewalk.

I curl my lip at him.

Since his truck beats Dave hands down I had time to go home and glam up a bit. It's true, for me at least, that looking my best gives me confidence, how he knew to suggest that I don't know.

"Permission to touch you?" He asks.

"What for?" I growl, backing up a step.

He smiles and holds his hand toward me, palm up.

"Everyone else is doing it." He observes. "Might look a bit funny if we don't at least hold hands, couple that we are."

"I swear to god if you try anything else I will _castrate_ you."

"I promise, hand holding only."

How the hell did I get myself into _this_ mess?

I take a deep breath and let my hand fall into his and he slowly twines our fingers together so my hand is completely engulfed in his.

It's not so bad, cold though.

"You're hand is freezing." I complain.

"Cold hands, warm heart." He shrugs as we make our way toward the hotel.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Eight Ladies and Gentleman, Emmett Whitlock**

**RPOV**

Mom and Dick were waiting in the lobby.

I hadn't told her that I had a boyfriend, never mind that he was coming to dinner so her eyes went wide when she saw us holding hands.

Dick's went narrow.

I daren't look at Em.

Or move.

Em tugs me forward.

"Mrs King, Mr King. How lovely to meet you both."

He extends his hand to Mom who takes it looking a little dazed and then to Dick who takes it and manages to look supercilious right up until the point Em squeezes, then his expression turns wince.

Nice. He has got very big, very hard hands, hasn't he Dick?

"Mom, this is Emmett, Whitlock, my boyfriend, he wanted to come and meet you tonight."

Yeah, I don't address Dick if I can help it, Mom's not gonna be surprised, it was one of the things we were always fighting about toward the end.

"Well, Emmett." Mom laughs uncertainly. "We certainly weren't expecting _you_."

"Nobody expects me Mrs King." Em chuckles. "I'm special like that."

"Well." Dick huffs. "I only booked a table for three but I'll see if they can manage something for us, this is a very select and expensive restaurant."

Oh Dick. You are _such_ a dick.

"I'm sure they will." Em agrees easily. "My parents love it here, they come all the time, my mother and Chef Maurice are always swapping recipes."

"Your parents?" Mom asks with no guile whatsoever as we follow Dick's rigid back over to the maître d'.

"My father is Chief of Medicine at the hospital and my mother is a designer, you may have seen some of her work, in New York? Alice Brandon is the name she designs under."

"_Goodness_." Mom mutters and I stifle another laugh.

Mom is a wannabe snob and anything really impressive always throws her back to her red neck roots. Even I've heard of Alice Brandon and it wouldn't surprise me to find out she _was_ Em's Mom.

Mom starts asking me about school and friends and Em gives my hand a squeeze before moving closer to Dick, practically breathing down his neck.

Dick shivers.

Not nice is it, when someone bigger than you gets all up in your space?

"So." Em says loudly, slapping a big hand down on Dick's shoulder. "Rose tells me you drive a Porsche?"

I didn't, did I?

"Poor man's Ferrari, how's that working out for you?" Em continues.

"He's very handsome." Mom murmurs into my ear, reminding me she's there and making me jump. "But then you always did have a good eye."

Her own eyes dart to Dick and my burgeoning warm feeling toward her evaporates immediately.

When it all blew up Mom chose to believe that her seventeen year old daughter had been putting the moves on her man. The only thing I can say in her defence is that if he's nothing else Dick is a master manipulator. It probably says more about my shortcomings as a daughter that in my heart of hearts I don't think that's much of a fucking defence.

As if sensing the change in my mood Em abandons his Dick baiting and moves back to me, taking my hand slowly and carefully, just like he did outside.

And it's okay, I can do this, I can let him help me a bit, just for tonight.

...

Dinner was awkward, even Mom wasn't stupid enough not to notice that Em _really_ didn't like Dick.

But it could have been worse, he was so focussed on getting one over the cocky kid he had no attention to spare for me. No _looks_, no invading my personal space whenever he got the chance, no _touching_, no hissed words of vilification when Mom wasn't close enough to hear.

In fact I wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that the man who'd made the last few years of my life hell suddenly didn't even seem to know I existed.

Relieved, I guess?

Em and Dick toyed with each other and Mom and I at least managed to have some semblance of a normal conversation. It's difficult to explain how you can love someone and at the same time want them crying at your feet, begging forgiveness for a crime you no longer care they committed.

At the beginning of the meal Mom had made noises about an after dinner stroll down the boardwalk but by the end I think she was as relieved as I was that it was over and we could part ways.

Em shook their hands again.

Mom hugged me.

And the _real_ Dick came back, moving in for his before I had a chance to dodge him.

I cowered but it never came and when I opened my eyes Em's arm was across Dick's chest, his face lowered to be right in Dick's.

"I am so _sorry_." Em murmurs. "I have absolutely _tragic_ possessiveness issues. Like a fucking caveman. It's probably for the best if you don't do that again, _ever_, whether I'm present or not."

Mom, Dick and I are all looking at Em's face and I'm not sure I can find a word for the expression on it. Murderous or threatening really wouldn't do it justice.

It makes me shiver and I choose to think a little bit of pee may have escaped Dick's dick to drip down his violently shaking leg.

Anyway, it killed the fatally injured evening stone dead and Em carefully took my hand again, leading me outside.

"Stroll?" He asks and I nod, I could really do with some fresh air.

...

The drive back to Forks is silent but not uncomfortable and when he drops me home I linger in the truck for a moment, summoning the courage to look him directly in the eye.

"Thank you." I whisper.

He nods, still looking a little serious and I slide out of the truck, more than happy to forget about the rest of our deal so that things can get back to normal.

"Are you working tomorrow?" He asks before I shut the door.

I nod.

"See you after work then Rose." He says with an almost apologetic smile. "And thank _you_."

I close the door and hurry inside.

"Fuck." I groan, shutting the door and letting my head bang against it. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"That good huh?" Dad asks, appearing from the kitchen with a beer in his hand and one for me.

I take it gratefully, guiltily wondering how long it will take him to notice that I stole his booze.

"Your Mom's been on already, demanding to know why I didn't tell her you had a boyfriend and why you have a boyfriend whose mission in life is to scare the shit out of Rich's saggy ass."

"Um?"

"Never mind Rose." He sighs, flicking my drinking elbow lightly. "Not tonight, let's go see what's weird on TV."

...

I slept like a log and woke up looking like one.

Em's turning up at some point this afternoon is as inevitable as the sun going down some time after, that much I am confident of about him.

My brain tells me to head down to La Push after work and take Dad up on his long standing fishing invitation but something else has me driving home to pace the house like a caged lion.

I know I should play it coy and not let him see that I was waiting for him but when his truck swings into the drive I automatically yank the door open to greet him.

His smile, another new variant of it, is a bit shy as he climbs the porch steps easily.

He really is take your breath away gorgeous.

Short dark hair, just on the edge of curling. For a big guy the planes of his face are sharp and angular, chiselled is the word I think. His lips are full and perfectly formed. And the rest of him is just . . . . broad shoulders, narrow hips, muscles hinted at but never exposed.

Oh for the love of god Rose, snap out of it.

I stand back to let him in, gesturing him round to the kitchen with a scowl.

"Sit down." I suggest and he folds himself gracefully onto one of our craptastic wobbly chairs.

I lean against the counter and fold my arms.

No way am I making whatever this is easy for him.

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you?" He observes.

My snort confirms that and he smirks, cocky again.

"Fine Rosalie Hale. I can do hard. I have always been a little bit different, nothing much in common with the people I go to school with. You probably know how that feels?"

"I'm not different, I'm just the biggest bitch."

"It sets you apart though, doesn't it? Being that _honest_."

"There's nothing honest about why I'm a bitch."

"There is if _you_ know why. Most people can't even see their failings, never mind understand why they have them." He says quietly, his mesmerising gold eyes daring me to argue.

So I shrug instead, which makes him laugh.

"Do you know how many girls have come onto me in my lifetime?" He asks.

No, and I don't want to you egotistical shit.

"Quite a few."

Another shrug from me, this one of the sarcastic variety.

"Do you know how many I've dated?"

Eyebrow.

"None."

"Pfft."

"None."

"Do you know how many I've hooked up with?"

"Here's a quarter." I growl, finessing one off the counter so I can brandish it at him like a finger. "Go call someone who gives a fuck."

"One. Do you want to know why?"

"Did she have big tits?"

"No, they were like fried eggs actually."

"You are such a boy."

"Yes I am. But I'm not a boy that's prone to flinging his woo."

Woo? What the fuck is woo?

"I don't date and I don't hook up because I'm picky."

"Go you." I drawl, getting that horrible sick feeling in my stomach again.

"I'm waiting for that special someone."

"I take it you're hiding your purity ring from the girls at school?"

"Oh Rose, I'm no virgin, believe me."

Oh I do, and damn, that's hot.

"I like you Rose. You're an incredibly beautiful woman, it infuriates my inner caveman every time those boys at school drool over you. And I've come to care about you. My inner caveman badly wanted to use his club on Dick's soft little skull. You're smart, you're funny, you're brave and you're strong. I admire you. I want you to be mine."

My breathing hitches, then my mouth opens and closes, my palms get sweaty and my stomach tries to evacuate the danger zone.

Mine.

There was an edge to the way he said that.

Panic. I can feel it creeping up on me, and not very stealthily.

"Breathe Rose." He urges quietly, the soft caress of his tone calming me despite myself. "I want to take care of you. I want to be able to ensure that no one can ever hurt you again, do my best to make you happy. I want to be there the next time you need help, if I couldn't have done anything to stop you needing it in the first place. I want a lot of things with you Rose, that I know I shouldn't. But it gets harder and harder every day for me to stay away from you. What I want most from you, right now, is a chance. A chance to prove that the way you see the world doesn't have to be right."

"Are you fucking insane?" I hiss. "You want me to be your _girlfriend_? Have you fucking met me recently? I can't do that. I can't kiss you, I can't cuddle you, I can't even be nice to you. I'm fucking useless. Ruined."

He surges out of the chair, growling, and I try to scale the cupboards onto the counter to get away from him, my heels scrabbling uselessly against the wood.

"You. Are. Not. Ruined!" He roars. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You know." I challenge him, acknowledging the truth in a way I didn't know I was capable of.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, gazing into my eyes for a moment before taking himself back to his chair. "I'm sorry for scaring you again. But not for telling you what I want."

"I can't be your girlfriend Em." I mumble brokenly. "I can't be anybody's girlfriend. And I'm sorry too."

Stupid fat tears are sliding down my face and with a groan Em approaches me again, cautiously lifting his thumbs to wipe them gently from my cheeks, being careful to remove his hands as quickly as possible.

"What if I can't really do those things either?" He asks, not quite pulling out of my personal space. "What if I can't kiss _you_ or hold _you_ the way I'd like too? What if I have my own demons to wrestle?"

I sigh, I don't want to be the bitch right now but I've crafted my armour well.

"Em, go find some other charity case to patronise."

I scrub my hands over my face, the tears don't seem to want to let up.

"I patronise a lot of charities Rose. Whales. Rainforests. Starving kids. Snow leopards. I'm an equal opportunities patroniser. I don't want to give you money or run in a stupid costume in your name. I just want you to be my girlfriend and work shit out with me."

"You're killing me Whitlock."

"No, I'm not." He says, slowly and carefully twining our hands together again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Nine Loves to Dance**

**RPOV**

This, is ridiculous.

I only agreed to try, mainly because I couldn't see another way to get him out of my kitchen before Dad came home. He's a stubborn boy who _thinks_ he has an answer for everything.

He's picking me up for school and I'm so nervous and so sick I can't see straight.

I trust him, I think, not to do anything that will freak me out so that isn't my problem.

I like him and I have done for quite a while. While he's patient and kind I'll probably get to like him even more. What happens then, when he gets tired of having a dud for a girlfriend?

What he calls brave I call stupid.

...

Yeah, bitches, we're back and this time we really are together.

"I hope you're satisfied." Bella growls at me as we cross the parking lot to join her. "I had to drive myself in this morning."

"A BMW, such a hardship." I drawl.

"I know. All that luxury, all for me, I'll learn to cope I guess."

"So." Bella giggles. "You're Em's girlfriend? It's nice to meet you, I'm his long suffering sister. Please feel free to let me know when he pisses you off and I'll happily rip off his man parts and hide them."

"Okay." I promise and Em groans.

Bella links her arm with mine and we turn toward the school with Em following behind.

"So." She says conversationally. "I had previously admired your poise and taste, was there a head injury recently I wasn't aware of, that's brought you to this low in the world of dating?"

"_Bella_." Em growls as I snicker.

"Oh shut up." She laughs. "I've been waiting a long time for this, let me have some fun . . . ."

...

Despite my trepidation it really isn't so bad.

He picks me up for school and drops me home.

He and Bella sit with Angela, Ben and I at lunch.

The only real difference is that we actually talk to each other now which we didn't really do before.

I'm learning about him and he's learning about me, what there is to know.

He hasn't even held my hand.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. I appreciate the thought behind it, absolutely I do. But I hate the fact that there has to be one and rather than making me feel better its actually making me feel worse.

...

I had to invite him round on Saturday after work, Dad's inner caveman insisted.

They seemed to get on okay, another new Em fact, he can be an extremely charming suck up when he wants to be.

And Dad's gun cleaning demonstration backfired, Em helped.

Anyway I guess that makes it official, I, Rosalie Hale, have a boyfriend.

...

I'm not an unobservant person, I can be self absorbed, but I'm not blind and I'm not stupid.

Maybe it just takes me a long time to join up all the dots.

Em is gay.

There may be some holes in my thinking, in fact I'm sure there are, but it all adds up.

He's better dressed and better groomed than anyone else in Forks that isn't a part of his family and obviously, through he plays no sports at school, takes extremely good care of his body. He's also very careful what he eats, to the point that I've rarely seen him eat anything and certainly not anything that wouldn't be considered conspicuously healthy. His best friend appears to be his sister, I'm an only child but even I know that's not normal, not even if you factor in adoption. He acknowledges that I'm a beautiful woman but doesn't seem to be particularly bothered by it beyond appreciating the way I look, and I can always tells when he's appreciating the way I look, but there is never anything lusty about it. He says he's not bothered about my _tactile_ issues as a girlfriend and I don't know how many single straight guys would go with the family plan to wear gold contact lenses, I mean, it's just not that manly, is it? No matter how attractive his eyes look . . . .

I'm not sure how to feel about all that.

Pleased? Insulted? Cautiously optimistic? Not bothered?

Having a boyfriend through the rest of my time in Forks would be extremely useful, and as loser repellents go I think Em is more effective than I am. He's not going to want to do anything with me that I can't do and he's not going to get frustrated when I can't get passed hand holding and sitting next to him with part of our bodies actually touching.

Don't get me wrong, it's something to be regretted that a prime specimen like Em is lost to the female species but it's not a loss I'm going to be mourning, so that's okay, right?

And, as much as it makes me nervous, I like him. We might just end up being friends. Surely that's not so bad? It doesn't mean I have to rely on him for anything or tell him anything I don't want to. Or that I have to let him so far in losing him for any reason breaks me a bit more when he's gone. And even if we don't fall out he will be gone one day, I doubt rich boy Whitlock will be applying to any of the colleges I'm considering.

In the meantime, my life, the way it is, it's okay.

...

"You and Whitlock, huh?" Mike asks as we enter English together.

He's broken up with Jessica and is speaking to me again.

A tragedy of epic proportions.

"So it would seem."

"I don't like it." He says, looming over me as I take my seat. "There's something not quite right about him."

"Well Mike, it doesn't really matter what you like does it? Since its Em I'm dating and not you."

"Move it along Newton." Ben huffs, shoving past him to get to the seat next to mine.

Mike's leaning so far over me he almost falls into my lap but Bella catches him, fisting her dainty little hand in the back of his jacket and setting him back on his feet.

"Fuck off Newton." She growls. "Or I'll tell Mommy where your porn stash is."

"You know that?" I ask as Mike strides away, gathering the tatters of his dignity.

"No." She says with a shudder. "But how hard could it be to guess? The boy's lucky if he's got two actual brain cells to rub together."

"He's a straight A student." I point out as she settles herself into the seat behind me.

"He's a straight A something." Bella drawls, eliciting a laugh from Ben.

...

"Why are we doing this?" I ask as Em joins me on the sidewalk and twines our hands gently together.

"I believe as your boyfriend I am supposed to take you out on a date every once in a while."

"Maybe." I concede. "But I thought we'd established that a movie and some epic junk food are eminently suitable for such a purpose."

"And I thought you said you liked dancing."

"I do."

"Then let's go dancing."

"If we get busted Dad will incarcerate you in his dingiest cell and brick my bedroom door up."

"You doubt Edward's prowess with fake IDs?" He chuckles and I glance across at the man in question who raises an eyebrow at me.

Bella laughs.

"Its okay Rose, Edward's something of an expert and you've been to a club before, right?"

I nod. I have and Em is aware that there was one particular club, Breaking Dawn, I used to go to on the nights when I told Mom and Dick I was staying at a friend's. They didn't know I didn't have any by that point. I love to dance so it was a case of killing two birds with one stone.

Somehow we skip the queue and my toes start tapping the minute the beat starts pulsing through my body.

"We'll get a table." Bella yells as Em tugs me onto the dance floor.

I've danced with a guy before, as long as he's kept his distance, so it's an incredibly easy thing to take the floor with Em. Who is every bit as good a dancer as I would have expected him to be, it's so easy for me to lose track of everything and lose myself in the music, as if I instinctively know I have nothing to fear with him here . . . .

Eventually, regretfully, I tire and need a break and Em, who is clearly fit in more than one sense of the word guides me unerringly to the table Bella and Edward have snagged.

"What is it?" I ask as she shoves at bright green drink at me.

"God knows." She laughs. "But its non-alcoholic and apparently full of caffeine."

"Works for me." I shrug, taking a tentative sip.

Mmm. Delicious.

Em rests his arm along the back of our seat but the fact that it's almost brushing my shoulders doesn't seem to matter as we chat about the other patrons in the club.

Before long my drink is finished and my feet are dancing under the table.

"More?" Em asks with that cocky grin and I grin back, grabbing his hand to pull him out of the seat with me.

...

I know my body is getting tired but I'm not ready to let go of tonight just yet and so I keep going, it doesn't even seem to matter that Em's in my personal space now, he's only helping to make sure I stay upright and it doesn't matter either that whenever our eyes meet I flash a smile of pure elation at him. I like him and its okay for him to know I'm happy right now, besides I kind of like the smile I get back.

Eventually the music slows and so do I.

And it doesn't seem that big a deal that my head is resting against Em's cool hard chest as we sway, our hands casually entwined at our sides.

"You ready to go?" He murmurs eventually.

"I guess." I sigh.

"We can always dance again Rose." He chuckles. "This isn't The Restaurant at the End of the Universe."

"You're mis-quoting Adams." I inform him easily. "The whole point of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe was that it was always there, with a table always available."

"Yeah, sorry." He chuckles, not sounding it. "Always there. That's the important bit."

...

"You got my girl drunk?" Dad growls as Em helps me into the house.

"No Sir. I wore her out."

"What the . . . ."

"Dancing Sir, dancing." Em protests, helping me onto the couch. "She loves to dance."

"She always did son." Dad sighs. "Now get the fuck out of my house at 2am on a Sunday morning."

"I'm gone Chief Hale."

"Dancing huh?" Dad asks as the door clicks shut behind Em.

"Yeah." I sigh, sitting up and easing my heels off. "I'm out of practise."

"Where the hell did you kids find to dance till this hour of the morning?"

I level the look at him and he sighs.

"Fine. I don't need to know. It's not like I can smell drink on either of you."

"Why are you even still up?" I ask, flopping back against the cushions.

"I'm your Dad Rose. What the hell else would I be doing? I was happier when you were pickier."

"I'm still picky." I confess.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Dad humphs. "Get to bed, I'm not your age, I need sleep to function."

"Okay." I groan, rolling off the couch. "Thanks Dad, night."

"Night baby."


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Ten Coupling**

**RPOV**

Em Whitlock is the perfect boyfriend and, though he hides it well, must be as camp as row of tents.

He is attentive to my every need, sometimes before I know I have one, seriously he sent Bella to get me Tampax before I even realised my customary bitchiness had strayed into savage beast territory. What normal boy does that? He didn't make me a mix tape though so he's still way cooler than any straight one I've ever met.

It really is a shame . . . .

I'm much more relaxed around him now and even managed to sit on his lap at lunch the other day, albeit very briefly, how normal am I?

Of course I'm familiar with the concept of wanting what you can't have so I'm not even overly freaked out about my current obsession with wondering what he'd be like to kiss, my girly parts are obviously not completely malfunctioning . . . .

...

Since we're officially dating I don't see a problem when Bella and Em invite me over at the weekend to hang out and 'study'. Besides, I'm as nosey about their house as every other kid in town . . . .

Dave and I have barely pulled up at the end of the immaculately raked driveway when Em bounds out of the house wearing a mahoosive grin and an achingly hip ensemble that screams 'my girlfriend's coming over so Mom supervised when I got ready'. Or at least it would if I didn't know he was batting for the other team.

Bella is hot on his heels, overtaking him on the gravel and yanking poor Dave's door open with undue force.

"Finally!" She huffs, practically dragging me from the car. "Em's been wearing a groove in Alice's ultra chic wood floor. You'll have to meet the 'Mom' but then we can chill out, the other grownups in the house, Es and Carlisle have gone to Seattle for the day."

I want to ask about Edward, who always makes me uncomfortable, but I daren't.

"Es?" I ask instead.

"Yes." She giggles, hauling me into the house with Em bringing up the rear. "She's lovely but she's got real problems letting her hair down so we've shortened her name to see if it'll lighten her up."

"There is nothing wrong with your sister or her hair." A light voice trills and I stop short.

Alice Whitlock is quite a sight close up and out of her overcoat.

Small but perfectly formed she's like a little sprite, the energy of her almost makes the air crackle, no wonder she doesn't see the need for them to drink coffee. Beautiful with searingly trendy spiked hair and the most incredible dress sense I've ever seen on a real life person. I bet she _is_ that designer. The dress is short and loosely form fitting with a yellow, white and black pattern of bold geometric shapes, black tights and tiny black pixie boots complete the look.

"You must be Rose?" She asks rhetorically and I think for a moment she's going to hug me but she settles for grasping my hand in her cool one and pumping it enthusiastically. "I'm Alice, Bella and Em have told me _so_ much about you, it's _wonderful_ to be able to meet you at last!"

"Um." I manage, not exactly covering myself in glory and Em laughs at my lack of social skills.

I flash him one of my nastiest scowls, without thinking, and Alice and Bella start laughing.

"Oh Em." Alice chuckles. "I think you may have met your match."

"M-om." He objects, sounding more like a teenager than he ever has before.

"Dinner will be ready at six, don't fill up on junk beforehand."

"Um, Dad's probably expecting me back before that . . . ." I begin.

"No he isn't." Alice trills. "I've already spoken to him, he's not expecting you back till ten."

"Oh, um, great?"

All three of them laugh at my awkward ass and then it's over and Bella, who is, incredibly, as hard as Em, is dragging me into the family room. The must have one hell of a home gym in here somewhere . . . .

...

We have an awesome afternoon, playing video games, trash talking to each other and gorging on salty snacks.

I didn't win a single game of anything but despite my competitive nature it didn't bother me. It was _fun_ . . . .

We even managed to discuss our homework, we didn't do any though.

Alice called us for dinner when Esme and Carlisle got back, Edward and Doctor Whitlock appeared too, though I'd no idea they'd been in the house all afternoon.

I'm used to awkward dinners en famile but this one is providing more material than I would ever have imagined.

For a start, Alice, who gives off the vibe of being good at everything she does and apparently swaps recipes with Chef Maurice is a seriously lousy cook. The pasta was al dente enough to be practically raw and the sauce was too hot to eat in one spoonful and cold enough to have come straight from the freezer in another. I don't know what she did with the garlic bread but only the salad was truly edible. Was I bitch enough to say so when she asked me if I was enjoying it? Hell no.

No one else seems to be enjoying it either, because they're used to the fact she can't cook or because this isn't the type of food they usually eat?

As my eyes dart around the table the only people who don't look they're about to barf are Alice and Doctor Whitlock, Jasper as he's asked me to call him. Maybe he's had time to get used to it?

There are undercurrents here too. Scowling, smirking, pursed lips, shaken heads. It's not exactly conducive to enjoying your meal and if I ever get invited back I need to have my excuses lined up. In fact I'm more than ready to find an excuse and bolt now but Em's concerned looks and genuine smiles are somehow keeping me in place . . . .

...

After dessert, ice cream, which even Alice can't ruin apparently, Em whisks me upstairs to see his room.

I'm not worried, obviously.

The whole house is a magazine's delight of wood and chrome. White walls with colorful accents and at first glance Em's room is no different. There are a many things that strike me though. The floor to ceiling shelves on two of the walls, that one wall is completely glass giving a view of Fork's dank forest which is unexpectedly beautiful, and that the other opens out onto a balcony that seats two and overlooks the artfully 'wild' yard.

That distracts me first.

"Wow." I murmur, moving over to get a proper look down.

"Es." He says proudly, coming to stand behind me. "She's an incredibly talented gardener and landscaper. She's done all of it pretty much on her own though obviously Carlisle is more than happy to act as labourer."

"Obviously." I giggle, turning back to study his room.

There's no accent artwork in here, the book spines, music, CDs and vinyl, video games and windows give it all the color and character it needs. The flat screen, the games consoles, the wafer thin laptop on the sleek desk and the deceptively simple stereo and speakers give it the air of rich boy you'd expect.

There's a long black leather couch and an amazingly squishy looking matching leather bean bag, of generous Em suitable proportions, but no bed . . . .

Can I ask him about that?

No probably shouldn't, part of one of the shelving units is obviously a door, since it's ajar, so maybe it's in there.

"It's very tidy." I observe for want of anything else to say.

"Alice, Mom, is a neat freak." He chuckles.

I nod non-comittally.

"Park your ass Hale." He laughs. "And I'll put on that Japanese horror we talked about."

"Cool."

I plonk myself down on the surprisingly comfortable couch and he throws me a couple of cushions I hadn't noticed and the softest throw I've ever felt.

With a sigh I snuggle down and make myself comfortable as he sits on the floor beside me and tilts his head back to rest on my arm blanket covered arm.

...

"Good?" He asks as the credits roll.

"Much better than the remake." I admit.

"I knew you were a woman of taste." He says, getting up to change the DVD. "What do you fancy now?"

"Laughter."

"Your wish is my command." He says, bending over to afford me a great view of his impeccable ass.

...

I say good bye to his family, who seem to have creepily gathered in the foyer to see me off, and Em walks me out to Dave.

"Thanks." I whisper as I open Dave's door.

"Thanks for coming." He says earnestly. "And staying, my family can be a little weird."

I laugh nervously.

And he laughs with the abandon that only Em can.

There's a loaded pause and then he reaches up, very carefully brushing a strand of hair back over my ear. His cool fingers trailing across my cheek. I shiver, and not from repulsion.

"Goodnight Rose." He murmurs, stepping back.

"Night Em."

...

"You've what?" I gasp.

"Ben and I broke up over the weekend." Angela repeats quietly.

"But why? How? What?" I glare across the lunch room at him, if looks could kill he'd have ceased twitching by now and be as stiff as the proverbial board. "What did he do?"

"I thought maybe he's kissed her, so I asked him, and he didn't deny it."

"Whoa. Ang. Back up. I wasn't there remember?"

"Sorry." She sighs, giving up on her lunch tray and shoving it into the middle of the table. "We went to a beach party at La Push on Saturday night."

I nod, Jake told me there was one when he was welding Dave's trunk last week, though that's about all he said, he was distinctly _off_ with me. Probably teenage boy hormones or the dawning realisation that I've got him over a barrel car maintenance wise.

"Leah was there."

Ah, the infamous Leah Clearwater. I haven't met her yet but her reputation precedes her. And it ain't a good one, though in fairness Jake did say she's had a lot of shit to put up with so it's not surprising she's acting out when she can.

"What happened?"

"Everyone was dancing, it was a great night, you and Em should have come. Anyway, Ben went to get us drinks and I saw him talking to her by the cooler, then they walked off into the trees."

"And?"

"He was gone for nearly five minutes Rose."

"And?"

"When I asked him what they were doing he blew me off."

"How?"

"He just said it didn't matter and the more I asked the nastier he got. I mean, Rose, this Ben we're talking about, I didn't think he could spell nasty, never mind be it."

"Did you ask him if he kissed her?"

"Yeah." She sighs, looking embarrassed. "When he dropped me off at home."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just looked freaked out for a moment and then drove off. He left me standing on the sidewalk Rose, and he always usually walks me to the door."

...

Ben is in my Phys Ed class.

Ben meet volleyball. Volleyball meet Ben.

"What the fuck did you do?" I hiss as I pretend to help him to his feet.

"Nothing, I swear, I love Ang!"

He can't lie to save his life, his birthday surprise for her in summer was no surprise at all in the end, despite the effort he put into it. The romantic fool.

"She doesn't seem to think so." I growl, dropping him back on his ass.

"What's she told you?" He asks.

"Nuh-uh Ben. You tell me what happened."

"Leah told me she needed my help."

"With what?" I snort.

"Beer, she said she'd hurt her back and couldn't lug it back from the car. I went to help her."

He swallows in the pause.

"There wasn't any beer." He admits quietly. "She didn't even kiss me, just shoved her hand down my pants."

Oh Ben.

"What did you do?" I ask, struggling to maintain my aggressive demeanour.

"I tried to be nice." He whispers, aware that our classmates are closing in on us. "But she wouldn't let it go."

I suppress a laugh at his choice of words, because, really, it isn't funny.

"I had to push her off me." He confesses. "And I know a real man doesn't get physical with a woman."

Bless him, I wish a certain _actual_ man knew that.

"And. And. I had to run away. Ang was so pissed at me and so suspicious I didn't know what to say to her. I mean Leah's a woman too and I know she's screwed up, I didn't want to disrespect her."

"She disrespected you." I point out.

"I guess." He sighs and I relent and jerk him to his feet.

"Skip the next lesson. Tell Ang the truth. And remind her that you love her. Don't fuck up again."

He nods and scurries away as Coach descends on me, detention in his eyes.

...

Somehow I'm not surprised when Bella rocks up in said detention.

"What?" She demands, smirking at me. "We're both bad, we're bound to end up here every once in a while."

"What did you do?" I ask her, not even bothering to pull out a book or any homework. For some reason the Principle rarely bothers to turn up when it's just Bella and I, the best behaved detainees he has I guess, both of us honor students.

"History. There were some inaccuracies in the text on WWII."

I raise an eyebrow at her and she laughs.

"Wars, they're Edward's thing and I try to share his interests."

"Why does this not surprise me?"

"The wars or the sharing?" She asks coyly.

"Either." I drawl and she laughs.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Eleven Wrong Conclusions**

**RPOV**

Despite the epic weirdness of my first visit it doesn't seem to take much for him to lure me back the next weekend.

And the next.

I never know who is home and who isn't because apart from Bella they're all conspicuous by their subsequent absences. Not that I mind. And take away pizza, even from Forks, is better than Alice's cooking. By quite a wide margin.

Dad insists he comes to ours too, god knows what Alice said to him but he seems to think that Em and I should have as much supervised quality time together as possible.

Sometimes we watch movies, sometimes we talk, and sometimes we do our homework, it's disgusting how intelligent he is and that he seems to have a photographic memory. But whatever we're doing his clowning makes me laugh and his presence makes me calm. He's never asked me to tell him anything, although he must have joined up a few dots by now, and for that I am inordinately grateful and just a little bit warm and fuzzy.

...

Of course there is no such thing as plain sailing so I wasn't overly bothered when Dave let me down one Sunday when I was off to do the grocery shopping. Dad helped me get him started and I made my way cautiously down to the Res to see Jake.

Nobody answers when I knock the door so I follow the strains of music round to the shack that passes for Jake's workshop.

He's stripped to the waist as he sands down some body work and I take a moment to appreciate the view until it dawns on me that he's cut that amazing long black hair . . . .

"Jake! You're hair!" I wail. "What did you do?"

He whirls toward me, shutting off the sander and I catch a glimpse of a new, blue, tattoo on his upper arm. Which is when it dawns on me that I've been so busy with Bella and Em that I haven't seen him for _ages_.

The next shock is the less than friendly look on his face and all sorts of thoughts careen through my head as I take an involuntary step back.

My obvious conclusion is that he somehow knows about Phoenix and Dick, though I've no idea how he could, unless . . . .

Yes, thoughts wildly careening, brain temporarily overloaded and unable to direct body sensibly.

I back up another step, scratch the unfriendly, he looks like he wants to rip me limb from limb, what the fuck?

I back up another step, stumbling over the foot rest on Billy's wheelchair which I didn't know was behind me.

Wailing I flail my arms and keel over, ass first into the leftover hard summer mud.

"Rose." Billy says quietly, his voice filled with the authority he carries as an elder of the tribe. "You should leave now. Forgive Jacob, he has been under a lot of strain. I'm sorry, but you should go."

I don't need to be told twice, I'm up and out of there, praying that Dave will start this time.

"Jacob!" I hear Billy intone sternly as I run . . . .

"Bless you." I whimper to Dave as he starts first time.

There are four other boys, some of whom I vaguely recognise, across the grass from me, against the tree line, silently watching. And I think I've wandered into a torture porn movie. Like Jake every one of them is stripped to the waist and built like brick out house, every one of them has close cropped hair black hair and every one of them is sporting blue tattoos, like Jake's, on their upper arms.

Dave bounces over the rutted road and my eyes don't leave the rear view mirror until I'm round the bend and out of sight.

What the fuck just happened?

...

Dad's cruiser isn't outside the house when I get there so I automatically point Dave at the station. He's gonna think I'm even crazier than normal but there is no fucking way I'm not telling him what just happened . . . .

There's an irony there my brain points out.

Then it points out that it might not be a good idea to tell Dad because if Jake and Billy and the 'Scary Boys' hate me for my past, and I can't think of another reason, that might come out if I alert him to what happened.

Technically I'm still thinking that over when Dave delivers me back to my house.

I can't see how Jake or any of them could know.

What's with the disdain for clothes and long hair all of a sudden?

What the fuck did that tattoo mean?

What was Billy afraid of, because I know he was afraid, it's something I recognise in other people since I'm so used to it in myself.

I can't see how any of them could know . . . .

I'm still going round in circles, figuratively in my head and literally on the living room carpet, when the front door opens and Dad strides in.

"Billy just called me."

My brain goes into overload again and deliberately cuts power to the body . . . .

...

"I'm fairly certain she just fainted Chief." Doctor Whitlock observes in his soft lilting accent. "And I think she is coming round now."

"Rosalie, baby?" Dad asks cautiously.

My eyes open, he and Doctor Whitlock, Jasper, are both hovering over me as I lie on the couch.

"Oh baby." Dad gasps. "You frightened ten years off my life! Are you alright? What happened?"

"Chief." Jasper interrupts gently. "Let's give her a moment to get her bearings. Emmett, a glass of water please."

Footsteps speed into the kitchen, returning quickly, and a disembodied hand passes a full glass between Dad and Jasper which I grasp with enthusiasm.

"Here." Dad says, helping me into the sitting position.

Now I can see all three of them.

Dad looking worried. Jasper looking relaxed and Em looking the first one but going for the second.

So sweet of him.

But I don't have time for that now, I'm more worried about what Billy told Dad than anything else.

"What?" I ask. "How?"

"I came in." Dad says, scratching the back of his head. "You just keeled over, I didn't know if you'd hit your head, or . . . . Anyway, I just got you on the couch when Doctor Whitlock and Em arrived."

"I was just dropping Em off." Jaspers says smoothly. "He was coming over to watch a movie with Rose."

Oh yes, so he was, that was kind of the point of the grocery shopping, forgotten in this afternoon's drama.

Em waves the DVD briefly, evidentiary support or whatever.

Dad frowns, he's got some policeman type issues with that particular franchise and I don't think he'll ever let me stay in a European hostel. Torture porn . . . .

I have a scary flashback to my recent visit to La Push and accidently spill water down my front.

"Well." Jasper decides. "I'll just check you over again Rose and leave you to get some rest, Em I think you'll be watching that movie alone."

"Not a problem Dad." Em says, flashing first me then Dad the caring boyfriend smile.

He checks me briefly and _carefully_, which makes my paranoid mind wonder what Em's told him and then fuck, what if Em _has_ told everybody . . . .

"Calm." Jasper whispers so quietly I can barely hear. "Let your Dad talk. Don't worry."

I blink at him slowly, surprised, did he just read my mind?

But he's already moved away, telling Dad that I seem perfectly fine but he should bring me by the hospital for a check up tomorrow and to call his personal cell if I seem ill before then.

My brain is still freewheeling uselessly, taking up space without paying rent, as Dad ushers them out with profuse thanks and closes the door softly behind them.

Oh fuck, I'm out of time.

"You okay?" Dad asks, scratching the back of his head again.

I nod.

"You sure?"

"Yes Dad, I'd say if I wasn't."

He gives me the 'I know you're lying' look and I stare blandly back, which makes him sigh and drop abruptly into his chair.

"Billy called me." He begins, choosing to ignore everything else for now. "We've been dealing with some trouble down on the Res. A gang I guess you'd call them. Kids joining and then dropping out of school. They're not exactly doing anything criminal but some of their behaviour, their arrogance, is worrying the more vulnerable residents. Billy doesn't seem overly concerned, and I trust his judgement, he thinks they're just young guys flexing their muscles and their tribal history. The Wolf Pack everyone's calling them.

He didn't know why they were suddenly so interested in you but he knew you were scared, so he called me."

"Why do you think they were?" I ask quietly, swirling my glass of water.

"I don't know Rose. Policing the Res isn't easy, they like to take care of their own problems and I respect that. My cop's instinct tells me they aren't actually dangerous. My Dad's instinct is to introduce them to my taser for scaring you. And possibly to shoot them and bury their bodies just to be on the safe side if they do have nefarious intentions."

Silence. I've imagined Dad shooting Dick and me helping him bury the body, its one of the reasons I've never told him, one of the many.

"Rose. I know I haven't ever been a parent to you and I don't know how to be, but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

"I know you do Dad."

"So." Dad continues. "Billy didn't want to tell me but he had to admit tonight that Jacob has joined the gang."

I nod, still not willing to tell him how much Jake suddenly seemed to hate me lest it lead onto any of the reasons why that may be . . . .

"He thinks, and don't freak out, that Jacob has a bit of a thing for you and the 'gang' situation may be fuelling his jealousy with regard to your dating Emmett Whitlock."

Relief makes me slightly giddy.

"Jesus Dad, you sound so much like a cop right now." I giggle snort.

He growls at me and wriggles in his chair, realising that his gun belt is still on and removing it to drape over the arm.

"I am what I am." He states, apparently vaguely offended.

Then he clicks the TV on, to SportsCenter.

And . . . . we're done here.

Massive sigh of relief, I have things to think about but no looming disaster . . . .

"So." Dad says conversationally, hitting mute. "I know why your Mom says you don't like Rich, but you've never told me yourself."

"He's a dick." I answer automatically and not without prior history. I always refer to him as Dick, Dad knows this.

"Alright." Dad allows. "On a personal level I won't disagree with you, but as a cop and a Dad I'm interested in why _you_ think so."

"He was just, such a _dick_." I hedge.

"How?"

"You know. Rules. Double standards of behaviour. Getting me in trouble with Mom. A dick."

"Was he like that from day one?"

Oh, nice, trick question. How to answer?

"In a way."

"Yet your living with them was never a problem, from day one." He observes.

"I guess I got more obnoxious as I got older." I shrug. "Or he did."

"I don't like him, I've decided." Dad admits, closing his eyes and lacing his big hands over his cop's paunch.

Oh, ah, um . . . .

"There's something you're not telling me." He hums thoughtfully.

"There's loads I'm not telling you." I drawl. "Teenage daughter, remember?"

"Yep." He sighs. "It's something of a problem for me. I have cop's instincts yet woeful parenting skills and little exposure to teenage girls. They send me on a ton of courses and it's really difficult sometimes to separate reality from the 'bogey' man they're always urging me to look out for."

"Um?"

His eyes are still closed.

"I love you Rose. There isn't anything you can't tell me."

Oh Dad.

I love you too. But there really are things I can't tell you. Not if I don't want you to change your mind about me.

"Go to bed Rose." He says, without opening his eyes. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay Dad, I, um, l . . . ."

"Go to bed." He chuckles. "Don't strain yourself unnecessarily."

"Fine." I huff. "I was gonna tell you I love you too but that's clearly not happening now."

His laughter floats up the stairs after me, painting them with a warmth that carries me into my room and comfortable bed . . . .


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twelve Cock and Bull Story**

**RPOV**

The brain has yet to dial itself back.

Though I managed to fall asleep relatively quickly, something I've rarely done these last few years, hence the clubbing and the internet abuse, I woke up feeling like I hadn't had a break at all.

Dad's words were loaded with meaning, which I could unfortunately understand.

Jake and his 'gang's' actions weren't. Also unfortunate? I don't know. Probably.

Em and his family were once again where I needed them to be, at precisely the time I needed them to be there.

Did I notice that Doctor Whitlock, Jasper's, touch was as cold and hard as Em's and Bella's? Yes I did. That home gym must be a doozey, though they might need to call their air conditioning contractor . . . .

Am I ignoring my real issues and how close my Dad might be to them?

Absolutely.

Do I think, after sober reflection, that Em's told anyone other than his family about my 'issues'?

No.

Am I pissed that he's discussed them with his family?

Oh, fucking hell, yes . . . .

...

He arrives to pick me up in the morning.

I let him.

He knows there's something wrong but doesn't push on what.

I allow that.

We part for our lessons.

I also allow that.

We meet up at lunch, I ignore him and Bella laughs at us both.

We sit together in Biology and I ignore him until he slides our worksheet toward me with a ridiculously comedic question mark drawn on the top.

_Fuck you._ I scrawl on it.

He moves the paper out of the way and tears a fresh sheet out of his notebook.

_We need to talk._ He writes.

_Bring a tin hat and put a telephone directory down your pants._ I scribble.

_Okay._ Is his simple response.

...

At the end of the day I consciously ignore everyone and stalk across Forks High School's football field, past the bleachers, across the already soggy autumn turf and up the slope into the dreary grey green trees that frame it.

Aware, on the basest of levels that with every step, Em is _hot_ on my heels.

I stop about a hundred feet into the trees, about as far as you can go without losing your bearings if there's no trail. Trust me, trees all look the same.

But though I've been simmering on his 'betrayal' all day I suddenly find I've got nothing to say.

"I'd rather not guess." He murmurs after a moment and I almost whip round to face him. Almost.

I sigh, I'm not stoned or drunk, I don't want to talk about this and I don't have to, I can just push Em and his sister back out of my life like they've never been in it.

But I don't _want_ to, I realise as my throat works soundlessly.

Which pisses me of, because, really, how very fucking dare he tell anyone, even a member of his family, what he thinks is going on in my life?

"Who did you tell?" I ask quietly, knowing him well enough to know he'll get what I'm asking him.

"No one." He responds softly.

I snort.

"Rose." He says. "I didn't have to."

"Come on Em." I object, finally turning to face him. "I don't have abuse victim tattooed on my forehead, even Dad hasn't worked it out and he's a cop. _Your_ Dad obviously knows, am I supposed to think he read my mind?"

He doesn't answer.

"And Jake? How the hell did he find out, you? Your Dad? Bella? Because I sure as shit didn't tell him! You've got no idea the fucking weirdness I walked into down at La Push yesterday and I've got to live with that reaction to me every fucking day till I graduate! How could you Em, I tru . . . . fuck, I _almost_ trusted you!"

My voice has escalated to a scream without my permission and Em takes an involuntary step back, murmuring something too rapidly for me to hear.

"What!?" I screech.

"I said, you're amazing when you're angry." He says, only slightly more slowly.

"You insufferable jerk!" I howl, hauling back to slap him.

"Don't." He cautions, capturing my wrist easily.

"Why? Don't you think you deserve it?" I hiss, struggling to shake it free.

"No, not really." He shrugs. "But I'm more worried about you hurting yourself."

"Well aren't you overly fond of your manly hardness?" I snarl.

"Please Rose, don't hit me." He asks calmly, letting my wrist go.

I'm momentarily out of energy so he gets his wish, the conceited ass.

"I would _never_." He begins, voice dripping with sincerity. "Tell anyone, not even my family, your personal business without talking to you first. But my family, ah, there are reasons why keeping secrets is an exercise in futility."

"What did they do?" I drawl with infinite sarcasm. "Stick bamboo slivers under your fingernails?"

"No." He admits with a sigh. "That's a physical impossibility."

"Em." It's my turn to sigh. "I can't do this. I can't trust people, I can't trust _you_."

"You can." He assures me, all serious intent eyes and honest smile.

"You know I want to ask you to prove it but I know that's both a rude and pointless. No one can prove that. And you're the only one that knows, Jake . . . ."

Shaking my head, mentally exhausted and inexplicably sad, I back up and sit down on a fallen tree, the damp immediately seeping through my jeans. Nice, wet ass.

"I know why Jake and the guys at La Push would have treated you the way they did."

"You going to explain?" I huff.

"I doubt you're going to like it."

"I don't like the fact that you seem to know how they treated me even though you weren't there and I haven't told you."

For some reason this makes him laugh, like I've been missing something, and my anger spikes again.

"The Wolves and the Whitlocks aren't friends Rose." He pauses, taking a deep breath.

"Wow, as explanations go that sucks, Em."

"Their reaction to you will have been entirely about your connection to my family. Not you, or anything about you, as much as we dislike each other they're not evil or ignorant enough to blame you for what Dick did to you."

I make a strangled noise at the oblique reference and Em drops to his knees in front of me, carefully taking both my hands in one massive, cold, one.

"They hate _me_. _Not_ you. You've never done anything wrong. I wish you could see that."

I wish I could too, but I'm not sure that's right. Back at the start, I was kind of _flattered_ by how attractive Mom's new, very rich, boyfriend seemed to find me.

"I wish I could read your mind." He sighs.

I don't. I'm fucking glad you can't, you know far too much already.

"If you could you'd want to tell me why the hell the guys in La Push would hate you enough to want to frighten the shit out of _me_."

He growls, once again like he knows what happened.

"Rose, there's a long history between us. I don't know how to explain all of it without explaining the things you aren't going to like."

"Just fucking tell me the truth Em."

He sighs, his gold eyes searching my face.

"Do you know how they came to be called wolves?"

"Shape shifting vampire hunters." I answer impatiently, I loved the story but I don't see what it's got to do with me, us, this, whatever . . . .

"That's right, absolutely huge they are too."

"Of course." I drawl, nodding sagely. "They'd have to be wouldn't they?"

His lips twitch but he manages not to smile.

"Very fast too."

"I would imagine."

"We have a treaty with them."

"Um-hmm." I nod again. "Did you have to hold their pens for them when they signed, because I would think paws would make that really hard to do, you know?"

"Your sarcasm could strip wood." He observes.

"Yes it can, like acid rain. Is there a point to this cock and bull story Em because if there is could we get to it? I have to wash my hair, pair up my socks, you know the kind of thing."

He releases my hands and sits back on his haunches.

"How much of the story did they tell you?"

"All of it I guess? I was getting tired at the time but I heard all about the First Wife and stuff."

He holds his hand out palm up.

"I'm not really in the mood for that right now." I snap rudely.

"Touch my hand Rose, think about it."

I roll my eyes and reach out with one finger to tap his palm, cold and hard. Same as always.

"Why do you think the Whitlock's have a treaty with the wolves Rose?"

"Jesus Em." I growl. "That's it? Your entire excuse for your family knowing my business is about you being a vampire? Do I look like I came up the Sol Duc on a biscuit? It's daylight if you haven't noticed and you don't have fangs, Eric Yorkie looks more like a bat than you do, and I've seen you eat garlic."

What is this shit? I'm outta here.

He leaps to his feet as I stand and moves back to give me space, which I immediately take to skirt round him and head back to the school.

And suddenly he's in front of me again.

I growl and dodge him easily, picking up my pace.

But he's back again so fast I didn't even see him move.

The damn hairs on the back of my neck prickle.

I blink and he's gone.

So out of here . . . .

And he's back.

Gone. Back. Gone. Back.

I'm spinning on the spot now trying to find him but there's not even a blur, it's like he's using a damn teleporter or something.

"Stop!" I scream, before I make myself giddy or sick. "For the love of god, stop!"

And he's back, looking equal parts apologetic and cautious.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asks, deciding to take my lack of response as acceptance.

Moving away from me he grabs one of the younger trees and rips the sucker up by the roots, holding it easily in one hand like a giant ass light sabre.

"The strength and the speed." He says, unable to keep the delight out of his voice. "Are the absolute best things about being what I am."

"A vampire?" I ask with automatic disbelief.

He nods, setting the tree down carefully.

"Em. My head is going to explode."

"Actually by the sound of your heartbeat you're coping with this really well."

"You so need to fuck off right now." I inform him with a quavery voice.

"Done." He says with one of his more familiar smiles. "Bella's left Dave in the parking lot so you can drive yourself home. If you don't want to see me later I'll pick you up for school in the morning."

I nod, unable to be surprised or muster any questions.

"I'm not dangerous." He assures me. "Not to you."

"Okay, great, thanks, good to know."

I make to move past him and then stop, wondering if we're going to have a repeat of, whatever it was that happened before, but he bows comically and indicates for me to be on my way.

By the time I hit the field I'm at a dead run, and by the time I hit the parking lot I'm out of breath, I doubt I've ever sprinted that far before, maybe I should try out for the 800 meters? Bella is stood by Dave but she places the keys on his roof and backs away to her car with her own apologetic smile on her face.

Like a wild animal coming across its favourite food just where it shouldn't be I snatch the keys up and scramble into Dave, keeping my eyes on Bella in the mirrors until she disappears as I peel out of the parking lot.

It's a short drive home at high speed and I abandon Dave in the driveway and scamper into the house, slamming the door shut behind me.

It's suspiciously quiet and I dart into the kitchen to find a note from Dad stuck haphazardly on the refrigerator.

Not the best of nights for him to be working.

Then I start laughing.

Hysterically.

Because really? What the fuck . . . .


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirteen Things That Go Bump in the Night**

**RPOV**

Of course this would also be just the night for a good old Forks style thunder storm and the rest of Dad's cheap bourbon is coming with me as I make a den under the covers of my bed. Have you ever done that? Assumed you'd be safe from the bogey man as long as no part of you is showing when he looks in through your window? I'm not sure it's effective, it never fucking worked on Dick . . . .

Alright. _Think_ Rose.

Okay. I don't think Em or anyone is his family would have told Jake or his 'gang' anything and nothing's happened today to change my mind.

Em's family, at least some of them, seem to know, so he must have told them, right? Keeping secrets is hard in any family, but not impossible, this I know.

God this bourbon is rank, who knew Dad was such a cheapskate?

Anyway, that annoys me. He shouldn't have, even though it was me that opened my big fat mouth in the first place.

Can I forgive him for that? Maybe? I don't know, it irritates me that I want to, I should know better.

So far so normal.

Cue the maniacal, and by now slightly drunken, laughter.

Now for the stupid shit.

Em's a vampire. One of what the Quileute's call the Cold Ones.

Well, he is cold I guess, or rather his hands are. I'd assumed a circulation problem myself, who wouldn't?

Billy never said anything about them being hard so maybe that's a misnomer, wrong word but I know what I mean. Jesus, I can't believe I'm even thinking about this. But Em and Bella are definitely harder than your aver-age teenager. Thank you Yogi. He never said anything about fangs either, but that's kind of a given isn't it? Still can't believe I'm even thinking about this. Gold eyes weren't mentioned either, in fact I'm pretty sure he said their eyes were red. Like the guy in the store. Holy Shit! Now there was a guy creepy enough to be a vampire! The Whitlocks are just too damn nice, Jasper's a Doctor for christsakes. Though, who better to get blood?

Fuck! When did I get so scared of thunder? Possibly when I moved here and met the stuff that shakes the house to its foundations, I thought Phoenix knew how to rock a thunderstorm . . . .

I'm so drunk.

Why would he tell me such a crock of shit if he wasn't trying to divert my attention away from his blurting out my secrets over the Whitlock dinner table? I mean who wouldn't want to change things up? The food sucks.

Ha! Sucks. I made a funny. Get me.

Vampires don't exist. Billy tells a damn good story. The La Push guys, and Jake, are jerks who've watched too many movies. And Em's a dick. No, Dick's a dick, Em's a . . . . vampire . . . . hehe . . . .

He's like Dynamo or something, Magician Impossible, that's what all that freaky disappearing reappearing shit was all about. And that tree wasn't that big, more of a sapling really, Em's a meaty guy, hell maybe even I could have pulled the damn thing up and waved it around. Gotta try that on one of its little friends tomorrow . . . .

What _is _his major malfunction? He's obviously spent more time wasting his brain on the internet and TV than I've given him credit for. Kudos to his imagination though, really . . . .

But did he seriously expect me to buy into any of that _bullshit_?

"If I don't wanna see you tonight?" I snort. "Like I'm gonna call your lying ass? Got questions for you though. Yessiree . . . . _hick_."

"Ask them." Em urges me softly.

"Pfft. Too trashed right now."

"You know you can't hide from a vampire under a comforter, right?" He drawls.

"Can't hide from anything under a comforter dude, tried it."

"Put the bottle down and go to sleep Rose, I'll still be here in the morning."

"Questions?"

"Ask them when you're sober enough to see the answers."

"What you doing in my room? Fucking stalking me now too?"

"No. Watching out for you."

"Not the first time."

"No."

"You weird."

"I've been called worse."

"Tired."

"Go to sleep Rose. Nothing can hurt you while I'm here."

"Stupid boy." I huff, risking exposure to the bogey man by sliding the almost empty bottle out from under the covers and onto the floor before I snatch my arm back to safety.

"Night Rose."

"Fuck you."

His gentle laughter is the last thing I hear . . . .

...

_Ow_.

Now this is familiar territory.

Hangover territory.

My eyeballs have been seared into their sockets and if I open my eyelids there will be pain. There is already some pain, mini Thor is pounding on the inside of my skull, in time with my heartbeat, which is nice. And I think, possibly, if I move, there will be vomit.

"Up and at 'em Rose!" Dad yells, the front door banging shut behind him.

"Ungh." I groan.

"There's water and a couple of pills next to your bed." Em says quietly. "Doctor Dad recommends starting with those and taking it slowly."

"Have you been here all night?"

"Yes, apart from briefly hanging from the window ledge by my fingertips when your Dad came to check on you earlier."

"I don't know how to take that." I confess.

"Trust me, I have exceptionally strong fingertips."

"Vampire, huh?"

"Yes ma'am. All Vampire. All the Time."

"This is crazy."

"Rose, people who believe in crystals and ley lines are crazy. This is reality."

"Are you going to explain?"

"Are you going to school?"

"Pfft. _No_."

"Then I'll be waiting downstairs when you're ready."

My door closes behind him.

Five minutes later I open my eyes and a few after that I sit up and reach for the pills.

After another ten I manage to get out of bed and stagger into the bathroom in desperate need of bladder relief and a shower . . . .

...

"I'd have made you breakfast." He says with a laugh as I arrive in the kitchen. "But as you may have noticed vampires are shit cooks."

I wince, too delicate for coffee, and pour myself a fresh glass of water.

"Not so loud Em, please."

With supreme effort I drag my sorry ass to a chair and carefully sit down, resting my arms on the table and my head on my arms.

"I'm not buying into the vampire shit Em." I moan. "So 'splain what you gotta 'splain, because as soon as I'm strong enough I'm going back to bed. And don't try any of that freaky shit on me you pulled yesterday cos I doubt you're fast enough to escape my projectile vomiting."

"Just talk?"

"Please."

"Okay."

...

After a while I take my wrecked ass back to bed, which is fortunate because Dad comes home a little later to check that I'm okay, since the Chief of Police's daughter can't skip school unnoticed. Fortunately I looked as sick as can be and he went away again somewhat mollified.

When I wake up again an hour or so later Em is patiently waiting in the old rocking chair in the corner.

I bundle myself up in the comforter and just look at him.

Vampires are abnormally pale he said, check, his whole family are pale, but then most people in Forks are pale. His eyes are gold because he and his family are vegetarian vampires, not strictly true as I'm sure the bears would agree, but they don't drink the blood of humans, only animals. Vampires who drink humans have red eyes. And yes, the scary guy in the store was a vampire, one who was encouraged by the family Whitlock to leave town and not come back, ever. No contacts there then.

They don't eat human food if they can help it because they can't digest it and have to yak it back up, same with any liquid that isn't blood. Nasty.

True Blood, Buffy and almost every other vampire thing I've seen or read is a crock of shit. Vampires don't burn up in the sun, the only reason they're careful about sunlight is because their skin sparkles if it's too bright. Like a disco ball according to Em. And they don't go round dining on people and then using their 'mojo' to make them forget. A vampire bites you, you die. Either by being sucked dry or by becoming a vampire yourself if they don't finish the job. Real vampires, and I use the word advisedly, are venomous, like snakes. Gross. I asked how that worked and he said the venom basically burns all the living tissue out of you in three days of screaming agony, and turns you to living stone.

Vampires are hard. As in marble hard. I know his hands are hard and I assumed, on the rare occasions I'd felt other parts of him, that he just worked out a lot. Turns out he doesn't need to, none of them do. Vampires are made of the hardest substance on the planet. Stakes, holy water, garlic or hastily recited passages from the 'Good Book' will not save you. Neither will running away or attempting to fight back. Vampires are faster than the human eye can capture. Everything about them. Em says if they talk at their normal pace a human wouldn't even be able to hear them. They're also unbelievably strong, apparently he could crush my skull with one hand and lift Dave above his head with the other. A typical Em way of explaining it if ever there was one.

The boys at La Push really can turn into wolves and those wolves _can_ kill a vampire. There is a real treaty, the Whitlocks lived here before about a century ago and the wolves tolerate them because they don't eat humans, but there are very strict rules about territories, which is why I've never seen a Whitlock down at La Push or First Beach.

The century thing threw me, still is to be honest as I continue to study Em. Vampires don't get sick and they don't get old. Emmett McCarty, the human, was a Miner 49er, one of the early victims of the California gold rush. I can picture it, him, grinning and cocksure as he set off West to make his fortune with his two younger brothers. Em's been twenty for one hundred and fifty five _years_.

Nature has designed vampires to be fatally attractive to their prey, which is why the Whitlocks are so ludicrously _hot_ with rich seductive voices and come hither scents. Apparently I won't by buying Eau de Em in a bottle any time soon. Nevertheless most humans instinctively know they're 'other' and dangerous. I suppose that explains why he sometimes scares the crap out of me and _literally_ did it to Dick.

He also says being a vegetarian is very hard, that without human blood a vampire's thirst is never really satisfied. Mistakes have been made from time to time. Yet I'm not afraid of him right now as I survey him across my room. He's had more than enough chances to off me already. I mean, sure, I play with my food when I'm not really hungry but I don't ask it to be my girlfriend and take it dancing, ya know?

Oh my god. Am I actually buying into this crap? What was I _drinking_? Not that it doesn't explain a few things that have been bothering me, but . . . .

It's a lot of effort to go through just to get out of blabbing to his family though isn't it?

Vampires can hear a flea hopping across a carpet and see a bug on a tree trunk from a hundred yards away, that's his excuse for certain family members working stuff out without being told, it also accounts for Bella's uncanny ability to get detention every time I do, apparently. And I don't want to _think_ about what they can allegedly _smell_ . . . .

"Talk to me, please?" He asks as the silence stretches out.

"I thought you were gay." I confess.

_Ow_ . . . .

"God, Em, _please_ don't laugh that loud, my head still hurts . . . ."


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Fourteen Gifts **

**RPOV**

Em's still laughing when Bella jumps through the window, frightening the ever loving shit out of me.

"I brought lunch." She says over his guffawing, waving a paper sack at me and jiggling a soda.

I still haven't recovered enough to speak so she continues.

"Doctor Dad recommends an intake of grease to speed along the healing process. I'm not sure what the soda's for, hydration I guess? I've never had a hangover, at least I don't think I have."

"Rose thinks I'm gay." Em finally manages to choke out as I take the bag from her like a ravenous dog. I don't know how Jasper knows about the hangover / grease relationship but I fucking love him right now . . . .

"Of course she does." Bella informs him, perching on the end of my bed. "You're far too cool to be straight, I've always told you that, and you've never had a girlfriend."

I chow down, just about remembering my manners and decorum, while the two of them bicker good naturedly. If Bella hadn't arrived via the window with no visible means of support this would be a fairly normal moment I guess.

"Enough." Bella decides as I swallow the last fry and reach for the soda. "Girl time Em, go help Edward and Carlisle with something manly."

"Rose?" He asks, studying me carefully.

"You're not gonna eat me are you?" I ask Bella, who hasn't ever scared me so far.

"Nah. I'm a genuine veggie, never tasted a human, never been tempted. Besides Emmie Bear wouldn't leave me alone with you if I were any kind of danger."

"I wouldn't." Em agrees.

I hesitate, I don't know why.

"Rose." Bella says earnestly. "We've kind of pushed ourselves into your life but now you know some of the truth I promise we'll stop doing that, even Em. But there's more you need to know first, I think."

"Okay."

"Okay. Bye Em, don't let the window hit your ass on the way out." Bella laughs, dismissing him.

He rolls his eyes. Smiles that smile at me. And then exits via said window. I didn't see him go, I'm basing that assumption on the madly swaying drapes.

Bella moves herself to the vacated rocking chair and I snuggle back down under the comforter with my soda.

"Freaked out yet?" She asks.

I shrug. The jury's out, I may still be drunk . . . .

"I'm sorry. I heard what he told you before Jasper sent me to fetch sustenance."

"Do you eavesdrop on everything?"

"No. There's a reason I'm the way I am. Some vampires have gifts."

"Gifts?"

"Abilities."

"Above and beyond all that other stuff Em told me about?"

"Yeah." She chuckles. "Immortality is full of little surprises like that, at least for some of us."

"What's your gift?" Okay, I may still be drunk, might as well be entertained . . . .

"I'm a shield. There's a lot to it but one of the major parts is that I'm drawn to people who need protecting."

"Oh."

"Oh." She agrees. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me because I'm luckier than almost everyone else I know but it's not an easy thing to live with because no one, not even a vampire, can help everyone.

I didn't know why I was drawn to you at first, turned out there were two reasons, the main one being Em and the second being what I've picked up over the months. Why won't you talk to anyone about what he did to you?"

I glare at her and she moves on smoothly.

"I always know when you're in trouble, the skin on the back of my neck prickles, not a common occurrence for a stone skinned vampire."

"Detention."

"Detention." She confirms. "The nomad in the grocery store. The night your Mom and Dick showed up. I even knew you needed help in La Push, that last visit."

"Why?"

"Why help you?"

I nod.

"Can I tell you that later?"

"Only if you don't mind that I'm not worth it."

She frowns, suddenly looking as scary as Em can, and then visibly relaxes.

"Sorry to scare you." She sighs.

"You didn't."

"Yes I did." She laughs. "I can hear your heartbeat take off and smell the fear rolling off you."

I scoff and once again she moves on.

"I'm not the only one with a gift. Alice can see the future, it's not a precise science so don't get excited. We have shares in a number of highly valuable companies but we've missed a few too. Her insight is triggered by decisions, usually _big_ ones unless they're made by people she's familiar with. She 'saw' what happened with the dogs before my neck prickled, when you decided to go shopping. And she 'saw' Em killing Dick when he decided to come visit you with your Mom."

I gasp.

"But she also 'saw' Phil, your Dad, shooting him in your driveway. Possibilities born out of decisions, that's what she sees."

"But how? Neither of those things happened."

"I felt your need that night and I told Em. He decided to go to the school, talk to you, that changed the possible future."

"My head hurts." I complain.

"Tell that to Alice. The poor woman has some days when she can't put one foot in front of the other for possibilities. She's pretty good with it though, after all these years."

"How many?"

"A hundred or few."

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"How long have you been a, um, er, _vampire_?"

"A while. I'll tell you the story later if you still want to hear it."

"Okay."

"Our hearing, my gift and Alice's, they aren't the only reasons we know more than you'd probably like us to."

My hand flaps to encourage her to continue.

"Jasper is empathic, he can sense and influence people's emotions."

Um.

"And Edward can read minds. It's one of the reasons he's not a people person."

Holy shit.

"He can read mine?"

"Yes. Sorry."

And she does look genuinely sorry.

"When, how much? What?"

"All the time, most of it and pretty much any time you're within a couple of miles now he knows your 'mental signature'."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah." She sighs. "That's always the one that gets people. If you can, try and at least imagine what that's like from his side, my poor baby."

Focus Rose, on something, anything . . . .

"People? How many people?"

"Ah, now that's a difficult one. Are we defining 'people' as humans or humans _and_ vampires?"

"Both, humans and vampires."

"Okay. Well, vampires, a few, humans, no one bar you."

"Me?"

"You. Vampires have laws you know."

"You do?"

"Well no, not really, just the one I suppose. To keep our existence a secret."

"Then _why_?"

"You said I could tell you that later."

"My head hurts." I groan.

"Do you need more pills? Water?" She asks, all concern all of a sudden, leaning forward in the rocking chair like a racehorse in a starting gate.

"No, no. I mean why tell _me_ and not tell me until later?" Fuck, the entire world, including me, has completely stopped making sense.

"Ah. There was some argument about that but the majority won."

"That's not exactly an answer Bella."

"Just accept you're special for now Rose and leave it at that."

"I need to lie down."

"Go for it. I have all the time in the world. In theory."

...

I had a dream. And not about a better life for everyone. It didn't make a lot of sense until I woke up and found Bella Whitlock, alleged vampire, sat in my rocking chair.

I drag myself upright and regard her blearily.

"You might want to take a shower." She drawls.

"Fuck you." I groan.

"Only if you shower first."

I vaguely brandish my finger at her as I slouch from the room.

...

"Why are you still here?" I snarl as I throw myself back into the bed, definitely feeling more like me again.

"I want to tell you a story."

"I'm a bit old for bed time stories."

"Its actually only four in the afternoon and you've been sleeping most of the day, you lush you. Lie down, shut up, and listen . . . .

...

Isabella Marie Swan was born in Chicago in 1854. Daughter to merchant Charlie Swan and a mother whose name and face she cannot remember. It isn't uncommon for vampires to lose some of their 'human' memories when they change, apparently.

She said she was a shy awkward child, which frankly I struggle to believe, though a surprisingly well educated one, which _is_ easy to believe. But that at seventeen, her father, with the best of intentions, was trying to negotiate for her the best of possible marriages. She was pretty, which apparently didn't hurt her chances, with long chestnut hair, dark brown eyes and a narrow waist.

She hadn't been bothered about it, it was just the way things were. She'd have a fine husband, beautiful children and be able to keep an enviable 'house'.

And she still wasn't bothered when she met the unbelievably perfect Edward Smith in the market one day. A girl could harbour childish romantic dreams, as long as she was a lady who never acted on them. Still, she said, he was _gorgeous_ and the stuff that such dreams were made of. Bronze hair that flamed in the light, bright yet dark eyes, and the manly physique that any woman would want in her beau.

He was witty and erudite in a way that most of the 'man boys' she'd been introduced to by her father weren't. And his lips were full enough to beg to be kissed. Her head was turned, her friends were incredibly jealous and her heart and womanly wiles were all a flutter. He looked like an angel, dressed like a gentleman, spoke like a poet and smelt like nirvana. Not something a simple merchant's daughter was equipped to deal with . . . .

She ran into him every day for a week, by which time base hormones were overtaking nurtured lady and she agreed to go 'for a walk' with him.

He was intense and a little frightening, but oh so intriguing . . . .

When he returned her to her house later that afternoon and embraced her on the front path she wasn't sure if he was going to ravish her, kill her or declare his undying love.

She was still trying to work it out when her father roused her from her bed with news of the fire.

Yeah. The Great Chicago Fire, 1871.

They fled.

Along with everyone else that could . . . .

It was a desperate hour, secured by her father's side, fleeing the flames whose reflection danced on every surface they passed.

Rich, poor, all burdened with the possessions they sought to save.

The crowds growing larger and the press of bodies growing tighter as the night wore on.

Until, eventually, they accidentally ran into a blind alley, couldn't escape in time, and the fire took them . . . .


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Fifteen Bella and Edward**

**BPOV**

_Burning, terrified, such a terrible way to die . . . ._

_So much I should have been able to do._

_Read. Love. Mother. Speak to Edward again._

_Pain, so much pain . . . ._

"_Edward, darling, stop fussing over her, she will be fine. Look, already she is growing into a fine addition to our stable."_

"_Maria . . . ."_

"_Edward, my special one, leave her to the tender mercies of her new sisters and come with me, I have something I need you to do . . . ."_

_..._

I examine Rose as she gazes at me with rapt attention, I have become rather a good story teller I have to admit, but I am not sure how much to tell her. In my specific case I would always want total honesty and full disclosure, but as a shield I am mindful that I am supposed to be protecting her, not sending her screaming for the soggy lumps that pass as hills here in Forks.

I will tell her the truth, I think, but spare her the embellishments, just as Emmett did.

The change is a funny thing. Very difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced it and an unnecessary conversation for those that have. Every facet of the pain is burnt, pun intended, into your memory.

So, I will just tell her, with some authority that, it is like being burned alive.

Her eyes go as round as saucers.

Oh Rose.

_..._

_For an amount of time I could only hazily determine I was a seething mass of contradictory yet strong emotions and a danger to myself and anything else that moved._

_I craved things. Things my friends and I had only whispered about in dark corners. Things I had heard my father and his friends murmuring about with civic concern. And things I did not even know I could crave._

_I revelled in my strength, my speed and my unbelievably enhanced senses._

_But I was afraid, too afraid to indulge in any of my cravings or the innocent things, like running and sparkling that brought me inexplicable joy._

_And I had apparently been spared death, when my father had not, to awake in the service of the worst kind of monster._

_A conscript, an unwilling soldier for the army of darkness. Over dramatic? Yes, but I was only seventeen and regrettably unworldly when I died._

_No one seemed to care that I had found my own alternative to feeding on the army's sole reason for existence, although many seemed to have noticed and I was quickly dubbed 'Fools Gold'._

_We were a savage bunch, fighting, lusting, hunting and fighting again. To this day I do not how I was not one of the ones needlessly and brutally killed but I suspect I was a testament to some form of evolution. I changed, I adapted and I survived. Shy Isabella became fun and funny Bella, the sarcastic and joking antidote to a painful and pointless existence. My fellow soldiers 'liked' me, they sought me out to listen to their woes and lift their moods, they protected me when our camps became infested with our own special brand of the crazy. Which is not to say that I escaped unscathed, vampires are impossible to kill unless put to the flame but we can be dismembered and though we heal when reunited with our missing parts it is painfully slow, and leaves a permanent scar on our smooth stone skin._

_And Edward? The beautiful man boy who had 'saved' me? I saw him from time to time. He was undoubtedly her pet but I felt drawn to him and his well hidden distress in a way I could not fight, yet I kept my distance from him as he did from me, acutely aware that she would not tolerate my continued existence if it in any way impinged on his ability to pander to her every capricious whim or direct her army to conquer others._

_We fought for territory and food. We fought for blood._

_I was a surprisingly good warrior even amongst vampires. I do not know how and I do not why but I do understand that it was another key to my survival. The strength of a newborn vampire begins to wane after the first year and many of my fellow conscripts were put to death then. Often by the Angel of Death himself. My beautiful Edward._

_In quiet moments between the battles and the crazy my still youthful imagination fancied that he longed to spend time with me as much as I did with him and in some respects I believe my Edward fixation kept me sane and largely kept me, me._

_And like the infatuated child I was I hung on every word spoken about him._

_Cold. Calculating. Arrogant and disdainful. The Mistress's clear favourite among the many. A natural born commander and a natural born killer. Some said his ability was to place himself in the mind of his opponent, others that he could simply read minds. Everyone agreed that his talents weren't confined to winning the Mistress's battles, the women and even some the men spoke of his ability to satisfy her more feminine requirements with inhuman finesse._

_The years moved on counted only by our on-going survival._

_Had I thought about running away? Many times, not everyone that tried it was caught and history had proved that timing was everything._

_But I stayed._

_Because I had to._

_Because Edward stayed._

_..._

Rose requests a comfort break and I hum to myself while she uses the bathroom, I do try to give the humans some privacy even if they're never aware that I'm doing it.

"More?" I ask as she settles herself back in the bed.

"Please." She asks. "I want to understand."

"Edward and I?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I just can't. Um, see what you see in him."

"Isn't he hot enough for you?" I tease.

"Um."

"Say what's on your mind." I urge her.

"I know you love him but, um, well he's always seemed like kind of an, um, jerk."

"Oh Rose." I chuckle. "He can be a damn great big one, but he has his reasons, and that isn't all he is . . . ."

_..._

_Change, when it came, was abrupt and total. _

_I had at least started to detect a pattern in my behaviour by then, I had no idea then what a shield was but I was already starting to behave like one. Inexplicably drawn to vampires and humans alike that needed protection, I was still trying to work it out in my head. It clearly was not everyone that I wanted to protect, though I regretted the human deaths I never felt compelled to attempt to rescue anyone else's meal, it was not until much later that I understood why._

_Maria had gone from strength to strength with Edward leading her armies but we finally met our match._

_A coven in New Mexico._

_The battles were long and vicious, decimating both sides._

_And in the end it took a vampire with a gift of his own to defeat Edward._

_The final fight was the most desperate I had ever been a part of and it was clear from the outset that their plan was to take out Edward and Maria._

_I saw Maria go down and I could have helped her, but I did not. A monster myself I had been waiting and hoping for an enemy to smite her one day. Instead I turned away and went searching through the chaos for Edward. I had no plan, just the skin pricking on the back of my neck and the need to do it . . . ._

_There was fire and smoke, burning bodies of compatriots and enemies alike, wailing and screaming, the indescribably loud thunder of immortal virtually indestructible people coming together in battle. It was hell and though I could hear him shouting orders I could not find him. And as a cadre of the enemy brought me down I was almost sanguine with the fact that I would not, I was probably wrong, he was probably never been mine to save . . . ._

_But just as a vampire's teeth were sinking into my neck he appeared from nowhere and saved me again, lifting me up and carrying me away, it was many years before I asked if he had heard my heartfelt thank you that night._

_He ran like the wind, he had always been the fastest of us, and I just closed my eyes and let him._

...

I move my t-shirt down and arch my neck, I don't know if Rose will be able to see the scars in this light or not, they scream at a vampire but human eyes are usually too weak to pick them out.

"Teeth marks." She says with a shudder.

"Yeah." I sigh regretfully. "Just my luck to get bitten by the biggest set of gnashers in the vampire world."

...

_Eventually he set me down and we made our way north, but did not actually speak to each other for exactly fifteen days, ten hours, forty seven minutes and three seconds._

_Nevertheless we managed to communicate somehow. I quickly realised that he was uncomfortable anywhere around people and eye wateringly uncomfortable anywhere around vampires so we stuck to the wilderness as we travelled. Great for me, the country was awash with animal life in those days, but not so great for Edward. He got paler and paler before my eyes, with huge dark grey circles forming under his black hued eyes. I had never seen a vampire look so starved, not even when Maria was punishing them._

_The tall straight vampire with the proud bearing I had become accustomed to was gradually shrinking in on himself and I had no idea how to help him, or if he would even welcome such an intrusion. So I decided where I was going on my own and was quietly elated with each step he took alongside me._

_I had no idea what post traumatic stress disorder was in those days but Edward was the poster boy for it, sullen and withdrawn for the most part with occasional bouts of alertness bordering on panic or aggression._

_Eventually as we meandered up the country he became noticeably weak. So I made a decision, leaving him moping on a sun washed rock by a river I went hunting and brought him back a buck._

_He sniffed it delicately and his beautiful lip curled up in disdain, rude I know but more life than I had seen in him since he saved mine for a second time. He refused to touch it so I sank down in front of him and drank it myself, with possibly more moans of appreciation than were strictly called for but I dimly recalled that approach working on me when I was a child._

_It did not work on Edward so we moved on. I took us closer to the next town, hoping he would take the hint and feed himself but he grew agitated so I led him away, up into the mountains again._

_And gradually, through my Edward fixation, it dawned on me that I was free. Free from Maria's tyranny, the murders, the fighting, the torture and the abuse. Forever. And I started to wonder what I was actually going to do with myself. Forever. Since I would hardly be following my original life plan of marriage, babies and jealousy inducing housekeeping skills. Fortunately I had not changed enough for bitter regret to be part of my make up but it was certainly a thought provoker, what do you do when you are, possibly, going to live forever?_

_As I sank inside myself to thrash all that out Edward began to come back to life. Small subtle things. I caught him a mountain lion and he actually ate it. I cannot say he looked like he enjoyed it but the improvement in his appearance was dramatic and immediate. He even smiled at me, just the ghost of one._

_We journeyed on and he began to join me on some of my hunts, very occasionally managing to quirk his beautiful lips into the semblance of a smile, to remind me what a heart stopping gorgeous man he could be._

_And then, oh momentous of days, fifteen days, ten hours, forty seven minutes and three seconds after I said "Thank you" as he carried me away from the battlefield, he abruptly said, "I am sorry Isabella, so sorry." And collapsed in a heap._

_..._

"As conversation starters go." I chuckle, remembering. "It wasn't one of his best efforts."

"What was he sorry for?" Rose asks, shaking her head.

"Pretty much everything he'd ever said and done it turned out." I sigh. "He went from silent to loquacious in an instant. My poor beautiful man."

_..._

_We sat there, in the middle of nowhere, as the words poured out of him._

_Edward Anthony Masen was from Chicago, the same as me. Son of a merchant, same as me, well not quite, but close enough, even I had heard of the Masens. Rich, privileged and unerringly arrogant my father had called them._

_A bright future was ahead of him the day Maria came to town and took a liking to him. A grand tour of Europe, the finest education, a beautiful wife and the helm of the family business empire. A little more than I was expecting from life but I could empathise with his loss, just the same._

_Of course the seventeen year old Masen heir was not surprised when the southern beauty was so interested in him at the lavish party his father was throwing. Women had always been interested in him, even before he out grew his puppy fat and short trousers, or more specifically his fortune and prospects. Society mothers, he told me, were like barracuda when it came to making marriages for their daughters. When he did grow one even offered him herself first for purely educational purposes._

_He could not recall what happened that night, merely that he woke, from a pain he had never known, to a new reality he could not fathom. The only constant the beautiful woman who wanted to help him._

_She taught him to hunt, to fight, to cheat, to steal and to lie, all the while explaining to him that as a vampire the only thing he could rely on were those skills and her love for him. He could not forgive himself later, for his blind stupidity and hubris. For not asking enough questions, looking below the surface, listening to his worried inner voice, for believing everything she told him about how special he was and how they were destined for greatness, together. He felt he had allowed her to play him like the piano he was a master of. And by the time they joined the rest of her coven he was struggling so desperately with the rising cacophony of voices in his head, so reliant on her, that he did not see what was really happening around him. It had seemed so easy at first to help the woman who helped him, with every little thing that she needed._

_Maria made Edward a monster before he even realised it and yet though I had been there to see the last years of it for myself I could not think of him as one. And that was not just because of my on-going infatuation with his physical appearance. I had seen, because I had been looking, the real and decent Edward Masen appear far more often than he was giving himself credit for. Mine was not the only life he saved and he saved mine twice. _

_..._

"Edward would argue, and still does, that since he took more lives than he saved it was a moot point. I think the fact that he's aware of that speaks volumes. No one beats up Edward like Edward can, it drives me bat shit crazy at times. We have, as you can imagine, agreed to disagree on that one, for now. Every day I win a little more of the war though, great military tactician he may be but he's no match for my superior womanly awesomeness."

Rose snorts soda down her front and we laugh together for a moment.

"I think I've told you more than enough about Monster Eddie, I don't want you freaking out around him, he can be surprisingly sensitive for such a jerk. Want me to skip to the good bits?"

"There are good bits?" She drawls.

God I love her snark, if not the reasons for it.

"Sure there are, it's just a shame I can't tell you the _best_ bits, what with you being a minor an' all."

"So are you." She objects.

"Touché. Edited highlights only though, some things you should get to find out for yourself later." And I waggle my eyebrows for good measure.

Her smile fades and I mentally kick myself, not so fast Bella, not so fast . . . .


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Sixteen Dog Day Afternoon**

**RPOV**

We didn't get to the _good_ bits, Dad came home early to check on me and Bella performed a perfect back flip out my bedroom window.

Instead I cooked us dinner on autopilot which Dad thankfully assumed was down to my 'illness'.

I mooched around downstairs for a bit after dinner and then took myself off for a soak in the tub.

...

So, since I'm now sober, I guess I believe in vampires.

Not sure what to do with that information, I feel like I've just typed it out in bold as an essay title and am waiting for inspiration to strike about what to actually write.

But really, what am I supposed to do?

Move back to Phoenix. Hmm. Dick over death? I'll take my risks here I guess. Not that it feels like that much of risk. Maybe they do have some glamouring mojo and they've glamoured me into accepting them? Who knows, I sure as shit don't.

I'll admit it though, I'm fascinated by everything they've told me and I want to know more . . . .

...

"You shouldn't come here at the moment Rose." Billy says with a frown as I present myself at his door the next morning.

"I need to talk to Jake."

"He won't talk to you."

"I'd like to try." I respond, setting my jaw.

Dad sent Em away this morning, telling him I was still sick and I waited until _he'd_ left for the station and then hot footed it down here.

Billy regards me in silence.

"I know some stuff." I say with more confidence than I feel.

He raises an eyebrow and waits me out.

"I know what the Whitlocks are and I know what Jake is."

"Did they send you here?"

"They don't know. They told me what they are, what Jake is, and I want to talk to him about it."

"Wait here." Billy says, withdrawing and gently closing the door.

"My best friend's daughter." I hear him growl inside. ". . . . responsibility to help her . . . . don't know that . . . . at least talk . . . ."

It goes quiet for a moment and then there are heavy footsteps and an angry looking Jake wrenches the door open.

"What do you want, leech lover?"

"Leech?"

"Blood suckers."

"Ah, um, nice one?"

"I said what do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to the boy I knew about some crazy shit that's going down but clearly he isn't here so I'll leave."

I turn away and he huffs.

"Wait Rose. I can't, this isn't, you stink . . . ."

"What?" I demand, whirling on him.

"Of leech, they're kinda sickly sweet, it makes me wanna hurl."

"They smell?"

"To us they do."

"Talking of us." I look around carefully, I so do not want to run into the rest of the wolf pack.

"They won't hurt you Rose." He snorts. "We protect humans, we don't eat them, unlike your friends."

"They're vegetarians."

He laughs and shakes his head.

"They're killers Rose. Cold, hard, killers."

"They haven't killed me yet, in fact they've saved my life at least once."

"If you've come here to tell me how great they are you're wasting your breath. We're mortal enemies."

"No, Jake, I don't know what I came here for, I guess maybe when they told me, yesterday, I thought I was going crazy and that if I came here you could tell me that I was just hallucinating and none of it was real."

"Its real Rose." He says, stepping back into the house and preparing to close the door on me. "And they will kill you, one way or another, unless you stay away from them."

"Can't you tell me anything else about them?" I plead.

"Jesus, what else is there?" He snarls. "I'd no idea you were that fucking dumb _blondie_."

"Nice." I laugh bitterly. "Like I haven't heard that fucking joke before, _pup_."

He snarls again and slams the door in my face.

Oh well done Rose, an enormous amount of information you elicited there, a career in diplomacy clearly awaits you . . . .

...

I can't face going back to the house alone so I go to school instead, sorry state of affairs that is when an American teenager goes to school voluntarily.

"You stink." Bella observes as she sits next to me at lunch.

"Et tu, Brutus?" I sigh.

"Wet dog." She hums. "Very pungent, like we'd _want_ to eat anything that tastes like that. Ew."

"There you are!" Angela exclaims, long legs propelling her across the cafeteria like a rocket ship.

"Be afraid." Bella whispers. "Be _very_ afraid."

"Feeling better?" Ang asks, towering over me.

"Yes, much thanks, got bored with hanging around at home."

"I need to ask you a favour." She continues, plonking herself down beside me.

Bella giggle snorts and pretends to be absorbed with her yoghurt.

"I know you said you were allergic to anything with 'church' in the title but I really, really, need your help this weekend."

"Well I guess." I drawl. "If the devil's that busy I could help out just this once. What do you need? Cuss words? Public display of nudity? Ritual chicken beheading."

"No." She laughs, cuffing my shoulder lightly. "Carlisle and Esme are doing an origami stall and I wondered if you and Em would help out with the spelling bee?"

There's so much wrong with that I don't know where to start.

Bella has, accidentally I realise, swallowed some yoghurt and I pat her carefully on the back as Ang continues.

"You know I wouldn't normally ask you but I'm really in trouble, the fair is twice the size this year and I'm out of people I can ask, everyone's already doing something. And Ellen and Joe, who were going to do it have both caught mono."

She seems sweetly surprised about that considering that Ellen and Joe have been joined at the tonsils since the summer.

"Ang, I don't exactly have a track record of any kind with little kids and I'm not sure that's Em's thing either . . . ."

"Oh he'd love it." Bella interrupts. "Em adores kids. They'll do it."

"Thanks." Ang gushes, jumping up and running off, apparently knowing me well enough to quit while she's nominally ahead.

"I'll get you for that." I warn the hysterically laughing vampire next to me.

"Not if my brother gets me first." She snorts. "He was planning to invite you shopping in Seattle on Saturday, he's going to kill me."

And there was me thinking that maybe vampires weren't evil . . . .

"Talking of Em, where is he?"

"Emergency summit." She says.

I roll my eyes at her and pick over my salad, I found a bug in one here last year and haven't quite gotten over it. I mean, how hard can it be to delouse your lettuce before you serve it?

"As you can imagine he knew all about your little side trip this morning, Alice clued him in. He wasn't best pleased."

"What the fuck's it got to do with him?"

"Nothing Rose, he knows that, but he cares about you. He didn't want them upsetting you again and trust me when I tell you that the wolves can be dangerous themselves."

"I might if you told me why." I huff.

"Well obviously they're not wolves all the time, they morph into them as and when required, sometimes accidently. Jasper says that's usually when they're angry, threatened or too young to control themselves properly."

"Jake hasn't been a wolf long, has he?"

"No. You do get a little bit of warning, they usually start to shake before they change, but if you're too close, well, those claws can do a lot of damage, especially to a human."

I shudder, I haven't seen a La Push wolf but I've seen plenty of werewolf movies. I guess that's what Billy was afraid of, that Jake or one of the others would lose it and hurt me accidentally.

"Anyway, these wolves are all new, they started phasing, as they call it, over the summer, none of them were even alive the last time we lived here. Jasper and Edward agree that now is a good time to meet with them and discuss the treaty."

"What's in this treaty, other than territory?"

"We won't kill a human on the Olympic Penninsula and they won't kill us or any of the vampires we're associated with, as long as they behave here too. That about sums it up."

"Won't this emergency summit be a bit dangerous under the circumstances?"

"Only for the doggies if they don't play nice." She says with a careless shrug.

There's a word for the way I'm feeling now, its what they call the peasants that live on the land the two opposing armies are about to rampage over, so Bella would know what it is. But in modern parlance lets just go with _fucked_ shall we?

...

The rest of the day crawls by, my thoughts everywhere but on school.

"I should warn you now." Bella says as we cross the parking lot at the end of the day. "The back of the neck is prickling so I'm going to follow you home from school. We can hang out or I can hang out in your trees, I don't mind either way, its your choice."

I stop walking and turn to look at her.

I'm not eloquent enough, and possibly not mature enough, to find the words to explain to her how out of control I'm feeling right now and how I just want some time to myself to freak out, think or whatever the fuck else it is I need to do to deal with this.

"I thought you were going to stop pushing yourselves into my life?" I growl.

"I did promise that didn't I?" She sighs. "Okay. Go."

"Just like that?" I ask, not sure what I was expecting but pretty sure that wasn't it.

"I can't promise I won't come running if I think I need to and I absolutely won't promise that Em won't. Neither of us can turn off who we are or the way we feel. But we can respect your wishes."

I can't help it, I laugh.

"Did you basically just say that I can have what I want as long as you're happy about it?"

"In so many words?" She asks, squinting comically. "I think I may have done."

"See you tomorrow Bella." I snicker, folding myself into Dave's cold plastic embrace.

...

Since Dad's at work and I don't have any urgent homework I take myself off to bed a stick one of my favourite DVDs into my laptop. I've seen this movie so many times I can skip bits without missing the proverbial beat.

Which is just as well because there's a lot I need to think about, but like a bar of soap in the shower I don't seem to be able to get a grip on any of it, my mind keeps straying to those Coolidge paintings, the ones with dogs playing poker.

Or to Em.

Or to Bella and Edward and how they met.

And to wondering how the emergency summit is going.

Eventually my growling stomach forces me to give up on everything and forage in the kitchen. There isn't much, that tends to happen if you don't go grocery shopping, but I throw something together and take it back up to my room.

"Holy fucking shit!" I scream, tossing the plate in the air and staggering back into the door jamb.

"Sorry." Em apologies, backing up against my closet.

"Can't you use the fucking door like a normal person?" I demand, heart still hammering in my chest.

I glare at him and he disappears before my eyes leaving the drapes swinging wildly.

Then there's a knock at the door.

Growling I stalk downstairs and fling it open.

"Evening." He says with that cocky smirk. "Can I come in?"

I roll my eyes and swing the door shut in his face.

He knocks again.

"Please?" He asks sweetly, when I re-open it, batting his eyelashes at me for good measure.

I turn away so he can't see me smile and he follows me upstairs, pausing briefly to clean up the mess he made me make with his sudden appearance.

I sit on the bed cross legged and he sits in the rocking chair, a familiar and comfortable position for us I realise.

"I thought you might want to know what happened this afternoon." He says after a moment.

"Yeah Em, I need every moment of your day like I need air to breathe."

"Cool." He laughs. "In that case you should know I had a surpisingly tangy deer for lunch, endured a long lecture on wolf wrestling from Professor Edward Platt and a long smelly meeting with the Wolf Pack before coming home to my sweet loving girlfriend."

"Firstly, I am neither sweet nor loving Em and secondly, the jury is out on the whole girlfriend thing."

"Ah." He says, smirk scaling back to cautious smile. "I thought it might be."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Seventeen To Be or Not to Be**

**RPOV**

There's an awkward pause and I find myself suddenly anxious to change the subject I just brought up.

"What about the wolves?" I ask quickly. "What happened?"

"Not much." He says, relaxing slightly. "The leader of the new pack is a guy called Sam Uley, he seems reasonable enough for someone genetically pre-programmed to hate us on sight. I don't think he's ever going to be besties with Edward, but he'll hardly be the odd man out there.

It was extremely tense to start off with but Jasper laid on this special brand of charm, or calm you could call it, and it gradually dialled back to just plain old tense.

The younger ones are all piss and vinegar and were just waiting for an excuse to start something but he seems to have them under tight control. They call the pack leader the Alpha and will follow his commands to the letter. He says the treaty is good so none of them will be able to break it. I'm not sure how that works or if I trust it but Edward can read their minds and he says none of them will be able to go against Sam's word and _him_ I do trust."

I nod.

"We talked about you too."

"Oh."

"They aren't happy that you and I are friends. They think I'm going to kill you. That I'll either lose control, show my true colors and drain you, or that I'll just forget one day, moved too quick and accidentally crush you."

"And will you?"

"I will never lose control of my blood lust around you Rose. Never."

"How can you be so sure? You said mistakes are made."

"Killing you would be a tragedy not a mistake Rose. I'm acclimatised to the scent of your blood."

"Humph. And the accidental squishing?"

"Not going to happen either. I know how to handle something fragile and precious."

"You make me sound like spun glass."

"You are to me." He says quietly.

I shake my head, turning my attention to a loose thread on the bottom of my pjs.

"Anyway, we agreed, in the end, that it was entirely your choice whether or not you wanted to continue to have anything to do with me or my family under the circumstances, and that they wouldn't interfere."

"How very generous of everybody." I drawl. "How were they going to stop me?"

"It wasn't so much you they were planning to stop." He murmurs, watching intently as realisation dawns. "I did say they were spoiling for a fight. Sam's opening position was leave the Chief's daughter alone or you and your family are chew toys."

Oh jesus . . . .

"I don't want to give you a bad impression of me but I was all for taking them up on their challenge, Jasper however is made of more diplomatic and peaceable stuff. He finally got Sam to accept that being supernatural doesn't give you the right to decide what's best for everyone else."

I smile down at my trailing thread, I can just imagine a cocky, smirking, Em making 'come get me' motions at a bunch of oversized dogs with dopey grins and plumy tails.

We lapse into a not totally uncomfortable silence for a while.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I ask, finally looking at him again. "Pick a side? Be Switzerland? Evacuate to Phoenix?"

"Whatever you want." He answers seriously. "_Always_ whatever _you_ want."

Back to the thread. It's quite long and has an interesting little kink in it, like I've caught its smaller self in something and then accidentally made it longer.

What _do_ I want?

I'm pretty sure I can't answer that at the moment. Up until very recently I just wanted to serve my time in Forks and leave. Where I was going and what I was going to do hadn't seemed all that important. But everything's got all twisted up and complicated, and not just because my 'boyfriend's' a vampire and my Dad's best friend's son is a bigoted mutt.

There is Dad for a start. I never expected much from him, in his defence probably because I've barely seen the guy since I was in pig tails. I did, I'll admit, childishly wish every once in a while that he'd just know what was going on and turn up one day to introduce Dick to the pointy end of his shotgun. But of course he never did and I didn't ever blame him for that. And it was my decision, still is, to never _ever_ tell him what was happening. It was originally to protect me, to leave one part of my life unsullied by Dick, one person who didn't think I was shit on their shoe. But now I'm getting to know Dad and I realise he'd stick the pointy end of his shotgun up Dick's ass, without Vaseline, before he pulled the trigger, I need to protect him too. He doesn't need to do that for me, he's a seriously cool guy. And I love him.

I'm sensible enough to know that there isn't a massively successful future for me in Forks, but I've become happy enough here not to be in such a rush to leave. Thanks to Dad, Ang, Mrs R, Ben, Em and Bella.

So. Rose is happy in Forks with the things that go bump in the night. I don't share Jake's view that they're the be all and end all of evil. They actually seem like decent people to me. Jasper's a good Doctor, the townsfolk love him. Alice supports all the local business and charities, Esme and Carlisle are active with the church and Bella and Em are my friends. Still can't think of a good thing to say about Monster Eddie except that he hasn't killed me yet . . . .

Which just leaves my current relationship status.

I was quite happy to be dating a gay guy. What's the diff in dating a gay vampire? I mean, I can admit it, I like Em, I'd miss him if he wasn't around and this whole gig still has a finite lifespan on it, doesn't it? They've gotta move when we graduate anyway cos they don't age and even some of the people in this town are bound to notice that after a while. So why does anything have to change?

Um, Rose? They're dangerous? You're food? Dinner with Billy, Dad and Jake is gonna be real awkward from now on?

I glance up at Em, waiting patiently, and make a snap decision.

"I've never been a dog person." I admit, smiling as he throws his head back and howls with mirth.

I kinda love his laugh when he really lets go, especially when I don't have a hangover.

Eventually the laugher tails off and he becomes sober and serious again, a little concerned looking in fact.

"So." He sighs. "Where does that leave us on the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing?"

I have a strong and as yet unconfirmed suspicion . . . .

"You're not actually gay, are you?"

"Nope, not even curious, and I usually like to try everything at _least_ once."

"_Ew_."

"Might as well know what you're getting Rose, you have to take the rough with the smooth with me. Alice has been 'polishing' me for years but I'm basically the same yahoo who went to seek his fortune with a couple of dollars in his pocket and hole in the seat of his pants."

I shake my head and laugh, albeit sadly.

"Rose." His voice is quiet and serious. "Look at me."

An easy request to grant, he's quite something to look at.

"I know you won't want to hear but I said I couldn't _do_ those things, kiss or hold you the way I want to, not that I didn't _want_ to. I'm a vampire and you're a human. That's shit I want to work out with you. You're afraid and I don't want you to be, that's shit I want to work out with you. You don't see how amazing you are. I do. That's definitely something I want to work out with you. I'll be anything you need me to be, but please don't for one moment think that I don't want to be everything a man can be for a woman. For you."

I shake my head again, automatically.

"Nothing has to change Rose."

"Yes it does Em, eventually. You'll get frustrated. I'll get freaked out. And I'll lose someone I . . . . a friend."

"No you won't."

I shake my head again as tears spill down my cheeks. I never thought I'd want . . . . but I do and between my issues and his . . . . it's doomed to failure before it starts isn't it?

"Fucking Dick." I mumble.

"You've got that right." He growls quietly.

"Em . . . ."

"You said you'd try." He says. "Will you, again, for me, for yourself, _please_?"

I should tell him the truth, now, he probably wouldn't want to look at me again and I could just pick up the pieces and move on, I can do that, I have form . . . .

But he says nothing has to change and I'd be happy if it didn't. I _am_ happy. He makes me happy.

"No skull crushing with one hand."

"Absolutely not."

"I don't have to eat your Mom's cooking."

"No one should have to eat Alice's cooking."

"Neither you nor a member of your family will eat me."

"Not even Carlisle, I promise."

"And you won't ever ask me to do something I'm not comfortable doing."

"Can I push boundaries?"

"If you were a normal boy now would be the time I explain to you how I can turn your balls into earrings with one well placed kick. But you're not, so I need your word Em, I need to be able to trust you."

"Rose, if you can't trust me you can't trust anybody."

I raise my eyebrow.

"Rosalie Honey Hale. You can trust me to only ever do what is right for you."

"You know my middle name?" Stupid hippy throwback parents.

"You can't keep secrets from Emmett McCarty Whitlock."

"I bet I can." I drawl.

"I bet you're going to try." He chuckles happily.

...

He picks me up in the morning as if there isn't anything remotely strange about our lives and I, Rosalie Honey Hale, seem to have acquired an actual boyfriend.

Let's see how long this lasts . . . .

...

"I can't believe we're doing this." I grumble as we pull up near the church at insane o'clock on Saturday morning.

"Neither can I." Em laughs, joining me on the well manicured lawn. "Es and Carlisle have been trying to get me involved with the Lord's work for years and all it took in the end was one tiny little sister, who knew?"

"Are you sure this okay?" I ask as he takes my hand. "You're not gonna turn into a crispy critter the minute we cross the threshold or anything?"

"Aw, you care about me?"

"I care about sweeping up the ashes, I wasn't designed for that much manual labor."

He pokes his tongue out at me briefly and then drags me toward my doom.

...

"My head hurts."

"Already?"

"Already. Between Ang's squealing because we actually turned up and all the kids screaming I'm about ready to lie down in a darkened room. I didn't know there were even this many people _in_ Forks."

"Well buck up, here comes the Chief."

I groan.

"Rose, Emmett."

"Dad."

"Chief."

"I heard a rumour but I had to come check it out for myself. My daughter in church, it hardly seemed credible."

"Funny." I huff. "Just don't take the test, your spelling sucks."

"Now, now Rose." He laughs, rocking back on his heels with his thumbs crooked in his gun belt the way only a policeman can. "I can spell cranky well enough."

"Come on Chief." Em grins, producing our 'advanced' list of spelling bee words. "You're not going to let her diss your mastery of the language are you?"

"Nice try Whitlock." Dad hums. "Want me to go check out that ludicrous truck of yours? I haven't done it for a while, you may have made some more modifications that break a law or two."

"Move along Chief." Em chuckles, hiding the laminated sheet behind his back. "Nothing to prove here."

"I didn't think there would be. Rose." He tips his hat at me. "Emmett."

And then he saunters off, laughing.

...

"Thank god that's over but dinner, really?"

"I don't have to eat but you do, what sort of boyfriend would I be if I didn't attend to your needs?"

"A normal one?"

"Very funny. You'll have to choose, Italian or Chinese, it all smells like dirt to me."

"Italian. And that's not very romantic."

"You want romance?"

"Doesn't every girl?"

"Challenge accepted Honey."

"You need to drop the middle name or I'll get Bella to kick your ass for me."

"As if." He snorts as we pull up outside the diner. Italian or Chinese, they have at least one dish of each on the menu.

"We both know she could." I observe, letting him come round and open my door.

"Yes we do." He allows. "But we don't have to say so out loud, we have a male ego to protect."

I'm still laughing as he escorts me past Mike Newton and affects a gay little wave at him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Eighteen Romancing the Stone**

**BPOV**

"I love the sun." I moan, tilting my face up to enjoy it. "But it does cramp a vampire's style somewhat."

"Your style?" Rose huffs, peeved because this time it's the weather that's prevented her Seattle trip with Em.

They're so cute together it almost makes me wish I could still get nauseous, but they have a long way to go so I'll hang onto the flags for now.

"I can't believe." She continues. "That you're lying there in a bikini and I'm bundled up like Nanook of the North."

"I don't feel the cold." I remind her easily.

"And you won't get a tan either." She snarls.

"Ouch." I laugh. "I see you brought your inner bitch out to play today."

"Sorry." She sighs. "I never thought I'd see the day when the outbreak of sun in Forks could piss me off."

"Here." I suggest, tossing her a bag of chips. "Feed the inner bitch and let me sunbathe in peace."

"You do know that feeding the human isn't the cure to all ills." She drawls.

"Yes, but it is remarkably effective at shutting you up."

She munches for a while and then clears her throat.

"What?"

"You, um, never got to tell me the good bits."

"I didn't, did I?"

...

_I do not know how most people would have taken Edward's mini breakdown but for me it was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day. A sign of hope._

_Of course everything in our lives did not suddenly become a bed of roses but at least we were talking, getting to know each other beyond our shared and somewhat less than happy past. I had two burning questions for him but I was holding them back, unsure when, if ever, I would be able to ask._

_To begin with he spoke mostly about his human life, what he could remember of it and beyond the sense of entitlement that comes with great wealth I got a look at the man he would have become. Educated, forward thinking, liberal and basically kind. A patron of the arts and eventually benevolent father to a dynasty._

_We both knew, and did not need to say, that he was never going to become that man now._

_Where we disagreed was on what that meant._

_I believed with all of my heart that he could become another form of good man._

_He believed he was only a monster who did not deserve to live but was condemned not to die._

_It is difficult to explain how I felt about Edward in those early days. I had only briefly met the handsome debonair man who engaged with me in the market place but I wanted, perhaps foolishly, him to be inside the morose shell of an ex monster that was currently walking beside me._

_When I realised I was unconsciously heading toward Chicago I stopped, sensing that it would not be good for Edward to go there._

_He did not seem bothered that we were no longer moving and so I formed a plan._

_Not much of one._

_I robbed a bank, it wasn't as daring as it sounded. I waited until the whole town was asleep and then dropped down the chimney. Ripping the door off the safe was child's play._

...

"You robbed a bank?" Rose snorts with amusement.

"Yep, and you think you're bad ass."

"How much did you get?"

"About two thousand dollars."

She snorts again.

"Please bitch, that was a lot of money back in the day, we were rich."

...

_I rented us a place on the edge of small town in Missouri._

_Far enough from town for all the minds not to bother Edward but close enough for me to ride in every once in a while and seem normal._

...

"You had a horse?"

"I had a horse, her name was Maybelline, she was an ugly old thing but I loved her. It would have looked odd for me to walk in, everyone had a horse in those days, just like they do cars now."

"What happened to her?"

"Edward ate her."

"Oh."

"The poor man was having a bad day and it was either that or the Preacher. I'd have probably missed the Preacher slightly less in fairness, but what can you do?"

...

_I bought a piano, the townsfolk thought I was mad but Edward was enchanted._

_And so the time passed by._

_His eyes became as gold as mine though we rarely hunted together, he seemed ashamed of the savage grace that made me want to do wicked things to him._

_I grew vegetables and read all the books I had 'borrowed' from the local libraries and houses, there was not much else to do. And I did it all to the backdrop of Edward playing the piano. I thought his beautiful soul was on display in many of the pieces he played. He said the devil had all the best music._

_I did wonder how long this would go on for but I was not willing to push it, him, in any way. This was peace, heaven on earth._

_Fate however seemed determined to see if she could break him._

_Eventually other vampires found us and with them they brought news of the end of what was being called the Southern Vampire Wars._

_They did not linger long. Edward was less than friendly and in some cases, if he did not like what he read in their minds, downright violent._

_This was how I eventually found out that he could not read my mind and never had, not even when I was a human. It was part of what piqued his interest in me, my blessed mental silence. After we sent our last 'guests' away with appendages to re-attach later he entered one of his more talkative periods and told me, for the first time, what it is really like to read minds. And to read minds in an unremitting atmosphere of misery and violence. How hard it could be, in the early days, to tell other people's vile thoughts and wants from his own._

...

"If he could read minds." Rose asks dubiously. "How come he couldn't tell Maria was the anti-christ in a corset?"

"Edward spoke fluent French and a little German, languages his father felt appropriate for a young man about to embark on a Grand Tour. But he didn't speak Spanish or Latin, or any of the other languages she thought in to keep him out of her head. He started to 'learn' one, she switched to another one."

"Shouldn't that have clued him in that she wasn't exactly his friend?" She drawls.

"Maybe. He was seventeen, thought he was in love, and had a dictionary's worth of other people's words running around in his head. Cut the boy some slack. Besides if my shield didn't give me natural immunity from his gift I'd be working out ways to keep him out of my head too. I love him and I'm never going to tire of the fact that he loves me but there are certain things that should remain a mystery, trust me."

"M-kay."

"Alright." I sigh. "Moving on."

...

_One of our visitors was a vampire called James._

_He had his own gift, he was a tracker. And his own set of issues, he was basically a psychopath that some idiot had decided would make a good vampire._

_Edward chased him off._

_But this one loved a challenge and decided to come back._

_He was devious and stealthy, he and his coven, a rabid redhead called Victoria and a dissolute Frenchman called Laurent, snatched me from Mabeline's replacement as we made our way into town one day._

_He wanted to leave a trail of breadcrumbs and play a nice long game that ended in my death and Edward's._

_He had seriously underestimated Edward._

_He found us within two hours and had killed all three of them within five seconds._

_My Angel of Death._

...

"Oh my god." She gasps.

"Edward has always been a highly motivated self starter." I explain. "And not especially interested in talking things out and looking for peaceful solutions. He's more of a rip now, talk if you survive kind of guy."

...

"_Isabella, are you alright?" He asked, gathering me into his arms._

"_Bella." I whispered, taking a moment to mentally re-group and assess the damage. "And I will be."_

_As nasty vampires go James and his friends were largely amateurs but it does sting, being dismembered._

_He held me while my wounds knitted together and I pretended not to enjoy it._

"_It is so wrong." He said, studying my face intently as it rested against his chest. "That I condemned you to this life yet reap the most benefits from it."_

"_You saved my life."_

_He snorts and closes his eyes, his grip tightening on me._

"_Edward. I would rather be here, right now, than not."_

_That made him angry and he laid me very carefully on the ground before storming off, disappearing through the smoke of James's pyre like Rhett Butler through the fog._

_And that's when I realised._

_I had heard talk in the camps about Mates. Mythical connections between vampires, destined to be together forever. Rare, but strong enough to move mountains._

_I wanted that for me. I wanted that from him._

_If nothing else reminded me that I was only seventeen, that was it._

_A Masen and a Swan? Fated to be together? Ridiculous. I should be happy only that I might be able to help him, and I had no hard evidence yet that I could. He was still so, damaged . . . ._

_I followed him home but he did not speak to me for several days, he did not play his piano either. He sat, like a stone, on our porch and stared at nothing._

_The skin on the back of my neck prickled but though I was learning what that meant I did not know what to do about it._

_I was in love with a man who quite possibly was not capable of loving anyone or anything back._

...

"Man was I depressed." I sigh, remembering.

"Can vampires get depressed?"

"Clinically? No. But we can sure get miserable given half a chance. Everything we feel is more intense, I'm told, than what a human would feel."

...

_I wondered how long he could sit on the porch before moss started growing on him, he was already gathering dust and turning grey with hunger again before my eyes._

_I caught a prime mountain lion and brought it to him._

_He ignored it, and me._

_And I pitched a fit, something I have never done in my entire life, before or since._

_Physically attacking the Angel of Death was perhaps not my smartest move. He might have looked like he had actually turned to stone but he had not, he was still far quicker, far stronger, and far more lethal than me._

_I was pinned beneath him in an instant._

_So I took leave of my final sense. I kissed him._

_He froze._

_I froze._

...

"You've heard of long pauses, pregnant with import?" I ask her.

She just nods, absorbed . . . .

...

_I was making my escape plans and my excuses when his full sculpted lips crashed back into mine, urgent and needy._

_And I finally did it. I let go of my human inhibitions and embraced, literally, what I wanted._

_We rolled across the yard, grasping at each other frantically, lips and teeth clashing with an intensity that reminded me of battle in some insane way. Clothes were shredded, flesh was grabbed, tongues duelled and animalistic noises were made._

_And there did not seem to be anything wrong when I found myself underneath him, with his hardness poised against my softness._

_Nothing at all._

_I wanted it, for the first time, and I wanted him._

_All of him._

_I loved him._

"_I love you." He moaned into my neck, then he leapt away from me like a scalded cat. "I have always loved you."_

...

"He ran _off_?" Rose gasps in shock.

"He certainly did. And trust me, it wasn't any less upsetting in those days than it would be now."

"What did you do?"

...

_I had always been taught, and had acknowledged, that patience and acceptance were womanly virtues._

_But none of the people that taught me that were vampires, and none of them were there when I was fighting for survival like any other animal._

_As I lay there in the dirt I realised, once and for all, that Isabella Swan was dead and Bella Swan had earned her chance to rise from the ashes._

_I got to my feet._

_I made a token effort at re-arranging my clothing._

_And I went after his fleeing form._

_Of course I could not catch him so it was just as well that he slowed enough to let me._

"_It is not alright Edward Anthony Masen for you tell me you love me and then run away. I will not allow it." I stamped my foot too._

"_Of all the sins I have committed, changing you because I could not bear the idea of you dying was the worst." He said hunching in on himself and balling his fists._

"_Really? I know you. The worst? What about Sacramento?"_

_He flinched._

_And I both hated and loved that._

"_You earned your Angel of Death wings that night, how was saving my life worse?"_

"_You want to be like this?"_

"_If it means I am with you? Yes."_

...

"Your generation didn't invent girl power, just so you know, girls have always been powerful."

...

_He whirled on me, eyes flashing._

"_You do not know what you are saying." He growled._

"_I am so sorry. Poor little woman that I am. Of course I do not."_

_He blinked._

_I loved that._

"_Do not tell a woman who has fought alongside you for years that she does not know what she wants Edward."_

"_James almost killed you because of me."_

"_A lot of people have almost killed me because of you, including Maria." I reminded him. "What makes him any different?"_

"_You are deliberately failing to understand me." He snarled with all his old arrogance._

...

"Jerk." Rose snorts.

"Oh yeah." I agree. "But by that point I was starting to hope he might be _my_ jerk so I was prepared to let that one slide."

...

"_No Edward." I informed him. "I am deliberately ensuring that you, understand me."_

"_Isabella, Bella . . . ." His voice is soft now, pleading along with his once again dark eyes._

"_I have my own gift Edward. I could have left Maria, the army, any time that I wanted to. Why do you think I did not?"_

"_We did not know, had no idea, that there was another way to live, I am so sorry . . . ."_

"_No. We did not. But that is not the reason."_

_He shook his head, denying._

"_You needed me."_

_He opens his mouth and then closes it again._

"_You needed me. I know that even if you do not. It is not anything to be ashamed of Edward. I need you too."_

"_I cannot, Bella, even if I wanted to I do not know how to be anything but a danger and a burden to you."_

"_What do you want Edward? Do you want to walk away now to spare me the further 'burden' of your presence?"_

_It was eerily silent as we stared at each other._

_My neck was prickling like a thing possessed and I started to wonder if the new Bella Swan was pushing him too far too fast. But told me he loved me, damn him . . . ._

"_No." He could speak so quietly, so softly, like a caress from the finest of silks. "I do not want to walk away from you."_

...

"I'd like to be able to tell you that fulsome declarations and sweet yet rampant love were made at that point but this is Edward we're talking about and it was going to take quite a bit _longer_ than that. He did however hold my hand, which was nice."


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Nineteen Try, Try Again**

**RPOV**

"You always were obsessed with my hands." Edward drawls from behind me, eliciting a scream from me which makes him laugh quietly.

"She still does not like me Bella." He continues, hunkering down beside her and gently touching the back of his hand to her cheek.

I'm not a particularly sensitive person but the love rolling off him is practically visible it's so strong.

This thought earns me a small smile from him and I wince inwardly. The mind reading thing is so barely credible I just don't seem to be able to remember that he can do it.

"Then I shall have to improve my story telling skills." Bella whispers, caressing his cheek in return. "And perhaps you could try to stop avoiding her, to know you is to love you, after all."

"Yuck." Em groans as he sprawls out beside me, eliciting another, slightly quieter scream. "You see what I have to put up with? If it's not these two, who are by the way, the absolute _worst_, its Es and Carlisle or Jasper and Alice. You see why I need a girlfriend Rose?"

"Em." I laugh, shaking my head. "If it's loving touches and adoring glances you wanted you kinda picked the wrong girl."

"I know." He sighs, stretching out and pretending to sunbathe. "But your Dad has a no returns policy so I guess I'm stuck with you."

I'm about to verbally zing him one when Alice appears, at least she lets me see her before she speaks, polite woman that she is.

"Now, now, children." She trills. "I'm sorry about the shopping Rose, if it's any consolation next Saturday looks like being a lovely day for the pair of you. However, I have foreseen that if you all go dancing tonight it's going to work out _perfectly_ for everybody."

"Can't argue with the one that sees the future." Em says. "You in _honey_?"

"Emmett . . . ." I snarl as the others laugh.

...

"You know the drill Rose, do I need to actually go through the whole lecture?" Dad drawls as Em helps me into my coat.

"No Dad, best behaviour."

"Whitlock, I'm holding that cell with your name on."

"Yes Chief." Em chuckles, throwing him a casual salute as we exit. "Mom's already working on some drapes for it."

I close the door on Dad's hearty laughter.

...

We decided to go to the same club since Bella and I like the music and Em liked the ambience. Edward had gone back to stern and silent so who knows what he liked, other than Bella.

I hadn't thought about the way I was dressed, having got out of the habit since leaving Phoenix and vampires may be fast, but Em wasn't fast enough not to get caught checking out my legs. They are awesome legs though, or so I've been told on more than one occasion.

Feeling relaxed as ever in Em's presence I let a bit more sway into my hips and sashayed ahead of him onto the dance floor.

I danced less frantically this time, which meant Em and I could at least carry on some kind of conversation, but nevertheless I needed a rest eventually and Edward silently provided me with one of those violent green but tasty caffeine drinks.

Edward doesn't dance apparently so when I had quaffed it Bella dragged me onto the dance floor and we went a bit nuts . . . .

I hadn't realised we were drawing an admiring crowd until Em and Edward slid between us and danced us off in different directions.

"I thought Edward didn't dance." I yell up into Em's ear.

"Oh he'll dance if he as to." Em laughs straight into mine, which tickles. "Especially if it means no one will be ogling Bella, I don't have a problem with the guys who were admiring you, so long as they're polite about it and don't do anything you won't like but Edward can't handle it, it um, brings out his bad side."

"Bad side?"

"Monster Eddie." He says. "Trust me, you don't wanna know."

...

We dance on and eventually he asks me if I'm ready to leave, I'm not, but he seems to want to.

He guides me out and hands me into the truck, heading back toward Forks.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. You said you wanted romance so I'm providing some."

"Em, I . . . ."

"Relax Rose, it's just a little innocent romance, don't spoil it for me."

"Where did you learn to pout like that?" I huff.

"Magazines and underwear commercials, is it working?"

"No."

...

"A picnic?" I ask, gazing at the spread blanket, basket, champagne bucket and casually arranged candles out here among the moss covered trees.

"I didn't think you'd be impressed with a freshly slaughtered bear and some rocks to crush."

"Ah." I giggle. "No."

"I wasn't sure about providing you with anymore alcohol but Alice told me that champagne's a must for this sort of thing, do you want some?"

I shrug. I love it but I haven't had it since Phoenix, Dick always had Mom keep a couple of bottles in the refrigerator.

He blurs around for a moment, something I'm getting used to, and then hands me a cold moist glass.

"Who laid all this out?" I ask as he helps me settle on the blanket.

"Es and Carlisle, they're the real romantics in the family and they owe me _big_ time for all the crap I've hauled into the middle of nowhere for them over the years. He persuaded Edward to play the piano for them once but it was me that had to carry the damn thing up to the top of a mountain."

"I can't get my head round what it must be like to be a vampire." I sigh as he arranges himself next to me, casting another furtive glance at my legs.

"It's a lot like being a human." He says, watching me savour my sip of champagne. "But with _awesome_ extras."

"You don't mind being, um . . . ."

"Dead?"

"I guess."

"Not really. I had four brothers and two sisters, and I already had nephews and nieces running around when I was growing up, Ma was a sturdy woman. I would have loved a family of my own, but there was no guarantee I would have got one if I'd stayed human, and this life is much better than dead."

"You never really told me, how you, um . . . ."

"I will Rose, just not tonight okay? I'm a yahoo but even I know _that's_ not romantic."

No, I guess not.

"So tell me about the awesome bits then."

...

Emmett McCarty Whitlock is an absolute nightmare and I pity his poor family and almost every human he's ever come in contact with, and not just the ones he's eaten. But fuck his stories are funny, my stomach hurts from laughing. He even thinks he was the inspiration for superheroes thanks to an incident with his long johns, Alice's apple catchers and a very surprised, and traumatised, mugger.

"Hold still." He says, suddenly as I'm about to set my empty champagne flute down. "I want to try something."

"What are you going to do to me?" I giggle as he leans toward me.

"Kiss you."

My mouth pops open but no words come, I don't not want him to but to describe me as terrified would be something of a fucking understatement.

"Don't be afraid Rose." He whispers. "I've got you . . . . "

His lips are cool and firm as they press against mine and I drag in a shocked breath that turns out to be all Eau de Em and a lot more pleasant than I would have guessed . . . .

My lips yield to his of their own accord, tingling strangely.

And then it's over.

My mouth is still slightly open as he hands me the last of the ___canapés_ and a fresh glass of champagne.

"I have to tell you about Edward and the eagle." He chuckles. "You wouldn't believe what a d-e-drama queen he can be sometimes . . . ."

...

He conscientiously packs up my picnic and guides me back to his truck. It's very late, early, now, and I'm struggling to suppress my yawns, not that I want this night to end, but I'm just human, and I need sleep. And the cold is finally getting to me.

He helps me into the truck and hops in himself, starting the engine and setting the heaters to full blast.

"I wish I could warm you up." He says sadly. "That's not such a great thing about being a vampire."

"I'm okay."

"You're shivering, it's killing me."

"I'm okay." I repeat. "I've had a wonderful night and the heating will kick in in a minute."

He backs the truck up but doesn't pull out onto the highway.

"I want to kiss you again." He confesses after a moment.

I don't know what to say. I didn't freak out, go for it, doesn't seem very romantic. Neither does, let's not push our luck.

While I'm still thinking about it he leans in again, pressing those perfect lips back against mine.

I might not know what to do but the lips apparently do, they respond with alacrity, moving enthusiastically against his. There's that weird tingling again and a host of other stuff that I barely manage to even acknowledge before it's once again over.

"I'd better get you home." He observes as we drive off. "Edward says the Chief isn't entirely joking about holding a cell for me."

...

Em walks me to the door and then bursts out laughing, it takes me a moment or two longer to work out why.

Pinned to the door is a note in Dad's unmistakable scrawl.

'I have gone to bed. He may come in and then he may wake me, briefly and carefully, to let me know he has returned you safely. Then he needs to get the fuck out of my house.'

"The Chief is a clearly a man who believes his words will be obeyed." Em says, tearing it off the door.

"It's not the bible." I shrug. "I think its more guidelines and a declaration of intent."

"Okay. I'll go tell him your home and then I'll leave noisily and meet you in your room."

"You will?" I ask, arching my eyebrow, but more than happy for our evening not to end just yet.

He smiles, cupping my face gently with his big hands.

"I will, unless you tell me not to."

I open my mouth but Dad beats me to it.

"For the love of god get in the house." He yells. "I'm trying to get back to sleep here."

Em and I are cracking up as we enter and he heads straight upstairs do his 'duty' while I ease of my heels and massage my aching feet. I love to dance, but my feet wouldn't always agree with me. They were the least of my problems though . . . .

"Hey." Em says softly, appearing before me as if by magic. "Not tonight honey, please."

"Okay Em." I promise, not tonight.

"Good night baby." He says loudly, making out for a full minute, noisily, with his own arm.

I try not laugh out loud but I'm not sure how successful I was.

"Good night Em." I say, equally loudly.

"Just fucking leave already." Dad shouts.

"Night Chief!"

Silence.

Em smirks and then lets himself out.

Shaking my head but smiling I traipse upstairs.

"He'd better not be lurking around underneath your window." Dad grumbles as I cross the landing.

"He wouldn't dare." I fling back.

"Humph. Night baby."

"Night Dad."

...

I wait by the open window and I'm neither surprised nor appalled when he leaps through it, pressing his lips urgently against mine.

The tingle goes way further than my lips this time and it isn't long before I step back, overwhelmed.

His lips release me from their spell and I fall back on the bed.

He's dangerous, this boy, and not just because I'm potentially his dinner.

...

Once again he deftly moves us away from the things that terrify me, and may well start to obsess me, and onto innocuous subjects.

Not that we can't manage to get into a disagreement over music, I mean, I know he's old, but really?

"I'll take you." He declares.

"Please, I have no interest in a gig where the main act are on zimmer frames."

"Philistine."

"Geriatric."

"Can I kiss you again?"

Oh now. The last couple were as spontaneous as they could get considering my acknowledged issues. But this is a bit different. He's in his rocking chair and I'm sprawled out on the bed. I'll have to deliberately choose to kiss him.

Asshole.

He knows that and he's asking me for more than just a lip lock. He's asking me to formally choose to trust him.

And I, can't.

No matter how much I want to.

"You promised not to push me."

"Actually I only ever promised to do what's right for you."

So he did I recall.

"Fuck you."

He shrugs, apologetic and unsmiling.

And I hate him, absolutely _hate_ him with a passion, because I know what's coming . . . .

"Tell me."

"I can't."

He tilts his head and looks at me consideringly.

"I can't." I repeat.

"Rose, I'm pretty sure you can do anything if you want to, you're that kind of person."

"Em, I can't."

"You won't, that's different."

Tears are already leaking out of my eyes.

"You'll hate me."

"No I won't."

I shake my head, he will, and just when I've decided I don't want him to.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. THIS is one of them!**

**Chapter Twenty The King and I**

**RPOV**

There's a moment, when you have to decide whether or not you're going to do something.

And I think, that I actually _could_ tell him.

Given what he's shared with me, I probably _should_ tell him.

But, and it's a big but now, how's he going to feel about me when I _do_ tell him?

He's not an idiot and with his hearing he must have been exposed to a few stories like mine in his time, hell his little sister hasn't exactly sailed through life unscathed and he _loves_ her. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to shock him. But he's not going to see me the same way afterwards, is he?

I mean, I know I'm not the slut they said I was but, I could have done more, should have done more.

_..._

_Richard Royce King._

_He owned our local car dealership. Blonde and tan, with a sparkling array of teeth that wouldn't have disappointed a horse. Not that they detracted from his overall hotness, we were all in agreement, there was no way home from school that didn't involve a stroll past his lot because the mechanics weren't hard on the eye either. He was also rich and the girls at our school? Rich and hot did it for us every time._

_I was impressed when Mom started dating him, her previous choices had all seemed a little pathetic compared to Dad. I mean, I didn't see him very often but he was good looking, filled out a uniform rather well and all her friends joked about standing in line for her ex to notice them._

_Rich King was always very complimentary toward me, and I did like to be admired. _

_Did I flirt with him?_

_Oh yeah. Mom would often come downstairs, ready for their dates, to find the pair of us nose to nose on the couch._

_I was fifteen and he was a witty and urbane man._

_Did I fancy him? _

_I guess, but not in any serious way, I mean, he was 'old'. And he was Mom's. As they got closer and closer and I was both happy and impressed. She'd seemed so old and faded in the last few years and suddenly she'd blossomed with his love and attention._

_He showered the both of us with gifts._

_And I felt the warm fuzzies toward him. Especially when he introduced Mom and me to people proudly as the two beautiful women in his life. I was thrilled for Mom, though she never told me why she left Dad it hadn't been easy for her after we moved to Phoenix. And Rich was okay, beyond the wealth and generosity. A girl in my class, her Step was a total douche, never stopped telling her she was a financial burden he didn't want and if she didn't get into college she'd better find a nice big cardboard box to live in. Rich went out of his way to reassure Mom and me that we were a two for one deal and I'd always have a place in his house._

_Their engagement party was a lavish affair, his house was amazing and the dresses he'd gifted us with were unbelievable. For once I didn't feel like the poor girl in the mix, there was a band, lights, awesome food and he didn't have a problem with my friends and me quaffing his champagne and then throwing ourselves in his pool._

_I was so happy that night as my BFF and I passed out in his pool house that I thought I'd died and gone to heaven._

_..._

"You sure you want to hear this?"

"Its time." He murmurs, setting the old chair to rock.

Maybe it is, before this goes too far.

Better to rip the band-aid off quick, right?

_..._

_I woke up in the dead of night with his hand on my breast._

_It was time to pay the piper he said._

_My Mom's future happiness was intrinsically linked with his, he said._

_His lips were warm and flabby as they closed over mine._

_I couldn't help it, flinging him away from me was instinctive._

_He wasn't pleased._

_We told everyone I was drunk and broke my wrist falling over in the pool house . . . ._

_I'd thought, naively, that unpleasant though that was, it would be the end of it, I mean, I was hardly victim material, was I? I wasn't a little kid and we'd established early on that I was gonna fight back._

_I know, now, that I should have told Mom then, but I didn't. I didn't want to hurt her, she was so happy and I truly thought I didn't need to. I handled it. As horrific as it was, hell I was even a teeny tiny bit proud of myself for handling it._

_I don't know what you'd call him. He was neither all molester nor all fists. He was some kind of . . . ._

_Things went back to normal and though I was obviously a little less inclined to be around him we'd moved into his house after the wedding so I guess it was a new kind of normal. _

_And then it happened again._

_Mom left for work early one morning and he offered to drive me to school, I didn't see why not._

_He grabbed me in the garage, well, technically he grabbed me in the ass._

_We tussled, I got a black eye, and he laughed as he drove away and left me lying on the garage floor._

_Maybe it would have been okay if I'd told Mom then, but I didn't and not just because he'd made it clear how badly she'd suffer if I did._

_Of course I didn't want to let my Mom down or ruin her life._

_So he had me._

_He'd feel me up and beat me if I fought back._

_It became a sort of 'Hobson's Choice'._

_And the longer it went on the more I became aware of how 'disappointed and hurt' she would be if she knew what a 'dissolute whore' I was, how little she or anyone or else would 'think of me' if they knew._

_Whatever happened I was always in the wrong._

_I tried on one of her dresses for a school dance, I'd have asked before I borrowed it. She still thinks I ruined it because I was a spoilt bitch, acting out. We never told her that Dick caught me revolving in front of the mirror and ripped it off me, we never showed her the welts down my back, left by his nails._

_We didn't tell her why I really started to come home in the middle of the night, better she believed I was a normal slut and wastrel than knew the truth. She wasn't the only Mom at the time whose teenage daughter was going off the rails and I sometimes wondered if she 'enjoyed' having what she thought of as a problem child. I was kind of fashionable for a while I suppose._

_Did I always manage to avoid him?_

_No._

_I was blind drunk when I broke my leg falling off our balcony onto the deck. No need to add that Dick's hand was down my pants at the time and the fucker was lucky he didn't tumble over after me._

_He leant on my leg in the emergency room, before they set it, just to remind me that certain aspects of my accident were private. Like I didn't know well enough by then._

_In those days it just was, it isn't right to say I accepted it, but I don't know how else to explain it. Molest me, beat me, blame me, threaten me. It was the new new normal._

_It got harder and harder to simply to exist, so much for me not being a victim._

_I wanted to kill him._

_Don't misunderstand me. That's not teenage angst talking. I. Wanted. To. Kill. Him._

_And, sometimes, her. For being so oblivious to what was going on under her nose. She was disdainful of my frequent trips to the emergency room, telling everyone she couldn't understand how she'd come to acquire such a graceless daughter._

_But the thing was, I was learning, the more I tried to avoid him, or sought to fight back in some way, the worse he got._

_But if I thought it was getting worse I wasn't prepared for what happened the first time she caught him feeling me up._

_We were going to a dance at the country club, I made the mistake of getting ready and being downstairs too early._

_He was busy telling me what a whore I was, groping my breasts and pressing me so hard into the fireplace I'd have bruises later, when Mom came down and caught him. Us._

_Her slap hurt more than anything he'd ever done to me._

_Things definitely got worse after that._

_Dick wasn't the only one calling 'whore' in the house._

_I drank, I smoked, and I stayed out late every night rather than whenever I felt I could get away with it._

_And I thought it was working._

_But then she stayed out late one night with her cronies and he made good on his oft spoken threat to show me what a real man could do to me._

_I fought. I really did._

_But he did it anyway._

_My already falling grades plummeted to new lows._

_The police brought me home more often than the taxi service did. I couldn't drive myself anymore, I'd already totalled the little blue BMW he gave me, I was so trashed I missed the tree I was aiming for and hit a parked car, they yield more, unfortunately._

_Mom started talking to Dad, about what a problem I was._

_But I hadn't actually given up and I finally started talking to my BFF, who was all over my erratic behaviour, and had been for while._

_..._

I stop talking for a moment and look up at Em.

Silent and immobile.

I'm fervently glad that I don't know what he's thinking.

_..._

_It felt so good, cathartic._

_She cared and though she couldn't understand, luckily for her, she seemed to want to._

_And I thought . . . ._

_Silly, silly Rose._

_It took a week or two for me to find out, but she'd spun what I'd told her, into a whole new story, one that Dick would have wholeheartedly agreed with. Rosalie Hale, slut, whore, step father seducer. Liar. Thief._

_It was hell at school, kids love a good story, and a good victim, especially a haughty, unobtainable, rich one like me._

_But that was nothing compared to when it got back to Mom, as shit does._

_It wasn't pretty._

_The screaming was epic and pretty much constant._

_Until they were leaving for a party one night and he leant in to kiss me goodnight, his lips warm and wet against my cheek. He was 'trying so hard' to show Mom that I could be redeemed, be normal. _

_I was drunk, inhibitions down, and I freaked the fuck out._

_Finally._

_I twatted him one, knocked him on his ass, and knocked a couple of his horse teeth out. He couldn't beat the crap out of me this time, not in front of Mom, so he had to settle for backhanding me in righteous self defence, the bruise had pretty much faded when Dad picked me up from the airport in PA. My knuckles weren't so great but Dad didn't ask to shake hands with me so they weren't a problem._

_Anyway, I digress._

_Mom flipped her fucking lid when Dick laid it on with a trowel about how I was all over him like one of his cheaper suits, rubbing against him, feeling him up, flaunting myself at him at every opportunity._

_She was never going to disbelieve him so I didn't even bother to defend myself._

_She screamed at me for what felt like hours, and she seemed far more worried about my betrayal than the bruise that was forming on what turned out later to be my fractured cheek bone._

_The guys at Breaking Dawn let me doss in the club until I caught the flight to PA a few days later and it was them who took me to the emergency room, posing as an employee with medical insurance, to get my face looked at._

_Dick met me at the airport and handed me my solitary suitcase._

_He clearly wanted to say stuff but we were well past that, not to mention surrounded by armed security personnel, so I just snatched it and walked off. _

_If I had a dime for every time my own Mother told me I was a slut I would have at least been able to get a coffee while I waited for my flight._

_But I didn't._

...

I fling myself off the bed, heading for the door and completely unable to look at him . . . .

"Oh no you don't, Rosalie Honey Hale." He growls, catching me and easily enfolding me in his big arms so I can bury my face in his hard chest.

The change will come, but just for now, I can pretend, I _need_ to pretend, oh _how_ I need to pretend . . . .


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty One Esme**

**EsPOV**

"Rose?" Bella croons. "We're here. We're here for you. But Em just needs a bit of time, he loves you Rose, but he's a vampire and he just needs to break some shit."

"Es and I, we'll stay with you. We can talk if you want to, or not. We don't mind. But Es, well, she probably understands what you've been through better than anybody. So maybe she'll just talk and we'll see how we go from there . . . . Yes, Em, go, she'll be fine, Alice says so . . . . Hey, hey, Rose, calm baby, be calm, he'll be back, he just needs a moment, trust him . . . . I know you do Em but I'm not sure you can help right now . . . . Es, what's happening with Phil . . . . Okay, alright, let's all calm down . . . . Em, just fucking go and get it out of your system, I love her too but she's made it this far without you."

My heart goes out to her, it really does.

And I admire her, she has been so strong.

So many of us deal with this on our own. So few of us are ever truly healed.

She told him, so important, and so I hope, that like me, she will be one of the ones who gets to weave the experience into what makes her past and move on, be happy.

Because she is unlikely ever be able to forget.

...

_We were an unremarkable family, as poor but rich as anyone else in our County._

_As the eldest I helped my Ma with the chores and raising the younger ones. I was happy, same as everyone else. Life was sometimes hard but we worked together and made it good. If I aspired to anything I aspired to be like Ma one day, with a strong vibrant family of my own._

_I was a little late being married, but in no way a spinster, folks understood. My beau, Charles, was killed in an accident at the Mill and everyone knew how we'd been destined for each other since birth._

_He was my first friend, my first chaste kiss, my one and only crush. I adored him and he adored me. Our families were happy, what with our adjoining farms, it could not have been any more perfect._

_In a time when marriage could be a little like a business even my Pa was disposed to let me grieve in peace._

_Eventually offers were made, either to me, or to Pa._

_And, in truth, I did not want to be spinster, I may not ever be able to replace Charles but I longed for a family and home of my own, just as I always had._

_Pa was a good man, I always knew I could choose, though I was an extra mouth to feed._

_I just was not tempted, for a long time._

_Billy Craig I had always been fond of, and he had been Charles's closest friend. Perhaps that was why I could not picture myself wedded to him._

_He courted me for a while but eventually grew tired of my lack of response and made an offer for Sally Michelson. She was no fool, she accepted and though I was in some ways jealous I was more than happy to be god mother to their first born, Daniel, such a beautiful baby._

_But by the time I was twenty five Pa, and even Ma, were making loving noises about how I might be letting life pass me by._

_Charles Evenson inherited his Grandfather's farm and moved to town not long after._

_He was handsome, I gave him that. But he and my Charles really only shared a Christian name._

_Not that I could not admire him. He was full of ideas and energy, so focussed on what he thought he could do with his Midwestern dirt farm. Some of the locals laughed at him, but I wondered . . . ._

_The world was changing so fast._

_Justice Clark even had an automobile, Pa's horse was faster, but, whatever next . . . ._

...

Rose has calmed a little, for which I'm grateful.

Em is already back, he's destroyed some stuff and wrestled with Carlisle and Edward, no wonder the poor girl thinks Forks is the thunder capital of the world. So many things they've fought about since she came to town . . . .

But he is waiting outside, giving me a chance to talk.

She is a lucky girl, if she can but see it.

...

_He did not exactly court me, Charles, but he was attentive and kind and I had remained impressed with the things he was doing on his farm so when he asked for my hand I accepted, I did not have a reason not to._

_Our wedding was small and simple but just as I would have wanted it. Was I sad that my Charles was not there beside me? Yes. But I was hopeful, I was happy and I was looking forward to the future._

_He took me to my new home after the Wedding Supper and I was nervous more than excited, but who would not be?_

...

"Do you want me to tell you?" I ask Rose, who is watching me intently from her bed.

Bella has released her now and is just quietly sitting next to her.

Rose glances at her for reassurance I presume and after a moment she nods at me to continue.

...

_I did not even get a tour of my new home._

_He simply took me into the bedroom, pushed me onto the bed, pulled up beautiful dress and ripped away my under clothes._

_He was not exactly rough but neither was he gentle._

_When it was over he rolled off me and went to sleep._

_I did not cry, I had heard worse stories, whispered between young women._

_He was not a total monster as the weeks wore on but he was also not the kind and loving husband I had hoped for. He only ever physically hurt me when we were having sex, which he wanted a lot, the rest of the time he was distant and somewhat cold. Yet outside of the house he was ever the dutiful husband._

_I did not know what to expect when Doctor Whitlock confirmed that I was pregnant but nevertheless I was happy, I had always wanted children of my own._

_My husband seemed well pleased with the news and after a month or so, when I began to show, ceased his constant sexual demands. I was relieved._

_Even when I found out he was instead exercising them on the Widow Dickens._

_If we had been a love match I believe I would have spoken to him about it, but we were not, and as long as it remained a well kept secret in the community I knew I could ignore it. So I did and instead I focussed on the miracle of life growing inside me._

_Doctor Whitlock was new in town and had brought his own new ideas with him, he was very much focussed on the health of expectant women as opposed to the traditional approach that the whole process would either work or it would not and anything unexpected would be dealt with when it arose. As a result I saw a lot of him and his wife during those months. They fascinated me, they were such beautiful people, inside and out, and though I saw far less of the Doctor's younger brother Emmett, he seemed to travel a lot, I liked him too._

_Nevertheless I was lonely in those months, spending a lot of my time creating a vegetable patch next to our house. I was avoiding Ma, she was shrewd woman and I did not want her to know that my marriage was not perfect._

_In my sixth month I miscarried and nearly bled to death. _

_I was distraught, I had been pouring all my love into the child growing inside me._

_A week later my husband raped me for the first time._

_And the whole cycle started again, this time with more violence._

_There were days when I was forced to stay at home lest anyone see the evidence on my face or body._

_So when I fell pregnant again I told only my husband, hoping he would immediately leave me alone._

_He did._

_And when I no longer looked like a battered wife I went to see Doctor Whitlock with my news and though he seemed enchanted to see me I could swear that he knew something, the questions he was asking were so, relevant._

_I stopped going after my second visit._

_In my day we simply did not share information about what went on at home with anyone. Ever. Somehow people always knew and whispered about it, but a wife would never, ever, tell._

_He and his wife visited once after that but I was silent and my husband was less than welcoming, he was not convinced that the Doctor's 'check-ups' were not in some way responsible for the loss of what should have been his first born son._

_I miscarried again at five months this time._

_And this time my husband did not even wait a week. He was determined that he receive his rightful son and heir. Determined. And I began to wonder if I wouldn't die, one way or another, attempting to give him one._

_I was more afraid than elated when I fell again._

_My husband was grimly optimistic and thankfully dedicated enough to his cause to stop abusing me and even nurture me a little._

_When I went into labour naturally, at nine months, with my Ma and sister beside me I was ecstatic, it would all be worth it, in the end._

_It was long and hard but I was no longer afraid, I had been party to a few birthings in my life already, before the good Doctor came to town, it was considered something of a festive occasion for the womenfolk and a chance to drink and talk for the men._

_My son was perfect in every way and his father was ecstatic, life was finally starting to improve._

_Charles Xavier Evenson lived for just two weeks, a victim of lung fever._

_Charles Evenson the man was beside himself and blamed me._

_He beat me to within an inch of my life and without my baby I made no attempt to stop him._

_Not even when he loaded me on his horse and took me deep into the wilderness, muttering about needing to get rid of the failure before he could find a proper wife and have his heir._

_He left me in a ravine, loosely covered with stones and dirt._

_I was not unhappy about it, the pain was starting to fade and I was pretty sure, since he had technically killed me, I was not committing a sin by choosing not to fight my death._

...

"You're not dead though." Rose whispers, fresh tears shining in her eyes.

"I am technically." I laugh softly. "But no, Jasper and Alice found me, he changed me. I think of my life as four phases. A happy, possibly even idyllic, childhood. A loveless and violent marriage, full of loss. Re-birth to a world of opportunities. And finally, Carlisle and love. There aren't words Rose, for how happy I am now."

"Why did he change you?" She asks, quietly.

"Emmett and I had always gotten along well every time we met, his foolery used to make me laugh and his terrible flirting make me blush."

"Hey." He objects from outside, too quietly for Rose to hear.

"Alice's vision was not clear but both she and Jasper had come to care for me over time and so they hoped, that possibly, I would be a match for Emmett who had been alone for so long."

Rose's eyes grow wide and outside Edward chuckles quietly at whatever she is thinking.

"It was not to be." I inform her, hiding my smile. "I love Emmett with all my heart but he reminds me too much of my brothers, so, _ew_, no."


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Two Starting Somewhere**

**RPOV**

"Em's back." Bella informs me as I gape at Esme.

"He is?" I ask stupidly.

"Of course he is, trust me there is nowhere else he would rather be."

I shake my head, trying to clear it.

"Will you talk to him?" She asks, studying me carefully.

I shrug, I don't know what to say to him at this point but if he's going to give up on me I'd rather hear straight from him, and get it over with.

Bella smirks at me and pats my thigh before exiting through my window with a smiling Esme hot on her heels.

In the blink of an eye their place is taken in my room by Em.

"Are you okay"? He asks.

Another shrug.

So far I am, I'll need time to think about Esme's story and what it might mean for me and shit, I didn't even thank her telling me, I know it can't have been easy . . . .

I watch as he makes his way to the rocking chair and eases himself down in it.

"I don't want there to be any misunderstandings between us Rose so I'm going to tell you everything that happened from when I left your room right up until the moment I jumped back through your window. Okay?"

"Okay."

Automatically I assume my normal Em facing cross legged position.

He sighs, and then smiles at me.

"Please, just listen to me okay? Don't jump to any conclusions."

"Okay."

"Holding you, after you told me what he did to you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Being gentle with you when everything in my nature was screaming out for violence. I don't know how I did it, but I would never hurt you Rose, never.

Waiting for my family to come. That was hard too.

Do you know how long it would take me to run to Phoenix from here?"

I shake my head.

"Not long enough to change my mind that's for sure. As of a few moments ago Alice can still see me killing Dick, but that's okay, because I can see it too. It's going to take while though so she isn't sure if I'll be back in time for school on Monday. Does that frighten you, disgust you?"

"Not as much as it should." I confess quietly.

"I fucking hate that." He growls and I shrug, it's not like I haven't thought about it myself a time or two, though I somehow don't think Em will be needing my Dad's gun.

"You aren't going to do it though, are you?" I ask, just to be sure.

"I don't know." He answers truthfully. "Vampires are violent by nature. I think you would have to tell me not to."

"Don't kill Dick Em. Please. He isn't worth it. You're better than that. We're both better than that."

He stares at me for a moment and then nods.

Hmm. Something else to think about later. I'm relieved by his reaction so far, even a little warmed by it, but this conversation still has a long way to go.

"Edward and Carlisle had to drag me away from your house, more than plotting Dick's demise it was incredibly hard for me to leave you so upset. But Edward was quite right when he said I needed to commit some wanton acts of violence before I talked to you again.

There's a new clearing out by Goat's Rock, I'll take you up there some time, looks like a meteor strike and there's a really big hole in the middle where Edward refrained from killing me when I attacked him. I'll have to thank him for that later."

And he reaches up, unconsciously brushing rock fragments out of his wild looking hair.

"I've heard Es's story before, in fact I was the only person she told up until she met Carlisle. I got back here just as she was telling you about her wedding night.

You should know that Charles Evenson I did kill. _Eventually_."

I shudder at the violence he imbued that word with.

"I wanted you to hear her story Rose but I wanted to be with you, to hold you while she told it. But, I . . . ."

He pauses, unsure.

"I'm a Miner and a Farm Boy, not a Doctor like Jasper or a Psychologist like Bella, I want to help you but I don't always know how. I didn't know if you'd welcome me coming back and certainly not how you'd react if I tried to touch you. So I let Edward and Carlisle sit on me to keep me outside."

He sighs, dropping his eyes to his lap.

"I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not. I still don't know if I should really be here right now, if you want me to be. I just . . . ."

He sighs again.

"I suspected . . . . well, you even told me some stuff, but I'd got no idea what an Evil Manipulative Fucker he was. I'm so sorry Rose, I wish I'd been there to protect you. And I'm . . . . so sorry . . . . that I wasn't."

"It's not your fault Em."

"I know. But that's not the point Rose. When you love someone, well, their pain is your pain even if it's an old one."

He's looking at me again now, eyes soft and sad.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Anything. You know that don't you?"

I shake my head, not so convinced.

"You were fifteen Rose, a silly little fifteen year old girl should be able to flirt with a grown man without him getting ideas. It was his responsibility to know better, not yours."

Tears are welling up again.

"I didn't want . . . . I never meant." I whimper.

"I know Honey, I know." He whispers, very carefully climbing onto the bed and wrapping me in his arms.

I bury my face in his enormous armpit and sob my heart out.

...

He's still there in the morning when I wake up.

A giant stone lump which my painfully protesting body tells me I've been clinging onto all night.

My head is on his shoulder, one arm between our bodies and one thrown over his chest. One leg thrown over his hips.

I can't help it, there wasn't time to think before I ripped myself away from him, struggling to breathe so badly I can't even scream.

He stays completely still, eyes on my face as I gradually calm down.

"What time is it?"

"After ten." He says. "The Chief's already gone fishing."

"Have you been here all night?"

"Yes, your Dad obviously decided to let you sleep in, no need for the fingertip hanging."

I want to say so many things.

Apologise for leaping away from him the minute I woke up, he's hidden it well but I could see the hurt flash in his eyes. Thank him for last night, all of it, even the bits I wasn't best pleased about at the time. Thank him for still being here, for apparently not judging me, for caring. For being so sweetly, incredibly, awesome.

But I can't do any of that so I flash him my brightest smile and take myself off for a shower, examining myself blearily in the mirror.

Oh. My. God.

I look like Bride of Chucky, urgent maintenance is required . . . .

...

I emerge some time later to the unmistakable smell of coffee and follow it downstairs like the fledgling addict that I am.

"Coffee." Em says, handing me a cup. "I have learned how to do."

I take a sip.

"Mm. Not bad."

And then we lapse into silence both of us probably wondering what happens next.

Eventually he laughs, because he's Em, and I guess because it is kinda funny.

I laugh too, happy at the release of the sudden tension.

There's something I need to ask him about but I don't have to do it now, do I?

"Want to do something today?" He asks, catching my mood.

"Like what?"

And that's how I came to go cliff diving for the first time.

The water was cold enough to freeze a witch's tit but I've never even felt that alive when I've been dancing.

...

Monday comes and so does school and it's all so unbelievably boring and normal my face aches from smiling by the time I get home to start on dinner.

Em picked me up, we met up again at lunch, Bella ribbed me mercilessly, and Em dropped me home.

Nothing, had changed.

Well okay, maybe one thing has but I'm still choosing not to ask him about it.

...

On Saturday he and I have the _best_ day in Seattle, if Mrs R was bothered I was missing three Saturdays in a row she wasn't letting on, she let me start at the crack of dawn and just waved me on my way once I'd done a couple of hours of mostly filling out her paperwork.

I shopped till I was ready to drop and Em dutifully carried my bags, didn't complain about being bored, held my hand and bought me a stupidly expensive meal in a plush restaurant.

I fell asleep, our hands linked together, as he drove us home that night.

"Hey, Rose." He says, gently shaking me awake. "We're home."

I blink up at him, handsome face illuminated by the weak cheap glow that Dad calls a porch light and it seems the most obvious thing in the world to press my lips briefly against his.

So the beaming smile he gives me as I exit his truck is a bit much, to be honest.

...

And on Sunday the guys go hunting leaving the girls in charge back home. Alice cleared it with Dad for me to stay over, how she did that on a school night I do not know, and then bought enough junk food and soda for a house party of hundreds, instead of four, three of whom don't eat or drink.

We had a stack of chick flicks, magazines and beauty products to get through so we changed into our pjs, before noon no less, and we were off.

Was I worried that they were going to want to talk about things I didn't?

Oh yes and it was a measure of how much I was starting to like them all that I was here anyway.

Esme took a lot of stick and to be fair she does seem to have a more 'mature' persona than the others, but it's hardly surprising under the circumstances. I'm a little in awe of how she seems the most normal and human of them. She's not a big talker but she has a quiet warm personality that reminds me of Ang, and she certainly doesn't seem remotely bothered by their teasing.

Apparently her wedding anniversary with Carlisle is coming up and Alice and Bella are trying to persuade her to opt for something a little more exotic than the trip to Paris they're planning.

"No Bella." She huffs, starting another gossip magazine.

"At least go to Isle Esme, get some sun." Bella pushes.

I must have looked surprised because Alice laughs.

"A few anniversaries back Carlisle bought her an island in the South Pacific. It's beautiful."

Bella leans over and uses her finger to gently close my mouth.

"Most of us never hold down a job." She chuckles. "But one way or another we've amassed quite a fortune. If you think Isle Esme is impressive you should see Alice's yacht collection, every one of them chosen lovingly by Doctor Dad."

"I like boats." Alice laughs, grinning wickedly at me. "And Jasper likes me to have what I like."

"What does Edward buy you?" I ask Bella.

"Nothing." She says, sniffing one of my chocolates with a disgusted look on her face. "I hate people spending money on me, he was a lavish gift giver early on in our relationship but my constant lack of enthusiasm wore him down in the end."

"You don't like presents?" I ask, appalled.

"Nope."

"You should see the enormous diamond necklace he bought her." Alice says, shaking her head sadly. "She uses it in her closet to hang her belts on."

"Sacrilege." I murmur as Alice and Esme nod in agreement.

"Pfft." Bella snorts. "I don't need presents from Edward, I only ever wanted him and now I've got him I want for nothing."

"_Ah_." The rest of us sigh together.

Yep, I always knew this damn family would turn me to mush. Its insanity, that's what it is.

"I do have some presents from him that I'm rather fond of."

Esme groans and I glance round in confusion.

"Bella and Edward have an um, healthy relationship, even for vampires." Alice informs me with a wink.

"Sex toys." Esme says with a shudder. "And lingerie. It's like a den of iniquity in their room and if you ever go in there for heaven's sake don't sit down anywhere."

My mouth drops open again and Alice deftly changes the subject.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Three Kiss, Kiss, Duck, Duck**

**RPOV**

I hadn't noticed how much time had passed until Mom invites me for Thanksgiving.

I decline telling her I'm spending it with Dad and the Whitlocks.

She doesn't push this time but I do still get a text from Dick.

'Your Mother is very hurt and disappointed that you will not be visiting for Thanksgiving. That is unacceptable and I hope that you will be making a better decision regarding Christmas.'

'Can I bring Em?' I text back.

'No.'

'Then her hurt and disappointment is all on you, Dick.'

'I am not your father, I will not tolerate you bringing a boy into my house.'

I'm about to text back again when I realise I'm about to fall into an old trap, engaging with him.

I put the cell down and stare at it for a while.

Then I pick it up and delete the thread.

"Good decision." Bella calls quietly from outside my bedroom window.

I pop up, not sure if I want to give her a piece of my mind or say thanks, but she's already disappeared into the night by the time I get to the window.

I've taken to leaving the window open in case of visitors, since Em nearly broke it once when he was talking to Edward and not paying proper attention but Forks is damn cold and Dad's starting to wonder why I'm always wearing a coat so I close it and wait for the room to warm up.

I won't be seeing Em again tonight anyway, he's going hunting.

Instead I'm sat in my room mentally girding my loins for our impending dinner date with Billy. I don't know if Jake's coming, I haven't asked.

I'm guessing Em knows but I'm not sure because he hasn't said anything.

Maybe he was waiting for me to tell him, maybe I should have done . . . .

Oh fuck it, might as well go and start dinner, no sense worrying about it now.

...

Billy arrives an hour later and tells Dad that Jake's working on a car for someone on the Res.

Thank god.

The night's not so bad but I do catch Billy looking at me a few times. Probably wondering why his best friend's daughter is consorting with vampires but I'm pretty sure he isn't going to say anything to Dad, Em says the wolves are just as motivated as the vampires to keep things a secret.

Nevertheless I'm relieved when he and Dad decide to head to a Bar for a quick one, not even offended that they've left me with the clearing up.

My cell chimes.

'Knock, knock. Got time for your boyfriend?'

'I thought you were hunting?'

'Done and Edward was missing Bella so we're headed back.'

'Okay.'

'Door or window Honey?'

'Too cold for window.'

There's an immediate knock at the door and I swing it open to find him grinning on my porch and proffering a cuddly toy.

"Get in here." I huff, as he obeys. "Before someone sees you with that and my hard bitch reputation is ruined."

Damn thing's even got a bow round its neck.

He laughs and hands me the bear.

"We haven't spent much time on our own recently and I was feeling withdrawal symptoms so I didn't mind when Edward cashed in his man card, again."

I pause, studying him.

"I thought that was deliberate." I decide to confess.

"It was in a way." He admits. "I didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you."

I nod and then confess the rest.

"I, um, was glad that we, you know hadn't, um, changed. But I can't tell if, you, um, are, um . . . . fuck . . . . maybe you see me differently now."

He smiles, placing his hands gently on my shoulders.

"No. I don't." He says quietly, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose, about as affectionate with his lips as he's been, since _that_ night.

I close my eyes and offer up a silent prayer.

"You don't kiss me anymore." I mutter, screwing my eyes even tighter shut.

I feel his cool sweet breath blow across my face and then his lips are gently on mine.

"It isn't because I don't want to Honey." He murmurs, between light soft movements. "I'd do this all day long if I could."

I hum as he continues to brush his lips gently across mine, the frown easing from my face.

And then he presses more firmly, his lips moving mine with them.

"All day." He murmurs, nibbling at the corner of my mouth. "Every day."

The tingling is back with vengeance and I long to kiss him, really kiss him and for him to be able to hold me while he kisses me, so that I can feel his body pressed against every inch of mine. But that doesn't happen and I'm glad.

Baby steps.

He sighs as he releases me and I open my eyes.

"You're going to be the absolute death of me." He chuckles, grabbing the bear back out of my limp embrace.

"Hey!" I object, making a grab for it.

The giant shit actually let me chase him round the ground floor a couple of times before it dawned on me I was being toyed with.

If Dad wasn't happy when he got home later and found Em sprawled on our couch watching Dawn of the Dead he didn't say anything.

...

We didn't have Thanksgiving with the Whitlocks though Alice did invite us, and laugh her tiny ass off at me when I was mid polite refusal, Em had clearly told her what I really thought of her cooking.

Dad invited a couple of guys from the station and Billy.

He even helped me cook.

Jake was off somewhere with his 'friends' apparently so I was spared his brooding presence. The kid hates me but at least, on the couple of times we've met since Vampiregate, he's just glared at me and then ignored me. Fuck but that boy can glare, if I wasn't still pissed at him I'd compliment him on it, mean and moody to the bone.

Anyway we had a good day without the pup and Dad even let me have more than one beer.

Mom rang and I spoke to her for a bit, I do miss her, or rather the pre-Dick her but I wasn't sorry when the stilted duty conversation was over.

...

"I don't know what to get him." I whine as Bella and I pound the sidewalks of Portland the week before Christmas. "He's already got everything a boy could possibly want."

"Get him a duck, he's got a thing about ducks."

"What?"

"Ducks, you know, quack, quack."

"What, real ones?"

She nods, idly running her fingers over the material of an emerald green sweater that would look great on Edward's lean muscular frame.

"Oh jesus, he doesn't eat them does he?"

"No! He just likes them, he hasn't kept any for years, I think he'd be pleased if you got him some."

"Do they sell them in Portland?" I ask dubiously.

And she's off, laughing her pretty head off, how is it my fault I wasn't born on a fucking farm, why should I know where the fuck you get ducks from?

Her cell rings and I can hear Alice shouting at her.

"What was that all about?" I ask when she hangs up, still laughing.

"Alice hates ducks. She has foreseen their arrival and she ain't happy."

"You're evil." I point out.

"Forever is a long time." Is her cryptic reply.

I thought she was gonna wet herself when I found Em a Christmas jumper with a duck wearing a santa hat on it.

And I nearly returned the compliment when she found one in Alice's size too.

...

What can I say, I researched ducks.

And Dad lent me his credit card to buy them with.

Alice sent me a rude text message as I clicked on the buy button but she softened it with a smiley face so I don't think I was in too much trouble.

...

Em was enchanted with his Indian Runners and I had to admit they were fascinating, like brown bowling pins with legs on. Bella and Edward had bought him all the gear he needed as a complimentary gift.

Alice's only comment was to decry me for getting him a breed that couldn't fly away.

Edward just threatened to eat them if they made too much noise.

Em showered me with gifts, most of them small and silly but he did get me the most beautiful choker and earring set with Charoite and Rose Quartz which brought out the faint lilac hue in my eyes and tickets to the Opera in Seattle, so that I would get a chance to wear them somewhere special. Alice and Jasper gave me a dress for the occasion and Esme and Carlisle shoes and a matching clutch. Bella said that she and Edward's gift was a related surprise and I'd get it when the time came, so they gave me a purple vibrator to unwrap instead.

...

The Whitlocks have their own New Year's tradition which the human couldn't partake of, but I didn't mind, Ang and I were going to Jessica Stanley's party with Ben. Em wanted to come too as chief Newton repellent but I really didn't think it was necessary, besides I was pretty sure his current sights were set on Lauren Mallory, so I sent him off for his quality family time.

Reluctantly, he's not the only one that could kiss all day.

And I'm much better at it than I was, I love it when he slides his hands gently into my hair, massaging my tingling scalp with his long fingers.

And sometimes I even huff with annoyance when he pulls away from me, though I know why he does.

I know, considering the past, the onus is on me to move things forward, and I hope that I will, eventually.

And that we really shouldn't be done talking about my past, but I'm just so . . . . so much happier than I ever thought I would be that I'm afraid to rock the boat.

...

"Ungh." Ang groans as someone in the crush jostles her drinking arm and the warm, cheap, whatever it is in her cup sloshes down her front. "Now I remember why I hate parties."

"At least there's more room at La Push. Why couldn't we have gone there?" Ben complains as his own drink is jeopardised.

"Because Rose and I wanted to come here." Ang informs him calmly and firmly.

I smile at her. I've never told her anything, obviously, but she's sensitive enough to know that I'm not happy about going to La Push anymore.

Ben mutters something about having a thumb print on the top of his head and does in search of more drinks.

"Have you two decided what you're going to do about college?" I ask her.

She pulls a face.

"No. We've applied to all the same ones and though we've no plan to move in together I can't imagine Mom and Dad being very happy about it."

I pat her arm sympathetically. Mr and Mrs Weber are great but I can't see it either, somehow.

"What about you and Em?" She asks.

I laugh the question off.

"His college plans are all too rich for my pockets."

"You'll stay in touch with him though, right?" She asks, brow furrowing. "You guys are perfect together."

"I guess." I shrug and change the subject.

The party roars on, it's not too bad as these things go but it would still be more fun with Em here. Mind you, the ghost of his enormous presence is enough to stop anyone of the male persuasion doing much more than smile at me, for which I am extremely grateful.

We manage to dance in a threesome without any of us feeling awkward about it. And we hang out in corners, watching our classmates get completely wasted.

You'd think I'd have a sixth sense wouldn't you? But no.

I was as surprised as anyone when Chief Hale busted the party before we even got to midnight and the fireworks.

The only ones who escaped were the potheads who were smoking in the backyard, for obvious reasons.

Parents arrived from their own parties and were sent off with their offspring and one of Dad's more sanctimonious fleas in their ears. He was enjoying this, I swear, not only had he brought our party to a screeching halt, but also every other one in town by the look of it.

When the last sorry carful had departed and the Deputies had return to more useful pursuits he finally turned his attention to me.

I'm not sure what's going to happen, he gives me beer for fuck's sake, but I begin with a flowery apology anyway. And when he doesn't say anything I then move swiftly on to explain that I was, in fact, the designated driver and hadn't touched a drop of the bad stuff all night.

"Rose." He sighs, hooking his thumbs into his gun belt. "You have to be old enough to drink to be a designated driver."

"I wasn't drinking." I object and he leans down and takes a long sniff.

Then, because he's evil, and thanks to Mom has reason to be suspicious, he makes me take a sobriety test.

Then, when he's done telling me what he's going to do to me if I ever drink and drive he nods at Dave and sends me on my way.

I'm still grumbling and wondering at the sheer bare faced bah humbug of the man, it's New Years Eve for fuck sake, as I tuck myself up in bed.

My cell tells me its eleven twenty seven pm.

"_Jesus_." I groan, pulling the comforter up over my head.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Four The Preacher's Son**

**EsPOV**

Edward is going through one of his 'needy' periods so Bella has dragged him off into the Canadian wilderness for a day or two and Em is out of town attending to some family business so, as the woman on watch so to speak, I persuaded Rose to come and help me out in the garden, I think she found it surprisingly enjoyable.

She is much more comfortable around me now and though we've never talked about my story since, she was sincere in her thanks for my choosing to share it.

I'd like to tell her about Carlisle, I think how we came to be might give her the confidence to move forward with Em, but I don't want to push and ruin the amazing progress she's already made. One day though, I'd like her to be as happy as I am.

And of course I want my 'big brother' to be happy too.

So I was more than pleased when she asked me how Carlisle and I met.

I imagine she is curious about him, though the rest of us have come to spend more and more time with her he has been conspicuous by his absence for the most part.

...

_Like everyone else I did not find it easy to wake a vampire and as I had been brought up in a good Christian household, I found the things I wanted and was capable of doing were anathema to me. It was a strange time. Alice and Jasper were my salvation, policing my every move so that I did not do something I would abhor and helping me through the echoing chasm that was the hole my baby's death had left in me._

_I did make mistakes. Can you call a human needlessly slaughtered a mistake? Jasper says that because of what we are, how incredibly alien we are to what we were, how hard we try to be better, that we can. But I am still not sure. Because unlike Edward I still believe that I have a soul and if I have a soul then I am still capable of committing a sin._

_So I tried, and I still do, to be good. And it does get easier as time goes on. For most of us._

_Jasper was an incredible Doctor and because we had no need for money in order to survive he was able to take his skills and use them on the poor, the people most in need and least likely to be helped. So we travelled, a lot. Staying for a while in small communities like the one I grew up in, helping people where we could, a 'Hail Mary' for our inner beasts. I quickly became his nurse and midwife, something about my past making me oblivious to any blood involved in nature's regeneration process. A gift from God for all my efforts perhaps._

_As the world changed around us we changed too, putting down slightly longer roots, using lawyers to establish identities that we could have continuity under. We stayed longer in each place and we were able to travel 'legitimately' to other countries._

_We were in a small town in Maine when I met Carlisle Cullen, the Preacher's Son._

_He was incredibly beautiful for a human, tall and strong with a crown of golden blonde hair and eyes of the most vibrant blue. And such a good man. I was immediately drawn to him, not that we ever did more than share shy smiles when we met. I used to follow him, on sunny days, watching from the shadows as the light turned his golden countenance into a halo._

...

She snickers and I laugh with her.

"Alright." I admit. "I was smitten and possibly the first ever female stalker, but he was _gorgeous_, inside and out. You would have been too."

...

_His father was our Preacher and not exactly the most godly of men in my humble opinion, he was a little too concerned with his place in the community than my puritan streak was comfortable with, but his son more than made up for his shortcomings and was universally adored._

_There was something of a competition going on amongst the unmarried women of the parish._

_He seemed sweetly oblivious but nevertheless my dead heart would clench every time I perceived that he favoured someone. If he danced with someone overlong at a party, or if he spent too long helping out on a particular father's farm._

_I was in my own form of happy hell._

_I was alone at our house, tending my garden when he arrived unexpectedly, an injured child cradled in his strong arms._

"_Is Doctor Whitlock here?" He called urgently as he emerged from the trees._

"_No." I cleaned my hands on my skirt and hurried forward. "He and Alice are visiting friends. What's the problem, can I help?"_

"_Please Esme." He asks, rushing toward me and laying the boy, Danny Ives I note, down on the grass. "He fell from a tree in the yard, I think he hit his head."_

_I check his pulse and loosen his clothing, deliberately ignoring the blood oozing from his head. He's blue, too blue and I can hear the air struggling to get past the obstruction in his airway. Hastily I snatch him up, squeezing around his body as Jasper taught me and a hard lump of candy shoots out from his throat like a ball from a cannon. Air rushes in immediately and Danny hitches in a breath, and another, and another._

"_Oh thank god." I whisper, laying him back on the grass and his chest starts to rise and fall steadily._

"_Amen." Carlisle murmurs and our eyes meet over Danny's prone form._

...

"It's like a Georgette Heyer novel." Rose giggles, not unkindly.

"I know."

...

_And then he smiled and I was done for._

_So I muttered something about fetching water and escaped into the house to gather my scattered thoughts._

_Outside I could hear Danny coming round and Carlisle explaining what happened, and in the distance Danny's heavily pregnant Mother hurrying through the trees toward us as fast as she could._

_I glanced out of the window, preparing to go back out, which is when I realised how brightly the sun was shining._

_And how much I was enjoying its warmth as I planted my new bulbs._

_I could not go back out there and I did not how much damage I had already done._

"_Carlisle?" I called instead. "Could you bring him in here, into the shade?"_

_He did so immediately bringing the boy into Jasper's consulting room and setting him on the examination couch._

_Mrs Ives burst through the door a moment later._

_Jasper's room is incredibly dark with thick nets so that he can treat patients when the sun is shining, thankfully._

_I was a nervous ball of tension as I bustled around seeing to everyone, Danny's father and Mrs Ives's sister had also arrived, and I dared not look at Carlisle._

_What had I done?_

_Mentally I was already preparing a list of the tasks I would have to perform in order for us to make a quick exit, Emmett would be so disappointed, he loved it there.._

_And I have never been as appreciative of Alice's gift as I was when she and Jasper pushed through the door a moment later . . . ._

"_I am so sorry." I kept apologising, pacing the parlour like a caged lion as the others discussed what to do._

"_Esme, please." Alice finally sighed. "Sit down."_

_I obeyed and took up twisting my hands together instead. I was not so much dismayed at my stupidity as infuriated that it would mean I would have to leave Carlisle._

"_I didn't sense any shock in him." Jasper insisted. "He 'felt' perfectly fine."_

"_I had a vision." Alice confessed. "As soon as he decided to bring the child here."_

"_What?" I almost demand._

"_I don't know where we were or how far in the future it was but Carlisle was one of us."_

"_Oh lord." I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. "What have I done?"_

"_It isn't set in stone Esme." She pointed out. _

_In the end we decided not to leave straight away, Alice insisted that she had no visions that indicated that Carlisle was planning to tell anyone what he must have seen._

_So the following morning I dressed in my finest and borrowed the car to go to church. Alice refused to tell me if she saw anything._

_He smiled at me as I took my seat, a little more intimate than our usual shy exchanges, but that was the only change._

_What was unusual was that he sought me out at the end of the service and walked me to the car. I did not need Jasper's gift to feel the waves of jealousy crashing against my back. _

_He thanked me for saving Danny's live, offered up a few bits of small talk and then told me he found me incredibly beautiful before flushing a delicate and very attractive shade pink and hurrying away. I did not need the car to get home, I could have floated._

_And when I arrived I made it quite clear that we had to leave. Right there and then._

...

"There's an awful lot of running away goes on in this family." Rose snorts with mild disgust.

"Love is terrifying." I point out. "Especially when the object of your affections is at risk from your very existence. It takes an incredibly strong person, I think, to fall in love with a human and be determined to find a way to make it work for both of them."

...

_We Whitlocks are a family in every sense of the word, even without the blood bond, so of course they rallied to my decision and though I felt like I was losing something else that was an integral part of me we were gone before the sun rose again._

_The 'Platts' travelled for a while before settling in a new community in Colorado._

_And life went on._

_Emmett even started his own mining operation._

_It was six months later as I was shopping in town that a familiar scent reached me._

_Carlisle._

_I should have left but instead I found myself stalking him again._

_I quickly learned that he was passing through on his way to live with relatives in California, intending to stay for a while and find work. I longed to ask him why, to offer him a room at our place instead of the rat infested dungeon that he had rented. But of course I didn't, what I did do however, was decide that though I would regret it after I would follow him while he was here and store up as much of him as possible for the future._

_I didn't tell the others though I am sure Alice must have seen something._

_He struggled to find work, just as everyone else did but eventually he found something in the mines._

...

"Please tell me you didn't?" Rose laughs.

"Of course I didn't." I giggle. "What sort of obsessed stalker do you take me for? Besides, they wouldn't let women work in the mines in those days."

...

_He seemed so down, or perhaps that was just the exhaustion and poor diet._

_I started leaving him food parcels in his room while he was underground, wrapped carefully to keep the rats out, it used to take the poor man forever to break into them._

_And I used to shamelessly listen to his prayers before he went to bed each night. For his family, his co-workers and theirs, and for me, the beautiful angel who sparkled in the sun._

_It filled my heart with love and simultaneously broke it but I couldn't stay away._

_I was becoming something of a masochist where that man was concerned._

_The community was no stranger to mining accidents and the work that Jasper was able to do for the poor miners who wouldn't normally have been able to afford aftercare was incredible. To see them walk again from simple rehabilitation when once they would have been confined to a chair . . . ._

_So the day I felt the earth shake and knew there was a mine collapse is they day I almost died again._

_I knew as I ran that it wouldn't be Emmett's, unconcerned about profits his mine was the safest in the valley. No, it was the mine Carlisle worked in I was concerned about._

_Alice, Emmett and Jasper found me digging and pitched in without question, nevertheless it was hours before we found the trapped miners, only one of them clinging tenaciously to life._

_I accepted that night that some things are just meant to be._

_Jasper bit Carlisle, because I couldn't, and three days later he woke to his new life._

...

"Wow." Rose breathes, enthralled.

...

_We moved north to British Columbia, somewhere wild and remote for a newborn to adjust._

_Jasper had always suspected that we carry over our strongest traits as humans into our new lives, some of them manifesting as gifts. And Carlisle's compassion and goodness as a human had clearly come with him. He was for more controlled and calm than most newborns and my heart swelled with pride for him._

_With me he was once again shy, occasionally reaching out to touch my hand and tell me quietly that I was his beautiful angel._

_Jasper was highly entertained and more than a little touched when Carlisle formally asked him for permission to 'court' me._

_Far from anywhere we walked and talked for hours, learning about each other and falling more and more deeply in love. As a vampire I will never forget anything, even the most mundane images, but nothing resonates in my mind like the memory of a sunlit, sparkling Carlisle offering me a flower he had picked._

_When he first pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead I thought I would die and go to heaven._

_When he first kissed me on the lips, I literally did._

_And when I told him about my first husband he slaughtered a few trees and then held me in his arms for three solid days, telling me how much he loved me and how much he wanted to be the man to eradicate that pain from my life._

_After an appropriate amount of time he asked Jasper for my hand in marriage._

_Our wedding was of course small and devoid of all the people we had loved in our human lives, but we were there, and our new family were there, and it was magical._

_I could not help but be nervous on our wedding night._

_But I had no need to be._

_Carlisle was a passionate man but an intensely loving one. It was perfect, we were perfect._

_And my happy ever after had begun._

...

"What aren't you telling me?" She asks quietly.

"Please, Rose, don't focus on the negatives."

She raises an eyebrow and my heart goes out to her. Emmett and Bella are not the only Whitlocks who would quite like to kill Dick, if it ever comes to pass there will be a queue.

"Carlisle has completed me and my life in a way that I had never thought possible. I love him with every fibre of my being. And he is, without a doubt the best of us. But when we moved south again after his first year it became clear that despite that he was going to find it hard to resist human blood."

She swallows.

"It has been many years since he has killed but he still finds it hard. There is so much he wants to be able to do, practise medicine like Jasper for example, but he cannot, yet. He will, one day, his strength and goodness will win through."


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Five Skinning a Green Cat**

**RPOV**

Kissing Em is never going to get old.

I love when he trails his nose across my cheek so he can nibble, with lip covered teeth, on my ear lobe and the sensitive skin just behind it.

I have come to love the feel of his big arms wrapped around me, sometimes holding me tight, sometimes wandering lightly over my shoulder blades.

But my absolute favourite is still when his long fingers are threaded into my hair, sometimes tugging on it gently as our lips move together.

If he's frustrated I can't tell.

I fucking am though.

I'm a mass of contradictory wants and fears and I just don't know how to break the stalemate, only that I increasingly think I want to.

...

"Prom theme." Ang says, plonking herself down in the chair beside me. "We need one. The committee is divided."

"Over what?" I ask, smiling over at Em and Bella in the lunch queue.

"Bond theme or under the sea theme."

"Aren't they both a bit overdone?"

"Exactly." She sighs. "It's a rite of passage we all have to go through but I don't see why it has to be trite."

She stabs her salad a couple of times.

"Jessica, who looks good in blue, says under the sea would be 'ironic' and a sixties throwback." She growls. "And Mike wants Bond. The rest of them haven't got an idea in their heads beyond getting laid and its driving me _nuts_."

"Why not just go with an orgy theme?" Bella suggests joining us. "We wouldn't even need expensive dresses, we could just drape ourselves in bed sheets and put grapes in our hair."

Ang blinks at her.

"Maybe not." Bella shrugs with a grin.

"What does Ben think?" I ask.

"He's no use." Ang snorts disgustedly. "He wants Star Trek."

"It's different." Em says, dropping a kiss on the top of my head as he sits down next to me.

"Do we have to have a theme?" I muse. "I mean it's a dance, can't we just dance?"

"Prom theme." Em agrees.

"A Prom themed Prom?" Ang asks dubiously.

"Or a Prom movie themed Prom."

"Cool, bags I get to go as Carrie." Bella laughs.

...

The banner is up on Monday.

'Forks High, Great Proms of History'.

"You going Hale?" Mike asks as he steps up beside me to admire it.

"I'd better be." I growl.

"Oh you will be." Em says, wrapping his arms around me briefly from behind. "What about you Newton, think you can find a date?"

"I'll manage Whitlock."

"Sure you will." Em chuckles. "Let me know if you struggle though, I'm more than happy to help a brother out."

Mike snorts and strides away.

"You gonna invite him Em?" I inquire sweetly.

"Absolutely not. I'm taking my girl."

"You know you're supposed to ask, right?"

He spins me round, dropping to his knees and clasping his hands before him.

"Rosalie Hale, light of my life. Will you be my prom date?"

"I'll think about it."

"Good enough." He says, springing to his feet. "Now hop to it Honey, you'll be late for class."

I brandish my finger at him as I make my way to the gym.

...

"Dick called." Dad says as soon as I enter the kitchen.

It takes me a moment, but then my stomach falls to my feet.

"He wanted to confirm the details of your college fund."

"Um?"

"He wants to know where you've been applying."

"I haven't."

"Why not?"

"It's not my money."

"I don't have the cash he has baby, you know that."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does. I want you to have the best in life and I'm man enough to let another one pay for it if I have to."

"I have some saved up, Em never lets me spend a penny of my wages and I'm quite happy to work my way through if I have to. I'm a Hale, not a pansy ass King."

"Hate him that much, huh?"

"You have no idea."

"I would if you'd tell me."

"There's nothing to tell. What do you want for dinner?"

"Pizza, I'll fetch it in a minute so don't change the subject. That's well and good Rosie but you said you haven't applied for anything."

"You going all 'Tiger Dad' on me all of a sudden?"

"You waitin' to see where Emmett goes?"

"No."

"Rose . . . ."

"Dad. This is America, I don't have to go to college, I'm not even sure I want to. It's not like I wanna be a Doctor or a chemist or anything."

"What do you want Rose?" He asks, genuinely curious.

"I don't know Dad, I honestly don't know."

"You're not planning to marry the boy after Graduation, are you?"

"No! Jesus, what's wrong with you tonight?"

He sighs, deeply.

"I don't know, I guess Dick's call reminded me that you have more than one Dad and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

"I have _one_ Dad, Dad. Only one. And you're not doing a bad job. I'm top of the class in most subjects and have one of the best attendance records. And none of your Deputies have ever had to bring me home drunk."

We glare at each other, Hale style, for a while.

"What do you want on your pizza?" He asks eventually.

"Double pepperoni."

"Done." He says, plucking up his keys and heading out to his car.

I fish my cell out of my bag and fire off a text message.

'You can take your college fund and shove it where the sun don't shine. And don't you ever call my Dad again or I will tell him everything. I'll even reload his fucking gun for him.'

...

"Didn't get enough sleep last night, huh?" Lauren drawls as I slide into the seat next to her in class.

Bam!

...

"So." Bella drawls as she joins me in detention. "Here we are again."

I shrug.

"Anything I should know?"

"Nah. I'm good. Just needed to blow off some steam."

"I was running out of ideas." She says with a sigh. "I nearly went with Julia Stiles and flashed my boobies at Mr Simmons but then I remembered Edward and changed my mind."

"Probably wise. What did you do?"

"He was talking about Uranus and I asked him if he'd ever been poked in it."

"Had he?" I manage to ask between gales of increasingly painful laughter.

"We never established that." She snickers. "But I'm betting it's a yes."

...

Em is waiting for me on my release and Bella throws us both a wave as she departs in search of Edward, god forbid they should be parted for a moment longer than necessary.

Em picks my bruised fist up and places a soft cool kiss on it.

"Feel better now?" He asks.

"I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

He tilts his head affords me his winningest smile.

"It will only make you mad."

"Dick?" He asks, already looking it.

"He's been hassling Dad about my college fund, it's no biggie, I just wish he was completely out of my life."

He sighs and I sigh too. There's no need to say anything else, we've discussed it once or twice already. Other than murder, which we've ruled out, there's potentially only one way Dick's getting out of my life completely and I'm not sure if I can do it. To Mom, to Dad, to Em, or to me. My Dad's a cop, I know how my speaking out might prevent it happening to anyone else and I get that, I really do. But that's a lot of people to suffer on a 'might', including me.

It's hard to explain how that makes me feel, but 'not great about myself' just about sums it up.

Em, who knows this, folds me into his big arms.

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

"You could kiss me I suppose."

"Could I now?" He murmurs, weaving his hands into my hair the way he knows I like.

I nod.

"Outside." The Principal growls as he passes us.

"Can't wait that long." Em whispers, pressing his lips to mine.

The fiery tingly stuff starts immediately, as it always does, and my arms wind up around his neck.

My tongue, which is apparently on a different page to the rest of me, pokes out and strokes across his lips.

His answering groan goes straight to my knees and my mouth pops open.

He groans again and begins to ease us apart but I'm having none of that shit.

My tongue slides between his lips and I can hear and feel his huge intake of breath.

Then it's my turn to groan as his arms tighten around me and his own tongue gently yet thoroughly explores my mouth.

My already wobbly knees give up completely and he twirls me round, laughing, as our lips break apart.

"So going to kill me." He chuckles happily as he takes my hand.

...

Apparently Dad's conversation with Dick had awakened many latent parental concerns.

Over the course of the week we awkwardly, and much to Em's epic amusement, discuss boys, contraception, marriage, children and careers.

And I think poor Dad was as relived as I was when Friday rolled around and we could crack open a beer and change the subject.

...

There is more than one way to skin a cat and I have discovered three of them.

I might not be able to get rid of Dick but I'm safely away from him. One.

I am happy with my Dad, my friends and my boyfriend here in Forks. Two.

I have a boyfriend, who I am increasing able to kiss, cuddle and relax with physically. Three.

I guess there's a fourth too, but it's complicated.

...

Once we got the tongue thing out of the way kissing Em became a balancing act between gratification and terror and I don't think I could handle it if I didn't trust him implicitly, he seems to have an uncanny ability to know when it's time to stop.

He has his own reasons for that too.

I _am_ spun glass to him and he's been carefully honest about the other ways our being _close_ affects him.

And though I listen, and I appreciate his honesty, I don't _really_ understand.

He says a normal human boyfriend would want me, but that for a vampire that _want_ is magnified.

I'm not stupid, I know what he's talking about.

But I don't _understand_ it, having avoided it for the last couple of years. I know the mechanics of 'it'. I know that lots of people enjoy 'it'. But frankly they could be talking about green tea varieties for all the empathy I have with them. Though I'm not quite so afraid of green tea, I just don't like it.

I don't like green tea so I don't drink it. I've tried it though, more than once, Mom was a big fan and Alice was going to buy some before she foresaw my screwed up 'ew' face.

I didn't like 'it'. But I've never _tried_ 'it', at least not on my own behalf.

But might I? Should I? Could I? Is there any point?

Do the warm tingly feelings mean something?

I mean, they thrill me enough that though they scare me, I don't want them to stop.

And I'm pretty sure I never felt that way about green tea.

I should talk to someone.

I can talk to Em about anything, we've proved that, but maybe not this. Yet.

Dad's out and there's no fucking way I'm asking Ang. Which just leaves . . . .

They must know, what with the whole lack of privacy gig. And fuck knows that maybe they'd understand but . . . . and it's a big but . . . . if I'm struggling to think about it, stupid fucking green tea, how the fuck am I going to articulate it?

But then, maybe I don't need to.

Alice already knew I didn't like green tea.

Holy shit how much more complicated can I make it?


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Six Not So Iniquitous**

**BPOV**

"Can I come in?" Rose calls out, finding the door to the house open.

"You don't have to ask Rose." Alice trills back. "We're in the den."

So we are. All three of us.

"So, um, I guess you know I have some, um, questions?" Rose mumbles, examining her extremely cute mittens.

We all nod.

"All of you?" She asks, clearly daunted.

"We all have something to contribute." Alice says gently, patting the couch between her and Es. "And we all love you."

"Um . . . ."

"Oh sit down Rose." I drawl. "You came here because you know that, you don't have to actually admit it."

She slinks across the room, shedding her coat, and slides in between them, laughing as I curl up at her feet like a Spaniel.

"Are we alone?" She asks quietly.

"Of course." Alice chuckles. "I sent them all out on errands this morning when I saw your decision. I doubt they'll be able to find everything on my list, even in Seattle, but I'm sure they'll try."

"No secrets, huh?"

"Its hard." Alice confesses. "But not impossible, you'll get the hang of it."

Rose takes a deep breath, mustering all her courage.

"I don't know anything about sex." She admits, rapid fire. "Under the circumstances I've pretty much dodged every conversation about in recent years. When they held the classes in school I always went out and got trashed instead."

"Sex can be many things." Alice says, gently wrapping an arm around Rose's rigid shoulders. "A bargaining chip. A means of control, many types of control, including oppression. Purely for pleasure and personal gratification. An obsession or an addiction. A way to earn a living. Or the most amazing way for two people to express their love for each other."

I'm up . . . .

...

_We held hands, laying in a meadow slowing being covered by snow, and we talked and talked and talked._

_All his fears._

_All mine._

_It was terrible, how much he felt he did not deserve to be happy. And frightening for me, who only wanted to be._

_But some barriers were broken down that night._

_Unwilling to go south we moved sideways, becoming nomadic for a time. _

_We stole books, read them and then talked about them._

_We stole pianos for him to play._

_He composed me a lullaby, he couldn't actually send me to sleep with it, but that wasn't the point._

_We hunted together._

_And we continued to talk._

_Not always easy conversations._

_If he was surprised I was a virgin then I was amazed that he was. Maria, apparently, knew him well enough to know that allowing them to consummate their relationship would open up a can of worms she could not contain. And in the process she cemented another set of hang ups he already had. If she were not already dead . . . ._

_There were no real words for what I was back then. Frustrated was all I had._

_His kisses, his embraces, his words as he recovered himself, they were the epitome of sweetness._

_But I needed something else from him._

_I needed him to show me how much he loved me._

_There was no Cosmo on those days so I was left with my own barely remembered youthful conversations and my instincts. Succubus I was not._

_I put a sway in my hips that possibly reminded him more of Maybelline than it did sex._

_I styled my hair in a number of ways, including leaving it wild and loose so I could peer at him seductively through it._

_I let my bosoms heave and strain from their confines on more than one occasion. Hell, I even devised ways, not easy under the circumstances, for him to catch me bathing naked in waterfalls and streams. The Angel of Death, no matter how I tortured him, was determined to be the Angel of Propriety. _

...

"If I'd had a deer for every time I'd heard the words 'Its not that I don't want to Bella' I swear I'd have been able to put some weight on this puny nineteenth century form."

Rose snorts in amusement and I wag my finger at her.

"You can scoff young lady but your time will come."

...

_Isabella would have kept her counsel and patiently waited for something to happen._

_Bella had stolen and read a rather risqué book, not to mention lived in a vampire army camp for a while. And this version of me eventually became frustrated enough to mount a direct assault._

_I had tried the indirect approach, enthusiastically communicating my enjoyment of his attentions, attempting to loosen my own clothing claiming I was 'hot'._

_And I had tried a hybrid approach. Attempting to loosen his clothing. Wriggling around trying to get some more exotic part of me in contact with an exotic part of him._

_All of it to no avail other than a rebuttal when I went too far._

_So by the time I read that book I was both frustrated and feeling about as attractive as a cesspool._

...

"I realise a century or so later that I should probably have just talked to him but in my defence there wasn't anyone there to tell me that at the time."

I give her a meaningful look and she rolls her eyes at me.

...

_I did not do anything straight away but then the moment just came._

_We had hunted together and were draining the last of our kills. And I had previously noticed that he was more 'susceptible' to me when his vampire instincts were to the fore, his dark eyes then as he surveyed me over the neck of his kill just confirmed it._

_So I did it._

_I discarded my deer and coiled to my feet, releasing the buttons on the back of my bodice as I went._

...

"That historical movie stuff is crap Rose." Alice interjects. "Like we couldn't get out of our own frocks when we wanted to."

"And what we could do." I assure Rose. "Despite how hard it was, to imbue it with far more grace and sex than a modern woman could getting out of her jeans."

Es snickers and nods.

We all miss our frocks, but not enough to be Amish.

...

_One of my arms got stuck on the way out but nevertheless I was pleased with the way I shed my dress, stepping out of it with a nonchalant flourish._

_It seemed to be working, Edward had already abandoned his own kill and was watching me with dark hungry eyes._

_So I carried on._

_I had disdained corsets after my change, no need, so my breasts were already bared to him. The cool air was doing peculiar, tingly, things to them._

_I mustered my courage and eased down my drawers, stepping out of them daintily_

_I was not sure how stand when fully naked so I may have looked a little awkward._

_Nevertheless I watched his Adam's apple bob, he had a ludicrously attractive Adam's apple._

_And then my mind went blank._

_I was naked. Edward was obviously 'aroused' and I had absolutely no idea what to do next._

_When I am nervous or unsure I chew my lip, I can remember making it bleed once when I was a human._

_So I chewed it while I considered my options and the hideously embarrassing position in which I had placed myself._

_I was about to admit defeat and scramble back into my dress when he growled._

...

"He _growled_ at you?" Rose asks, confused.

"Oh yeah, it was sexy as hell . . . ."

"Bella." Alice interrupts. "I'm not convinced that rampant vampire sex is _entirely_ what Rose needs to hear about right now."

"Alice." I sigh. "Edward, remember?"

...

_That growl went straight to my repressed vampiric sex drive and I was on him in an instant, ripping at his clothes and fighting him tooth and nail as he tried to restrain me._

_Eventually his words penetrated the fog of lust and I relaxed beneath him. Well, almost, his weight on me was something to savour._

"_No, Bella, no. Not like this. Not for you, not for us."_

"_You don't want me." I mumbled, and not for the first time._

"_Its not that I don't want you Bella."_

_Now it was my turn to growl, in frustration not desire._

"_Please, Bella, love, listen to me. I at least want to do one thing right in this life and right by you, I love you, with all my heart. I want forever with you even though I don't deserve it."_

_His weight lifted and he helped me to my feet and I was not remotely disconcerted to remember that I was naked, not at all, as he dropped to one knee in front of me._

"_Isabella Marie Swan, will you consent to be my wife? Marry me and be mine for all eternity?"_

"_Oh, Edward . . . ." _

...

"You married him for sex?" Rose gasps in disbelief.

"Not just for sex, no." I huff, slightly offended. "I loved him, but frankly I _was_ looking forward to _that_ part . . . ."

...

_I have mentioned before that Edward is a highly motivated self starter._

_I was dressed and running hand in hand with him within moments of my acceptance._

_He was laughing and the happiest I had ever seen him, but oh so sweetly determined . . . ._

_He found a Preacher in the next town, he crossed his palm with a lavish pile of notes and he dragged a startled, but willing couple, off the street to act as witnesses._

_Peter and Charlotte Nicholson, I will always remember them, and their descendants will always be financially 'lucky'._

'_You may kiss the bride' was followed by the most amazing moment of my life to date, the look in his eyes as he took me in his arms and kissed me with a love and passion that almost made me go blind._

_We barely managed to accept our congratulations before we made it back to the wilderness._

...

"Wait, where did he get the ring . . . ."

"Do you want to pick holes in my happily ever after or do you want to learn?"

"Learn."

"Good. He stole it, from Charlotte, she didn't even notice."

...

_He made me sit on a rock in the dappled evening sunlight while he disappeared off into the trees._

_It was easy to ignore the commotion, frankly I was still in euphoria induced shock._

_When he returned and offered me his hand I took it without a second thought._

_He led me deep into the trees and then waited while I took it all in._

_The flower strewn clearing had been transformed into a lavish boudoir._

_Tree trunks had been used to create a giant four poster bed frame, pine branches to create the drapes, moss, grass and other soft materials to make the mattress._

"_Edward . . . ."_

"_I love you Bella. I want only the best for you. I cannot give it you right now but I can, I want, to show my intent."_

"_I do not need the best of anything Edward." I murmur, placing my hand over his heart. "I already have it. I have you."_

_He kissed me then, his hands roving over my back, undoing my buttons. And he did not resist when I eased the coat from his shoulders._

_We undressed each other slowly, taking the time to touch the newly exposed parts of our bodies and revel in the way they felt as they brushed against each other._

_There was no urgency, no vampiric lust, only love._

_In every touch and kiss._

_I felt warm when we started and I felt cascading tingles as he eased our naked bodies down onto the 'bed'._

_The way our skin felt as it slid together._

_The way his hands felt on my body and mine felt on his._

_The sound of it. Our tongues duelling, our gasps and moans, skin moving against skin._

_Tingles quickly became pulsing currents that jolted my muscles._

_I could not help but grow scared, but Edward, my love, my husband, he was more than I could have hoped for._

_Whispering words of love he kissed, licked and gnawed at every part of my body, even the ones I was ashamed of, until I was a grateful, amazed, quivering mass of jolting, tingling, 'need'._

_And when he entered me I knew._

_Knew that his caution and his hesitance were entirely justified._

_Our bodies, our hearts and our souls were joined._

_And the pleasure of all those fusions, there were not words, only sounds, gasps and moans._

_There was an eternal tempo in the way he moved over me and in me, kissing me deeply._

_And I welcomed the way the tingles and jolts intensified, unified, and lifted me toward the sky._

_My husband and I, we reached the pinnacle of pleasure and love together, crying out with the ecstasy of it._

_And we returned to earth, wrapped around each other, ready to grow into our eternity as one._

_..._

I smirk over my shoulder at Es, perfectly well aware that she was expecting something far more ribald from me.

Like she's an angel. I've seen her corset collection.

Borrowed 'em a time or two in fact.

But I don't have time to spare for sisterly ribbing so I turn my attention to Rose, my newest sister.

"Tingles?" She asks.

"Tingles." I confirm. "They mean something, they're the start of something. Something good. Don't ignore them."

Alice and Es nod in agreement.

Time to push my protective instincts a little.

"Do you love him?" I ask Rose as Alice tightens her arm around her and Es throws round her own.

She nods, focussing her attention on her hands.

"Then trust him Rose. Trust his love for you. Give the tingles between you a chance."

I cast another smirk at Es.

"No need for the loving yet fumbling first time with Carlisle you were planning yet dreading having to recount for her." I tell her too quickly for Rose to hear.

She scowls at me and I pat my chest and then blow on my fingers.

Shield.

I love my sister but really, she never asked, only made assumptions on what she knows about me now.

"Ladies." Alice sings. "My turn."


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Seven Coming to America**

**APOV**

_When I woke I had nothing._

_Just an image in my mind of a god like man with blonde hair and piercing amber eyes._

_It was so strong I believed he was standing before me but when I opened my eyes I saw only vibrant swatches of green, blue and white._

_It was beautiful._

_And so were the sounds in my ears. Flowing water, miniscule rustles and larger crashes that very gently vibrated the soft ground beneath me._

_And the scents, a cacophony of them, good, bad, startling, enticing . . . ._

...

"The visions started immediately." I confess quietly, remembering the confusion, the fear. "I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Just that physically I felt I was still lying, unmoving, on the wet ground."

...

_I remembered and knew nothing of who or what I was. But everything that I needed came to me in those visions._

_I saw myself being called Alice by various people none of whom I knew, in places I could not recognise and could scarcely credit._

_I saw myself killing people, tearing into their necks and draining their blood._

_I saw others doing the same._

_I saw bright yellow specs glinting in the sunlight._

_I saw a beautiful woman buried in rocks and dust._

_Two beautiful people making love in a forest._

_Strangers in brightly colored clothes dancing, parading up and down a pier without water._

_Metal carts pulled by invisible horses._

_Fires, famines, plagues, earthquakes, wars, fights, people reading books, staring at moving flat surfaces. People eating dinner, tending fields, arguing, hugging, shaking hands . . . ._

_I saw it all so fast I could not make hide nor hair of it._

_But interspersed with the terrifying images was that god like man, the one called Jasper, the vampire, like me._

...

"It's an odd thing to learn who and what you are by vision, let me tell you, but it beats the alternative." I shudder. "The crimes I could have committed . . . . That was the only time I ever saw the future as a genuine seer. Every time since I have always 'flashed' on something based on a decision that's been made."

"I can't even imagine." Rose sighs.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be." I laugh. "Sometimes I see something I don't like, change my own mind and spend a whole day watching pointless movies of the impact in my head, however I must admit that comes in handy when I'm designing clothes."

"I knew it!" Rose crows.

"Alice Brandon." I simper, offering her my hand to shake. "Pleased to meet you."

...

_Every time I decided to do something, anything, in those initial days I was assaulted by a plethora of images._

_That is how I learned that I was somewhere out of the ordinary, far from home. That I moved faster than anyone else and that the folks in the stockade below would be rightly terrified of me if I strolled down to join them._

_It is also how I learned to hunt. Deer, bison, mountain lion. But not human. Never human._

_I watched the town, Plymouth, burgeon but I stayed away because every time I decided it was large enough for me to pass unnoticed amongst the inhabitants I was assaulted with visions of death and destruction. For the most part I stayed away from the indigenous people for the same reason, though they seemed to know what I was and usually chose to stay well away from me._

_My clothes rotted and so I watched the natives and learned to make my own._

_I could move so fast, I could explore vast tracts of the largely empty land in days, but I always came back to the colony, because that is where I knew I was going to meet him. Jasper._

_He was a long time coming, especially to a woman who could so easily count the seconds, but the anticipation of his arrival was enough to keep me going, to keep me on the path I had chosen._

_Gradually the area became populated by more and more people and I could become less of a pariah. Never underestimate what humans notice though, especially back in those superstitious days. They told stories about me, they didn't know what I was or who I was, but every naughty child in the colony and surrounding farms had shuddered under their bedclothes wondering if I was coming for them at some point._

_Never mind the counter stories where I appeared and saved a youngster falling from a tree or drove a terrifying beast off someone's farm._

_I was lonely. But I was focussed and determined. I knew I was going to be happy._

_And then I saw him, boarding a ship, and I knew he was coming._

_Though I had always foreseen it, it still sent me into a mild panic. This god like man would become my husband and mate, my partner in life and the founder of our family. I could not greet him streaked with dirt and dressed in animal skins or stolen clothes, no matter how becoming . . . ._

_So I began a daily waterfall bathing regime and I stole fabric, yarn and needles so I could sew my own trousseau._

_What I could not do, no matter how I tried was tame my 'wild woman' of the New World hair. So I cut it. I had seen myself this way, happy this way, but it was still one of the hardest things I had done since waking, far harder than resisting the siren song of human blood._

...

"I thought about cutting my hair." Rose admits.

"Don't." Es pleads. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah." Bella chips in. "And Brother Bear _loves_ it."

...

_His skin was grey and his amber eyes were black with hunger when he finally arrived but he was still the most beautiful being I would ever behold._

_I had seen this moment in so many ways._

_He ran._

_He attacked me._

_He ignored me._

_He shook my hand and we began to talk._

_We stared at each other._

_In any of the ways, I knew eventually that he would be mine, so I stood firm in the sea of moving bodies until he saw me._

_We stared at each other._

_People began to notice._

_People began to recognise me._

_People started talking, loudly._

_And I wanted to run, this is what I had been avoiding._

_But Jasper, he began to move, walking toward me with his travel chest slung over his back like it weighed nothing at all._

_He was a fine figure of a man._

_He was the only figure of a man, thanks to my gift, no one else was ever going to come close. From the moment I opened my eyes he was my destiny._

"_Mistress." He greeted me. "Canst though direct me to good food and lodgings?"_

...

"Of course I could." I sigh. "I already had it all planned out. But I still wasn't certain what exactly was going to happen. We could have diverged for years before we finally came together. Or hit it off in a heartbeat. I just knew we'd get there eventually. I was far more invested in the immediate than the eventually, as I'm sure you can imagine."

...

_He followed me out into the wilderness and then hunted until his eyes were amber again._

_He was savage grace in motion and though I knew little of his history at that point, I knew that I would find out._

"_Who are you?" He asked._

_Of course I could only tell him that I did not know the answer to that question and that I had been waiting for him for decades._

_He did not laugh, run or attack me, instead we sat down and traded histories._

...

"Jasper is the oldest of us by many hundreds of years. It was quite a story."

...

_Sir Jasper Whitlock was born in England and travelled to the Holy Land to fight in the Crusades where he was eventually swept from his horse and left for dead on the bloody battlefield._

_Battlefields were attractive to many forms of carrion, one of which was The Volturi, our vampire overlords. I had 'seen' them, but until then not appreciated who or what they were._

_Eleazar, a vampire The Volturi used to sniff out potentially useful gifts, found Jasper as he lay dying and changed him._

_For the Guard._

_The Volturi, led by a vampire named Aro, maintained a cadre of the most gifted of vampires to defend their thrones and their privacy._

_The Knight, Jasper Whitlock, became one of them._

...

"Jasper was a knight?" Rose gasps.

"Oh yes." I respond. "Almost right out of a fairy tale, horse, shiny armour, sword and lance, until the moment Eleazar bit him."

...

_He was quite content with his new life, strength over his foes, a cause to fight for. The price he was paying was not apparent to him. The Volturi resided in a citadel in Italy where his every desire was immediately catered for._

_Jasper had heard the Islamic tales. _

'_They shall recline on jewelled couches face to face, and there shall wait on them immortal youths with bowls and ewers and a cup of purest wine (that will neither pain their heads nor take away their reason); with fruits of their own choice and flesh of fowls that they relish. And theirs shall be the dark-eyed houris, chaste as hidden pearls: a guerdon for their deeds... We created the houris and made them virgins, loving companions for those on the right hand...'_

_And he was there._

_He fought for them, earning himself the moniker God of War._

_But increasingly he became aware that something was wrong. Edward and I came into our vampire gifts immediately but Bella and Jasper grew into theirs over time._

_He could feel the emotions of this prey first, this made feeding an uncomfortable chore rather than the pleasure it had been. Then he began to sense the emotions of his brothers and sisters in the Guard. He had always been aware that The Volturi operated on fear, it was not an uncommon management tool in those days, but when he started to feel the results in those weaker than him it quickly became a weight pressing him down._

_Yet Jasper was nothing if not pragmatic, he learned to live with it. And his gift was not all bad, certain experiences like the ecstasy of battle or the joy of sex were enhanced by what he could feel in others._

_Eventually he came to understand that he could also influence emotions in others. Make sad people feel happy in his presence, calm his meals as he fed, entice a woman to want him when he wanted her._

...

Rose looks concerned.

"Did he ever try that on you?" She asks, worrying at her lip.

"Only ever when I asked him to." I assure her.

"You asked him?"

"Of course. We love and trust each other. He would never hurt me and never force me to do anything. I was curious, I wanted to know what it was like."

I can see the question she wants to ask.

"It was wonderful, one of the happiest nights of my life. Jasper can't manufacture emotions, he can only project what he feels himself."

"Oh." She says, coloring as understanding dawns.

...

_Overtime however he became more and more disillusioned with life at Volterra, he wanted something more. During peaceful periods he spent increasing amounts of time in their library devouring books and learning, which is how he came to be friends with Eleazar. Both of a scientific bent and with keen enquiring minds, they began taking an interest in human medicine. _

_Eleazar it turned out was also growing weary of their lifestyle, and having recently mated with another member of the Guard, Carmen, they had both begun to wish for a more peaceful productive life._

_Leaving the Guard was not a common occurrence, especially when you held such honoured places in it as Eleazar and Jasper did._

_And hiding their desires from Aro was not an option either._

_Aro has a gift similar to Edward's though he needs skin to skin contact in order for it to work, his is the more powerful though. While Edward can hear what someone is thinking Aro is able to access their memories too. It is a very powerful tool, or weapon, depending on your view point._

_Though a ruler by any means available to him Aro was not a complete despot and he tried for many years to persuade Eleazar and Jasper to stay with The Volturi, he even tolerated, with some amusement, their first fumbling attempts to switch their diet to the local wildlife. In fact as a man of science himself he was fascinated to see what affect animal blood would have on two strong vampires. He was even helpful to a degree, suggesting they turn attention from the wildlife, which even in those days was somewhat limited, to domestic animals. He was enchanted when their eyes began to change color from ruby red to gold. He had expected the animal blood to weaken them physically but it did not, they merely needed to feed more often and admitted honestly that it left them permanently thirsty. If he had hoped that that alone would encourage them to stay he was disappointed. Their resolve only strengthened as their underlying vampiric natures softened with their new diet._

_When other members of the Guard noticed this change and began to challenge Jasper's authority they were, however, disappointed. The God of War was still there, just more inclined to resolve differences peacefully and when that did not work he went right back to asserting himself physically._

...

"Jasper chose a different way, became a healer, but he is still the last of the Knights Templar and other vampires cross him at their peril. Even Edward would not dare oppose him when our lives or family are at stake."

Rose nods, wide eyed and possibly trying to reconcile that image with the mild mannered Doctor she knows.

...

_Eventually Aro, who was ancient enough to have developed a long view of life, relented and let them go, having decided it was better to retain them as allies for the future than lose them and their gifts forever._

_Carmen and Eleazar immediately left for Spain and Jasper travelled Asia and Europe, honing his medicinal skills before finally returning to England._

_Like Italy however his home had changed enough that living the vegetarian lifestyle was not that easy and so, like many of his human peers, he decided to come to the New World. He could have swum, but living amongst the humans encouraged him to think and act like one, so he paid his passage and boarded a ship._

_And the first thing he saw when he arrived was another vampire._

_Me._

...

"That's quite a story." Rose acknowledges. "But I want to know what he said when you told him you'd been waiting for him."

"I thought you weren't a romantic." Bella snorts.

"You guys are rubbing off on me." Rose snarls, pretending like she minds.

...

"_You have been waiting for me?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Why?"_

"_I knew you would come."_

"_You told me that." He said with a glorious smile. "I want to know why."_

"_When I woke I had nothing, no memories of my human life. Your face in my vision is the first thing that I saw. And it was through my conversations with you that I found my name and who I was."_

"_And what is your name?"_

"_You call me Alice."_

"_Alice." He laughs, a deep rumbling sound. "I like it. So tell me Alice, who did I say you were?"_

"_Your Mate." _


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Eight The Whitlocks**

**APOV**

_The god like man, stared at me, speechless, for what, to a vampire, felt like an extremely long time._

_And then he started laughing, robustly._

_This was not a reaction I had foreseen and therefore not one I had prepared for._

_One of the things Jasper subsequently did for me was help me to allow life to happen to me, rather than needing to be in control of every single event._

_But back then, if I had not foreseen a boulder flying toward me through the air and planned and re-planned my actions in advance, I would just have stood there and let it hit me._

_So I could do nothing but wait._

_When he calmed he was smiling at me through the curtain of his long blonde hair which had come loose from its bindings._

"_Well Alice." He said "That is quite an introduction."_

"_I am sorry." I murmured._

"_Your gift?" He asked after a moment or two. "Is it always correct?"_

"_That is difficult to say, the futures I see, they seem to be based on decisions and actions rather than just blanket futures. They change, all the time."_

"_But are we always Mates?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Interesting."_

_Silence._

"_I cannot deny that I find you attractive Alice." He said eventually, shaking his head. "But, mates, hmm . . . ."_

_I 'see' him make the decision to leave me and return to the town and so I hide my smile when he bids me farewell, swings his travel chest onto this back and walks away._

...

"What did you see?" Rose demands heatedly.

"Exactly what happened."

...

_I had no need to move from that place so I merely arranged myself gracefully on the lush grass and waited._

_Precisely twenty four hours later he returned, attired in fresh clothing and properly groomed._

"_Mates?" He asked, scratching the back of his handsome head._

"_So you told me."_

"_How does that work now that __you__ have told __me__?"_

_I shrugged, he had me there, I had absolutely no idea._

"_What do we do now?" He inquired, charmingly amused and confused at the same time._

"_What would you like to do now?"_

_Many possible outcomes flashed before my eyes, not one of which I had an objection to. He was my happily ever after and I was ready for it to begin as soon as he was._

"_Perhaps you should show me your home?" He asked._

_So I did, all the great majestic sweeps of it._

_And we talked and talked and talked as we explored, it was just so much better with him beside me, and to hear of his work with humans as a Doctor and his plans to develop that, his hopes that vampires could live as loving family units rather than warring covens. And he seemed continually surprised by my surviving alone without degenerating to a total savage. We talked about what some of the stranger things I saw that first day might mean and we speculated about the other amber eyed vampires I had seen in them._

_By the time we crossed what would later become the Ohio / Indiana state line he admitted that he may be falling in love with me._

_We kissed for the first time on what is now the Illinois / Missouri state line._

_I have a special love for Missouri for it was on a large river bluff overlooking the Mississippi that he told me I was his Mate and took me as one._

...

"Weren't you scared?" Rose asks.

"Oh no, I think it may have helped that I had seen it, in one way or another, many times. But I wouldn't have been afraid even if I hadn't. When two people love each other there's nothing to be afraid of. But we aren't all like Bella and Edward, Jasper and I had several, um, attempts at it before I was seeing stars and floating away in my own little cloud of ecstasy."

"But he didn't hurt you?"

"No Rose, he would never do that. He was gentleness personified, I simply had no clue what was going on, I knew I was being loved but it was difficult to keep track of all the sensations. Practise made perfect however."

She sighs, falling to examining her hands again.

"Rose." Bella urges gently. "You'll know when you're ready for anything and as a strong woman you'll be able to let Em know. But you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Em loves you, he would _never ever _forgive himself if you did something with him because you felt you had to."

"I know that." Rose asserts with a quiet belief that makes my heart swell.

"Do you want me to tell you how we met him?" I ask.

"Would he mind?" She asks eagerly.

"No. He absolutely wouldn't."

...

_Jasper and I had travelled all over the continental US by the time we came to California in the age of the Gold Rush. The sense of excitement drew us just as it did everyone else._

_We had by then met several other vampires in the New World, as Jasper quaintly insisted on calling it, none of whom shared our diet but not all of whom were savages despite their dining choices. We were aware of the Southern Vampire Wars and we avoided the areas for two reasons. A desire to walk among the humans we were trying to help in the light, and because Jasper's soul was weary of war. _

_To be honest, for me, only knowing what Jasper told me about his past and the stories I heard from the vampires fleeing the South I was not sure I wanted much to do with the rest of our kind._

_Jasper continued to learn and study, posing as a student many times over to hone his medicinal craft so that he could use it for people who would not normally have access to such care. Nevertheless with his patients and my burgeoning investment skills we had already begun to amass quite a fortune._

_Yet I was rather taken with the idea of panning for gold, so we settled into one of the new, rough hewn, towns that had grown up._

_If the other residents thought it was strange that Doctor Whitlock bought his wife a claim and allowed her to work it alone during the day they kept their own counsel on the matter._

_But that is how I came to know Emmett, he and his brothers who were working the neighbouring claim and always kept a watchful eye on me. I never needed to risk exposure by defending myself, Emmett McCarty was always there when I needed him. He was a well built handsome man who never ever stopped smiling, even when he was intoxicated and exercising his massive fists, often on his equally enthusiastic brothers. He was a true gentleman though, always polite, always ready to help, always ready to crack jokes, tease, play tricks and lighten the communal mood._

...

"He said he was a yahoo." Rose giggles.

"Oh he was. Chewing with his mouth open, scratching his butt in front of a lady, profane language, obsessed with feats of strength, farting, drink and flirting badly with the ladies. You couldn't hate him for it though, he was just too damn nice, and that smile . . . ."

Rose hums in dreamy eyed agreement and Bella hides her laughter in her sleeve.

...

_When Emmett's brother Mickey got sick Jasper insisted on treating him for free, all the brothers McCarty had that affect on people. Jasper particularly loved the pure simplicity of their emotions, when they were acting happy it was because they were happy, there was no duplicity in them._

_Though the California sun made us hide too often we loved it there, the atmosphere, the possibilities, it was an amazing time and place to be alive._

_But it had its darker side._

_The promise of riches brings all manner of despicable creatures out of the woodwork and I am not talking about vampires. For every atrocity we are capable of committing the humans always somehow seemed to be able to top it._

_I do not wish to sound sexist but I do not think that the fact it was a predominantly male environment helped either._

_Certainly not for me._

_Not that I was ever in any real danger or that one run in with either the Brothers McCarty or the surprisingly terrifying Doctor Whitlock wasn't enough for me to become invisible from that point on, but fresh miners arrived every day so there was always someone on a steep learning curve._

_We tried our hardest, not to kill humans, Jasper and I, but when they tried to shoot us we were not often left with many alternatives. But we remained staunch vegetarians, though that is still the period in my life when I was most tempted._

_And then there was the stealing._

_Some people just did not see the point in seeking out their own treasure when they could take someone else's._

_We were over the moon when the Brothers McCarty struck it rich, if anyone deserved it, and many did not, it was them._

_And we were close by when it happened, just not close enough to stop it._

_Mickey McCarty was killed outright, a bullet through the brain._

_Youngest, Ethan, was wounded in the leg._

_Emmett was shot in the chest, I could hear the air and blood bubbling as he lay dying on the ground, desperately trying to exhort Jasper to care for his bothers._

_My Mate and I shared a look over his prone form and then Jasper lowered his head and bit him._

_I chased down the miscreants while Jasper took our first 'son' to a safe location for his change._

_I waited patiently while they unloaded their guns on me._

_And I waited while they fumbled to reload and tried again._

_I actually enjoyed, for the first time, the way urine dripped down their legs._

_And then I tore them limb from limb._

_I returned the gold to Ethan, whose leg Jasper had already bound, and I delivered him to the shack of some other 'good' miners that we knew, before heading after my growing family._

...

"What happened to Ethan?" Rose whispers.

"He made it home to the family with his fortune, a vampire friend of ours, Garrett, followed him to make sure. The McCartys have enjoyed a successful dynasty ever since. Not millionaires but comfortable successful farmers, just as they always wanted to be."

...

_Emmett McCarty Whitlock was a problem child from the get go._

_He wanted to be good but it was quite a long time before he actually was._

_He was either tearing into the landscape, revelling his new strength and speed, or he was trying to drain anything that moved and pumped blood._

_You could not hate him for it though, he was so happy poor Jasper was positively dopey with it._

_He killed a human or two in his first year. An open wound, even at a distance, was all it took to attract him._

_But he learned quickly and he did not want to be a killer._

_He was however, the original adrenaline junky._

_If you could jump off it, swim through it, or dangle from it he was at the front of the queue._

_It was also extremely difficult to get him to comply with our laws._

...

"The boy just wanted to do good and I don't think he is entirely showing off when he credits himself with being the origin of the superhero."

...

_Eventually he learned to control himself and we re-integrated with society._

_Once again moving from town to town in the northern states where we were less restricted by the weather. Being confined indoors was anathema for Emmett, he was so vital he always needed to doing something._

_We managed to teach him to read and take an interest in learning but despite his quick intelligence he was always a man of action, any action._

_But we were a loving family, just and Jasper and I had wanted._

...

"Did he ever regret it?" Rose asks.

"Never."

"What about the rest of you?"

"No, I am happy with what I am and the life I have." Bella states.

"It is the only life I have known." I confess. "But I have not ever thought about having another, I'm happier than most people ever get to be."

"I would have liked children." Es admits and Bella pats her knee. "But I can live without them if I have Carlisle, he's my heart and soul."

"Alice Whitlock." My Mate growls as he leads the others into the house. "This is the shopping list from hell, what are you up to?"

"Nothing darling." I chuckle as they appear in the doorway. "Did you get it all?"

"You know we did." Edward answers, darting past Jasper to snatch a laughing Bella into his arms.

"Was it hard?"

"Mistress." My Mate sighs. "With you it always hard."

There's some snickering which thankfully goes over Rose's head because she's too busy enjoying being wrapped in Emmett's big arms again.

I love that boy and I want him to be happy, but he hasn't chosen an easy target for his long suppressed affections and I can't see what will eventually happen, there is too much confusion.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Twenty Nine Promenade**

**RPOV**

Em and I are alone at his place, supposed to be doing our homework, but instead we're making out like a couple of horny teenagers, which one of us actually is.

I am in love with Em, I just haven't admitted it to him yet. There are so many complications, though I think, I hope, he knows it anyway. I try to show him, in the ways that are accessible to me, but mostly with the blinding heartfelt smile I give him every time I see him.

The future that was once an escape from Dick is rapidly becoming a bleak place that doesn't have Em in it.

Of all the things I'm struggling to articulate to him, that's the biggest.

I don't know how to love someone, let alone someone I'm going to lose.

What I want to do, increasingly, is savour every moment I get.

I don't care about college and my education, I never have properly, I just want to be happy while I can.

And I don't care about leaving Forks anymore either.

I find myself straddling his lap as I kiss the living daylights out of him, this is more than I've . . . . I'm afraid, but I'm not . . . .

My body wants to move itself against him, but my brain wants to go see what's weird on TV, get my body away from him . . . .

"Your safe here Honey." He breathes into my mouth. "We love each other, you're safe here, let yourself go."

His arms tighten around my waist and I find myself rocking against him, welcoming his tongue into my mouth, a tingling fire spreading through my whole body . . . .

I can't . . . . deal with it . . . . but I can't stop . . . . it . . . .

"Em . . . ."

"I love you . . . . trust me . . . . trust us."

"Oh . . . . Em . . . . I love you too . . . ."

His hips move gently beneath mine and then it happens . . . . warm liquid pleasure washes gently over me . . . . his cool lips ghosting lightly over my arched throat as he murmurs words of love . . . .

"_Fuck_." I exclaim in complete shock, collapsing against him.

...

So, I spent the following week laughing at inappropriate moments and for no apparent reason.

Tingles, who fucking knew?

This isn't a fairytale or a movie so Em and I aren't just gonna move straight on to earth shattering sex, as if, but I did learn something about myself, I'm not frigid as Dick always maintained. With hindsight I'm not sure how I ever managed to be a frigid whore, but then Dick was always a dick.

Fuck you Dick, I might just turn out to be normal!

Because I can't wait for Dad to go night fishing with Billy at the weekend.

...

Mrs R wasn't herself on Saturday, she seemed more tired and slow than she'd ever been before. No one has ever asked her how old she was but I'm guessing pretty ancient . . . .

I texted Em to pick me up later and stayed to help her. She lives in an apartment over the shop and she talks while I fix her something for dinner.

I hear all about her husband who inherited the store from his father. How happy they were, even when they realised they were never going to have kids. How fiercely she loved him and how fiercely she doesn't want to sell out to Newton senior, who she can remember as a snot nosed kid. How much she loathes filling in forms, which I knew, and how much she admires my Dad and loathed my Mom. Flibbertigibbet she called her, always wanting something she didn't have. She also shed some light on Dad's New Year's Eve outbreak of killjoy, Mom told him she was leaving him at a New Years Eve party. That sucks.

I listened as best I could and then brought out her dinner, but she'd fallen asleep . . . .

"Mrs R?"

"Dinner?"

"Mrs R?"

Oh shit, fucking shit, no . . . .

Jasper arrived within seconds and confirmed what I already knew.

Mrs R had gone to the great hardware store in the sky.

...

I saturated my Dad that night, then Em, after he'd climbed through my window. I fucking loved Mrs R. She was _awesome_.

...

"No."

"Dad!"

"No. I get that you don't want to go to college, fine. But there is no way I am letting you drop out of High School, what sort of father would that make me?"

"A cool one?"

"No."

"But Dad, if I leave the store closed for a couple of months I'll never get the business back, not even come the summer. I knew she left me some money too but not enough for that. She didn't want Newton to put the store out of business and now you're gonna make _me_."

"Rose, baby, it's not that simple and I'm sure it's not that dire."

"Argh!" I screech. "You know nothing about it. I do. She was teaching me."

I hadn't realised at the time, I just thought she was one of those people whose every thought came out of their mouths like a verbal water spout. I hadn't even realised I was listening.

"Why don't you sell to Newton? He's offered quite a tidy sum, you could still go to college if you change your mind, or set yourself up with a better start in life than most kids your age get."

"Mrs R's already given me a better start than most people get. Why won't you let me?"

"Couldn't you just open it a couple of evenings and weekends?"

"Argh." I groan this time, utterly frustrated. "No wonder you're a cop."

"I only ever wanted to be one." Dad admits. "But that's not the point."

"Then what is the point Dad? If I close the store while I finish up school I'm gonna lose it?"

"Rose, baby . . . ."

I'm saved from another insight into his epic lack of understanding by a knock at the door.

Dad opens it to reveal Jasper and Carlisle, what the fuck?

"Hey Chief." Jasper greets him, the pair of them sharing a manly handshake. "Got a minute?"

"Sure." Dad responds, gesturing them in. "I could do with an interruption from trying to talk some sense into my boneheaded daughter."

"Ah." Jasper chuckles. "I know how that feels."

I glare at him and he laughs louder.

Dad ushers them into the kitchen and hands them a beer they won't drink, such a waste, I don't get one, not in front of the town Doctor.

I smile tentatively at Carlisle and he shocks the shit out of me by giving me a blinding smile back. Jesus that man's good looking when he's not looking so serious, no wonder Esme fell so hard for him.

The weather, fish, and the economy are discussed briefly and I scowl at them, as if Dad knows anything about the economy.

"So." Jasper says eventually, putting aside his untouched beer. "Em told me about the hardware store, which is wonderful by the way, Mrs Reynolds was a hard woman to impress Rose but she obviously liked you."

"I guess." I mutter, embarrassed.

"Anyway, Alice and I were talking about and probably came to the same conclusion you did Chief."

"Please, call me Phil." Dad interrupts. "Our kids are going steady."

"Phil." Jasper acknowledges. "Fair enough. Well, I hope you don't think we're meddling but we had an idea. The older kids are driving us nuts being at home all day waiting to leave for college this fall and Carlisle and Es in particular are longing to move out from under the parental foot, so we wondering if they couldn't help Rose out while she finishes up school and decides what she wants to do with the store. We understand how important an education is to a good start in life . . . ."

I tune out the rest of his spiel as I attempt to communicate with Carlisle without words.

By dint of some rolled eyes, smiling and head tilting I come to the conclusion that he and Esme actually _want_ to do this.

'You sure?' I mouth at him.

'Yes.' He mouths back, nodding for emphasis.

'Wow. Thank you.'

And I'm rewarded with that blinding smile again.

Dad seems to think it's a good idea and I spare him the impending headache by joining the conversation for the financial bits. Es and Carlisle don't want much in terms of salary, lodging in the apartment over the store will be their main payment and I can carry on pretty much doing the hours I was already.

It's perfect.

...

The only person who wasn't happy was Mike Newton Senior.

Shame that.

Mrs R would have cried for him, howling tears of laughter, but still . . . .

...

Em started working in the store too, claiming quite rightly, that it was the only way he was ever gonna see me.

He did however insist on his dutiful boyfriend honours not being diminished so he made me take time off to study and to enjoy life.

I love the store and I love the future Mrs R has inexplicably given me but time is moving on, Graduation is coming up and I'm feeling the pressure to make the most of everything I have while I still have it.

But first, Forks High School's unfashionably early Prom.

...

Ang, Bella and I went dress shopping in Seattle, Bella knew all the best vintage shops where we could get something stylish and different with our limited cash. She also has a surprisingly good eye for a woman who disdains fashion and usually exists mainly in jeans, vintage t-shirts and sneakers. Her style has always fascinated me, considering Edward's like Em, a walking menswear advertisement for hip rich people.

Ang, who is six feet tall, eventually decided on a flapper dress that showed off her slim frame and endless legs. We weren't sure it fit with Proms of History, since we didn't know when Proms started but Bella assured us, with some authority naturally, that Ang was bang on theme.

Bella went for a fifties dress in a stunning turquoise that she said would both launch Edward's boat and float it into the stratosphere. Ang and I didn't comment, we've learned that lesson the hard way, you ask Bella a question and she will answer you, usually in a graphic detail that has us both scrambling for cover.

It was me that turned out to be hardest to shop for and I asked Bella a million times why I couldn't just wear the dress Alice and Jasper had given me for Christmas, but her answer was always a determined _because_.

"Rose." Bella huffs eventually when Ang's wandered off to look at jewellery. "I don't see what the problem is, you wear more revealing shit than this to school."

"I don't want Em to think I'm a slut, I want him to have a classy girlfriend to take to Prom."

She growls and yanks me back into the changing room, banging the door shut behind her.

Oops, scary vampire.

"You. Are. Not. And. Have. Never. Been. A. Slut." She says, punctuating every word with a poke at my exposed sternum. "And Em wouldn't think you were one if you fucking turned up naked!"

"I . . . ."

"Shut up Rose." She growls menacingly. "You are a beautiful woman, it's one of the things my brother appreciates about you. He likes being able to show you off. He's a man. He's got the whole caveman 'look what I've got' thing going on. That doesn't make him a douche, it just makes him normal. If you wanna go to your Prom wearing a burka then fine, do it, but don't do it just because you think you should. Fucking Dick, who I _haven't_ said I won't kill by the way, does not run your fucking life. You. Do."

"Are you done poking me now?" I snarl. "Because I'm starting to bruise."

"I don't know, are you done being fucking stupid?"

"For now."

"Good enough."

We emerge from the changing room to find Ang brandishing a classic 80's little black dress.

"Its so you!" She says, waving it in excitement. "You've so got the legs and boobs for it."

"Oh baby." Bella snorts as she starts laughing. "Em fucking loved the eighties."

...

I bought it in the end, because I did look fucking good in it. And also because Bella got sick of me asking 'are you sure' and pitched a fit that had Ang and I mortified to within an inch of our lives.

We found me some over the top eighties jewellery to go with it and a pair of plain black heels that even _my_ ankles were mildly afraid of.

...

Most of us were making a modest way to Prom but that wasn't good enough for Bella and Em, so Ang, Ben and I found ourselves collected from our homes by a stretch limo that had trouble backing out of our drives.

There was even a bottle of champagne cunningly disguised as alcohol free wine.

...

Em had hardly said a word about my outfit so I was feeling a little self conscious, not to mention terrified for my hair. Es and Bella had teased it to within an inch of its life, eighties big hair style, and I'm not sure its ever going to be the same again, god, the split ends . . . .

He catches my hand though as everyone else is exiting the limo in the parking lot, pulling me deftly back into his lap.

"I loved the eighties." He murmurs into my ear. "And I love you in this dress, you really are trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"You really think its okay?"

"Honey." He sighs, rubbing his nose across my cheek. "You look unbelievable, every loser in Forks is going to be even more jealous of me than they were before."

"I wish . . . ."

He places a cool finger over my lips.

"I don't. You've made me the happiest man alive these past few months. And tonight is all about you. Let's go dance."

"All about me?"

"All about you."

"Hmm. In that case no dancing will occur until you've kissed me Emmett McCarty Whitlock."

"I didn't think I was allowed to ruin your lipstick." He hums, brushing his lips over mine.

"Fuck the lipstick." I growl, attacking his mouth with mine.

I could have stayed there all night but Bella sent the Angel of Death to bang on the limo roof.

Quite a come down for him I would imagine . . . .


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Permission Granted**

**RPOV**

My BFF and I, we'd talked about our anticipated Prom night, our amazing dates and dresses.

Neither one of us would have foreseen me going in with my lipstick kissed off and my, frankly unimaginably amazing date, draped around me like a fur stole.

"Here we go again." Bella sighs, taking Edward's hand and leading him forward.

Ang and Ben have already rushed off to get their photo taken.

"Shall we?" Em asks, gesturing over.

"Must we?"

"You don't want a memento?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Of course I do, stupid Rose, and he laughs as I drag him over there.

I doubt it's going to be a classic Prom photo, I suspect Em's giant fingers will be making rabbit ears over the top of my head but that's okay, that's Em.

...

We danced and talked to our classmates, Prom does strange things to people, even ole Fat Face was friendly, telling me about her college plans and complimenting me on my dress.

Jessica did indeed look good as a blue mermaid, though it kind of hindered her ability to dance with Tyler and though Lauren looked like a ready to roast pork loin with her silver tube dress and platinum hair I refrained, in the spirit of goodwill, from saying so.

But by eleven I'd had enough, the band were okay but it wasn't my kind of music and my killer heels were killing the balls of my feet, seriously, they were starting to feel like they were on fire.

"Come on." Em urges, seeing me flag. "Let's go home and rest your poor feet."

"What about all the parties?"

"You want to go?"

"I feel like I should."

"But do you want to?"

"No. I'd rather be alone with you."

"Okay then, come on."

"Carry me?" I pout, joking.

But this is Em and he sweeps me into his arms and triumphantly out of the gym.

Me and the BFF, we never came up with anything _that_ good.

...

Em insists we travel home via The Lodge and I have to say a burger was just what I need right then.

The limo drops us off at my place and then makes a one hundred seventy point turn so it can head back to the school, I never even saw the driver . . . .

Em starts laughing almost immediately because there's a note pinned to the door.

'I am working. Whitlock, though I cannot see you, know that I am watching you, enter at your peril.'

"Now there's a double meaning." Em snorts and I cuff him, though very gently.

I shake my head and lead him inside where a clearly conflicted Dad has left us another note and a bottle of champagne.

'Prom is an important rite of passage. One at a time kids.'

"I'm confused." Em admits.

"So is Dad." I giggle.

"Here." Em says hefting me up onto the counter and removing my shoes. "Want a foot rub?"

"Do I . . . ."

He hands me a glass of champagne and sets to work and within moments I'm making embarrassing and involuntary noises of enjoyment.

"Fuck that's good. Can you do that every time I've been working at the store?"

"If you want Honey, you can add it to my schedule of duties."

I sigh.

"What's up?" He asks as he continues to do amazing things to my poor traumatised feet.

"You do so much for me." I admit.

"Of course I do." He answers easily, continuing his ministrations. "I love you.

"I love you too but I don't do anything for you." I point out.

"Really?" He asks, releasing my feet.

"Jesus Em, where would I start?"

"You love me Honey." He says simply, looking at me, all open, honest and irresistible Emness. "You consented, twice, despite the less than ideal circumstances to be my girlfriend. You gave me ducks and you know how much I love Penelope, Feathers, Constance and Edward. You listen to my old man reminisces, you laugh at my jokes and you're the only person in my family that doesn't think my flirting sucks rocks. You don't let me get away with any shit. You've given me your trust which I consider to be fucking priceless. And you kiss me, which I very _very_ much appreciate."

Oh god, I don't think we've entirely addressed the imbalance here but I had another goal in mind for tonight.

Okay. Here we go.

"I like the kissing part too." I confess.

He smiles at me, just that fucking happy Em smile that lights me up and makes it impossible not to smile back.

But he doesn't say anything which means I have to. Fair's fair I guess. I always knew it would have to be me.

"I, um, I . . . ."

His smile fades and he starts to look concerned, which I hate. Hate, hate, hate.

It's on the tip of my tongue to say I don't want to be defective as a girlfriend, but that will set him off.

I could say I know I'm not giving him what a man needs, likewise, furious Em.

If I start with the euphemisms, the tingles, he's just going to laugh at me. Fuck, I'm going to laugh at me. Which, on reflection, might not be a bad way to go . . . .

"Honey?" He asks, beyond concerned now, waving his hand in front of my frozen face in fact.

"I want more than kisses!" I blurt out.

His mouth drops open.

Mine clamps shut.

So we stare at each other, on the edge of one of those minefield conversations only I, the one with the issues, can navigate us through.

And that is something I can do for him. That's something I can do for both of us.

"I'm not Em, I can't . . . . but I want . . . . fuck I don't know what I want . . . ."

Okay, maybe not navigate, more open the floor for discussion.

I can almost hear the gears slipping in his head.

"I know, stuff, is supposed to be spontaneous, but, um . . . . fuck . . . . I don't . . . . um, that's not gonna work with me . . . . I kind of need to know what's coming?"

Don't laugh, don't laugh.

He doesn't.

"And I was kind of hoping . . . . that, um, what with, um, stuff . . . . that you'd feel the same way?"

Oh good Rose, that's the kind of navigation that'll get you to Portland when you wanna go to Seattle. What the fuck . . . .

"I have no idea." He says, gathering me into his arms and moving us to the couch with me sideways in his lap. "What the fuck you just said. But I would very much like to find out."

"You're not gonna make this easy for me are you?" I murmur into his chest.

"I want to try." He teases. "But there is a precedent."

"I don't know why I love you." I huff.

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

"What?"

"Sorry, I digressed. You mentioned more than kissing. This is something I am willing to explore, contractually speaking, in the girlfriend / boyfriend stakes. State your terms."

I laugh at his serious tone and then sober.

"Tingles . . . ."

Oh god, Rose!

"Yeah. I get those."

"You do?"

"Oh yeah. They start in the groin though I'm afraid to say."

"I guess everything has to start somewhere."

"So we're told. A lot of man stuff starts there to be fair, we kind of can't help it."

"I see."

"Well, not yet you haven't."

"I am, um, interested in um, that."

"Okay."

"But, um, a little bit afraid."

"Okay. There's no rush, happens all the time."

"Um?"

"When I'm with you Honey, only when I'm with you."

"This is a really stupid conversation." I point out.

"Is it working for you?"

"I guess?"

"Then continue, my love, in your own time and in your own inimitable way."

"Sometimes I really wish I could punch you."

"I know. Your loss is my gain."

"Yahoo."

He laughs, his chest rumbling and jostling me in his lap.

"So, you want to see things huh?"

Oh hell.

"And, um, possibly feel, um, things."

"Okay."

"And . . . . um . . . . er . . . . um . . . . have you um . . . . feel things too . . . ."

"Honey." He sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "There aren't words to describe how much I admire your bravery. Or to express how much I love you for it."

I sigh myself, snuggling into his cool yet comfortable embrace.

...

"I suppose you deserve a break." Dad drawls, inspecting the Opera tickets again. "But I didn't know you liked Opera."

"I don't know if I do either." I admit. "But I'd like to find out."

He nods, turning the tickets over in his hands again.

"And this absolutely requires an overnight stay in Seattle?"

I nod because of course it doesn't.

"And you _want_ to stay in Seattle, overnight, with Emmett?"

"Yes."

"And you're absolutely sure you, um, know what you're doing?"

No fucking idea.

"Yes. I love him."

"Jesus Rose, baby. I'm not equipped to deal with this."

"Would you rather we sneaked around?"

"No."

"I'm eighteen."

"Rose." He sighs. "The last corpse I scrapped out from under a logging truck was eighteen."

"Nice Dad. Thanks for that mental image."

"I should talk to your mother about it."

Oh shit no . . . .

"Why?"

"She's your mom, she'll know whether or not it's appropriate."

"I doubt she'll care."

"Rose! That's your Mother you're talking about."

Please don't call her Dad, cos she's only going to tell you what a slut I am and how the proverbial horse has already exited the stable. Please, _don't_ . . . .

He sighs again, re-reading the tickets as if they'll give him inspiration.

"Dad. I love Em and he loves me. You know he does. You've even said so yourself. What's the problem?"

He sighs, _again_.

"You're my daughter Rosalie, I defy any man not to have a problem with the fact you're growing up."

"Could you have that problem in private while I'm in Seattle, at the Opera, with my long term boyfriend?" I ask hopefully.

"I suppose." He decides after a moment. "But if he does _anything_ to hurt you . . . ."

Oh Dad, if only I could tell you how Em is undoing the hurt that's already been done.

"I love you Dad and though I love Em I'm not afraid to threaten him with you."

"Good." Dad huffs, handing me back the tickets. "You make sure he knows I still have the holding cell and have started on an unmarked grave for him."

"I will Dad and I'm sure he'll be suitably impressed."

"Suitably fucking _amused_." Dad grumbles quietly, fishing in the refrigerator for a beer.

...

"I knew he'd cave!" Alice squeals, dragging me into the house before I can even knock. "Let's try on the dress I designed for you and sort out what we're going to do with your hair and makeup. Es! Bella! Hop to it!"

"I'm not going to . . . ." I object quietly.

"Shush, Rose." Alice says, hugging me tight. "I know you're not. But your bravery and willingness to move forward . . . . Oh Honey, it is _so_ going to be worth it. We love you too, let us help you make it special. Please?"

...

"Should I ask?" Em chuckles as we pull out of Dad's driveway on Saturday morning.

"No." I answer. "Dad is going to kill you if I come back less than ecstatic and Alice, Bella and Es are going to help him."

"I expected nothing less." He says, nodding soberly.

"This is really stupid, we're not even going to . . . ."

"What we are going to do." Em interrupts firmly. "Is have some quality alone time that _we_, and only we, will decide what to do with."

"I like the sound of that." I confess.

"Of course you do." Em states, nodding and flashing his cockiest grin. "Master McCarty is wise in these matters."

God I'm gonna miss him when he's gone, who else will I feel such an urge to administer a loving slap to . . . .


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty One A Night at the Opera**

**RPOV**

I never would have imagined being this excited about going to the Opera.

Or this perturbed about everyone and his dog knowing why.

I mean, I know, I'm here, I'm doing it anyway, because I fucking love Em. But seriously, it would be nice to have a little privacy.

But at least I'm not going to be surprised.

I really don't think I could handle that.

...

Surprise One. Bella and Edward's Christmas gift was to get us a suite, a _suite_, in one of the best hotels in Seattle.

I had a moment as we checked in and had to hold onto my inner 'rubbernecker' with two hands.

But.

_Wow_.

...

Surprise Two. The suite was filled with flowers, at least one of any type and color I think I'd ever seen.

Show off.

...

Em gave me a sweet kiss and then went to his room, leaving me to get ready in mine.

Yeah. A hotel room with two bedrooms. And a living room. And a dining room where dinner is going to be served in two hours.

I pinch myself.

Yeah.

Awake.

Or whacked out of my gourd.

...

Hallucinating or not I spend half my getting ready time in what I am officially calling the world's best tub, despite the handwritten note I found in my overnight bag which simply said, 'Don't you dare prune, A'.

I'm still ready, like a horse in a starting gate, when there's a knock at my door.

I fling it open ready to amaze Em with my best toothy grin and then jump back with a strangled scream when I see an older guy in a smart black suit.

"Miss Hale." He says seriously. "My apologies for startling you. I am your Butler, Hodges. Mr Whitlock asked me to inform you that dinner is about to be served."

"Oh, ah, okay?"

A reassuring smile spreads on his face and he gestures for me to exit the bedroom.

Yes, right. Dining room. Okay.

...

"Mr Whitlock, Miss Hale." He intones as I follow him into the dining room. "Please be seated and I will serve dinner."

Em jumps to his feet and comes across the room to seat me before Hodges can, winking at me at Hodges disappears through a hidden door.

"You look incredible." He says as soon as we're alone. "So beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself." I admit.

"I told you. Alice knows how to polish me up. And just in case I forgot there were very detailed instructions in my holdall. Apparently you like my hair au naturel and with less 'product'."

"I do." I confirm. "When you muck about with it you look like an Edward wannabe."

"He does have a whole sex hair thing going on, doesn't he?"

"Its like a living thing with a fan base all its own." I giggle, thinking of the comments my classmates used to make about it.

We stop talking as Hodges brings out the starter, soup.

He delivers it seamlessly and then withdraws.

"Are you going to eat that?" I ask, fascinated.

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." Em chuckles. "But let's check what the flowers thought of it in the morning."

The soup, a flavour I can't identify, is delicious.

Hodges then produces steaks, maybe not high class but a good steak can't be topped in my opinion.

"Please." Em growls after a minute. "Stop with the moaning."

I laugh, remembering Bella's enticement methods with Edward.

"Sorry, this is just _so_ good."

It was so good I tried to eat some of Em's.

Which is when we also gave up on the whole pretence of a sophisticated dinner. I sat in his lap and let him feed me while he told me all about the meals he could remember from his youth and how his Mom would always complain about having to feed so many men with hearty appetites.

I gave up on Em's steak when Hodges appeared with mango cheesecake.

And I tried really hard to spare Em my moaning, but it wasn't easy.

The best part though, was being able to walk away from it all and leave Hodges to clear up while Em took me to the Opera.

...

We walk, very unfashionable I'm sure, but I'm not complaining.

Em knows Seattle really well and seems to have a story about every building and sweep of sidewalk.

God I love him.

...

"Wow." I mutter as we approach McCaw Hall, my steps slowing for a moment at the sights before me.

Limousines, designer dresses, glittering jewellery, photographers. Beautiful people.

"You look incredible." Em informs me, letting go of my hand in favour of sliding an arm around my waist. "And you're wearing a Brandon original. A vampire could aspire to look the way you do tonight. Ready to go make some humans feel inadequate?"

"I guess." I respond, tipping my shoulders back and launching my chin high.

...

Even I heard some of the comments.

Who is she?

Is that a Brandon?

It has to be . . . .

Who is she, give me your cell, I need to look . . . .

I don't recognise him, is he?

I don't know but she's wearing Harry Winston too . . . .

"Harry Winston?" I growl.

"Ah. Yes. But you loved the set, right?"

"You have all together too much money." I mutter.

Which, of course, makes him laugh his handsome head off.

...

I will never admit how much I liked being photographed, even though I knew we'd never appear in anything since we weren't anybody. It was cool, a once in a lifetime experience.

But I was still relieved when were through the zoo and safely ensconced in our own box.

Surprise Three.

There are Opera tickets and there are Opera tickets.

These ones come with our own 'room' and a bottle of chilled champagne.

...

I can't say that I'm an Opera fan now, but I won't be averse to coming again and there was definitely something that felt special about using the glasses to look down on the rest of the audience when I wasn't fixated by what was happening on the stage or in the orchestra pit.

...

"Walk back?" Em asks as we emerge into the crisp night air.

"Yes, please." I reply, gathering the stole Es lent me around my shoulders.

We walk arm in arm for a while but he moves away slightly when I start shivering, his face falling.

"Get back here."

"I can't keep you warm."

"I don't need to be warm."

"You need me, huh?"

"I don't need your ego."

"No one needs my ego, nobody else could _cope_ with my ego."

While we're teasing each other he comes close again, using Es's stole to insulate me from his cold touch.

"Your arm weighs a ton." I grumble, loving the heft of it.

"Quit complaining." He laughs, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "You're never satisfied."

...

I tried I really did, but by the time we made it back to the hotel I'd gone from happy as a clam to nervous as a fuck knows what.

Who said I wanted to know what was going to happen?

Oh, right, that would be me . . . .

...

"Champagne?" Em asks as he settles me on the chaise lounge in our suite.

"Of course."

I have the chilled glass in an instant and I take a mahoosive swig, for courage, you know . . . .

"Movie? Board game? Homework?" He asks, hovering awkwardly.

And that helps, strangely.

This is, as he said, just him and me, doing what we want to do.

"Sit down, you're making me tired."

"Okay."

Thud.

"Jesus, Em, I know Alice taught you how to sit without breaking the legs off the furniture."

"Sorry, nervous."

"Why?"

He's about to tell me as he leans back, but then he realises we're on a chaise not a couch and has to catch himself before he keels over.

And this time it's me that starts laughing, I fucking love him, I really do.

...

Laughter leads to mock fighting, mock fighting leads to cuddling and cuddling leads to kissing.

It's so natural I don't know what either of us were nervous about.

After a while I find myself beneath him on the chaise and even though I'm aware that he's holding most of his weight off me I kind of like it, which I didn't think I would.

So much so that as our kisses grow more heated I don't object when he carries me into my room and lays me down on the bed so we can carry on. In fact I let myself curl around him as the tingles dictate.

I am safe here.

Loved.

"May I?" He asks as his hand hovers beneath me on the zipper of my dress.

I hesitate.

"See." He murmurs into my cheek. "Possibly feel."

I nod closing my eyes against the sound, relaxing when he kisses me again without making any attempt to remove it.

We heat up and the tingles flare when he rolls on his back, kissing me senseless as I sprawl atop him.

And it seems so natural to try and unbutton his shirt.

Even more so when he helps me, ripping it carefully and flinging it away.

"You're so cold." I murmur, running my hands over his chest and abdomen in fascinated wonder.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

He rolls me beneath him again and I don't even notice that he's peeled my dress down until my hot skin quivers against his cold.

"Em . . . ." I gasp.

"Love me Honey, trust me." He urges.

"Em . . . ." I groan in surrender, closing my eyes as his thigh slips between mine and he slowly and deliberately begins undulating our bodies together.

...

I wake in the dark, wound tight in the comforter with an ungodly weight partly draped over me.

Em.

"Hey." He says quietly.

"Hey. What time is it?"

"Ass crack of dawn. You need anything?"

"Water?"

He hands me a bottle, taking it away when I'm done drinking.

"You need anything else?"

I wiggle, indicating my desire to turn over and face him, which he lets me do without releasing me from his embrace.

"I need you to kiss me . . . ."

Okay, no need to finish that sentence.

It isn't long before he's hovering over me again but there are a couple of things I want gone.

He's nothing if not a quick study.

And I'm in nothing but my matching bra and panties within moments, feeling almost all of him pressed against almost all of me.

"Silk?" I giggle.

"Nothing but the best for Alice's boy."

Laughter does interesting things to the way our bodies are pressed together and soon we're kissing again like our lives depend on it. And it just gets better as his hands, lightly and softly, being to ghost over my body.

I didn't think I'd . . . . my skin breaks out into tantalising goose bumps under his palms.

Shoulders, arms, hands, he ghosts over all of them gently and with light squeezes that are a million miles away from what I've felt before.

"I love you." He murmurs. "You're so beautiful. Your skin is like silk, so warm and smooth. I love the way it feels, how it goes from sleek to pebbled under my touch."

He takes a moment to lavish attention on my shoulders then moves his lips to them instead.

I close my eyes and fall back against the pillows as he nibbles at my collar bones and throat, murmuring into them as his hands lay their ghost trails up and down my sides.

And I'm not scared, not even when he rolls us abruptly so that I'm sprawled across him, his mouth attacking mine as the ghost trails being to move all over my back, repeatedly visiting under my hair and then trailing down to almost completely enfold my lower back.

I love the way our skin feels together, the juxtaposition of cool dry and moist heat.

And I love how even though I'm on top I feel secure, loved, safe.

Then his hands move to the fastening on my bra, hovering there as his thumbs gently circle and press into my muscles.

"I can't." I apologise quietly into his cheek.

"I can." He hums into mine. "Trust me."

"Em . . . ."

He unfastens the clasp and I gasp but he flips us again in an instant, trapping the bra firmly in place between our chests.

"Trust me." He almost pleads, capturing my lips with his.

"Trust us." He adds as our legs and bodies tangle together.

I do notice when my bra breaks free from its moorings but I don't care. My nipples are aching and tingling as they brush against his hard chest. This is Em and I, nothing else, nothing else matters. But, oh . . . . that's . . . . oh . . . .

My thighs have fallen either side of his hips and I can feel him in a way I never have before.

Dick waved his at me once, I didn't look, I swear I didn't, I closed my fucking eyes so tight I saw stars and staggered back into Mom's cactus . . . .

"Em?" I query, finally aware that I'm no longer kissing him but am instead swaddled in the comforter once more, his bulk wrapped around me protectively.

"Honey, I can hear your heartbeat change, that's enough, more than enough, sleep now."

"Em, I . . . ."

"Am, very, very, tired . . . ."

"Are you trying to hypnotise me?"

"Yes, is it working?"

"Pfft. No."

"Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little Honey . . . ."

"You can't sing."

"I know."

"But I love you anyway." I manage through a yawn.

"I know." He whispers, tightening his hold on me.

...

"Humph." Dad observes, laying aside the sports section as I let myself in. "You look happy."

"Thanks. I am."

"Humph."

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

"Humph."

"Night Dad."

"Night baby."


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Two That Wasn't as Bad as I Expected**

**RPOV**

Mom and Dick are coming for Graduation, it wasn't an argument I was gonna win with Dad but I gave it my best shot any way.

I guess it won't be so bad, I won't really have to have much to do with him and I'll certainly never be alone with him, Em won't allow it. Poor Em, I think this is going to be harder on him than it is on me. I want to ask Alice what's going to happen but I can't, she's not a toy and it wouldn't be right, besides I'm pretty sure if there was anything likely to happen that was a threat to her family she'd have told _them_ about it.

And this is the last time, by my estimation, if I try real hard, after Graduation, I won't ever have to set eyes on Dick again for the rest of my life.

...

The store is doing okay, takings are up in fact and people are coming in to ask Carlisle's advice on stuff, which is awesome. Especially for Es. He hasn't eaten any of them and hasn't even been tempted. He's so stoked right now Es says he's making Jasper dopey with it. And the pair of them, simple souls, are loving living in the apartment over the store and working together all day.

And I'm so grateful to Mrs R there aren't words. The store's never going to make me rich or glamorous but I find that maybe I've grown up enough not to care.

And Mike Newton Senior's still trying to buy it, which makes me laugh every single time. Dad's so bored of the whole thing he's started refusing to discuss it with him which means he keeps turning up in the store at odd times trying to tempt me. The price is inching up and last time he even brought me college brochures to look through.

Mrs R trusted me with her baby though and for as long as I can I'm going to take care of it.

I've started ordering everything I think I'm going to need for the summer season, Carlisle and Es helped but I'm still grateful for the extra cash Mrs R left me, it means if I screw up this time I should at least be able to keep going long enough to learn from my mistakes. No pressure, the bulk of the store's takings come in the summer, get it wrong and I'll be eating an awful lot of beans over the winter.

It'll be something to talk about with Mom I guess. Dick took the hint and didn't bring up college again but Mom's bound to ask since she always wanted me to go. She doesn't know about the store, even Dad thought it was a good idea to keep that one quiet.

Wuss.

...

"Honey, if I were human you'd be giving me headache right about now."

"Sorry." I mutter, throwing myself into Dad's chair and starting on my nails again.

"Alice said everything looks like it's going to be fine."

"I know. And I'm grateful, I really am, it's just . . . ."

"Whatever happens we'll deal with it. I know it's going to be hard for you but as you said yourself it's the last time."

"I guess . . . ."

"Want me to take your mind off it?"

"Pfft." I snort. "You just wanna get me out of my clothes."

"Always."

"Pervert."

"There is nothing perverted about wanting to see my very beautiful girlfriend in her very fine underwear."

I laugh and then flush up like a tomato. I've come to rather like Em seeing me in my underwear, the effect it has on him is incredibly good for the ego and the feel of his skin on mine is never going to get old.

"Rowr!" He growls, dropping off the couch onto all fours and stalking toward me like a big cat.

I squeal and make a run for my bedroom, which he very generously lets me reach before making a big show of 'catching' me and throwing me gently onto the bed.

"Rowr." He says quietly, trapping me underneath him.

"I love you."

"I know." He whispers, brushing his lips lightly across mine. "I love you too."

...

Our make out sessions have become epic, if still somewhat tame, but I've given up apologising for it, it just makes him mad.

And I still want more, so much more.

"Touch me." I gasp into his mouth when his kisses have driven me almost mad. "Em, please, touch me."

He doesn't ask me if I'm sure, for which I am inordinately grateful, he just takes me at my word, moving the hand caressing my side to rest on my breast instead. And it feels so good I arch my back, pushing myself into it.

"Oh _Honey_." He groans. "You feel so good."

"Touch me Em." I plead again.

And my bra is gone, his cool hand once again covering my breast.

We kiss like that for a few minutes and then he helps me, as he always does, rearing up to look deeply into my eyes.

"Can I look at you Honey? Can I kiss you?"

I nod, mute, and then close my eyes as his trail of kisses start at my jaw and work slowly and surely down my tingling body.

"Oh _Em_ . . . ." I wheeze as his lip covered teeth close over my aching nipple.

...

He wakes me up as Dad's cruiser pulls into the driveway.

"Hey. I'll be outside until he goes to sleep."

"Okay." I mumble sleepily, seeking out his lips and brushing mine across them. "Don't be too long."

"Tell that to the Chief." He chuckles, extracting himself easily from my embrace.

Sighing I wrap myself up tighter in my blankets, its fucking cold with the window open . . . .

...

When I open my eyes again it's to find him stretched out next to me reading a book.

"Isn't that a chick fic?" I groan, rolling over and snuggling up to him, because stone can be surprisingly comfy when you get used to it.

"It is." He confirms. "No better way to get in a chick's mind to be honest."

"That's very cynical." I observe.

"Ah now." He laughs. "It worked on you."

"I'm gonna get Bells to punch you for that."

"Later." He says easily. "The Chief's already up and about and he seems to be cooking breakfast. I need to go hunt but I'll be back at the allotted time to ride to the airport with you."

"Do I get a kiss first?" I ask.

"With your morning breath?" He asks, pretending to be surprised. "You've gotta be kidding me."

"Love the human, love the stink."

"I'm so easy." He grumbles, rolling me over and pressing me into the mattress.

...

"Morning." Dad says, waving a spatula at me. "We both need a big breakfast to face today, park your ass, it's nearly ready."

"It smells great." I tell him, falling, zombie like into a chair.

"You bet it does. Patented Hale special occasion breakfast of champions."

"Thanks."

"De nada. You can get your own coffee though, I ain't your slave."

Grumbling I get up and grab a mug full as he starts ladling out food.

...

"Seriously?" I demand as he comes downstairs later. "You're going to the airport in your uniform?"

"Hell yes." He says, fastening his gun belt and plonking his hat on his head. "Dick might be rich but I'm all man."

"Fine." I sigh. "You don't need to dress up to outdo the little weasel though."

"I know." He chuckles. "My ass ain't saggy but a guy's entitled to press home his advantages."

"How old are you?" I groan.

"Old enough to know better, young enough not to care." He shrugs as he opens the door for Em.

"Jesus. What the hell are you wearing?"

"Sweats and t-shirt." He informs me with his best smirk.

"Did Alice shrink that one in the wash?" Dad asks.

"No Chief." Em snorts, busting a move and kissing his guns. "I just know how to fill out a t-shirt."

"Alright." Dad drawls. "Let's get this over with. You sure your Mom's happy to have us all for dinner son?"

"She's really looking forward to it." Em assures him, tipping a wink at me. "She's been cooking up a storm."

I groan and Dad cocks an eyebrow at me.

No. You can sample Alice's cooking blind, same way I did, I already stocked up on pizza for later, you'll live . . . .

...

"I hate these crowds." Dad moans for the hundredth time as we wait at the airport. "Why couldn't they just meet us in Forks?"

"I don't know Dad. Mom just wanted us to meet them here."

He starts muttering under his breath again and I snuggle tighter into Em's huge frame.

Two days and this will all be over. Two days and this will all be over. Two days and this will all be over.

"Here we go." Em whispers, probably catching their scents in the crush.

We get to our feet and I quickly pick out just one person moving toward us, Mom.

"Surprise!" Mom screeches, waving madly until she's close enough to envelop me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry." She gushes excitedly. "Something came up last minute at work and Rich couldn't get away, he's going to try and come down tomorrow though, you know how he hates me travelling alone. Sweetie you look wonderful, the wet Forks air is obviously doing wonders for you. It will be so nice for us to spend some time alone together. I can't remember the last time we did. Yes, that's all of Emmett, goodness he gets better looking every time I see him. Phil, your uniform? Really? Such a shame about Rich, he was so looking forward to seeing you graduate and finding out what those secret college plans of yours are . . . ."

Mom's cancelled the hire car so she rides back to Forks with us, keeping up a constant stream of chatter, which is good because I can't think of a word to say.

All that worry for nothing, all I can do is grin stupidly at Em, who keeps grinning back.

...

Dad takes us straight to the Whitlock's, as per the plan.

Mom's suitably impressed and has a rubberneck moment in the driveway as she takes in the facade of the house and the ludicrously expensive cars in the driveway, even Edward's Aston Martin is out getting some air, parked rakishly between Jasper's top of the line black Range Rover and Alice's little yellow Porsche.

"Goodness." She says eventually. "Rich would have loved this."

Dad winks at me and then turns away to hide his laughter.

God I love him, and the Whitlocks.

Who appear immediately in all their supermodel glory.

Em holds me tightly as Alice and Jasper sweep down the steps and launch a charm offensive on Mom.

In no time at all we're seated in the main room, those that can sipping genteelly on their aperitifs while the proud Moms go at it. Bella and I have to sit there and suck it up but Jasper takes Dad and Em off to his man cave from where we can occasionally hear gales of manly laughter.

We gather for dinner in the Whitlock's, as far as I know, unused dining room where Bella happily informs me that Chef Maurice has catered and there's nothing to worry about.

If only that were true, Mom and Alice have hit it off like a house on fire and Mom hasn't even noticed that she's the only one drinking the wine.

By dessert a new worry is growing on me.

"I'm so pleased they're still together." Mom whispers loudly to Alice. "Rose used to go through boys like shoes."

"Ah." Alice replies, favouring Em and I with a motherly smile. "I suppose when you know, you know."

"It is sweet isn't it?" Mom agrees. "But they're so young, just like Phil and I were, I was such a fool for that man I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. Its probably a good thing they're heading off to college . . . ."

A look I can't decipher appears on her face and she focuses in on me.

"You're not going to the same one are you?" She demands. "Please tell me you're not and that's not what all the secrecy is about, not after Rich has been so generous with your college fund."

"No! Mom. We're not going to college together."

"Well, that's good." Mom decides. "Where are you going?"

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

"I don't see the need for secrecy but alright. Where are you going Emmett?"

"I'm taking a year out Mrs King, I'm not sure what I want to do yet."

"You're staying here? In Forks?" Mom laughs.

"I'd like to travel a bit, but yes, there's plenty to keep me here."

Mom's eyes travel to me again but Jasper distracts her by bringing out a coffee service that must be worth a small country's national debt.

"I thought you were going to rich boy college with the others?" I whisper to Em as Alice starts on the long story of how Jasper came to buy the set for her.

"I can if I want to." He whispers back. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Okay."

My mind is racing. He said there was plenty to keep him here, does he mean me? And if he does, what does that mean . . . .


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Three Graduation Day**

**RPOV**

A highly amused Dad delivered a highly intoxicated Mom at the motel an hour or so later.

She'd strayed into some awkward conversational territory but at least stayed out of dangerous waters, there was one moment when I thought she was going to warn Alice to keep me away from Jasper but maybe Alice saw it coming because she 'accidentally' tipped her cognac in Mom's lap.

...

"I'm all socialised out." Dad grumbles as soon as we get back to the house. "See you bright and early in the morning."

"Night Dad."

"Night Rose."

I potter around in the kitchen for a while and then take myself up to bed, easing the window open and wrapping myself up in my bedclothes.

...

I wake up some time later with a welcome ten ton weight wrapped around me.

"You're heavy." I complain, wriggling to get free.

"My Mom says I'm a breath of fresh air in a house full of vampires with emotional problems."

"Your 'Mom' thinks the sun shines out of your ass." I observe, rolling over to face him.

"Mom is never wrong." He says with that cocky grin.

I shake my head at him but let him kiss me since it would be stupid not to.

"So." I begin as my eyes adjust to the dark. "Taking a year out, huh?"

"Ah Honey, you don't beat about the bush do you?"

He helps me sit up and snuggle into his chest, I truly don't care that his body is cold and hard, I'm used to it and I find it incredibly comforting, though it doesn't hurt that he'll usually bundle me into a blanket first.

"Alright." He says. "I'll start. I know you're staying here for the store and I absolutely don't blame you. And I know that we've never talked about the future but I have been thinking about it. I don't need to go to college straight away, in fact, I don't need to go at all. We talked about where you might go before poor Mrs R died but you weren't sure what you wanted to do so I didn't make any plans."

"Why not?"

"Because I couldn't make myself plan anything that was going to take me away from you."

"But you can't stay here, people will start to notice, you were all going to leave after this summer."

"I could stay here for a couple of years."

"A couple of years." I muse. "What would you do?"

"I could get a job, not that I need to, everyone in town is convinced we're billionaires already. Or I could just hang about and help you with the store."

"Would you stay at the house?"

"I don't see why not."

"Do you want to stay?"

"If you're here? Yes."

I wriggle round so I can look at him.

"I love you Rose, I want to stay with you for as long as I can."

"I don't want you to go." I admit quietly. "But you can't stay here forever."

"No, I can't."

His words pour a little cold water on the warm happiness that's inside me right now. He loves me enough to stay and I couldn't, wouldn't, have asked for anything more.

He leans in to kiss me softly and sweetly.

"The future comes to all of us Honey, we can work it out as we go along just like everyone else does, if you want to."

"I do want to." I promise, kissing him back.

...

"Well." Dad observes when I appear for breakfast. "You look happier than you did yesterday."

"I guess." I shrug nonchalantly grabbing a mug and some coffee.

"I assume from your improved mood and the Whitlock boy's comments at dinner that he's staying here?"

"He is."

"Humph."

"What?"

"Don't rush into anything, your Mom is right about some things."

I shake my head and smile, if only he knew, poor Em's got the patience of a saint.

"You could have picked a worse boy I suppose, but you're telling your Mom."

"Okay."

"Okay."

...

Bella arrives a few minutes later and we head over to Ang's where we've decided to get ready together.

Ang _is_ going to college and I'm going to miss her, and Ben, which makes me wonder, if Em's staying, what about Bella and the others? I didn't ask him, I was so happy that I wasn't going to lose him, yet, that I didn't even think about the others. All of whom I've come to love having in my life, even Edward and the once elusive Carlisle. I assume they're all going to college, that's going to suck . . . .

"Earth to Rose!" Bella howls in my ear. "I said neutral or purple lipstick?"

"Won't purple clash with the gown?"

"Really badly." She chuckles. "That's why Ang and I are going for it."

"Okay, I'm in."

...

Sadly the purple lipstick doesn't make it past Mrs Weber, Ang and Ben being on the same campus she has managed to deal with, leery looking teenagers, not so much.

...

Dad's picked Mom up from the motel and judging by the squealing fit she's not feeling too worse for wear.

The Whitlocks arrive next and we make our way into the auditorium, smiling and laughing together, this day seriously isn't turning out so badly after all.

...

We wave everyone off after the ceremony and Dad makes a great show of escorting Mom to The Lodge.

Surprisingly she seems enchanted by the idea of eating in one of their old haunts and things are going so well I pluck up the courage to tell her about Mrs R and the store.

She's quiet for a moment digesting it and Dad pats my knee.

"Well." She says eventually. "It's not something I ever saw you doing, I dreamed you get the chance to go to college I never had, but I can't deny it's generous of the woman. Will it support you?"

We talk financials for a while, which thanks to Dick she understands better than Dad and she concedes that it sounds like I'll be able to make a living out of it. Then she goes quiet, absorbing it all while she eats and Dad shoots me an encouraging smile.

"So, I understand now why you're not taking advantage of Rich's generous offer of a college fund." She says when she's finished eating.

"Its not that we aren't grateful to him." Dad assures her when it's obvious I'm not going to say anything on the subject.

"Humph." Mom snorts. "Well, we set the money aside for you Rose it's yours."

"Mom, I don't . . . ."

"Lets compromise shall we?" Mom offers before I can get started. "Rich and I will hold the money for three years. If you change your mind and want to go to college you can use it whenever you need to, if not, after three years it's yours anyway, to invest in the business."

"Mom, that's, so generous of you . . . ."

"Rich and I love you Rose, I know we've had our problems but that won't ever change."

Okay, there are several things wrong with that statement but today is not living up to my nightmares so I get up and give her a damn great hug anyway.

Dad looks ecstatic.

"Now then." Mom continues when we're seated again. "I assume you staying in Forks has something to do with the handsome and extremely eligible Emmett Whitlock also choosing to stay in Forks?"

"M-om . . . ."

"Don't knock it Rose, I waited almost my whole life for a man like that to come along."

"Gee thanks." Dad drawls.

"Oh Phil." Mom laughs. "Rampant sex was all we had going for us and you know it."

Dad and I choke together and pat each other's backs.

"Just be careful Rose." Mom continues. "Families like that, they protect their own and their prospects, don't get pregnant unless he marries you first."

"Jesus, _Mom_."

"Well it hasn't yet I suppose, you at least always had some sense about that obviously."

Oh, ah, awkward . . . .

"Irina." Dad huffs. "Are we ordering ice cream or not?"

...

The whole day was like one of those unexpected miracles.

No Dick.

Mom didn't do or say anything that would put me trouble with Dad.

And I graduated from High School and became a grown up.

It wasn't all hearts and flowers.

Dad left me at the motel with Mom and while it was mostly okay there was an awkward moment when she told me she loved me and was trying hard to forgive and forget me putting the moves on poor Dick.

Should I have said something?

Maybe.

But I chose to maintain the status quo.

Thanks to Mrs R I'd have very little need to have anything do with him again and that was pretty much fine by me.

I had graduated and was saying goodbye to that part of my life.

I wasn't that girl anymore and thanks to Em, my Dad and my friends, I never would be again.

...

Dad had to work so Em drove Mom and me to the airport.

We said an emotional farewell and promised to keep in touch.

More like friends graduating High School than mother and daughter parting after a visit, but that was okay.

...

"You're very quiet." Em observes on the way home.

"Sorry, end of an era moment I guess."

"She only knows what she knows." He says quietly.

"I know." I sigh. "And whether I'm mad about that or not it's better this way. Telling her the truth wouldn't change anything for me and it would only hurt her."

"I'm not sure I could be so forgiving."

"I don't think I am being forgiving. I'm just being practical."

"I love you."

"That means a lot to me."

"That's all I can ask for." He murmurs, lifting my hand up to kiss it.

...

In silence he takes me home and up to my room.

"I love you." I tell him as I shed my clothes.

"Honey . . . ."

All but my thong, trying to remember what Bella said about doing it sexily.

"Oh, jesus, _Honey_ . . . . you're so fucking beautiful."

"Kiss me Em, please."

He does, twining his hands in my hair the way he knows I like it.

My body comes alive, protesting his separation from it and I curl myself around him the way I've always wanted to.

"_Honey_." He groans into my neck.

"Quality alone time that we, and only we, will decide what to do with." I remind him, throwing my head back so he has unrestricted access to my throat.

"May I join you?" He whispers into it.

I nod and within seconds we're stretched out on the bed with every unclothed inch of him touching every unclothed inch of me.

"I want to touch you Em."

I love that he doesn't question me, instead he kisses me hard before laying down, one hand gently stroking the small of my back, leaving it open to me to do what I will.

"I love you." I murmur, pressing my lips briefly to his.

And he sighs in response as I push myself up and start running my palms over the stone sculpture that is my boyfriend's amazing body, it's like a form of worship, the few times I've done it. And I love that he isn't all the stone he's cracked up to be, when he muscles move under my touch and I can feel them, or see them, it's like the world's most absorbing movie . . . .

My hands make their way lower, skimming across the waistband of his boxers and he shudders under my touch.

Normally I'd stop now, mindful of the rising material. But not today.

Today I bite my lip and slide my hand under it.

His is on my wrist, stopping me immediately.

"I want to touch you." I insist.

Again he doesn't question me, just raises his hips so I can slip his underwear down, that part of him springs free immediately.

"Oh." I gasp. "It's pointing at me."

"Yeah, it does that a lot." Em manages to squeak out without actually laughing.

I frown at him and he sobers manfully.

Then I turn my attention back to that part of him.

His cock.

It's thick and long and not as scary as I'd imagined, it's kinda beautiful in fact, like the rest of him.

"Is this okay?" I ask, reaching out and touching it tentatively.

"Yes." He assures me.

I stroke the shaft of it with my finger and it jerks, making me jump.

"Sorry." He says. "Involuntary reaction to be touched by the woman I love."

I touch it again though, marvelling at the silky smooth skin under the pad of my finger. It's as hard as the rest of him and I can't help but wonder . . . .

"Can you feel me touch you?"

"Yes."

"But you're stone."

"It's the warmth, I can't describe it . . . . gah . . . ."

"Is this alright?" I ask, releasing the hand which had curled around his shaft.

"More than alright."

I curl my hand again and begin to slowly move it up and down.

"You're killing me." He groans, shifting on the bed and curling his hands around the mattress.

When I reach the top he shudders and I feel, just for a moment, his marble skin move.

So I do it again, and again, watching him shamelessly.

His eyes are closed now, his face serious, brow slightly furrowed. But the muscles of his abdomen and legs are jumping and twitching with each sweep of my closed hand and even I can see his knuckles are whiter where he's gripping the bed.

When I look back up his perfect body his eyes are open, black not gold, and fixed on my face.

"I love you." He says, eyes boring into mine. "And that's . . . . please don't stop . . . ."

"Am I doing it right?"

"Oh Honey . . . ." He groans, closing his eyes again, body arching off the bed.

It seems obvious that I should move faster and from his reactions it's a good choice.

I like that his eyes are closed, it means I can watch him, savour the effect I'm having on him. Is it wrong that it makes me love him more? Or that it's making me warm and tingly?

When he cums it's magnificent. The way his mouth falls open into a long, drawn out, groan, the way his muscles flutter frantically and then clench down tight before rolling out to send shudders through his whole body. Even the pearly white fluid that spurts onto his contracting muscles is beautiful.

And when his hands release my mangled mattress and curl into my hair, bringing my mouth down to meet his urgently, all is pretty much right with the world.


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Four Pasts**

**RPOV**

It seems like there's barely time to breathe, running a business is not exactly for the faint hearted and it certainly isn't for the lazy, I'm so tired I can hardly see straight and so happy Dad says I'm like a dog with two tails.

Bella and I are in the storeroom going through the boxes Es and Carlisle moved out of Mrs R's apartment. I didn't want to clear it because it felt wrong to be going through her stuff but Bella eventually convinced me that someone had to go through it and what better way was there to get to know the strange old woman who left me her life.

The photo albums were fascinating, eighty odd years of history, pictures of people I'd never know doing things I couldn't fathom and then it was sad how the people in them gradually whittled down to two, Mr and Mrs R, and then stopped. They looked so happy together, even as they aged, that it seems inhuman that they had to be parted. The love poems he wrote her had me in floods, there were hundreds of them, some short, some long, some downright lewd.

And then there was a lifetime's correspondence with the federal government which had me howling tears of laughter, each one a elegantly written window into Mrs R's less than compliant nature, I guess she let me deal with them because the fun went out of it when Mr R died.

And then there were things that no one but Mrs R could have explained. A polished pebble, a dried purple flower, a lemonade bottle top, a ticket to a county fair in the 50s, a lock of hair, an unopened jar of pickles that was clearly older than me, a champagne cork, a shred of tyre, a beat up old pocket knife and a clown's nose.

We finish packing everything up either for goodwill or for me to keep and I seize my opportunity.

"Bells, what's happening now that Em's staying here for a while?"

She tapes up the box she's working on with a sigh.

"I'm not sure yet. It's difficult and we usually always move together."

"I'm sorry." I mumble automatically.

"Don't be." She says, sitting down next to me and giving my shoulders a squeeze. "We're not. Em's happy, he loves you, we completely understand why he doesn't want to leave you and none of us would even dream of trying to persuade him otherwise. But it isn't easy to work out, we can't all stay here, not when the 'older' ones are supposed to be going off to college, there's a risk people would pay more attention and notice that we're not aging. And Jasper, well he'll always look young for a Doctor, there's only so long he can practise in one place."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet, none of us actually need to go to college but we thought maybe some of us could go in Seattle and Jasper could practise there, that would give us three or four more years in the area, close enough to spend time with you and Em."

"That's . . . . brilliant . . . . I'm sorry, I know that's selfish of me but I, um, like you guys."

"Ew." Bella groans. "Mush Hale, mush."

"Shut up." I snarl, poking her, carefully, in the side.

"You know we'll have to leave eventually." She says after a moment.

"I know."

"There's a school of thought that you should come with us."

"I can't, Dad, the store."

Wordlessly she hands me the last photo album, the one with the empty pages at the back.

Nice.

...

Summer marches on and the Whitlocks, god love them, won't let me be all work and no play, the tourists have no idea if they are being served by a Knight Templar, a puritan or a couple who fought in WW1, although if they get served by Edward I'd like to think they at least have enough self preservation not to complain. But like Es I'm stoked when the locals come in asking for Carlisle, his opinion on everything from spackle to which bait to use, is as highly prized as Mrs R's was.

Forks is abuzz with gossip about why Em isn't going to college, the current favourite being that he's knocked me up and we're planning a hasty wedding. There's so much wrong with _that_ I haven't even managed to get offended by it, Dad on the other hand, is putting out that fire everywhere it pops up and developing a terrible squint. There aren't words for how I feel about the fact he didn't even ask me if it was true or not.

I am however a little bit afraid of meeting Em's 'girlfriend' from last summer, Tanya Denali. The boy's nothing if not honest but as the Denali clans' visit approaches I'm more and more concerned about the fact that they do have a history, albeit an extremely _ancient_ one. And not just because she's a supermodel vampire, let's just say he and Tanya rounded a few more bases than I've yet to reach, a few more times than could be considered 'casual'.

The Denalis are Eleazar's coven, although the dreaded Tanya is the leader, and as such are pretty much extended family. There are three sisters, Tanya, Kate and Renee, as well as Eleazar and his mate Carmen. The sisters have a bit of a reputation and so I've been reading up on succubae though none of what I've learned has made me feel any better. Bells and Es say they don't mean any harm but occasionally need to be reminded that possession is nine tenths of the law when it come to attractive men and sharing is not permitted. Apparently Renee has always been 'keen' on Edward and was eventually persuaded to leave him in peace when Bella ripped her arm off and threatened to torch it. Which is great, but what dissuasion tactics are open to the human should they be required? Alice says that Em's never going to have eyes for anyone but me, which is nice, but I'm only human, I wouldn't be normal if I didn't worry about it, would I?

Anyway, as part of my fretting I've attempted to move things along with Em but the boy knows me too well, nevertheless his constant rebuttal of my inexperienced and half hearted advances is starting to chafe. Intellectually and emotionally I know he wants me, he reminds me all the time, but the insecure child in me is afraid that he doesn't mean it or he'll change his mind when Tanya arrives.

So, yeah, hot mess of contradictions right now.

...

"Thank you." The out of towner says as he leaves the store with his bait, recommended by Carlisle.

"Quick! Turn the sign around." I urge him.

Which of course he's done before I've finished speaking or blinked.

"Thank you, Carlisle, for doing this." I sigh as he locks the door and saunters back to the counter.

"There's no need Rose." He chuckles. "We've told you a hundred times how much we've enjoyed it."

"Yeah well, it's above and beyond."

"Will it make you feel better to know that next time we settle in a rural community Es and I are going to open our own store?"

"Really?"

"Oh yes, we can't wait. We'd have done it in Seattle but the market research wasn't good."

I shake my head, so Whitlock, market research, though I guess they've all had a lot of time to absorb new skills.

"What are you going to study?"

"I was going to do pre med again but I've decided to switch to business."

"Cool."

"I hope so, Es is going to brush up on her horticulture so we can specialise."

"It's good to have a plan." I sigh.

"Rose." He says, flashing me his most reassuring smile. "Its perfectly okay not to have a plan and see where life takes you, under the circumstances none of _us_ would take that away from you."

God, he really is one of the nicest people I've ever met. It's on the tip of my tongue to bring up the 'unfinished' photo album and get his take on it but Em the boisterous puts a stop to that when he blasts through the door from the stockroom.

"Come on Honey." He booms, grabbing me and swinging me round so Carlisle has to take evasive action. "You wanted to beautify, hop to it, the Denalis are already here and they're waiting to meet you."

When I'm done spinning I roll my eyes at Carlisle who flashes me his underwear model smile.

"Go on. I'll close up, I'm running out of chances to do it."

"Thank you!" I yell as Em throws me over his shoulder and speeds me out to his truck.

...

He waits so he can drive me back to his house, where Alice has persuaded Dad to let me spend the night.

"Do I look alright?" I ask him as he walks me to his truck.

"No. You look incredible."

"Flattery will get you nowhere."

"I have nowhere to go except where I am." He says, planting a smacking kiss on my cheek as he helps me into the truck.

"_Ew_." I moan, clutching my stomach. "Nausea."

"No excuses Hale, time to meet the family."

...

Of course, they're all waiting for me on the drive, like a scene from an English country house drama.

The Whitlocks, flanked by three ludicrously attractive Amazonian blondes and a dark haired stunningly beautiful couple who can only be Carmen and Eleazar.

Chin up Rose, shoulders back, smile.

"Oh Emmett." A feminine voice coos. "Well _done_."

There's some giggling and hissing as Em hands me out of his truck and the chin goes up further, until it reaches the bitch setting. I can't help it, I'm me.

I rake my eyes over the newcomers and then their clothes, it's really no contest but they don't need to know that.

Em, who knows me altogether too well, stifles his laughter and leads me forward to make introductions.

"Tanya . . . ." Tall, poised, with a body even I wouldn't kick out of bed.

"Kate . . . ." Just as beautiful but not currently looking at me like I smell.

"Renee . . . ." Giggling.

"And Carmen and Eleazar . . . ." Perfectly polite.

"Nice to meet you." I say, ignoring the blondes, one of whom bursts out laughing but stops before I can catch them.

"Bella." One of them says, sounding pouty. "You spoilt our fun."

"Rose is Em's mate." Bella growls. "Not a fucking toy. Behave."

Tanya comes forward first, folding me in an awkward embrace, mainly because my darling Em won't release his hold on me.

"Sorry Rose." She breathes in my ear. "We mean no harm, it's an absolute pleasure to meet the woman who has captured Emmett's heart."

"Likewise." Kate assures me, taking her turn with the half hug.

"Hello." Renee snickers, patting me like I'm a little dog.

Carmen and Eleazar are more traditional, no hugs but giving off a more genuine feeling that they're pleased to meet me.

After which Alice calls us inside, tipping me an approving wink on the way . . . .

...

We talk, or rather they all talk, for hours. But none of the blonde harridans gets a chance to lay their mitts on Em, he's taken a seat in one of the chairs with me securely in his lap.

They're fascinating, all of them, as much so as the Whitlocks, but I can't deny that they intimidate me with their confidence, perfection and familiarity and I'm not sorry when Em realises I'm tired and carts me off to his room.

"You have a bed!" I blurt out, forgetting that everyone in the house will hear me until there are multiple sniggers.

"No." Em assures me, plonking me on it. "_We_ have a bed. Excuse me one moment."

He re-opens his bedroom door, poking his head out into the hallway.

"Fuck off!" He exhorts whoever was laughing. "Go find some rodents to drain."

"Boo!" Someone calls back.

"Bells!" He yells.

"Out bitches." She growls. "I've found some carnivores in the north of our territory, come see if any of you are woman enough to catch 'em before I do . . . ."

There's some laughing and squealing and then even I can tell that the house is probably empty. Either way Em closes the door and flings himself onto the bed next to me.

"Want me to undress you?" He asks with his cockiest grin.

"I'm not that tired."

"There's a mixed message in there somewhere." He observes.

"Probably." I laugh, pushing myself off the new bed and taking my overnight bag into the bathroom.

When I emerge in my pjs a few minutes later he's turned down the gold comforter ready for me.

"Climb in and wrap yourself up." He orders, patting the bed beside him. "Your boyfriend wants to snuggle."

...

I sleep like a log, with no reason to be separated from Em, and wake up starving hungry. Which is just as well because breakfast is an all girl affair and they all seem to have prepared something for me to eat.

The boys have their own activities planned for today so we're going for some quality shopping time in Seattle.

Alice, who I have an understanding with, has made me a bowl of cereal. Bella, toast. Es has a talent for eggs. Renee has gone down the pop tart route and Kate has provided a cereal bar. Tanya's offering is a bag of M&Ms.

I regard them all warily over my repast, mindful of all the giggling and whispering last night.

"You mustn't mind us Rose." Kate tells me, gesturing with her hand for me to tuck in. "Eleazar is always complaining that there's too much estrogen in our house, we just like to have a little fun, you can tell us when you've had enough."

I raise my eyebrow at her and the six of them laugh.

"Really." Renee assures me. "Even I know when enough is enough."

Now it's Bella's turn to raise her eyebrow and they all laugh again.

"Oh get over it." Renee says, unrepentant. "It was years ago and you said yourself your show of possessiveness had caused a significant uplift in your sex life."

Sex. Everything in this family is about sex, even Jasper, the patriarch, is like a horny adolescent whenever Alice is around. Not that she's complaining, the woman takes 'satisfied' to a whole new level.

They carry on teasing each other while I finish my breakfast. I guess they're not so bad, no one's getting off any lighter with the teasing than I did. I reserve the right to be wary of Tanya though, she's had those long slim fingers on my man, which makes me feel a bit like ripping an appendage off myself. By the sparkle in her eye when she looks at me I imagine she's guessed what's on my mind and has already decided, in the interests of fun, not to take pity on my concerns. Which is okay by me Ms Denali, _that's_ something I can deal with.


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Five It Was a Dark and Stormy Night**

**BPOV**

The Denalis have a minivan which we all pile into for the trip to Seattle, it's not quite the glamour I'm used to as a vampire married to Edward but its certainly practical for a large family and the squishy human gets to ride shot gun, so it's all good.

It isn't long before the conversation turns back to sex, it's not that vampires have a narrow focus, we just like sex and have more time to enjoy it than humans do.

Even Es has gone giggly and a little indiscreet.

"So." Tanya asks Rose eventually. "How's Em in the sack?"

"I don't have any sacks he'd fit in." My friend growls back.

We all laugh.

"He fits in your bed though, right?"

"Just about."

Kate, who is driving, snickers and pats her knee, Em's a big boy, we all know this.

"Are you being coy Rose?" Tanya chides her.

"Is it working?" Rose queries with her best bitch smile.

"For now." Tanya concedes. "We'll get it out of you, there are no secrets in this family."

"So Em told me." Rose replies twisting in her seat to fix Tanya with her blue eyed stare.

Zing.

Now I _know_ Em's told her at least something about his 'trysts' with Tanya. Good boy.

"Oh look." Alice trills before Tanya can speak up again. "There's a camper van, I really miss mine."

This leads onto a long and extremely funny conversation about vampire sex in confined and 'delicate' spaces which lasts the rest of the way to Seattle and leaves Rose wondering what the guy who restored the camper van thought had happened to it.

...

"I thought you knew how to shop." Rose grumbles. "But you're disinterested compared to this lot and Alice is the absolute _worst_, seriously, the woman's a complete maniac . . . . My feet are _killing_ me."

"If it's any consolation mine would be too." I commiserate. "I mean, it's all cream right? How can there be so many different shades of it? And how can they all have _names_? Who gets paid to think that shit up?"

There's a loud growl from her stomach.

"Oops." I snicker. "I guess we forgot to feed the human."

"I'm faint from hunger."

"Alice!" I call, bringing the cavalcade to an abrupt halt. "Rose and I are going to get some lunch, we'll text you when we're done."

We're sent on our way with cheery waves, I think we were only slowing them down.

"What do you fancy?" I ask.

"Pizza."

"Lead on Macduff, this is your hunting territory, not mine."

...

"Oh thank god." She groans, collapsing into a seat. "My feet are now officially numb and I'm so weak you may have to feed me."

I snort, as if, and we lapse into silence as the waitress brings her a coke which she drains in one go.

"Thirsty?" I observe. "That's a feeling I can sympathise with."

"Is it hard to be in the city?"

"At my age? No, not really, but it's still an adjustment, the, um, human scents, compared to Forks, they're much more concentrated and if I don't keep swallowing the venom people will think I've got rabies."

"Ew."

"We all have our crosses to bear, the positives outweigh the negatives for me but some of us can never truly adjust, I'll be honest I've met some vampires in my time who give new depth to the non-scientific term 'bat shit crazy'."

"Speaking of bat shit crazy." She drawls, thinking of Alice's shopping induced personality quirks. "How did you guys end up with the Whitlocks?"

"Ah, now there's a story . . . ."

...

_Once Edward and I discovered the joy of loving marital sex the outside world lost some of its appeal for a while, but even we calmed down eventually, and I do mean eventually, quite a lot had changed while we'd been 'away'._

_That was when it was brought home to me that the man Edward would have been was present and correct in the vampire._

_World War was brewing in Europe and he wanted to go and fight for what was right. I had no intention of stopping him from being what he was and our argument over whether or not I would accompany him was extremely brief. So we set off, together._

_Human wars are not any better than vampire wars and with hindsight I should have fought him harder on whether or not we should go at all, the way my gift urged me to. Being able to read minds, on the battlefields of Europe, my poor husband was in hell._

_It didn't undo all the healing from our time with Maria, but he took it hard, nevertheless._

_We returned to America and picked up our semi nomadic lifestyle where we left off, just minus the glowing Edward smile I had become so attached to before we left. I tried to talk to him about it but it was hard, I didn't have an easy life in the Southern Vampire Wars but Edward's experience was far worse._

...

"Don't misunderstand me, we weren't unhappy, we couldn't be if we were together. But I love him and I knew there was a shadow on his soul still. It killed me that I wasn't enough to eradicate it."

She sighs.

"It kills Em that he isn't enough to eradicate Dick."

"Rose, Honey, eradicating Dick is the easy part, I could do it by breathing on him too heavy. What kills Em, all of us, is that only you can eradicate Dick from your head, with all our supernatural gifts we can't do that for you."

"He's nearly gone." She says, examining the ice in the bottom of her coke intently.

"Rose." I murmur gently, waiting for her to look up at me. "I can see that Honey, we all can, take your time, do a thorough job, not a bodge."

She nods and favours me with that loving smile she'd kill me for recognising if she knew about it. Bless her.

...

_We ran into vampires from time to time but not that often, away from the wars we were as rare then as we are now. Edward continued to be less than friendly and I continued to let him having grown into my shield. My neck would prickle if they posed any danger to us and with Edward's gift there was never much room for doubt._

_Vampires, despite their food source, aren't inherently evil creatures, no more so than humans anyway. We made a few friends, but not many, for the most part it was better for all concerned to part ways rapidly. Especially if they recognised the Angel of Death. Our scars were usually a deterrent to building accord, they screamed warrior and danger and sensible vampires wanted less to do with us than we did with them but vampires don't change easily and stupid humans make stupid vampires. We were always running into someone who thought taking on the Angel of Death was a good move._

...

"Which is why I'm better than any backwoodsman at starting a fire with sticks."

She blinks at me and I let my predatory smile peek out.

...

_Then, one day, as we were travelling the eastern seaboard looking for somewhere to settle for a while we came across the scents of a large coven. Edward was all for getting back in our ludicrously expensive car and moving on but I'd got no prickle at all so I was curious. Three males and two females, the ratio was usually the other way round, vampires don't change and most of them had come over as sexist pigs of the worst kind . . . ._

...

"How many banks had you robbed by that point?"

"A few." I confess. "But in fairness with Edward's human start in life we had been investing our ill gotten gains profitably and were already filthy rich. You should see him in a Boardroom and a sharp suit, he's a god."

"You're biased." She snorts.

"Of course I am. I'm his wife."

...

_Edward wasn't keen, but I was, so we stayed._

_Since our voyage to Europe I'd developed a bit of an interest in boats so I was happy lurking around the harbour waiting to see the local vampires. It was obvious from the scent trails that they'd been settled here for a year or so and that interested me too, we'd never met, not even in Europe, any other vampires who settled in one place for a while the way we did. I'd always assumed it was because we hadn't met any other vampires that didn't eat humans, we'd been called freaks a time or two by that point, especially in the Old World._

_We'd danced around each other for a few days, this coven and us, only ever coming into any kind of, remote, contact when surrounded by humans so we couldn't act out. All we'd gathered was that there were two mated pairs, like us, and another male. And that they had gold eyes, like ours. Vegetarians. Even Edward was curious enough to stay by that point. We asked questions in the town and soon found out that the vampires were Doctor Whitlock, his wife, her brother, and Doctor Whitlock's brother and his wife._

...

"A Doctor? I can't explain to you what a shock _that_ was. We asked a lot of questions and he wasn't even a Doctor whose patients died unexpectedly, the locals loved him, the guy was like a saint to them, they'd have turned into a mob to come to his aid at the drop of a hat."

"We eventually met up with them on a cliff overlooking the harbour. It was a dark and stormy night . . . ."

Rose nearly chokes on her pizza.

"Jeez." I huff in annoyance. "So that's a cliché, but it _was_ a dark and stormy night . . . ."

...

_We eventually met up with each other on a cliff overlooking the harbour. It was a dark and stormy night . . . ._

...

I pause to glare at her but she keeps her amusement to herself, mostly.

...

_It's difficult to explain what it was like to meet Jasper for the first time when he was not pretending to be a human or a Doctor._

_He was big, very big and he exuded confidence, menace and power like cologne._

_Edward and I were scarred but Jasper's scars looked like they'd been intricately worked over millennia by a master calligrapher._

_In short he was one scary vampire, and that was without him being able to project any fear on me because of my shield._

_I probably would have changed my mind about the whole exercise and beat a hasty retreat if a smiling Alice hadn't been peeking round his massive frame and bouncing with excitement._

_We found out later that she had foreseen our meeting going well but Jasper, who was aware of Edward's reputation, wasn't prepared to take any chances with his mate and coven._

_So there we stood, on that dark and stormy night._

_Alice and I slightly behind our mates but smiling at each other and Jasper and Edward engaging in a very long testosterone fuelled stare down._

"_Jasper." Alice said eventually. "I am attracting moss and lichens, can we move this along?"_

_He laughed, and that man had the deepest warmest laugh of any being I have ever met. And then he smiled, which was also quite impressive._

_Edward was not impressed and I had to wonder what he was reading in Jasper's mind that was making him so tense._

_It turned out Jasper was aware of his gift and was basically 'telling' him everything he knew about him from the gossip about his time as the Angel of Death to Alice's vision of him becoming a loving member of their family. And, being Jasper, showing Edward some of his own history._

_Edward wasn't equipped at that point to see it as an overture of friendship so we had to stand there a little while longer._

"_Jasper, Edward, perhaps we should speak for Bella's benefit?" Alice suggested._

"_You know us?" I gasped, instinctively moving closer to Edward who reached out to pull me into this side._

"_Its complicated love." He said quietly. "But I believe we should listen to them."_

_We talked all night . . . ._

...

"Was it still dark and stormy?" Rose enquires, batting her eyelashes at me.

"No. The rain had gone and the moon came out from behind a cloud. I can tell you the exact temperature if that helps?"

"No thanks, I'm good."

Cheeky minx.

...

_I sat quietly as they talked, which is my way when I'm learning something new, I like time to absorb it._

_Eventually Edward and Jasper began talking about their shared experiences of death and destruction and Alice scooted closer to me so we could talk ourselves. She explained about their coven, which they very much thought of as a family, their lifestyle living and working among humans and more on her visions of Edward and me joining them. I asked her the myriad questions my mind had been marshalling and she answered them all openly and honestly._

_I had no prickles about what she said and I could visualise it so easily it was almost as if I could see her visions._

_When we were done Edward and Jasper were still talking quietly so we sat and listened. After a while she took my hand and I let her._

_It's hard to describe that night, but I think Jasper did more for Edward during that conversation than I had ever managed before. _

...

"There's nothing like meeting a redeemed man when you doubt you can be one yourself." I conclude.

She blinks and smiles that smile at me again and I smile back.

She'd better be my sister one day or I'm taking Em's balls and fucking keeping them.

...

_I was sold but nevertheless I agreed with Edward and Jasper that we'd travel with them for a while and see how it went._

_Esme and Carlisle were wonderful people and welcomed us immediately._

_And so did Em, though with a lot less decorum and a lot more teasing._

_He and Edward tussled many times in those early days and not always in the friendly way they enjoy now._

_Like any Dad Jasper would wade in and separate them when needed, which was how I first got to see where the confidence and menace came from, he handled the highly skilled warrior and the giant prodigiously strong doofus like a couple of scrawny chickens._

_It was after one of those incidents that Jasper and Alice decided we were all going to attend High School to learn how to behave like normal teenagers. To my intense surprise I loved it, and so did the others. We went to school, we went to college, we worked, and then we moved and started all over again._


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Six Beware of Russians Bearing Cucumbers **

**RPOV**

Bells managed to string her Whitlock family stories out for the rest of the afternoon, for which I am eternally grateful, so by the time we texted the others we were instructed to return to the minivan. Result. I love to shop but I'm only human, Alice and the Denalis are way too advanced for me.

"Did the minivan have a roof top box when we got here?" I ask Bella.

"Nope." She chuckles. "But don't sweat it, Alice has bought a whole new car before to get her purchases home."

"You people are way too rich." I observe.

"Tell me about it. We own warehouses all over the world just so we don't have to throw any of our crap away. Kleptos, every one of us . . . ."

...

We'd barely pulled away when they started on the sex stuff again. I don't think lingerie is all they bought this afternoon but it's sure as hell all they want to talk about. Still, it's nothing if not educational and so what if my face is burning like a hot coal . . . .

"He does." Bella insists. "We've tried everything and he likes modest pale blue cotton ones the best. Which is a godsend because I can get them in Wal-Mart and he goes through them like a human does toilet paper."

"Do they taste better when he rips them off with his teeth?" Renee wants to know.

"Renee." Bella sighs. "I've told you before, the only tastes Edward likes is Mountain Lion and me."

"What kind of lingerie does Emmett like?" Tanya asks me.

"He wears boxers." I answer, deliberately misunderstanding her question.

"No, on you silly." She snickers.

"He usually prefers me out of it." I lie, well, it might not be a lie . . . .

Everyone laughs and Alice attempts to change the subject but Tanya interrupts her.

"He always used to be very fond of stockings and suspenders." She purrs.

"Yeah." I allow. "And when I was immature I used to be very fond of training bras, but I grew out of them . . . ."

I lean back in my seat and push my chest out, possibly the only thing I have going over her physically, two fried eggs, know what I mean?

Everyone, including Tanya, laughs and Alice gets to change the subject.

...

"You sure you can't stay again tonight?" Em whispers into my ear as we make out behind his truck.

"Yes. I have to feed Dad."

"You know he's survived into middle age without you cooking for him?" Em murmurs as he nibbles on my ear lobe.

"Em." I sigh, leaning my head sideways to encourage him to include my neck in his ministrations. "I have to go home."

"Okay." He breathes into my skin, making me shiver. "But." Nibble, kiss. "Will." Nibble, kiss, lick. "You think about." Nibble, lick kiss, suck. "Something for me?"

"Anything." I moan, letting my body press against him the way it wants to.

"Moving into the apartment over the store together at the end of the summer?"

I gasp and he takes advantage, slanting his mouth down over mine . . . .

...

Breakfast.

"Um, Dad?"

He tips his head to indicate I should carry on, mouth too full of oatmeal to respond properly.

"How do you feel about me moving into the apartment over the store once Es and Carlisle move out?"

He chews and swallows, giving me the Hale stare.

"Alone?"

"Um, maybe?"

"I'm going to work." He says, abandoning his breakfast and fetching his gun. "I don't know how I feel Rose, a man needs time to think about something like that. Okay?"

"Okay." I confirm, giving him my best smile.

...

The store is manic today, half the continental US seems to have decided to come fishing or hiking on the Olympic Peninsula and thankfully most of them seem to want to try out the local store before they schlep over to Newton's. I think we have Alice's advertising boards outside to thank for that.

If an 'authentic local experience' includes being served by a vampire then Reynolds' Hardware is all over it.

Es, Carlisle and I opened up and by lunch we'd called in Em and Bells as reinforcements.

Tanya came with them, she didn't get in the way but her presence dragged on me like a lodestone. Em effectively asked me to live with him, I shouldn't be worried, but seriously, the woman's fucking gorgeous and doesn't come with any of the baggage I have.

And she's a vampire, not a human. She isn't going to get old and unattractive, barring disaster she isn't going to die either. I know Em's an intelligent man, it shouldn't take much for him to work it out he's barking up the wrong tree.

And yes, I'm shallow enough to care that more customers are staring at her today than they are me. Although, to be fair, I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt and she's wearing something that my Mom would classify as a 'country club' dress.

...

"Right." Es declares as we lock up at the end of a lucrative day. "Carlisle and I are off upstairs to pretend to cook dinner. See you all tomorrow."

Dismissed we file out into the lot at the back of the store.

"Em, Rose." Tanya asks. "Are you coming to the club in PA with us?"

"Dancing?" I enquire, suddenly feeling a lot less tired.

"Looks like we are." Em laughs. "Rose loves to dance."

...

I clatter downstairs in my club attire sometime later.

"I don't want to know where you're going or what you're doing." Dad growls. "Just remind your boyfriend his holding cell's getting lonely."

"Will do." I holler back as the minivan pulls onto the drive. "Later."

...

I leave the vampires to sort themselves out and drag my willing boyfriend straight onto the dance floor.

He's such a good dancer, such a good partner for me . . . .

"Ready for a drink?" He asks after an hour.

"Please." I confirm, suddenly aware that I'm parched and flagging.

He guides me back to the table the others have claimed and eases me into a seat.

"Back in a minute." He murmurs, disappearing into the crowd.

"Wow." Kate declares, fanning herself. "You guys must have quite the sex life, that was _hot_."

"Right." Renee adds dreamily. "All these years and I didn't know the Emmy Bear had it in him."

"I told you." Tanya snickers, shouldering her playfully.

"Awkward." Bella mutters, realising I've heard.

Silence around the table, everyone looking at me.

"What?" I demand, tilting my chin.

Some of them blink at me, some of them inspect their drinks.

Scary vampires my ass, frightened of an awkward social moment.

I glance up to see the man in question heading toward me through the crush with one of those vivid green drinks he knows I love, taking his usual care not to damage an oblivious human.

I level my gaze back at Tanya.

"You know, several people drove Dave The Car before I bought him. Doesn't make him any less mine."

"I'll happily have Property of Honey Hale tattooed on my forehead." Em says, placing my drink in front of me and his hand on my shoulder. "If it clears anything up for anybody."

"There was never anything to clear up." Tanya says, looking apologetic. "You and Rose belong together, anyone can see that."

"Tanya didn't know you'd told Rose about her and blurted something out she shouldn't have done." Bella explains.

"Of course I told her." Em chuckles, hunkering down beside me.

"I should have known." Tanya confesses, shaking her head with a small smile. "You wouldn't make a mistake like that with the woman you love."

"Oh don't." I growl as Em preens beside me. "We'll need to take a wall of the club down to get his incredibly swollen head out."

"Don't worry Rose." Kate snorts. "Taking Emmett down a peg or two is something we're all good at, remember Tahoe Emmy Bear?"

"We swore." He groans as the rest of them start laughing. "What happened in Tahoe stays in Tahoe."

"But it didn't stay in Tahoe did it Emmett?" Edward snickers. "I seem to remember it happening again in Reno . . . ."

"What's this?" I enquire, my interest thoroughly peaked.

"Aw Honey." Em groans. "I know I said I'd tell you everything you wanted to know but can't we leave me with a little dignity?"

"Let me guess." I sigh theatrically. "Was there a wardrobe malfunction involved?"

"And a cucumber." Renee squeaks, struggling to keep from laughing out loud.

"He made one of his ludicrously boastful bets with the Denalis and ended making more than the usual spectacle of himself." Bella drawls. "It's really not an experience I'd care to relieve out loud since I can never erase the image or the noises from my mind. Dance with me Edward."

"Must I?" The Angel of Death groans, shoving out his lower lip like a small child.

"No. There's a blonde guy over there in a Ramones T I'd be quite happy to take for a test drive . . . ."

And we all laugh as he bears her rapidly to the dance floor, her dainty feet kicking wildly above the ground.

...

After devouring me with his cool lips Em leaves me to drag myself up to bed, assuring Dad that he's gone along the way.

Exhausted but happy from all that dancing I strip off, open the window, and flop into my bed and an immediate deep sleep.

...

"You snore." A voice informs me as I wake up to total darkness.

"Shit. Fuck. Tanya? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you if that's alright?"

"Can't you use a phone and daylight hours like a normal person?" I grouch, sitting up to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"I could have done but I consulted the 'Oracle' and she said now was as good a time as any."

"As good a time as any for what?"

"To talk."

"You know humans take a while to wake up, right?"

"Yes, so I brought coffee." She says, and said coffee appears in front of my face, steaming enticingly.

I take it and take a scalding sip.

"You want to talk to me?"

"Yes. I want to apologise, explain, make friends."

"Um?"

"Drink, listen, stop me if you have a question."

"Okay."

...

_Tanya was born in Russia over a thousand years ago, the mind boggles._

_She was bleeding to death having fallen from a horse when her 'Mother', Sasha, found and changed her._

_They travelled together, preying exclusively on men until they ran into another blonde one day. Katarina, Kate, was the disgruntled daughter of a wealthy Lord, Sasha and Tanya's easy disdain for and command of men fascinated her and she developed an obsession with the two free spirited women who didn't seem to need to be married to some worthy suitor in order to live their lives. Obsession is always a dangerous thing and it wasn't long before Kate learned the Denalis' secret. Sasha changed her because they liked her and because it was a better solution to them than killing her to protect their secret._

...

"Is it really that dangerous for a human to know about vampires?" I ask.

"Yes." Tanya says firmly. "If we get caught by the Volturi they will execute us for it."

"Then, why are Em and the Whitlocks, you for that matter, taking such a risk with me?"

"Bear with me Rose, we Russians like to spin a good story, all will become clear . . . ."

...

_A few centuries later the Denalis were travelling in France when they met Renee._

_Renee was the daughter of a well to do merchant but had rather come to grief, or more specifically come to love, the Ostler and been cast out, pregnant and disgraced, by her family. She had miscarried but survived and was working as a maid at a tavern the Denalis chose to stay at._

_She was a beautiful buxom blonde with a happy demeanour and a sassy sway to her hips and was clearly working her way, quite happily, through the bed of every traveller that took her fancy or had something to offer her. She wanted to go to Paris and become an actress and she probably would have made it too if she hadn't taken a fancy to the wrong man._

_Tanya ate him for breakfast and Sasha saved Renee's life and made herself another daughter._

...

"She was a wonderful Mother, Sasha." Tanya sighs.

"What happened to her?"

"Have they told you about the Immortal Children?"

I shake my head.

...

_It wasn't uncommon for vampires, not always females, to bring their procreational instincts over to their new life with them and this sometimes resulted in them changing large numbers of others to join their covens and in some cases, inappropriately small children._

_The sisters had journeyed to Spain, meeting Carmen and Eleazar there, when a cadre of the Volturi Guard arrived to escort them to Volterra to witness Sasha's trial._

_Sasha was accused of changing a three year old boy, Vasilli._

_The sisters were distraught and knew it couldn't be true._

_But they were wrong._

_Sasha had found the boy, lone survivor in a pestilence riddled village, and been overcome by a desire to keep him. So instead of taking him to the nearest safe village and leaving him on the Church steps, she changed him._

_In a previous century the Immortal Children had become something of a plague, one that truly threatened the ability of vampires to remain secret. They were beautiful and tugged at the heart strings of their covens but they couldn't be educated. Vampires don't change easily at any age but you just couldn't reason with an inhumanly strong child, you couldn't explain to them why slaughtering people wholesale was bad, or why they needed to hide their strength and superiority. Even the most savage of vampires in the Guard had been known to balk at the sight of a toddler ripping the spine out of a full grown man so he could suck on it like a lollipop._

_The sisters never got the chance to talk to their Mother about why she'd done it when she already knew the bloody history and the myriad covens the Volturi had executed in order to stamp the phenomena out. The 'trial' was only interested in facts and punishment. They did however get to watch as the Guard dismembered their Mother and Vasilli, tossing their remains into a voracious fire._

_That the sisters were spared their Mother's fate is an example of ignorance being bliss._

_Shocked and scared they left Volterra and with nowhere else to go returned to Spain to seek out the golden eyed vegetarian vampires with their talk of a new and better life. Tanya in particular, now the eldest, felt a burning need to find a way, any way, to protect her sisters from sharing their Mother's fate._

_Not long after the newly formed Denali clan immigrated to the United States, leaving from Ireland on a rickety and overcrowded steamship. Since the sisters were new to the vegetarian lifestyle there were considerably less people on the ship when it finally docked in New York._

_One of the first things they did on arrival was seek out Eleazar's old friend, Jasper Whitlock._

_..._

"I never wanted anything from Emmett and he never offered it, but we were there and we were single." She assures me. "Do you want to hear?"

"Fuck no!" I insist. "No offence but water under the bridge doesn't need to be sucked up for another journey down."

"Quite." Tanya chuckles. "He was then and has always been my 'brother' before all else, that will never change. I want him to be happy and he is, now that he has you."

"Thanks." I tell her, setting aside my empty paper coffee cup.

"So." She chuckles. "I've mentioned I think, that vampires don't change easily, we're set in stone in more ways than one and when we do change it is usually total and lasting."

"I've heard that." I confirm with a nod.

"And that we are taking a risk letting you in on our secret?"

Another nod.

"Do you know what that means? Do you understand why?"


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Seven Relationship 101**

**RPOV**

I thought I knew, what it meant, why.

But I'd only been seeing half the picture, wrapped up in my own worries and concerns.

I'm mad at Em. Even though I know him well enough to understand why he didn't explain any of this to me in a detail I wouldn't have been able to ignore.

And I don't have the words or the maturity to explain the way I feel to him in words, so instead I'm treating him like shit, hurting him with the behaviour my words would be able to explain.

I suck.

...

I've left my supernatural whatever they ares to their own devices today, I even insisted they closed the store, so I can help Ang and Ben pack up their car and set sail for college, they're leaving early so they can make a road trip out of the journey.

Mrs Weber is in absolute floods, inconsolable even by the warm presence that is the Reverend Weber. I guess even though there are several little Webers who will be home for quite a while it's a wrench when your first child leaves home.

Makes me think about Dad and how he won't let us talk about the apartment and Em.

I don't know why I keep pushing it, Em and I living together is a really bad idea, an Em could end up dead kind of really bad idea. I know he should leave with the family but I'm not a good enough or strong enough person to tell him to. I told him I loved him because I was sure I did, but what if I don't love him enough, what if my love is just the selfish kind? I don't want him to leave. Ever.

And according to Tanya, he won't, ever.

"Oi, Rose!" Ben calls. "You loading that in the trunk or keeping it as a souvenir?"

"Oh crap, sorry, zoned out for a minute and no, your athletic equipment is not the sort of thing I'm likely to get emotional about after you're gone."

I heave the box in the trunk and return for the next load, I have to hand it to Ben, being a nerd is clearly useful for maximising the loading potential of a Chevy Impala when you can't afford a U-Haul, he's got it all worked out to the last awkward angle, Tetris style.

In only an hour we're done and I'm ready to say my goodbyes and get gone before the families Weber and Cheney break down completely.

Ang and I hug like mad and a few tears slip out when she tells me she wishes I was coming with them, I'm going to miss her so much, she's been such strong yet quiet friend to me. We finally part and I turn to Ben who has been equally quiet and steadfast in his support.

"I'd hug you." He says, blushing. "But I don't wanna start college with two black eyes and a fractured jaw."

"You can hug me Ben, I don't mind."

And I don't, not even when he very briefly tries to squeeze the life out of me.

...

Dad's at work and I should probably go to the Whitlocks since the Denalis are leaving in the morning but for some reason I can't face them all, or Em, at the moment so I text him to tell him I'm exhausted and drag myself up to bed.

Not that I can sleep with everything going round in my head. The store, it's a big responsibility for a shallow blonde. Em, so many Em related plates spinning in my mind I can't latch onto one long enough to come to any conclusions. College, should I have gone? Mom, though she always pops into my head now with the unwelcome baggage that is Dick. Dad, I've never worried about Dad, beyond him finding out anything about Dick and now I realise I've been selfish in just assuming that he's always alright, what if he's not? And then there's Tanya and what she told me last night, what I should have seen but hadn't.

I toss and turn and toss and turn.

I go downstairs to inspect Dad's alcohol stash and then decide I'm past using that as a break from my problems, not to mention there isn't enough left for anything I steal not to get noticed.

I make myself some toast and spend an hour toying with increasingly disgusting toppings.

Then I give up, because there's only one person who can help me sort all this out, and that's Emmett McCarty Whitlock.

'I need you' I text.

'On my way' He replies.

...

"We need to talk." I inform him when he knocks on the door.

"Okay."

I lead him upstairs, taking my accustomed position cross legged on the bed while he dwarfs my rocking chair.

"I've been a bitch to you these last couple of days and I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He shrugs. "I know you don't mean any harm by it but you should have worked out by now that it's zero use at pushing me away."

"Yeah." I admit, discovering I'm wearing those damn pjs with the loose thread on the pants leg again. "Old habits die hard I guess."

"Tell me about it." He chuckles. "I still scratch my butt when Alice isn't looking even though I haven't had an actual itch in over a hundred fifty years."

"You're gross."

"I know."

"I suppose you know Tanya came to see me last night?"

"I tried to stop her but the others restrained me."

I snort, restrained in this case probably means sat on him.

"Did she tell you what she told me?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you want me to know?"

"I wanted you to know."

"Then why didn't _you_ tell me?"

"I didn't want to freak you out."

"And I'm how easy to freak out, exactly?"

"You're not easy to freak out Honey, you've just had a lot to deal with, I didn't want to burden you with anything else until you were ready."

"I knew you'd say that." I huff. "What if I'm ready now?"

"You can ask me anything, you know that."

"I don't know where to start."

"Start anywhere, I can keep up."

I frown at him, now is not the time to go any more vampire on me than necessary.

"Talk Honey, we'll get through it all."

"You told me it was dangerous for humans to know about vampires but you never told me how dangerous."

"The chances of the Volturi finding out about you are extremely slim, it's a calculated risk."

"Okay, but you never told me really why you, any of you, are taking it."

"You know I love you."

"Yes, but you didn't explain properly."

"Rosalie Honey Hale, I love you. I will only ever love you for the rest of my existence. You are my mate and I am yours. No matter what hoops I have to jump through I will never willing leave you unless you tell me to."

"What happens when I die?"

"You're healthy as a horse."

"What happens when I die, Emmett?"

"I'll die too, at least on the inside."

"You don't know that." I object.

"Yes, Honey, I do."

"Then why don't you want to change me so I can't die?"

"I never said I didn't."

"You never said you did."

"No, I didn't. I didn't think you were ready to hear it, you've only just been able to start living, I love you, why the hell would I want to introduce the topic of you dying?"

"Would you?"

"Change you?"

"Yes."

"If you wanted it, in a heartbeat."

"You'd want to keep me with you forever?"

"Yes. I would."

"I don't . . . ." I hesitate, not sure where to start.

"Which is precisely why I've never brought it up. You love that store, you love your Dad and you love your life here. What kind of asshole would I be if I started trying to prise you away from it?"

"What kind of asshole am I for wanting to hang onto it?"

"I've lived several lifetimes already, you don't think I can wait while you live your first?"

"How long will you wait Em? Till I'm a little old lady?"

"If that's what you want."

"You love me that much?" I snort in disbelief.

"I love you enough to want your happiness over mine."

"What if I never want to be a vampire? What if I want kids Em?"

"I love you enough to want your happiness over mine."

"You mean that don't you?" I ask, starting to cry.

"You know I do Honey. You're it for me."

I open my arms and he slides onto the bed, wrapping himself around me like a blanket.

"I don't know what I want." I sob. "But I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to leave, even though you should for your own safety. I don't even fucking like kids. I can't stand the thought of you missing me when I'm gone. I don't want us to be blank pages. I don't want to let Mrs R down, or my Dad. I should go to college, Mom never got the chance. What if I have an accident before we've sorted anything out? That would suck . . . . I don't want you to bite me . . . . I've never been water skiing . . . . or abroad . . . . Won't you miss your family? I will . . . . Em, there's so much . . . ."

"Shush, Honey. Remember when I said we could work the future out together? This is all the stuff I meant. There's time, we have time, you don't need to make any decisions now."

I nod into his chest, still crying uncontrollably.

"But there is something else I want to ask you?"

"What?"

"If you do, have an accident or get sick, would you want me to change you?"

"If I was going to die?"

"Yes."

"Yes, please, Em, I'd want that."

...

After a while we manage to talk through most of the other stuff that's been bothering me.

Dad seems like he's okay because he is. His only daughter is happy and healthy, he loves his job, and apparently many of the single ladies of Forks and the surrounding areas. Did I need to know that? In an odd way, yes.

And Mom? Well, she's still my Mom, what she doesn't know about Dick can't hurt her any more than she has been already. Not every Mother and Daughter combo is destined for a life time of closeness any more than most lovers are.

I know we haven't really resolved anything tonight, but we talked and we know where we stand, and that's a start.

...

The Denalis left and Tanya left me a present. The note read 'Just in case, and always silk, accept no substitutes'.

Humph.

I already know Em likes stockings and suspenders, we established this a while back, and not just because it amuses him to ping the elastic like a prepubescent.

Nevertheless I've never had any silk stockings before and they do feel kind of nice . . . .

She left me her number so I text her to say thanks.

...

Today Em asked if I wanted to spend the weekend in Seattle with him, he'd already asked Dad who grunted but didn't shoot him, so I guess that's permission if I want to go.

I do, and not just because I'm grateful for an excuse to spend time with Em on his own. We've been hovering on the cusp of something more between us and, after recent revelations, I'm feeling kind of stupid that I've been too afraid to take another step with him.

Of course as soon as I make up my mind to say yes, Alice, who is helping out in the store, starts squealing and bouncing up and down on the spot.

"Please." I groan. "Don't tell me anything."

"I wouldn't dream of it." She says, pretending to be offended. "However Es and I know a boutique in Portland that will be perfect for your pre trip shopping trip."

My heart sinks and she must have seen me start mentally rifling through my excuses because she purses her lips and wags her finger at me.

"Silly Rose." She trills. "There's no escape now."

"Congratulations." Bella drawls as she passes us with a camping stove for a customer. "You're screwed. And yes Alice, your first vision was correct, I am _not _coming to Portland with you, Carlisle and I will mind the store like good little siblings."

"Ah." Alice sighs. "I have such lovely children . . . ."

"Emmett!" Edward roars from somewhere out the back. "I'm going to shove that duck right up your fucking ass . . . ."

"Or maybe not." She sighs, smiling fondly nevertheless.

...

The pre trip shopping trip turned out not to be so bad, Alice can apparently shop normally when not spurred on by the Denalis, in fact we had a fantastic day out and she even remembered to feed the human.

Right now I'm packing and fairly vibrating with excitement, three whole days of Em and I, I can't wait.

We've talked about the trip and what I want, and what I'm still afraid of so we've once again agreed that it's our time to do with as we please, at any pace that pleases us, and I realised again how lucky I am. Where else on earth would I find a man like Em?

My cell starts vibrating and I snatch it up.

Dick.

No. Never again, back to packing.

It vibrates again to let me know I have a message and then starts vibrating to indicate another incoming call.

Dick.

Still no. Has he got a fucking web cam in my room? Does he know when the best time is to bring me down?

I glance around because frankly it wouldn't surprise me.

Another message.

Then the house phone starts to ring, Dad's at the station so it can ring forever, anyone I want to speak to will ring my cell or appear at my bedroom window.

My cells starts up again I snatch it back up, annoyed now.

Mom.

Right Dick. No.

The house phone rings again, for a very long time, but my obstinacy pays off because eventually it all goes quiet and I can pack in peace.

A few minutes later I hear Dad come in and thunder up the stairs.

"Rose, baby, Rich just called, your Mom's had a heart attack, and you need to go to Phoenix, now."


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons. **

**Chapter Thirty Eight Phoenix in Reverse**

**RPOV**

The first words out of my mouth were instinctual, 'I can't', because I need to be alone in Phoenix with Dick like a need a hole in the head.

"What do you mean you can't?" Dad queries, frowning. "The Whitlocks are very kindly covering the store for you this weekend anyway, Rich has already reserved you tickets you just need ID to collect them."

I'm in shock, Mom's had a heart attack? Isn't it just men that have heart attacks? What does it mean, is she going to die? Or do I just need to take her magazines and some grapes? Mom's had a heart attack . . . .

"Will you come with me?" I ask.

"Rose . . . ." Dad sighs, frown deepening. "I can't just take off work . . . .

"I can't Dad, not on my own, _please_, please don't make me go on my own."

He blows out a breath studying my pleading face.

"Okay Rose, whatever you need."

"Thanks Dad." From the bottom of my heart.

He glances at the clothes, mostly lingerie, piled neatly in my case and abruptly scowls.

"You'd better pack something more suitable while I check the flight times." He growls, stomping out.

Yeah, no weekend with Em, just a weekend Dick dodging and worrying about Mom.

I pick my cell up to call Em but see he's already texted that he's on his way, its five minutes before he knocks on the door though, every second of which must have driven him demented based on what Alice is likely to have seen.

Dad opens the door and it becomes clear Em wasn't the only one stressing out, Bella is hot on his heels, her hand massaging the back of her neck like its paining her.

Oh good, so there's nothing for me to worry about then . . . .

I fling myself into Em's embrace and let Bella start questioning Dad about what's going on.

"We're coming too." Em informs him.

"Em." I whisper. "You can't, the sun . . . ."

"It's okay." He whispers back as Bella and Dad start making arrangements. "We'll keep ourselves occupied during the day so you can spend time with your Mom, but we can visit with you, do whatever, at night."

"What did Alice see?"

"Lots of things." He murmurs into my hair. "None of which I liked but it all changed the second Bells and I decided to come with you. Worry about your Mom, not Dick, we've got your back, and your Dad's."

"Oh Em." I moan into his chest. "I don't know . . . . a heart attack is really serious, right?"

"Jasper says it can be, he said he'd be quite happy to call her Doctor if we text him the details tomorrow, find out what's going on medico to medico."

"What would I do without you guys?"

"You'd cope Honey, you're strong, but the good news is that you don't have to, that's what family is for."

...

Bells gets us a direct flight from Seattle that gets into Phoenix late enough to avoid the sun and before I know it we're all packed in Em's truck and on our way.

...

I'm so worried about Mom that when we land in Phoenix and drive our rental straight to the hospital it's almost a shock to find Dick there.

Fortunately I can ignore him as Dad starts questioning him, instead I rush straight into Mom's room with Em and Bella hot on my heels.

I don't know what I was expecting, maybe I'd subconsciously decided not to let myself anticipate anything.

Mom and I have had our differences but she's still my Mom.

Or at least she was.

I almost don't recognise this grey unconscious woman.

"Mom?"

Em catches up to me and takes my hand, Bella goes straight for the chart and starts reading.

"Mom?" I ask again, my voice breaking. "It's me, Rose, Mom?"

Tentatively I reach out to touch the pale hand lying on the bed. It's cool, like Em, but my touch doesn't illicit any response.

"Mom?"

"I thought she'd just had a heart attack?" Em asks Bella quietly.

"Its a bit more complicated than that, give me a minute . . . ." She mutters, going back to the chart.

"Mom?"

I know he and Bella are talking at vampire speed now, I can feel the faint movement of it through Em's massive hand around mine.

But I can't take my eyes, or my attention, off my Mom.

"Mom?"

"She's unconscious Rosalie." Dick says, coming into the room with Dad. "The Doctors say she may be able to hear us but they aren't sure, she's in a medically induced coma."

"What happened?" I demand, turning to face him so I don't have to face my Mom for a moment.

"We don't really know." Dick says, his attention fully focussed on me. "I came home from a tennis tournament at the club and found her collapsed on the floor in the kitchen, I gave her CPR but we don't know how long she was 'out' the coma is give her brain a chance to heal from any damage caused."

I know that look in his eye.

I know it.

He's lying . . . .

The next hour is a whirl of Doctors and talk.

Talk, talk, talk.

All of it conducted over Mom's prone and unresponsive form.

I didn't even understand half of what they told me but it seemed to corroborate Dick's story, still his eyes on me, throughout the whole thing, are disturbing and while Em holds onto me tightly I can feel the silent growls roiling through his chest like air bubbling to the surface of a lake.

Eventually we escape, can you call it that when your Mother is at death's door, and check into our hotel.

I'm not prepared to push Dad right now so I go to my room alone, calmed slightly by the knowledge that Em will come as soon as he can.

Mom might die and I love her, that was the whole point to all of this, I didn't want her to suffer, I wanted her to be happy . . . .

...

Inexplicably, given the circumstances, I'm dozing when there's a knock at the door and I stagger to it, flinging it open.

"Rosalie."

"Dick."

"My name is Richard."

"Whatever Dick."

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." A familiar voice growls. "She's sure."

And Bella pushes past him into my room.

Dick raises an eyebrow.

"This is Bella Whitlock, Em's sister."

"Nice to meet you." Dick says with his best smile, offering his hand.

Bella's smile is evil as she shakes it, even I can hear his bones creak and he pulls his hand back, failing to hide his wince.

"What do you want?" I ask with no attempt at politeness.

"I'm your step father Rose, we both love Irina and this must be as hard for you as it is for me, I thought perhaps we should talk?"

"We have nothing to talk about."

"You can be so cold and hard." He sighs, letting me see his 'disappointment' in what an awful daughter I am to Mom.

"Not as cold and hard as me." Bella growls. "Step back so the door doesn't impact with your cheap veneers."

And without waiting she slams it in his face, cracking the frame.

I gape at her and she shrugs, flinging herself on the bed an immediately flicking on the TV to channel hop.

"He makes my neck feel like it's sunburnt. Em might be pussy enough to tolerate his continued existence but he's hanging by a thread with me, one false move and he's kitty litter."

I blink at her and she pats the bed beside her.

"Em's hunting, he'll be back soon, your Dad is watching SportsCenter and calling his latest girlfriend. Dick's already in the parking lot sinking his saggy ass in his Porsche, relax America's Got Talent is about to start."

"My Mom might be dying." I observe, stupidly under the circumstances.

"Come and snuggle the stone sister." Bella urges, patting the bed again. "Let me tell you about mine."

"I thought you didn't remember yours." I ask as I settle into her side.

"I didn't, not for a long time, but it came back eventually."

...

_Bella's mother had an affair, not a common occurrence in the 1870s, with a rival merchant to Charles Swan. Bella had been as scandalised and ashamed as Charles at the time which is probably why her initial last human memories hadn't included her mother. Though she had been there, calling at the Swan house every day, begging for a chance to explain to her daughter why she had done what she'd done._

_She liked and admired Charles, she adored Isabella, but she fell in love once and once only with Michael Graham Newton._

...

"You are kidding me!"

"No." She admits. "Like I would willingly admit to being even partially related to that sad waste of a ball sac."

"Ew."

"My sentiments exactly."

...

_Bella doesn't know for sure what trigged the return of her memories of her mother but she speculates that it was meeting and falling in love with Alice, her new mother._

_Eventually she went, with Edward and Alice, back to Chicago to try and find out what happened to her._

_Initially it wasn't unexpected, Marie Isabella Swan, widow, married Michael Graham Newton a mere month after the Great Fire. Their son, also Michael, was born six months later._

_But what Bella didn't expect was that the mother who she thought had abandoned her spent the rest of her very short life searching the rebuilt Chicago for proof positive that her daughter died or survived the fire, amassing an at the time renowned collection of eye witness accounts in the process._

...

"She loved me." Bella concludes. "And I'd all but written her off."

...

I wake up later to find myself draped over an altogether more familiar stone body.

"I love you." I mumble.

"Go back to sleep." He hums into my hair. "I'm trying to watch America's Got Talent on catch up."

"Okay."

"Good girl, love you too."

...

Blinding Phoenix sunlight wakes me up, how I've missed it, except that now it's separated me from Em and Bella.

There's a knock at the door.

"Rose, baby, don't make me eat breakfast alone." Dad says.

"Ten minutes!"

"Okay, I'll meet you down there."

...

I stagger down fifteen minutes later and he wordlessly hands me a coffee, getting up straight away to peruse the breakfast buffet.

I sip my coffee and nod every time he mimes offering me something I like from across the room and within minutes he's brought me a heaped Hale plateful to match his own, just without the syrup, because that's nasty and unnatural.

"How you holding up?" He wants to know.

"Badly?"

"Your Mom's a strong woman, don't give up."

"K Dad."

"Okay. Eat."

...

One of the things about being at the bedside of a seriously ill relative is the absolute lack of change. They don't just miraculously recover or shatter you by dying. It isn't that clean. They linger, lulling you into a false sense of security with one medical update and condemning you into despair with the next.

At least it was only Dad and I, Dick had to work.

I talked to her, all day, I know it was probably pointless but it was important, there was so much I needed to tell her. So while Dad wandered in and out I poured my heart out to her . . . .

When Dick arrived early evening I feigned exhaustion and Dad took me back to the hotel, forcing me to eat a good meal and then packing me off to bed where my Em, my sanity, was thankfully waiting.

I slept like a log.

Not the world's best daughter considering tomorrow morning the Doctors are going to start bringing Mom out of her coma.

...

It's a big occasion and fortunately not a sunny one, so Bells and Em are both able to come with us. Not that there's anything to see, they don't exactly slap poor Mom round the face and demand she wakes up, just agree to phase out the barbiturates that are sedating her to see what happens.

Em fetches me a coffee and after an hour or so I realise that what is in fact going to happen is pretty much nothing.

My poor Mom is just as grey and just as lifeless.

And to add to the tension the Dick is in the house.

Dad and Bella have fled the scene a couple of times to visit the cafeteria and wander the corridors but the rest of us are compelled to stay here for one reason or another. Em, Dick and me.

Em is holding my hand and, when we're not talking, staring implacably at Dick. Dick is doing his best to ignore Em's naked hostility and I'm doing my best to ignore Dick and not break down into a pile of gibbering mush. Dick's crimes feel dim and distant today, almost like they happened to somebody else, today is all about Mom.

When the Doctor pays us a visit we ask him why she hasn't woken up yet and are treated to one of those terrifying 'oh how little you understand you poor people' smiles and some more mysterious medical jargon and as soon as Bella and Dad return Em slips outside to ask Jasper what the hell is going on.

"Edward's coming." He whispers when he returns.

"Why? Surely he can go 48 hours without Bella?"

The woman in question laughs and goes back to staring menacingly at Dick.

"There's some doubt." Em chuckles. "But no, Jasper thought he'd be useful."

"And how is the Angel of Death going to be useful in this exact circumstance?" I want to know.

Em lists off on his fingers.

"He has several medical degrees of his own. He's driving Jasper nuts without Bella and Alice is not happy about infuriated Templars throwing her painfully stylish furniture at one of her sons. Jasper thinks we're not being told something and that simply won't wash with ole nosey pants on the premises. And finally, Nurses love a drop of broody Eddie and your Mom will receive much more attentive service as a result."

"Oh. Okay."


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons, this time because Edward's been in Dick's head . . . .**

**Chapter Thirty Nine Cruel Intentions**

**RPOV**

Edward arrived at nightfall like a proper harbinger of death and I heard Dad explaining to Dick how Bella and Edward are usually inseparable and he'd come down to support Bella supporting me.

"It's like a circus in here." Dick complains quietly.

"Rich." Dad says with calm authority. "This is very hard for Rose but she loves the Whitlocks and they love her. As her father I'm glad that they're supporting her through this, I don't care if they all come."

"They're very hostile to me." Dick observes.

"Sorry Rich." Dad chuckles. "Maybe they've been sold a duff car or two in their lives."

"They're creating an atmosphere that might not be conducive to Irina's recovery." Dick growls.

"Hardly." Dad drawls. "I don't like you and Rose loathes you, I'd say they're probably diffusing a potentially toxic situation."

Dick huffs and leaves the room and Dad frowns at the rest of us for laughing.

But none of it wakes Mom up and eventually Dad and Em prise me out of the hospital for a decent meal, Edward and Bella elect to stay, promising to call if anything happens.

On auto pilot I direct them to what was once my favourite restaurant. Mom and I used to come here when we were flush with cash, which wasn't often, and I've forgotten until the Hostess seats us, that Dick used to bring us here to show off when he and Mom were first courting. I was impressed as fuck at the time.

Shit, get out of my head Dick, I have more important things to worry about right now.

Em and Dad talk sports while I pick at my food. It isn't the same here, either the rosy glow has gone off the place or I've just outgrown its overblown sense of faux luxury.

...

When we're done eating I want to go back to the hospital, I have a visceral fear of being away from Mom at the moment, but Em calls Bella who assures us there is no change and that I should get some rest while I can.

...

Right. Because I can do that at the drop of a hat right now.

After an hour of tossing and turning I sit up, wriggling out of Em's embrace.

"I can't sleep."

"Noticed that. What do you need?"

"A full life transplant. A well Mom. A lack of Dick. World peace?"

"You wanna transplant me out of your life?" Em asks, doing a good job of sounding crushed in the darkness.

"No. Only your terrible acting."

"It is not terrible, I won an award for it once."

"What sort of award?"

"A Camelot Music coupon for twenty dollars."

"A what?"

"F.Y.E."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Not really, it could have been a book store coupon."

"You could have given that to Bella at least."

"Pfft. Please. Sisters should be tormented, not given things that make them happy."

"You suck."

"You wound me."

"You're impervious."

"Sticks and stones won't break my bones but names will always hurt me."

"One day." I threaten without thinking.

"Bring it Honey." He chuckles, wrestling me down onto the bed so he can pretend to crush me with his giant weight. "I look forward to you exercising your superiority over me."

"Em, please, we both know I'm already doing that."

"Really?" He growls, undulating his hard body into mine.

"Really. Because if I want to get up now we both know you'll let me."

"True." He murmurs against my lips. "But then again we both know you don't want to . . . ."

...

The new day is much like the last.

Mom is grey and still, the machines working around her the only sign of life.

It's a funny thing, you know you can't run through the hospital wailing and screeching, as much as you'd like to, so you just, sit there, held in place by a set of social mores that don't make any sense under the circumstances.

Dad sticks close for which I'm extremely grateful.

Dick rolls up at lunch time and makes a great show of taking Mom's lifeless hand and mooning over it, his eyes on me whenever Dad isn't looking.

Awkward, because punching your stepfather probably isn't something the worried relative should be doing either.

Dad eventually drags me away from her bedside for some cafeteria food neither of us eats and when we get back Dick's gone and Em, Bella and Edward are in the room instead.

Of course I fling myself at Em, who plants himself in the chair by Mom's bed with me securely in his lap.

Dad mutters something about fresh air and wanders away, leaving us alone.

"What happened to Dick?"

"Edward's magnetic personality didn't seem to work on him." Bella giggles. "He lasted all of two minutes before he muttered something about needing to work and made a run for it."

"He's gone to see about 'pest control'." Edward smirks, dropping a kiss on the top of Bella's head as she weaves her arms around him.

Whatever. I have more pressing concerns.

"Did you find anything out?" I ask Edward who sighs and closes his eyes for a moment.

When he opens them again and fixes them heavily on me I'm not exactly flooded with feelings of impending good news.

But he doesn't speak.

"Edward, please, just tell me what you know."

"Dick did play tennis that day, but only in the morning. Rose, are you sure you want to hear this?"

I nod, firmly, get on with it already oh Angel of Procrastination.

"He came home early, deliberately, because he knew he'd catch your Mother doing something he could _chastise_ her for."

"Chastise?" I ask, I mean, I know what it means, but apparently not what he's trying to tell me.

Edward clams up again until Bella swats his midriff and frowns at him, which makes him sigh.

"Edward's an old fashioned gentleman." She apologies to me. "But he's working real hard to get over it. Rose deserves the truth Edward and she's woman enough to cope with it."

"I'm so sorry Rose." Edward says. "Your Mother had been drinking heavily."

"What? Since when? Mom gets giggly after one of whiff of the barman's apron. Why?"

"You weren't the only one Dick was, um, abusing."

"What?"

"He's truly evil Rose."

"I don't understand."

...

_Dick wasn't terribly pleased about my behaviour on their Forks visit, nor Em's and he took it out on an extremely surprised and unprepared Mom._

_He apologised like a mother fucker and took her on a ludicrously expensive Caribbean cruise._

_Mom thought they had a great time and that things had gotten back to normal. At least post Rose normal._

_Dick however was extremely displeased to have lost his primary toy and was infuriated to be reduced to less 'challenging' victims in my absence._

_He stewed and the plotted, making the occasional overture to bring me back into the game, growing increasingly infuriated when it became clear I wasn't bending or being cowed to his will. He thought about threatening Mom's happiness and safety again to draw me home but couldn't action his plan when I was refusing to have anything to do with him and certainly wasn't going to try too hard when I threatened him with Dad, on the basis that Dad was a cop and he was maybe pushing his luck._

_Making that sensible choice just made him even more determined, Dick isn't accustomed to losing. _

_He's been biding his time . . . . _

...

"Dick's first wife is in a mental institution in California."

"He didn't have a first wife."

"Yes he did." Edward assures me. "And a second, she had a teenage daughter too."

"I feel sick . . . ."

"Edward, stop." Em growls.

"No, Em, it's okay, I need to hear it, all of it."

...

_Dick broke his first wife overdoing the mental torture and once she was committed he divorced her and went 'shopping' for another, with a brilliant idea this time about how to maximise his options._

_Connie Southerton had a teenage daughter, Sarah._

_Sarah committed suicide when she was seventeen._

_Connie is in a mental institution in Texas._

_When Dick first moved to Phoenix he had a relationship with the woman who owned the then bakery adjoining his lot._

...

"I remember her." I whisper. "Mrs Anderson. Her daughter was a couple of years above me at school, we called her 'Freaky Frannie' and made her life a misery. Oh my god . . . ."

Nice one Rose.

"What happened to her?" Bella asks quietly.

"Mrs Anderson?" I query.

She nods.

"She threw herself off the top of the Cake House. We all thought it was because the eligible Dick dumped her."

"And Frannie?"

"She disappeared . . . . oh fuck . . . . Edward, please, tell me he didn't?"

"He didn't. Her escape from his clutches frustrated him almost as much as yours did."

...

_Dick knew, thanks to a couple of years practise, exactly what would work on me. What would bring me 'home'. He wasn't even worried about Em coming with me, yes he found him frightening physically, but he had a plan for that._

...

"What did he do to her Edward?"

...

_Not one to hurry, Dick was still mulling over his options when Mom came back from my Graduation, full of stories about how well I was doing, how proud she was of the way I'd turned my life around and how Mrs R had given me the gift of financial freedom. This did not please Dick who had always hoped to be able to use his money against me, especially while I was wilfully attempting to work my way through college._

_Mom thought Dick would be impressed that I wasn't going to be a burden on him, despite his repeated promises to take care of me financially, so she was quite surprised when he pitched a fit and beat the crap out of her._

...

"Oh Mom." I groan, reaching over to squeeze her lifeless hand.

...

_It was quite easy for him to persuade her to tell everyone that she'd taken a tumble after celebrating my Graduation a little too freely, because he told her about me. The truth about me._

_He told her exactly how and he'd abused and tortured me, how he'd used her happiness and wellbeing to stop me speaking out. He told her what a shit parent he thought she was, everyone, would think she was, for not noticing what he was doing to her only daughter. He told her he knew, because I'd told him, how much I hated her for allowing it to happen and how I had sworn I'd never forgive her for it, ever. He was full of ideas about what Dad would do given the bitter custody battle they'd had over me back in the day. He laughed at her for never realising that he was sleeping with and degrading her friends, or the female workers at their club. He wanted to know what on earth she had thought a successful man like him would see in a woman like her if it wasn't her hot corruptible young daughter and her equally hot little friends. And he demanded to know if Mom could imagine now what was really motivating Natasha to accuse me of seeking an affair with him._

...

"Wait, what?"

"Natasha, your best friend?"

"I know who she is Edward."

"Dick seduced her. She thought he was in love with her, that they were going to leave Phoenix together when she graduated."

...

_Seducing my BFF was easy for him. She'd always assured anyone that asked her that she was holding out for the perfect romantic hero, her very own Prince Charming. He had money, he had looks and he could certainly be charming when it suited him. He swept her off her feet and they engaged in a 'rampant' sexual affair with a few romantic dates thrown in for good measure, she was only seventeen, it didn't take much to convince her that he loved her._

_He was waiting for the perfect time for me to find out what was going on. To mess with my head because he knew I wouldn't want Mom to find out what he'd been doing._

_But he couldn't resist playing his games with Natasha too and he'd underestimated her and possibly me. When I told her what he'd been doing to me she didn't believe me, he'd fed her too many lines about what a screw up I was and how I'd been 'molesting' him when I was drunk or high and so she chose to believe something different and play a hand of her own in the game._

_She twisted what I said and told everyone that I'd been chasing after Dick, and then she told Mom, hoping I'd get the blame and be taken out of the game. Mom she apparently hadn't seen as much competition for Dick's affections and money._

_Dick was furious, getting me banished from Mom's presence was the last thing he'd intended, he wanted to drag me in deeper, not give me a chance to escape._

...

"Is he, are they?" Ew, I can't even, I don't know . . . .

"Yes. He dumped her initially to punish her and when she was suitably contrite he allowed their relationship to start up again, he even took her for a weekend in Aspen."

I shudder, rather her than me. Way rather her than me.

"I don't know." Edward says carefully. "If you want to know anything else about he's doing to her?"

"There's more?"

He nods soberly.

Do I? I said I wanted to know everything.

But not right now.

"What about Mom, what did he do to my Mom?"

...

_He wore her down, broke her down with his constant re-enforcement of what a terrible Mother, human being, she was. He gave her access to anything she wanted to numb the pains, alcohol, the pot stash I left behind when she threw me out. And through it all he made sure he didn't leave her alone long enough to get her bearings or any kind of mental traction on what she'd found out. Anytime it looked like it might happen physical or sexual punishment kept her on the track he wanted. He wanted her to get to the point that I'd have to come home._

_And finally she did._

_He came home from the club early knowing she'd be wasted, he thought staging an accident with a drunk that warranted my presence would be easy and he could get some satisfaction out of making her suffer in the process. When she had a heart attack and keeled over in the kitchen he knew the gods were smiling on him so he waited as long as he dared before giving her CPR. And then he tried calling me, enjoying that I wouldn't talk to him and that my Dad, the cop, would be the one to send me 'home'._

...

"And Mom? Edward, what's my Mom thinking about all this?"

"Rose . . . ."

"Edward."

"She isn't thinking anything Rose, she's gone, Dick waited too long. The Doctor knows this but he's a friend from the Country Club and Dick's convinced him that you aren't ready yet to cope with the news. He wants to keep you here as long as possible so he can find a way to make you stay."


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chapter Forty Cold Blood**

**RPOV**

"She's dead?"

"She isn't going to recover Rose."

"Fuck."

Em lets me out of his tight embrace and I drop Mom's cold hand like she's stung me, staring at her, waiting for a cohesive thought to form.

It doesn't.

All I can think about is how much I look like her.

The others are still talking.

"What are we going to do?" Bella asks.

"I'm going to kill him." Em growls. "He is not doing anything else to hurt my Honey. Ever."

When did that happen? I always used to look more like Dad, it used to drive me crazy because Mom had finer features and I always felt a bit mannish, even though plenty of guys seemed to find me attractive. Mom's amazing eyes were the only thing I thought we shared but now they're closed, funnily enough, all I can see is me.

Weird.

"We should wait." Edward is saying. "Patience, we can't afford any speculation."

My Mom is dead. Even though she's breathing. How am I supposed to work that one out?

"Mom?"

Nothing.

"Mom? Mom I'm so sorry I didn't know. I should have told you, warned you . . . . Mom?"

I can't breathe, Mom I can't breathe . . . .

"Honey!"

"Press the call button!"

"Let me at her Em . . . . she's just hyperventilating."

Dark gold eyes and furrowed bronze brow, two cool pale hands gently cupping my face.

"Rose. Look at me. You're having a panic attack. Breathe Honey, just breathe. Listen to my voice and breathe. Come on Rose, focus on me, stay with your family, here and now. We'll get through this. Together. We love you Rose. Ignore the growling, it's just Em, _he_ loves you Rose. Breathe, just breathe. She's not suffering any more. She's safe. He can't ever hurt her again. Or you. We're here now and we won't allow it. That's it, keep breathing. In, out, in, out, that's it . . . ."

His cool sweet breath bathes my face and gradually I come back to myself.

Great.

Dick killed my Mom and wants to do god knows what to me.

Over. My. Dead. Body.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Edward's eyelashes are so long, like a girl's and there's a very faint smattering of freckles across his nose.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"I always hated my freckles." Edward observes quietly. "My Mom said they were cute, no young man wants his Mother describing him as cute."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"Are you sure Rose?"

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"Any one of us would be more than willing to do it for you."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"Do what Edward?" Em's voice demands somewhere behind me. "What's she thinking? Honey, what are you thinking?"

Familiar hands try to prise me out of Edward's arms but I'm happy to keep staring into his dark eyes for the time being.

"It's not something you can ever forget." Edward murmurs as Bella encourages Em away from us. "Or forgive yourself for, however justified you feel."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"You may not care now but you might later. You'd be a murderer."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"Yes, it's a justification. Justice for all his victims. Insurance that he can never hurt anyone else again."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"But it's a great responsibility to bear. Judge, jury and executioner."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"No. He won't hate you for it. He understands. We all do. We'll all help if this is what you want."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"Rose, I don't know your Dad very well, but from what I do know he'd want to do the same thing if he knew."

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

"No Rose, trust us to help you if it's what you really want, he'll never know, no one will ever know but us."

I nod and Edward releases me to scramble to my feet and into Em's waiting arms.

...

Emotional highs precede chronic energy lows and suddenly I'm dead on my feet so they take me back to the hotel, letting Dad know that I need to rest.

And I do.

Sleeping like a baby in Em's arms as Bella and Edward watch over us like silent sentinels.

...

Dad meets me for breakfast.

"You look about how I feel." He observes as we both sip morosely at our coffee.

"She isn't going to make it." I sigh eventually.

"No." He says heavily. "I don't think she is. I spoke to Jasper, Doctor Whitlock, yesterday and he spoke to her Doctor. Rose . . . ."

He looks pained, preparing to explain but I already know so I put my hand over his.

"Its okay Dad, I already know."

"I suppose Em told you."

I don't correct him and he takes my hand in his big warm one and we just sit there for a while.

"For what it's worth Rose, I loved your Mom and I'm sorry."

I nod and he lapses back into silence.

Apparently the Doctor is going to speak to Dick, her next of kin, today about what happens next and I absolutely can't be there for that. But I don't know what to do, I can't let her die alone nor can I stomach the idea of her dying with only her murderer for company. I wish I could tell Dad what I know but it's out of the question, we can hardly wheel Edward out in a court of law and say 'here you go, he knows everything, listen while I crank up the chair'.

I don't know what to do, laugh, scream, cry, go to the hospital with Dad, stay in the hotel, take a walk, buy a shotgun or visit Natasha and ask her what the fuckety fuck she thinks she's doing.

"Rose." Dad's voice interrupts my musings. "I said Dick isn't coming in till after lunch today if you want to go ahead and visit with your Mom."

"Okay."

"I have something I need to do, will Em and the others go with you? I could meet you back here for lunch and then we could, you know, go back . . . ."

"Sure Dad, they wouldn't let me go alone." I lie, squinting out into the blazing Phoenix sun searing the hotel courtyard.

I don't mind going alone, in fact I rather like the idea of being able to say goodbye on my own, apologise for being a lousy daughter and tell her over and over that he's a lying sack of shit and of course I've forgiven her for what I made sure she didn't know.

...

I haven't ridden a Phoenix bus for years, it still sucks, but the hospital is as cool as ever, the Nurses all giving me encouraging smiles as I trudge down the corridor to Mom's room.

As soon as the door whisper closes shut behind me I start crying, the great heaving sobs that have been suspicious by their absence since Edward's words.

Great Rose, she's gonna hear and understand every word you're sobbing on her.

Except it doesn't make any difference which makes we wail harder and become even more incoherent.

Oh well, maybe by some miracle she can hear and see what's in my heart.

"I love you Mom . . . ."

Eventually I cry myself to sleep, slumped over her cold unmoving hand . . . .

...

I sigh as a warm hand gently strokes the back of my neck under my hair and then I freeze, Em's hands aren't warm.

"No Whitlocks?" Dick purrs. "No Chimp of Police? Have I finally managed to get you all alone?"

"Oh shit." I groan and his hand tightens round my neck.

"Is that any way to greet your Father?" He asks silkily, applying more pressure.

My heart is beating like a jack hammer, old fear and new anger but I still manage to scream, getting louder when his long fingers clench my throat painfully.

He jumps away from me as a cadre of Nurses and one very annoyed looking Doctor charge into the room.

"What's happening?" Someone demands.

"I'm sorry." I stammer, genuinely rubbing my sleep filled eyes. "He woke me up, scared me."

Several sets of eyes turn on Dick who smiles disarmingly and then they all traipse out with admonishments to consider the other patients.

Leaving me alone with Dick.

By the time the door closes I've scooted round so that the bed, and Mom, are between us.

"Don't come near me." I warn him, snatching up the call button.

"Okay Rosalie." He laughs, holding up his hands and arranging himself nonchalantly in the chair I've just vacated. "I only wanted to talk to you anyway."

I rub my neck without thinking and his smile widens.

"When are you coming home, your Mother will need all your support while she's recovering."

My mouth falls open and then snaps shut, he doesn't know we know.

"I'm not coming home Dick."

"Don't call me that, I'd hate to have to punish you."

"Good luck with that." I snort

"I have my methods." He informs me. "Surely you wouldn't want to drag your boyfriend into this?"

"He's already in it."

"Perhaps." Dick allows. "But for how long Rose? You're an awful lot of trouble."

"I've often wondered that myself _Dick_ but he's not showing any signs of leaving just yet and I really don't think you'll be able to do anything to persuade him otherwise."

"You may be surprised." He hums. "He seems very protective of that pretty little sister of his . . . ."

I laugh, I can't help it. That pretty little sister of his would eat Dick for breakfast if she weren't a strict vegetarian. Then I sober up and look suitably pensive. As much as I'd like to lord it over him and let him know that I know what an evil manipulative _murderer_ he is and how little his threats would matter to my family, even I can tell that it's not a good idea to overplay my hand. He's obviously very good at these games and as much as I want him dead I do _not_ want to go to prison or get anyone dismembered by the Volturi for it.

God, when did I become so cold blooded? Oh right, when that fucking monster murdered my Mom.

He takes my silence to mean I've got the message and his smile widens.

Whatever Dick.

"My Dad is expecting me back for lunch." I whisper, glancing at the clock.

"Then you mustn't be late, let me drive you back to the hotel."

"No."

"Rose." He sighs. "You can be so unreasonable."

"Dick, I'm not getting in a car with you." Unless it's to dump your lifeless corpse in a deep lake somewhere.

"What is it you think I'm going to do to you Rose?"

I shiver involuntarily, yes I'm still scared of him, and the fucker laughs, absolutely delighted.

I have to get out of here and quickly, so with a mental apology I press the call button like a mo fo . . . . and in the commotion that follows I slip out into the corridor and away . . . .

...

Adrenaline gone I heave my weary ass off the bus and immediately notice the three people lined up in the shade of the hotel portico.

Em, Bella and Edward.

They look pissed and extremely savage.

"Hey Rose!" Dad hollers from somewhere behind me. "I was just gonna drive down and get you, Bella rang the hospital and was scarily insistent about it."

"Dad!" I launch myself at him and the poor man manages to catch me and steady us before we topple over.

"Whoa Rose, you okay?"

I nod into his shoulder, gripping him so tight the seam on his t-shirt lets go.

"Okay, steady now, we don't want give the concierge a free show."

He edges me toward the shade and we're barely under it when a set of pale are arms whip out and extract me from his grasp.

"You know." Dad observes to Em. "You might wanna catch a little sun while you're here."

"I'll get on it tomorrow Chief." Em promises. "But with a Doctor for a Dad sun worshipping is seriously discouraged."

"Seriously Chief." Bella chips in as Em's embrace threatens to cut off my oxygen supply. "You're looking a bit red already, what have you been doing?"

"Digging." Dad says cryptically. "Come on, let's get some gratuitously over priced lunch."

We head for the dining room, Em keeping the two of us back.

"If you leave my sight again while Dick is still breathing I am going to strip naked and disco ball my ass to your exact location so we can all die together when the Volturi find out."

"I'm sorry, Em, he was supposed to be working."

"Please Honey, promise me."

"Em, I'm not sure I can but I promise I won't go anywhere without Dad."

"Your Dad is not invincible Rose."

"Em, I promise, I won't let him catch me out like that again."

"You're not invincible either Honey."

"Not yet."

"Ahem. Whitlock, stop molesting my daughter and come order some lunch."

"Yes Chief." Em calls, unfastening our lips so I can breathe.

...

After lunch I went out to the hotel pool and soaked up the 'dangerous' sun while Dad went to the hospital and watched Mom officially die.

I feel like shit about it but I couldn't face Dick again, not unless he was staring down the business end of a gun I was holding.

I'm a lousy daughter.

I wanted to protect her but instead I just managed to get her killed.

The other hotel guests are avoiding the pale Amazonian blonde with the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Plus ça change**.**

Like I care.

After several hours Dad drops heavily into the lounger beside me.

He doesn't need to say anything.

And my anger at Dick escalates tenfold. I couldn't even be there for my own Mother's death because of that evil cunt.

He's going to pay for that final insult.


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

**Rated M for several reasons.**

**Chapter Forty One Hiatus**

**RPOV**

It was Dad that held me that night as I cried myself to sleep.

I cried for everything I could think of though I told the poor man nothing about why.

...

Dick wants Mom to be buried in her home town.

How nice.

I couldn't even bring myself to ask Edward what his motivations were for that decision, I was just grateful that we could all go home.

...

I tried to involve myself in the planning process, I really did, but even over the telephone I couldn't deal with Dick. So I let Dad and Alice do it.

Dick's money was apparently going to give her everything I could have asked for if I'd ever thought about my own Mom's funeral.

Which I hadn't.

I tried to bury myself in work and the store but that didn't work too well either, I think I was driving Carlisle demented with my aimless wandering and new found ability to forget what the fuck I was doing within seconds of deciding to do it. When I filled up a customer's bait can with dog biscuits he called Em to come get me.

...

"Where are we going?"

"Picnic." Em answers as his truck roars out of town.

"Thanks." I mutter, patting his huge denim clad thigh. "I'm pretty useless at the moment."

"I know." He laughs. "Carlisle can't lie, bless him."

...

To my surprise I tuck into Em's picnic like a starving woman, which is when I realise that I haven't eaten properly in a few days. And Em, who knows when I'm not feeling talkative, lies back and loses himself in his e-reader.

The sun is high in the sky, obviously having its last Forks hurrah, lighting my boyfriend up like a multi faceted diamond.

The grass in the meadow is starting to wane, lush green giving way to more and more brittle yellow and there are hardly any flowers left.

It all serves to remind me that nothing is supposed to stay the same forever.

I was fairly gutted when we left Forks but Mom and I had a good life in Phoenix, we were friends as much as anything else, and she managed to make most things fun.

Until Dick.

And then I came back to Forks and though I didn't think it was possible I made friends, real friends and the bad things that happened gradually seemed less important. In fact, I was a happy bunny there for a while.

I lean back against Em with a sigh and he accepts me easily into his side.

Alright, I can never be a completely unhappy bunny with him in my life.

But I wish things hadn't changed. I wish my Mom was still somewhere in the sun of Phoenix in happy ignorance of Dick's less than savoury attributes, which was just how I was beginning to picture her whenever I thought of 'dying' so I could be with Em forever. I hadn't worked out what I was going to do about Dad, not that he needs me to look after him, but still, he does love me, this I know. And I thought there was time, bucket loads of it, time to make sure he was okay, time to find someone to love Reynold's Hardware.

But now, maybe there isn't.

"I don't know what to do." I confess.

"Doze in the sun. Nature hike. Make out with your super hot boyfriend? Naturist's nature hike that involves making out with your super hot boyfriend?"

"Perv."

"I keep trying Honey."

I stop giggling and he sets his e-reader aside.

"I don't know what to do about Dick."

"Ah."

"He doesn't deserve to live."

"No argument from me there. I'm your mate, he hurt you and he still represents a threat to you, if I hadn't promised he'd be dead already."

"It's not your responsibility."

"I think you'll find you are."

"You know what I mean. Dick isn't your responsibility."

"He's not yours either."

"Yes he is. He killed my Mom."

"That doesn't make him your problem."

"But I know what he did, I have a responsibility to stop him doing it again, to avenge Mom." And myself.

"I know what he did, Edward knows what he did, I do, Bella does. Doesn't that make us all responsible?"

"Em . . . ."

"We're all murderers Honey, one thoroughly deserving monster's death isn't going to bother any one of us."

"It's not any of your responsibilities." I insist. "He doesn't deserve to live after what he's done, I feel that, deep down. And I'm pretty sure I could cheerfully bludgeon him to death in the heat of the moment. But in cold blood? Not so sure now. Which is a shame because I'd really like to kill him."

"Not that I don't appreciate this rather bloody thirsty side of you but we could try gathering evidence and turning him over to the cops."

"Do you think it will work?"

"I did but Edward's been in your Dad's head and now I'm not so sure."

"Dad?"

"He knows there's more to your Dick hatred than simple step parent issues . . . . no Honey, he doesn't suspect all of it, just that Dick might be a little handy with his fists where the ladies are concerned. And he's not convinced your Mom's heart attack was an accident either. But he spent a lot of time poking his nose into things while were in Phoenix and he couldn't find anything to go with his gut instinct."

"Is it terrible that I'm glad? I mean, a small part of me wants him to know, wants him to understand, but the bigger part of me is pretty sure he's gonna do something dire to Dick and ruin his life over it."

"The Chief has law and order tattooed through his middle Honey, but yes, if he knew even part of the truth about Dick we'd be helping him bury the body, I'm pretty sure cold blood won't be an issue for him."

"I used to dream about that sometimes."

"I know."

We both sigh.

"Which still leaves us with one enormous problem."

"Lets not big him up Honey, he's only a little Dick."

Ah laughter, the best medicine.

And Em, the best dispenser of it.

...

It's only a few days but it feels like I've waited forever for Mom's funeral.

Es and Alice found me a suitable dress and Bella helped me get ready.

So did Ang, even though she and Ben couldn't really afford the trip back to Forks.

It was a bit like some weird wedding preparation.

And that sensation was re-enforced when we entered the church for the service, Dick was waiting at the pew in the front and the Whitlocks came down the aisle behind Dad and me like some fucked up wedding party.

Dad sat next to Dick, I sat next to Dad and Em slipped in beside me, taking my hand.

I didn't cry, I was too aware of Mom's lifeless body lying in the casket and Dick's regrettably still breathing one on the other side of Dad.

I did cry when they lowered her into the ground.

And then I went to the wake and got stuck into Dick's booze.

Sensing disaster Em snagged a bottle of Chivas Regal from behind the bar and spirited me away to the bleachers at Forks High.

...

"Not that I don't app-appreciate the gesture but I was just working up a really good head of steam there."

"I can imagine." Em chuckles, tucking me into his lap. "He sure knows how to lay on the charm doesn't he?"

"Yeah." I sigh.

"I'm sorry for dragging you away Honey but after all this time I can just about read your mind and I thought you beating him to death with the ice sculpture in front of the other mourners would be a less discrete way of dealing with him than you were aiming for when sober."

"S'okay, would probably have slipped out of my hands and brained one of the ole ladies anyway. Don't wanna go to jail."

"I don't want you to go jail either, breaking you out would open up a whole host of questions I can't answer."

"You'd break me out of jail?"

"Hell yes."

"Will you help me bury the body?"

"You know I will."

"This is a very strange conversation."

"Not really. Your boyfriend and his family are all immortal killers, it's bound to have rubbed off on you."

"It's your fault I'm a homicidal maniac?"

"I've got broad shoulders Honey, I can handle it, and, one day, you genuinely will be."

"When you make me a vampire?"

"When I make you a vampire."

"I'm scared."

"You'd be crazy not to be."

"Maybe I should wait till then to off Dick?"

"Ew, you'd wanna drain him?"

"This is a very strange conversation. And no, but it would be cool to rip him limb from limb. I bet he'd be surprised as fuck."

"They always are Honey."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Now it's my turn to complain that this is a very strange conversation."

"I know, right?"

"Considering only one of us is as drunk as a skunk."

"What did you expect?" I object, waggling the almost empty bottle at him. "You stole me whisky."

"I didn't force you to drink it."

"Nobody ever forced me to drink it 'cept Dick . . . . stop growlin'."

"Yes ma'am."

"You haven't stopped."

"There's no fooling you is there?"

"I love you."

"Good job."

"No, I really love you . . . ."

"Alright Honey, time to go home."

"Are we moving?"

"We're moving."

"I thought so . . . . I feel sick . . . ."

...

Dad is just clearing the last of the die hard 'mourners' out of our tiny house when Em carries me inside.

"Jesus Rose." He huffs before addressing Em and relieving me of the empty bottle. "Did she drink all of it?"

"No Sir, I helped."

"You must have hollow legs Son. Take her up to bed, and take a bucket or something with you, you can look after her."

"Always do Chief, always do."

"Fucking Dick . . . ." Dad mutters as Em carries me upstairs.

...

"I'm dying." I murmur through multifaceted layers of pain.

"Sorry Honey, not even close, you're healthy as a horse as always, it's just a monumental hangover."

I crack an eye open and then close it rapidly, dazzling naked bodies are more than I can cope with in this condition.

"Where are your clothes?"

"You puked on 'em a time or two."

"Ew, sorry."

"Here, drink some water."

"Not yet."

"Go back to sleep then."

"Can't . . . ."

"You can, we've got your back. Es and Carlisle have opened the store, your Dad's at work and Dick is still in his hotel room, plotting with his henchmen."

"Ang, Ben, I'm such a lousy fucking friend . . . ."

"Having lunch with Ben's parents who are ecstatic to have them home, not leaving until tonight. Go back to sleep, it's not even lunchtime yet."

"Henchmen, what henchmen?"

"Sleep now, answers later."

"Safe, everybody safe?"

"Everybody you care about is safe Honey, go back to sleep."

"Em, I'm sorry I'm so much trouble . . . ."

"You can never be too much trouble, I love you."

"Sucker . . . ."

"Nice, go back to sleep."

...

"Still not dead." Em observes as my eyes crack open again.

"Ungh. Water . . . ." I moan. "And drugs, I need drugs."

Water and Advil are supplied.

"Thank you." I groan, lying back down. "I'm never drinking again."

Em doesn't dignify that with a comment.

"I'm never drinking that much again." I clarify, which makes him laugh.

"You buried your Mom yesterday in the presence of her murderer, I'll let you off."

"Thanks. Henchmen?"

"There's a problem with the Henchmen." Em admits. "But not one that can't wait until you've said goodbye to Ang and Ben."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. They're your friends, that's more important right now."

"Have I told you recently that I love you?"

"No, being drunk doesn't count."

"I love you."

"I'm not sure being hung over counts either, you'll have to tell me again later."

"Needy much?"

"Honey, you have no idea . . . ."

...

Ben laughs at my hung over ass and Ang drags me away from everyone.

"Are you alright?" She hisses.

"I'm fine." I assure her.

She jerks my shades off my face.

"Hangover."

"Yes, I can see that. That's not what I'm worried about."

"Ang . . . ."

"I won't pry Rose because I don't want to and I haven't yet, but you tell me right now if there's a problem with your Step Father because he gives me the fucking creeps."

"You cursed . . . ."

"Rose!" She barks, hurting my sensitive ears.

"There was a problem Ang, but there isn't any more, I promise."

"Okay." She says, eyes boring into mine. "But you will tell me if there is and I will help you. We _are_ friends."

I nod and she crushes me into a hug, jesus, is she a fucking vampire too?

"Can't . . . . breathe . . . ." I groan.

"Promise me." She growls, sounding very much like Bells.

"I promise. Don't worry about me, I have Em."

We look across to where he and Ben are fooling around waiting for us.

"Thank you. For coming back for the funeral . . . ."

"Friends." She reminds me. "Do shit like that for each other."


End file.
